Oh, Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

Benjamin Kerei

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or in any means – by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise – without prior written permission.

ISBN 978-0-473-57578-6

Copyright © 2021 Benjamin Kerei

All rights reserved.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Arnold’s Final Stats

Mailing List, Twitter, and Facebook

Author Aaron Hodges

Also by Benjamin Kerei

Acknowledgments

A lot of work goes into publishing a novel. But there is literally years more work that goes into publishing your first novel. Unlike a lot of writers, my family and friends have always been incredibly supportive. So I’d like to thank my parents for always showing support and never questioning my decision to pursue writing, even when half a decade went by with no results. I’d like to thank my brothers for listening to me for hours when I needed to bounce ideas off someone. I’d like to thank my friends and relatives who never gave me flack for chasing my dreams and actively encourage me. You are all awesome people and I love you.

Now to acknowledge the people who helped make this novel great. Luciano Fleitas, thank you for bringing my ideas to life through your cover art. It is truly awesome. Genevieve Lerner, thank you for all your thoughts and insights during the editing process. Thanks for typesetting all of this Nikko. I honestly have no clue how to do any of what you’ve done.

Lastly, I would like to thank my beta readers. Each of you changed this novel in many small ways making it better than what I could do alone. So thank you. However, two of you put in so much effort that I’m still amazed. So I would like to give a special thanks to Ben and Russell. Without your insights and corrections this novel wouldn’t be what it is.

Preface

Warning, this novel is a framed story which means that the first scene is written from the future. Far in the future. This series will not catch up. If you think that’s too much of a spoiler for you then jump forward to the first ornamental break and read from there.

1

DEATH, REINCARNATION, AND DISAPPOINTMENT

My grandchildren’s giggling laughter rang through the palace, echoing off vaulted ceilings and polished floors, easing away my frown and leaving a content smile in its place. Family, a good one, is the most precious gift you can receive in life. And I have been lucky enough to receive two.

A thought, a brief effort of will and mana, and my study door closed, cutting off the playful sounds of a happy life. Without the laughter the study’s richness faded. Luxury and excess covered every surface, but without joy it held no value. Gold, jewels, trinkets, and rare artefacts…you live long enough and all these become meaningless shiny baubles.

My gaze landed on the blue leather-bound book waiting on my old jade desk. My smile dropped to a scowl.

I sighed, scratching the back of my neck. “What is the point in being one of the most powerful men in the kingdom if I am too afraid of my wife to tell her I don’t want to do this?”

The opulence in my empty study sparkled, but offered no helpful advice.

I shook my head, made my way to the desk, and sat down, thumbing open the cover to the first blank page. New paper smell filled the room as I picked up my favourite fountain pen. I paused, looking at the pen. If I valued anything in my study it was this pen.

It was a gift from a friend.

The design appeared to be the same as any dwarven-made steel pen, —meaning beautifully etched, yet simplistic and functional. It was utterly unremarkable in a palace.

Unless you knew one small fact: the iron used in its creation was formed from the blood of an ancient dragon. That one detail made a simple pen into something extraordinary, utterly unique. Something not easily replicated.

And it was a joke.

And a very good one, by dwarven standards.

It goes like this. A plainly-dressed human walks up to a dwarf chief and addresses him as an equal. The chief head-butts him.

It’s funny because dwarves have trouble telling humans apart. They see our people so rarely that most of us look the same to them. They identify our station from the clothing we wear. So when a dwarf chief meets a man dressed no differently than an ordinary merchant who talks to him like an equal, of course he is going to head-butt him for his audacity. And of course, years later, when he needs to make a gift for that same man, his friend, he is going to do so in true dwarven fashion, with an utterly unique pen that looks no more impressive than something which can be found in any dwarven shop.

My smile returned.

After I was finished with this nonsense, I would go and see how the old goat was doing.

I began to write.

The first chronicles of Arnold Parker, as told by me:

As I recall my many exploits, I must admit one simple truth: the beginning of my tale is not overly unique. I was born in another world, another universe. We called my world Earth and the land the kingdom of Radian resides in America and Mexico. There was no inherent magic in my world, only that which we created ourselves, with nothing but our minds and labour.

Earth was a beautiful world. It was not perfect or easy, but we were making it into something extraordinary. I’ve often wondered what it might be like now, but alas, that is not why you are here. You are here because you believe this is where you will learn about my many legendary accomplishments.

Nevertheless, this is my story, and I will tell it how I prefer, so if we are going to begin this tale anywhere, it will be where I choose, and I choose to start at the beginning. Back before all the fame and glory, back when I was a simple farmer, back to the events that led to the creation of that damned awful song that has plagued me since it came into my life.

Yes, this is the story of a song.

That song.

I know you know it. There isn’t a child over five in any of the eleven kingdoms that doesn’t know it by heart. And I know you’ve gotten drunk and belted out the words along with the children during a threshold party or festival. Everyone sings Silly Arnold. It’s as well known as the Chicken Dance or Macarena in my own world.

And I could honestly live with that if that was all it was. But would you like to know what really pisses me off about that song? It’s not the ridiculous words or the silly nature. It’s not the fact it has made my life a bit of a joke. It is the fact that it has earned me more fame than anything else I have ever done. I’ve checked my logs, and none of my other accomplishments come close.

It is utter bullshit.

So, you are not going to read what you want to read until you learn the truth behind the song. Now, I will admit the truth makes me look like a bit of an idiot, but I was young, so possessed many of the worst qualities of youth, and I would rather look like an idiot than the alternative.

So we are going back to the beginning, back to before I was incarnated, back to when I was only late for a tournament.

* * *

Sweat trickled down my back, soaking my shirt, as I squeezed my way through the overcrowded bus to the rear door and slapped the bell. The ding caused everyone to scowl. We were all late for something, cursing the Houston public transport system.

The bus slowed to a stop. The door hissed open, allowing a wave of hot summer air to rush in, destroying what little progress the air conditioning managed to achieve in the past few minutes.

The space in front of the Waller Convention Centre stood empty. The crowd of two thousand who bought tickets had long since entered. A massive Warlord’s banner hung above the entrance, rippling in the breeze, and reflecting the Houston sun.

I leapt onto the sidewalk and started running for the players’ entrance to the right of the main door, knowing the place from past tournaments. My worn trainers pounded out a beat as I sped across the hot concrete. The only thought going through my head was…fuck, another curveball.

A more perfect analogy for my gaming career probably didn’t exist. Being late for my last tournament summed it up nicely.

A few years ago, I might have been angry. However, the bus breaking down was just another curveball life had thrown my way. I had been standing at the plate so long that striking out didn’t faze me anymore. If anything, the curveballs made me more resilient. You have to be when your pro gaming career spends nine years on the edge of a home run without ever quite taking that final step which pushes you from semi-pro to pro.

If you don’t become resilient, you break down or become one of those basement trolls who live with their parents and spend their free time watching professional matches, yelling at their computer screens, deluding themselves into thinking they could do better. The only difference between those guys and those washed up high-school athletes is they never got laid as much.

I’d seen it happen to my friends. Charley, Max, Don—one by one, our old team’s lack of success drove them away. They went straight, got real jobs: mechanic, programming, a male nurse. Yeah, we all gave Don shit for that.

Now it was my turn to go straight.

My turn to let go of my dreams.

My new team, if you could call us that, was third in the line-up. The second teams were already facing off and halfway through their match. I could hear the commentator through the live stream on my phone. The delay was about ten minutes behind, and if I didn’t get inside in the next few minutes, we would forfeit.

I needed this win.

Not to go pro, that dream was as dead as a hooker in a Vegas hotel bathroom. No, this win was to pay the bills. My university tuition was covered. I’d always been bright, so I’d earned myself a decent scholarship even at twenty-six. But I had other expenses.

Expenses the wealthy parents of the high school kids I was coaching promised to cover if I could make their little assholes place in the top three. If they failed, I was looking at weekends of flipping burgers. Five grand wasn’t much to some people, but it would keep me in ramen and TV dinners for the next year, and by then, my accounting papers would qualify me for work that didn’t require manual labour.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and took them two at a time, holding out my player pass. “Arnold Parker, I’m in team Archomundo,” I shouted to the overweight security guard in front of the door.

I ran most days to keep fit. So the little run for the door hadn’t left me anywhere close to panting and my words came through clear. The guy, only a couple of years older than me, who had been mildly concerned by my speed, immediately lost interest, going so far as to step out of my way, waving me through.

As he stepped aside, a small blonde cosplay girl, wearing some sort of white robe with gold stitched runes came into view. She’d hidden behind his bulk, her eyes downcast as she muttered under her breath, blocking the player’s entrance.

“Coming through,” I shouted, not wanting to slow.

The girl remained in place, muttering. Something about her presence triggered my inner nerd instincts, telling me she was in character, the way hardcore cosplayers loved to be. She was just a kid, not even old enough to be in high school, so she was probably just playing a game with people, testing their nerd credentials.

I smiled.

My sister Sophie was the same at her age.

If I could remember who she was cosplaying, maybe I could say some sort of phrase and she would get out of the way. She was definitely a side character from one of the newer fantasy anime. Any of the older ones and I wouldn’t need to think about it. Her character’s name sat on the edge of my tongue, which annoyed me more than her being in my way. There was a time I could literally name any character any cosplayers were impersonating at any con, but the last few years I’d been missing more and more.

I had to face facts.

I was getting old.

I didn’t have endless hours to waste watching anime.

I reached the top of the stairs, and the name failed to appear. I slowed to a quick walk, marching up to the girl, intending to squeeze past since I couldn’t remember who she was pretending to be.

I turned side on and began to squeeze by. “Pardon me…argh—”

The girl’s palm slammed against my chest glowing with a nebulous green light. There was a flash of pain as the muscles around her hand constricted. The pain doubled and then doubled again. I felt my heart beat, once, twice, and then I was falling.

The security guard stepped through the girl, making her vanish like a mirage, concern engraved on his features. His lips moved, but no sound came out. And the world got smaller and smaller.

* * *

I absently scratched at the tattoo between my new man boobs, trying and failing to adjust to the body that Damella had forced my soul into, as I continued to vent. The last thirty minutes were like striking out at an endless supply of curveballs while riding a roller coaster blindfolded. “So, let me get this straight! In an attempt to call back a spirit from the afterlife and resurrect your universe’s version of me, she somehow ripped my soul out of my body and shoved it into the dead body of your universe’s version of me,” I shouted, glaring at Damella, the young acolyte who’d been standing in the doorway in my world, and was now standing next to me in my apparently new one.

The girl blushed a brighter shade of red, matching the colour of the silk altar cloth I’d quickly wrapped around myself after rousing and discovering I was naked. She dropped her gaze and clutched at her acolyte robes, which I’d mistaken for a cosplay outfit, nervously balling them between her fists.

Varla, the archbishop of whichever god’s temple I was in, nodded her head, still fiddling with the magical ring she’d slipped onto my finger that allowed us to communicate.

Varla was a few years older than me, early thirties, and gorgeous enough to almost distract me from my anger. She was on the tall side for a woman, almost six feet, with dusty blonde hair tied back in a bun, and soft, intelligent blue eyes. It was mostly her ornate white and red robes that gave her a presence of authority. “That’s basically what seems to have happened, Arnold. It is a complication of the resurrection process.”

“A complication of the resurrection process”—that was too delicate a way of saying that Damella had killed me. I turned to the giant golden serpent on the white marble wall to my right, trying to distract myself while I counted to ten. Maybe they worshipped it. Maybe it was just a symbol like the cross is to Christians. Right now, I didn’t care. I was trying to calm down.

It didn’t work.

The foreignness of the symbol made me angrier.

This curveball was a little bigger than the ones life usually hits me with.

I wanted to shout, scream, swear, and vent my frustration. The sight of the girl made me angrier than I’d ever been in my life. This was too much to deal with. The ramifications of the archbishop’s statement was...was not something I could face this second. I felt like I was drowning and anger was the only thing keeping me afloat.

A small growl escaped my mouth. My hands began to shake. “You know, up until about an hour ago, I would have told you there is no good reason to hit a child.” My fist came up. “But I’d never been killed by one before, so what did I know?”

The small acolyte cowered, but she did not run. I sat there, trembling with fury, angrier than I’d ever been, but she was like ten. And I wasn’t about to hit a ten-year-old, no matter how angry I was, even if she had accidentally killed me.

I forced myself to lower my fist and grip the edge of the altar until my knuckles turned white. I took several slow, deep breaths, counting them out, trying to force myself to relax.

Varla calmly reached down and removed the thin wooden cane hanging from her belt and offered it me. “First of all, Damella is thirteen, and that makes her a legal adult; otherwise, she could never have started her apprenticeship with the temple. Secondly, if you are planning to beat her for killing you, temple regulations require you use a cane. In the past, we’ve had too many priests and priestesses a little too eager to lay hands on our young acolytes.”

I stared at the archbishop, confused. Her tone was far too calm. “Wait, you want me to beat her?”

The archbishop shrugged, not at all concerned by my anger. “She is going to be punished for her actions, and whether I do it or you do it makes little difference to me.” She turned to the girl whose eyes were glued to the cane. “Your instructors have been too lenient, Damella. They gave you permission to use this altar for minor rituals. You used that permission to sneak a dead body in here and attempt a full resurrection. Now, we must deal with the results of your actions, actions which have irrevocably changed the trajectory of someone’s life. You will find no more chances, no more special treatment. Today, you face judgement. Today you receive the most severe reprimand I am allowed to issue and it is honestly not enough after what you have done…so prepare yourself for punishment.”

The girl didn’t protest. She didn’t deny her actions. She moved forward and placed her hands upon the altar bending forward slightly, not bending over like they used to do in Catholic school, more like how people used to stand when they were flogged. Her body trembled as she bravely resigned herself to her fate.

The archbishop stepped forwards and brought the cane down across the girl’s lower back. Whack! Damella shrieked. Three more blows followed in quick succession, one on the back of the thighs, one on the middle of the back and the last across the shoulder blades. Whack! Whack! Whack! The blows were so quick the girl didn’t have time to inhale before crying out, so only breathless whimpers followed.

The archbishop turned and held out the cane, offering it to me again. “Would you like a turn? Or should I continue?”

I stared at the girl, trying to feel pity for her, trying to give myself a reason not to take Varla up on her offer. None came. All I felt was anger, anger that kept my head above the water, anger that denied the reality of my situation.

I didn’t even get off the altar. I grabbed the cane and brought it down across Damella’s shoulder blades with everything I had.

Whack!

You have caused 1 bludgeoning damage to Damella.

I dropped the cane, losing what little semblance of self-control I’d managed to retain throughout this ordeal. “Ah! What the hell? There are words floating in the air.”

“Oh, dear,” Varla said. “Judging by your reaction, you don’t have damage prompts in your world.”

The words began to fade.

I turned to Varla.

She was frowning.

She’d explained some of the bare basics about my new world, like the fact that it was magic that brought me here. That was intriguing but not enough to distract me from my anger. However, this new bit of information caught my attention in a way the rest hadn’t. “Wait, did you say ‘damage prompts’?”

“Yes.”

“Does that mean you have health?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“Does that mean you can level, get stronger here?”

“The short answer is yes.”

My expression softened as I stepped away from the altar. My emotions were suddenly at war with each other. Excitement was trying to smother the angry inferno inside me. I picked up the cane. There was barely any weight to it. My gaze landed on Damella. Her small body was leaning against the altar quivering. Tears were running down both cheeks. Excitement fought hard, but didn’t win, and my anger didn’t lessen.

Whack!

You have caused 1 bludgeoning damage to Damella.

* * *

The archbishop had left me alone in her study. It was filled with comfortable leather chairs, several white marble bookshelves, and a large white marble desk. There were more of those golden sun serpents on the wall, but few other decorations, besides a small wine rack and glasses.

I’d gotten in exactly three swings with the cane before the archbishop took it back. The excited grin that suddenly appeared on my face, no matter what it looked like, hadn’t been some sort of perverted enjoyment. Yes, I was excited, but not for what was going on—well, not for that part of what was going on. No, my excitement was for the damage prompts. Each strike elicited a point of damage. And each point of damage created a little prompt.

I’d nearly fainted when Varla confirmed that I was in a universe with video game mechanics. A few more quick questions to the archbishop and my hopes were confirmed. Not only could I level, but there were also monsters and dungeons.

I was so giddy with mad excitement that my anger fled. I’d barely paid attention to the crying girl as the archbishop continued to strike her in what seemed like an endless stream of punishment. Each new answer Varla gave created another question and another exciting answer.

I was living every gamer’s dream.

I was going to get to be a wizard, or maybe a spellsword, or perhaps I’d become a barbarian. No, probably not a barbarian—getting hit with a cane looked like it hurt, and claws and swords would likely be a whole lot worse.

A fit of crazed giggles escaped me. It shook my body and left me breathless. I didn’t care. I hadn’t felt this great since I was a child, back when sugar and friends were enough to leave me floating.

Some part of me knew the feeling couldn’t last, that reality would catch up with me. I ignored that little voice, squashing it down into a corner where I didn’t have to listen to it.

I smiled and opened my interface again, using the method Varla taught me. It was so easy. I only needed to think and there it was.

I was still opening and closing the interface when the study door opened. The archbishop walked in, with a gorgeous, midnight black cat at her heels. She crossed the room to the wine rack, selected a bottle, and opened it. She poured herself a glass. Then she took a seat behind her desk, placing the bottle down without offering me any.

She finished the glass in a single swallow and then poured another. “Serpent above, this mess has me pulling my hair out.” She flicked her gaze to me. “I’ve been thinking about your reaction back in the temple. Am I to understand you are happy with your current situation?”

“I’m excited and that’s not close to the same as happy,” I said. “Why?”

“Circumstances like yours are rare, but they do happen. It is standard practice to offer those in your situation the opportunity to be sent back to their universe. However, even if your body is alive, there is less than a 1% chance I will be successful without another cleric to receive and reintegrate your soul into your body.”

I lost some of my excitement. “You kill people in other universes regularly enough to have standard practices for sending them back?”

She took a sip of wine. “No. It is very rare for a cleric to have the power to pull a soul from a living body. Usually, people in your situation have recently died in their universe. Their soul is in transit and accidentally mistaken for their counterpart. However, like I said that is not always the case, and several centuries ago, there was a woman, Morgana, who was also taken from her universe while alive. She made it her life’s work to return to her world. She succeeded in developing a safe and reliable method, which forced the crown to pass Morgana’s Law, mandating the temple offer any in her situation the opportunity to return. So I have to make the offer.”

“Less than 1% chance at life. No thanks.”

She took another sip. “At least you aren’t an idiot. Now, what do you want to do about your murder?”

I leaned back and crossed my arms, losing a bit more excitement. “What do you mean?”

“Damella killed you. She may not have done so intentionally, but the result is the same. I’m not sure how your world works, but in ours, that can be considered a crime. Would you like me to inform the city guard?”

The last of my excitement left me. I hadn’t actually thought this far ahead. “What would they do to her?”

The archbishop took a long swallow, almost draining her glass of wine. “She’s from a powerful family, but the law is the law. She didn’t murder you in our world, so there is no chance of her going feral, which means this would be treated as an accidental murder through negligence. At the very least, she’d receive twenty-five years of hard labour.”

Damn!

“And if you don't go to the guard?”

“She’d remain here to continue her training, but I would take a personal interest in her. She certainly won’t be performing any more resurrections.”

“Let me think about it,” I said.

I was quoting my father. He’d always say that when something threw him. No matter how hard you pushed him, he wouldn’t make a decision right then and there if he didn’t feel ready to. It was one of the more useful tricks he taught me. Right now, I needed more information. “What‘s going to happen to me?”

Varla stifled a yawn. “That honestly depends on your decision. If you choose to go to the guards then I’m going to have to go to the wife and children of the man whose body you possess and tell them that though you look like the same man you are not. There will be a fair amount of yelling and a lot of tears, but eventually, they will understand and have to move on. You might choose to keep in contact with them or you may decide to go your own way. It will be up to you.”

“And if you don’t go to the guard?”

She leaned forward and smiled. “Well, that’s a little more interesting. Your arrival has the potential to solve one of my problems. You are what we call an incarnate. As an incarnate, the law requires our temple to pay you 1,000 silver pieces to help you survive in our world. If you are frugal, that is enough money to live on for three to five years without needing to work.”

“Why’s that interesting?”

“It is interesting because I am currently trying to hide a familiar from a demon lord, and as you have no connection to anyone in our world, and are not attached to the temple, no one would suspect you or come after you if you bond with him.”

I frowned, pausing before replying. “Why would I do that?”

The cat that had followed her inside leapt up onto the table and looked me up and down before rolling his eyes—which looked weird on a cat.

“Do you honestly believe this simpleton can grasp the complexity of the topics involved in this conversation?” the cat asked. His voice was deeper than his size should have allowed. He flicked his black tail, then sauntered over to the wine bottle and casually knocked it over with his paw.

After what had already happened to me today, meeting a talking cat only made me blink. Your brain can only take so many reality-altering surprises before it gives up, throws on its jacket, and heads out to buy a packet of cigarettes. I’m sure it would come back at some point and sort through this mess. I’d probably freak out then, but for now I was simply too confused to be shocked by any new surprise.

The archbishop glared at the cat as her wine spilled across her table. At least it was made of marble and not wood.

Varla picked up the bottle and poured the rest into her glass, still glaring at the cat. “He is the best option you have. And he actually needs your services.”

The cat leaned over and began lapping up the wine. Then he looked up and sighed. “Oh, goody. Another despot desperately in need of my genius. I so look forward to teaching him how to pick turnips. How can I refuse such an opportunity? I will—”

It was the way that he said pick turnips that made me interrupt their conversation. “Um, what do you mean, ‘pick turnips’?”

The cat groaned. “See, he does not even know what a turnip is.”

“I know what a turnip is,” I growled, not liking his tone. “I just don’t know why you think I’d be picking them?”

“Turnips, pumpkins, carrots, squash; I do not know what sort of level zero crop you will be planting, but it will be one of those, and I do not wish to be a part of any of it.”

“Neither do I, I hate gardening.”

The cat started to chuckle and then laugh. Finally, he fell onto his back in utter hysterics. “Oh, it is a farmer that does not like to garden. How quaint.”

I turned to the archbishop for a better answer. “What’s he talking about? Why does he think I’ll be gardening?”

Varla frowned, pressing her lips together. “You do realise you’re a farmer?”

“No, I’m not even close. I’ve been on a farm exactly three days of my life and I’ll happily not add any more to that.”

Varla’s face fell. “Oh, dear…let me try to explain. You see, I’m what you would call a cleric. That is my class. It is also my profession. My mother was a cleric and my father was a cleric. And my children are clerics. Your class is the farmer class.”

I swallowed. “No, I don’t have a class. It’s pending.” This hadn’t come up in my questions. “That’s because I haven’t chosen one, right?”

Varla shook her head. “It’s because you haven’t reached your first level. The body you currently reside in belonged to a farmer before he died and lost the experience he gained throughout his life. That means you will be a farmer.”

“Can I change my class?”

The cat’s chuckle returned to a full-body laugh.

The archbishop sighed. “Classes are hereditary. The only individuals who receive a class not inherited from one of their parents are adventurers. Everyone else must reach level 100 in their current class and acquire a second class.”

I could see the pitcher winding up. I’d gotten everything a gamer wanted so here was the curveball. “How hard is that?”

She shrugged. “A farmer does it in our kingdom a couple of times a year. I myself am level 74. I’d be higher, but I chose a quiet life of teaching rather than demon banishment.”

That didn’t sound too bad.

She looked like she was only a few years older than me. Their world hadn’t seen pro-gaming, the endless stats and power gaming sessions that could give someone an edge. Back home, I’d been our team’s tactician, which meant I was better than most at learning how to bend and break the rules. If she could reach level 74 by her age, then someone with my experience could do it in a whole lot less time. I could handle spending the next few years leveling my way to 100. And a 1,000 silver pieces would certainly accelerate the time frame. I could accomplish a lot in three years if I didn’t have to work.

“You didn’t tell me why I should agree to take the cat.”

The cat stopped laughing and hissed. “Who are you calling cat, human? I am a familiar. I am a being of power, intellect, and presence, and you…you dirty little cretin, should worship the ground I walk upon.”

Varla sighed. “Familiars are a living library of knowledge, this one more so than usual as he belonged to a wizard who was a couple of centuries old. He exists to help. It is in his nature. You could not find a better teacher to help you navigate your way through our world if you tried.”

“And all I have to do is agree to help hide him and not press charges against Damella?”

“Yes.” She stretched out her hand toward me, flashing me a very nice smile.

Archbishop Varla is offering to bestow her familiar’s mark upon you. Would you like to accept?

Yes/No?

I stared at the prompt for several seconds, undecided. There was opportunity here. Varla was giving me access to vast amounts of knowledge and learning. However, there were also risks involved. This strange talking cat was being hunted. She hadn’t outright stated it, but I got the feeling this was the sort of enemy most couldn’t deal with. “Demon lord” wasn’t exactly a phrase you would use to describe something that anyone could easily vanquish. However, she truly seemed to believe that we could hide from it and that it was the best option.

I wavered back and forth, but eventually accepted. It was as easy as focusing on the word and thinking Yes.

Congratulations, you have received a Familiar’s Mark.

Familiar’s Mark.

Level: ???

Effect: ???

I frowned, confused again. “Hey, why doesn’t it show an effect? I’ve got an effect from having the incarnate title. Why doesn’t this one do anything?”

The cat sighed. “It’s because you are an intellectually challenged farmer, not a wizard. Your class was never supposed to have access to my kind.”

The archbishop’s smile became a grin and she clapped her hands together happily. “Excellent, it worked. Now, Arnold, I have a good idea for a safe location where I can send you both. Would you like me to organise transport for you? It will draw less attention and the temple will cover the cost of travel.”

You are going on a journey and Archbishop Varla has offered to organise and fund this journey for you.

Would you like to fast travel?

Yes/No?

I chuckled at the prompt. Fast travel was one of the most cliché aspects of video games. You couldn’t play a sandbox RPG without running into it. The communication ring had to be glitching, mistranslating the words. There was no way this prompt was accurate.

I selected Yes, just so we could move the conversation forward.

2

A VILLAGE TO NOWHERE

The world spun. It was the kind of spinning you only experience when everything changes instantly, like when you’re a passenger in a car and you fall asleep without realising, waking somewhere drastically different. Top that sensation off with a hangover from a week-long bender and you will understand the kind of disorientation I was experiencing.

Congratulations, you have safely fast travelled to your destination.

A second ago, I’d been sitting in Varla’s office accepting her offer to organise my trip, laughing at the fast travel mistranslation. Now, I was in the back of an empty wagon, stolen from the Skyrim intro, outside a log warehouse that was surrounded by a whole lot of small log houses that looked like they came from a pioneering film set. Woodsmoke and manure filled my every breath along with a fair amount of something sour, making the experience uniquely horrible.

I grabbed my forehead and turned, trying to gain my bearings and limit my nausea and migraine. I spotted six more wagons in front of the one I occupied. They were all positioned at the edge of a large turning bay in front of the warehouse. The drivers were seated against the far warehouse wall sharing lunch, chatting, and making jokes.

Opposite the warehouse, across the dirt road, were more of the little log houses. I heard metal being hammered somewhere beyond the dwellings and could see a line of black smoke above the rooves. There were more houses to my left and a palisade and gate to my right. I was in some sort of medieval village—and a small one, judging by the size of the palisade I could see above the buildings.

What the hell was going on?

The prompt flashed one more time then began to fade.

Congratulations, you have safely fast travelled to your destination.

I finally read the prompt.

Oops.

It may not have been a mistranslation.

I blinked and checked my surroundings a second time. I was still in some random village.

Oh, shit.

The cat from the office leapt up onto the back of the wagon and casually jumped onto my lap, purring. I tensed as he steadied himself, remembering his snide, condescending attitude. He gazed up at me with wide, friendly eyes, before lifting his leg to put his little paw on my chest. He raised himself up and gently rubbed his face against my cheek, sliding warm soft fur against my skin.

Was this a different cat? This one didn’t seem like an asshole.

A whisper from a voice too deep for its size filled my ear.

“Do not reply and give me away. These fools believe I am a cat and we need it to stay that way. Collect your baggage and follow me out of the village. We need to talk in private before you open your foolish mouth and ruin anything further than you already have, you absolute imbecile.”

Okay, same cat.

The cat stepped away and leapt off the back of the wagon. I gave myself a shake, which didn’t help my nausea, and realised I wasn’t wearing the robes Varla had given me. Instead, I wore a scratchy shirt and trousers that looked like they came from a Goodwill reject pile. I added the change of clothes to the long list of things confusing me as I climbed to my feet.

It took a bit more effort to stand than I was used to. The previous owner of my body really should have eaten more salads or gone for a run once in a while. I was about fifty pounds heavier than I had ever been. I picked up the leather backpack, since it was the only item in the wagon with me, and threw it over my shoulder before climbing down.

The cat waited in the middle of the gate twenty yards away. I started walking towards him, dazed by the situation. I hope he had some answers.

The young guard sitting in the tower to the side of the gate looked down as I approached and snorted. “Not even here for five minutes and you’re leaving.” He chuckled at his own joke. “I don’t blame you, Arnold. It’s a smart decision.”

I focused on the guard in the tower the way Varla taught me to less than an hour ago. Words appeared above his head.

Guardsman Brill

I read his class and name. While floating words had seemed kind of cool to start with, it was quickly losing its power to inspire wonder. What I was seeing was basically just a fancy name tag. I was used to wearing one at tournaments, having strangers knowing my name, so this was no different than that.

The guard didn’t seem to care if I replied. I grunted a response and kept walking, trying to organise my feelings. I’d been in this world for less than three hours, and before I received the ring I hadn’t been able to communicate with anyone. First I was angry and confused, and then I was excited and confused, now I was just confused. Confused was good. Confused kept me distracted. It stopped me from being overwhelmed by the reality of my situation.

Just beyond the gate were dozens of tiny log cabins, even less impressive than those inside the village. I could see thirty or so people working in vegetable fields, tending crops. Every one of them looked like they had seen better days. They wore clothes that were threadbare with signs of mending. Many of the youngest children didn’t even have those. Instead, they ran around clothed in sacks stamped with some sort of company name in a language that didn’t make sense.

It was all just a bit too much. I dropped my gaze, shutting out the world around me, and followed the cat out the gate in search of answers.

* * *

“Once again, it is left up to me to pull the poor human out of their ignorance,” the cat said, deep voice rumbling as it finally broke its silence. It looked at me and then flicked its tail disdainfully.

We’d followed the outer wall around the village to the far side, where there were only a few dozen houses pressed up against the palisade and a flat grassy plain that stretched for miles before stopping at a forest. An old dirt road cut through the centre of it all, passing under the closed second gate in one direction and heading towards the distant forest in the other. The cat had scampered down it toward the forest without saying a word, taking us past burnt-out barns and houses until we were more than a mile from the village.

He hadn’t answered any of my whispered questions or spoken until now, which was probably why my response wasn’t the politest. “What the hell happened to me, cat? Wait, first of all, where am I?”

The cat glared at me. “I’m going to ignore the cat comment this time since you are clearly distressed, but do not test my patience. I am not your pet. I am not your cat. I am a familiar. And you are not my equal. Remember that.”

“Ah, sorry, let me rephrase that. What the hell happened to me, familiar?”

The familiar’s glare intensified. “You, oh ignorant one, decided to accept the archbishop’s offer to fast travel. This is the village of Blackwood, more than ten weeks’ travel from where we were.”

I frowned. Ten weeks’ travel. I did ten weeks’ travel in the blink of an eye. Damn, that was kind of cool. My frown turned into a stupid grin.

“So we like, teleported here?”

In retrospect, I probably should have asked if the prompt was a mistranslation before accepting. But how the hell could I have known fast travel was real? It seemed too far-fetched to consider it anything more than a joke.

“We…like…did nothing of the sort. For the past ten weeks, I have had to sit next to your vacant gaze as we travelled to the far edge of the kingdom.”

“Huh, we travelled here?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you said we fast travelled.”

“I said you fast travelled.”

The stupid grin fell away as quickly as it appeared. I blinked, trying to draw some form of logic from his statement that fit with my life experience. I didn’t find any. Our puzzle pieces didn’t match. “You’re confusing me.”

The familiar chuckled, dropping the hostility. “You need to become used to that feeling now if you wish to save yourself from added distress.”

“Just tell me what happened.”

“Fine, I’ll explain,” he said, rolling his eyes. “From your perspective, no time passed between the moment you accepted the archbishop’s offer and the moment you arrived at your destination. She decided to give you an easier route, letting you ignore the discomforts of life—at the cost of it.”

That sounded bad.

“What do you mean, ‘at the cost of it’?”

The familiar started to roll its eyes, but then sighed instead. “It took you ten weeks to get here. Those are ten weeks you will never get back. In other words, you have utterly wasted ten weeks of your life. Ten weeks in which I could have been educating you. Now we are at the edge of nowhere, on the other side of the kingdom, and you are just as dangerously ignorant of how you will function here as you were when we departed.”

I looked around, taking in the sad scattered details of abandoned farmhouses and barns, which were mostly burnt-out husks in the late stages of collapse. The fat herds of cattle and sheep roaming the plains were less sad, but even they were few and far between.

I turned my gaze further afield, looking to the dense wild forest that was so overgrown you couldn’t see more than fifty feet into it. Beyond it to the north and south, past any sign of civilisation, lay a line of jagged hills slowly curving east. The hills went as far as I could see before disappearing over the horizon.

The view was not to my taste. I definitely didn’t know how to function in this type of environment. This could be a problem. “Couldn’t we have gone somewhere less depressing and rustic?”

The familiar nodded. “Certainly, and that was my plan, but like an utter fool you went and fell for the archbishop’s manipulation.”

I blame the high level of disorientation for my slowness because the scope of what he said finally hit me. “Wait, stop. Are you saying Varla intentionally made me lose ten weeks of my life?”

“Yes. Obviously you can’t do this to someone accidentally. Varla knew you wouldn’t know what fast travel was, so she made the offer. Having you fast travel allowed her to secretly whisk you away, establishing a clean escape through hidden passages without compromising the integrity of their security. It was done for our benefit as much as hers. And while I can understand the necessity, it means we must make up the time we lost.”

I stared horrified. First I died, now this. “Are you really going to wave away the fact that Varla cost me ten weeks of my life?” I asked through gritted teeth, trying not to yell.

He nodded. “Yes. There is no point arguing over the incident or throwing blame. You were ignorant of what fast travel entailed and she needed security. Her manipulation—while cruel—was necessary. And your idiocy for succumbing to that manipulation, thereby leaving me babysitting you for ten weeks is forgivable, because you were ignorant of what fast travel means.”

His tone near the end contradicted his words. His tone suggested the forgiveness he claimed to feel towards me might not actually be forgiveness, but a mantra he repeatedly told himself. A mantra that basically said that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t hold my ignorance against me. But he really wanted to. So much so that he couldn’t hide his feelings.

Note to self: for a healthy relationship with the cat, never admit that I might have known what fast travel was before I accepted. Even if, it was only an inkling. “Couldn’t you have done something?” My new question held less anger than the last.

He shook his head. “Once you agreed to fast travel, I had no control over your destination. As I said, you are dangerously ignorant of our world. That is why I intend to lock you away in the inn and fix this. To do even that, I must give you enough knowledge to answer questions even an ignorant incarnate would know.”

“Like the name of this village.”

“Exactly. Now, before you enact some other foolish action which leaves you comatose for the rest of your days, let us have a frank discussion on what you do and do not know.”

The cat’s condescending tone was seriously annoying me. “I’m not an idiot.”

He sighed and somehow managed to facepalm with a paw. “Perhaps not, but you are ignorant to a dangerous degree. Our first priority while we are here is to remain inconspicuous. You must not draw attention to us. My enemies could kill you with a wave of their hand if they find you before they are dealt with.”

“Fine, what do I need to know to stay safe?”

“For now, it is easier if you let me ask the questions. What was your level of education where you came from? Please tell me you could at least read and write.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I can read and write.”

“You mean, you could read and write. The only reason we can converse is because of the ring you wear. Our languages are not the same, and that ring does not apply to written text outside of the prompts you receive.”

Shit. I hadn’t thought about that…but then again, it’s not like I’d had a lot of time to consider any of these issues. I was being constantly bombarded by new revelations. “Okay, fair enough, I could read and write. I could do mathematics…which I’m guessing might be a bit different here too.”

“Let me simplify the question. How many years have you studied for?”

I could answer that. “Between the ages of five and eighteen.”

“So thirteen years, during your developmental period. You would barely be a novice if you were a wizard child, but as a farmer, you are quite educated. That is good because you are going to have to study our world if you want to succeed.”

I blinked, looking around at the medieval setting I’d found myself in. “You know about developmental periods?”

“Yes, as Varla said, you are not unique as an incarnate. We have several appear each year in our kingdom alone. If you have any area of expertise from your world that you can pass onto ours, you could find yourself becoming a very wealthy man. But before we talk about that, we need to establish your cover.”

“Okay. What do I call you if someone asks?”

The familiar froze like a cat who had been spooked. After a few seconds, it gave itself a shake and took a slow breath. “I had an alias with Varla, but she chose not to tell you so you would not accidentally give me away. You must choose a new one.”

“Why can’t you just tell me your name?”

“I am a familiar,” he said slowly. “We cannot share our name, even a false name. It is part of our nature. You will have to choose for me…but if you dare call me Soot or Mittens, I will kill you in your sleep.”

I didn’t even have to think about it. He was a sassy, angry, talking black cat that belonged to a wizard. “I’ll call you Salem.”

Salem tilted his head to the side in thought before nodding. “That sounds acceptable, but why that name?”

“It’s what you remind me of. Salem is the name of a warlock from a show I watched with my sister as a kid. He was turned into a black cat for five hundred years as punishment.”

Salem chuckled. “Yes, your presence certainly is a punishment. I like the comparison. Now that that is sorted, there are a few simple things you must know before we return and secure a room at the local inn. As I said, this village is called Blackwood. It is the north-easternmost village in the kingdom. That forest in front of us is The Wild Woods. Three years ago, an army of goblins stormed out of it and invaded the village, killing most of the villagers. Those that survived and still remain are too poor to leave. Blackwood has few villagers and little trade. There is almost no chance of us being discovered here if we are careful. Now, I developed a backstory for you that is quite simple to follow. If anyone asks you where you were incarnated, tell them it was in Welk, in the Brotherless Monastery.”

“Why there?”

“The monastery is a sanctuary. They do not say who is or has ever been inside their walls. However, they keep the law as well as any other temple.”

“Welk, Brotherless Monastery. Got it. What else?”

“You have been there for three years learning about our world which is the longest you can take sanctuary there. You haven’t acclimated well to being incarnate. So when it came time for you to leave, you decided to go somewhere that was remote and sparsely populated to ease yourself into life outside.”

“Okay, that’s pretty simple as far as a backstory goes.”

“It was what I thought you could handle in a short space of time. The 1,000 silver pieces is at the bottom of your backpack. There is a smaller, less conspicuous purse near the top. Use that to pay the bill at the inn. Do not pull out the larger purse where others can see, or freely offer up the information that you are incarnate. We do not need that sort of attention. However, those with higher intelligence and class abilities will be able to see what you are regardless of whether or not you advertise. When they bring it up, do not deny it.”

I pulled my backpack off and started riffling through it. “Do I have anything else besides this pack?”

“No.”

I found the small purse under some dirty changes of clothes, and opened it, looking inside. There were several dozen hexagonal silver coins and hundreds of copper. “What’s the conversion rate for currency?”

“I was about to cover that. Fifty coppers pieces make a silver noble and there are hundred silver nobles to a gold crown. A bar of gold is equal to a hundred crowns.”

I picked up a copper piece and experienced an indescribable sensation. “This feels weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t feel like I’m holding copper. But it also does feel like copper. No, that’s not right. It feels like it has the potential to be copper.” I dropped the coin back in the purse and wiped my hand on my trousers. “Something about that coin is wrong.”

Salem sighed again. “Nothing about the coin is wrong. You are simply feeling its magical potential, like anyone can. If you pick up a silver noble you will notice that the feeling is stronger.”

I picked up a silver noble. The feeling that the coin wasn’t a coin returned, and it was stronger this time, just like he said. I dropped it back into the purse. “Why do you have weird feeling coins?”

“Do you need me to explain how our economy works right this minute or can you wait until we have a room in the inn?”

“Just tell me why they are weird.”

Salem sighed. He seemed to do that a lot. “Do you study physics in your world?” His tone had turned patronizing and peevish.

“Yes.”

“Do you understand the concept of potential energy—such as when you lift a stone off the ground it holds the potential energy to return it to the ground?”

“Yes.”

“Think of the coins you are holding as potential magical energy. It is waiting in that state to be converted into something else.”

“Like what?”

“The village behind us is a simple example. Establishing it cost the potential magical energy trapped within 25,000 gold crowns. Once that energy was expended the coins vanished. Each level of expansion cost additional gold.”

I frowned. “How do you still have money if your coins keep disappearing?”

“There are classes that create currency and classes that use it, so the sum total of all the coins in the kingdom fluctuates. On good years, people produce more coins than they use. When this has happened for several consecutive years the kingdom can try to expand. That’s how villages like Blackwood are built. Sometimes the kingdom recuperates its investment, and other times, like here, for instance, they lose it. Now, that is all an overly simplified version of how the system actually functions, but it is all the time we have to discuss this. We need to get a room at the inn.”

“Why are you so grouchy?”

Salem glared at me. “I am grouchy because your ignorance has taken me to a backwater level three village in the middle of nowhere. There is no library, no restaurants, no theatre, and there isn’t a teleportation circle anywhere within half a week’s travel. I have access to none of the comforts of civilisation. And now you can’t even do a simple task like securing us a room at the inn so I can educate you the way I should have been doing for the past ten weeks. That is why I am grouchy.”

That was fair, I guess.

“Okay, let’s get a room.”

We turned around and started walking back to the village. Now that I knew the village's history, I could understand why so much of everything looked abandoned, why every structure was almost pressed up against the palisade. The people here were scared.

I’d been through a ghost town with my parents when I was a kid. The factory in the town had closed forty years earlier and most people had left. There were abandoned houses and empty shops. This reminded me a lot of that.

The guard in the tower smiled when we walked back through the gate. “How was the tour of the village?”

“Short,” I said.

He chuckled. “Well, that is because we have plenty of opportunity for expansion.”

“More than most places. I’m looking for an inn.”

“You will only find the one. The other closed last year. Just go to the main square and you will see it. Gretel might be a village appointed innkeeper, but she runs a good place, cheap one too.”

“Thanks, Brill.”

“You are welcome, Arnold.”

The village inside the wall was barely two hundred yards from start to finish. A massive warehouse was to the left of the gate, with what looked like workshops to the right. I could hear hammering coming from behind some houses and saw a sign that had a hammer hitting an anvil. I took a wild guess and figured it was probably a smithy.

Salem led me down the main street. The outer industrial area gave way to housing and a few small shops. Most of the shops were closed, however, the entrances boarded up. The line of abandoned buildings gave way to a large open square that was cobbled.

There was a fountain in the middle with clean, clear water. A building that looked like it might be a guard’s barracks sat on the far side. A boarded-up wooden temple with a faded yellow serpent image above the entrance was on the left side of the square, and a large stone house—which was very nearly a manor with its own wall and iron gate—was on the right. The inn was the building closest to the gate. It had three floors with whitewash weatherboarding and a thatched roof.

I only knew that it was the inn because Salem headed straight for the door, pressing his shoulder against the wood to indicate we needed to go inside.

I entered what could easily have been mistaken for an Irish pub. There were a lot of polished dark wooden panels and furniture. Opposite the door was a bar with a wall of bottles behind it and a countertop that had seen better days. Between that and the door were tables and chairs. A large fireplace sat along one wall, and a small stage sat against the other, beside a staircase that led to higher levels. Apart from the lanterns fixed to the walls, the interior looked almost modern.

A cougar of a woman stood behind the bar reading a book. She had curly red hair with a touch of grey and a few freckles on her cheeks. She looked up and smiled at me as I closed the door. She had a dress that was a tad too tight and a neckline that was invitingly low. She was eyeing me up more than I was her. “Welcome to Gretel’s Inn. I’m the illustrious Gretel. How may I be of service, Arnold?”

I crossed the room. “I need a room for a few nights for me and Salem.” I nodded to the familiar to show who I was talking about.

Gretel’s smile faltered as I got closer and she dropped the flirtatious tone. “The cat is welcome, but if you are staying in my inn, you will need to have a bath before you use my sheets.”

The cleanliness of the place and her comments made me notice that the sour smell, which had been following me around, didn’t belong to the village, but was in fact me.

My smile went a little shaky. “A bath would be great. Do you have a bucket and some soap that I could use to wash my clothes? And maybe somewhere to hang them up?”

“I can have your clothes laundered for you…but if you are a bit tight on funds to pay the five coppers, I can sell you a bar of soap for three and lend you a wash bucket and show you where to get some water.”

“I’ll take the bar of soap. How much do I owe you?”

“A room costs eleven coppers a night, which includes breakfast. A hot bath will cost you three coppers. A cold bath will cost you two. Our water comes from a deep well, so I suggest the hot. Dinner is five coppers, but that includes a couple of ales. House ale is one copper a jug which is a passable local brew. If you want something branded, that will set you back a copper a tankard.”

“So, twenty-eight coppers for two nights, a hot bath, and a bar of soap,” I said before she could list off any more prices.

Gretel smiled. “I took you for a farmer.”

I tried to hide my disappointment. “I am a farmer.”

“That’s a surprise—most of the ones around here can’t add in their heads. That puts you a step above the locals.”

I nodded as I put my backpack down and opened the leather buckles to get inside. I’d tucked my smaller purse back under the dirty clothes which I noticed smelled even worse than the ones I was wearing.

I counted out twenty-eight coppers and handed them over.

Gretel counted them again and then put them in her apron pocket. “I can show you to your room…or I can show you where you can do your laundry while I fix that bath? I strongly suggest the second.”

I glanced down at Salem. He was glaring at me. Glancing at him, however, brought my nose closer to my armpit—which chose for me. “Laundry first.”

A sharp pain burned my ankle and I looked down to see Salem pulling back his mouth from a nasty bite.

Gretel eyed Salem uncertainly. “Is he always like that?” I could hear the hesitation in her tone.

“No, he just hates water and recognises most of the words associated with it,” I said, fumbling through a lie. “He’ll behave once I’ve finished my laundry and have bathed.”

“He’d better. This way.”

Gretel led me to a hallway at the back of the inn. Halfway down, I froze. There was a map of North America on the wall that went from floor to ceiling. Varla had repeatedly told me I was in another universe, a different version of Earth than where I came from, but that hadn’t made its way into reality the way seeing this map did. I was looking at North America, but everything about it was wrong. A forest took up almost the entire centre and east coast of the continent. The only signs of civilisation in the north were along the west coast near the ocean. Texas and Mexico contained hundreds of cities making up the bulk of the kingdom, but everything else had a “here be dragons” vibe to it, with names like The Widows Mountains and The Valley of Tears.

Gretel saw why I had stopped and walked back. She pointed to a red dot of paint that might have been in the northeastern part of Oregon or maybe Washington—though the topography certainly didn’t match. Judging by the ring of hills, it looked like the dot was on the inner edge of a giant meteor crater, which explained the two lines of jagged hills I’d seen beyond the forest.

“That’s us.” She moved her finger a couple of hundred miles north through a forest into what would have been Washington or Canada. “That’s the elven border.” She then followed a series of mountains I couldn’t name. “The western dwarven mountain kingdoms.”

She waved me over to the next map.

This one was more detailed and mostly showed Oregon and the crater area. It also had a series of hexagons overlaying everything that kind of reminded me of Settlers of Catan, D&D, and a few older video games I’d played. She pointed to a small village surrounded by forest in the northeastern section again. A small path seemed to cut through the forest and ring of hills to the village.

“That’s us. I know it looks like we are close to those hedonistic elves on the other map, but we’re actually quite far away. Now, if you look over here, you will see a map of the village.” She led me to the next map. This one showed the village dead centre in the middle of a hexagon. There were houses, barns, every last little detail. “This is what we used to look like before the attack. For decades this map hung in the main room, being updated as Blackwood changed, but it depresses me to look at now.”

Looking at the map, I could see what the village had been like. Salem and I had apparently walked east when we’d gone outside the village. There had been over a hundred farms there. Now there was only a few dozen against the wall. The same was true for the north and south sides of the village. The only place that looked similar to how it was now was the western side, and a quarter of that was a small woods.

“I can tell you about the village’s history over dinner if you are interested,” Gretel offered.

Salem pulled at my trouser leg with his mouth.

I glanced down and then back at the innkeeper. “Maybe in a few days, once I’m washed and settled.”

She smiled and tapped her forehead theatrically. “Right, the washing. Follow me.”

She turned and headed for the door at the end of the hallway. It connected to the back of the inn, where there was a large open area next to the stable. She found me a new bar of harsh-smelling soap and a wash bucket, and showed me the washing line and where to get water, and then she left me to it.

Over my lacklustre gaming career, I’d stayed at my fair share of discount motels, places where the washing machines and fridges didn’t work, so cleaning my clothes with a bar of soap in a bathroom sink wasn’t exactly a new experience for me. I quickly began working the smell and stains out of the first of the two changes of clothes stored in my pack.

As I finished the first set, a prompt appeared, and a halo of light surrounded me, making me glow like a Christmas tree.

Well done, you have successfully cleaned a set of clothing to a fine standard with a wash bucket and gained a new tool proficiency. You can now boast that you can use a wash bucket as well as any Novice.

Salem scowled at me, looked around, saw nobody, and then scowled at me some more.

For a second, I almost told him that I didn’t know that the whole tool proficiency thing was going to happen simply by cleaning clothes, but then I realised that my ignorance was precisely why he wanted to talk to me alone in the first place, and I’d be supporting his argument. So I wisely said, “Sorry,” and then shut up.

* * *

“So, basically, don’t accept any prompt that will make things too easy for me. If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is,” I said quietly as I soaked away weeks’ worth of grime. The tub was surprisingly big and the small bar of soap Gretel had sold me held a pleasant aroma, compared to the one I’d used on my clothes.

Salem sighed. “If you need to dumb it down, then yes: if it seems too good to be true then it probably is. There are exceptions, of course, but it will take time for me to teach you the nuances of how everything works.”

“How much time?”

“Three days should be enough that you don’t accidentally kill yourself or others, but it will take weeks for a proper understanding of the basics.”

I nodded my head. “So, in three days, I can go out and start training to reach level 100. Do you have any pointers?”

“Don’t bother. Varla didn’t directly lie to you, but she didn’t give you the whole truth. The only farmers that ever reach 100 have old family money or are somehow useful to a nobleman or merchant. No one makes it on their own. To gather that much experience by yourself would take two lifetimes, and the cost of purchasing the experience is more than a farmer can earn in ten.”

“Wait, you can buy experience?”

“Of course that’s the only part you heard. And to answer your question, yes you can buy experience. I’ll explain why when we get to my lecture on leveling. And before you ask, you don’t have nearly enough money to purchase the experience required to get you to 100. At the bare minimum, it will cost you 2,500 gold crowns, and no one sells experience for the bare minimum.”

“What about the fact that I’m an incarnate? You said we sometimes bring information from our world that is quite valuable in yours. Maybe I can make money that way?”

“That is a possibility. What did you do for employment in your world?”

“Well, for the last six months, I’ve been studying economics and accounting, but before that, I was a semi-pro gamer for nine years.”

“What is a semi-pro gamer?”

“It means I was paid to play games.”

“And you think that will help you make money in our world?”

“Well, your laws kind of sound like what we would call ‘mechanics’ in some of the games I used to play. It was sort of my job to understand those mechanics and learn how to take advantage of them, finding weaknesses that could be used to my team’s advantage.”

“Ah, in our world, the scholar class fills this function. They study each class, finding each method for gaining experience more easily, and sell that information to the class they specialise in.”

“We have a thing called walkthroughs that people read to do the same thing. But what I’m talking about is more specialised. It was my job to find ways no one had ever thought of doing something, adding weird quirks together to create unexpected results.”

“Oh, you were an exploitationist. That can be quite profitable if you are successful.”

“How profitable?”

“Very in some cases; exploitationists receive a 25% experience bonus when anyone uses their method to gain experience. Of course, that will only apply to your class, as you cannot receive experience from another class.”

“That’s what I will do then.”

“You will fail. Scholars and exploitationists have devoted centuries to discovering new ways of gaining experience. New methods for exploitation are now all small discoveries, and rare.”

“Alright, maybe I won’t do that. So we’ll hang out in our room for a few days while you teach me the basics and then we can go buy a few weapons and start leveling.”

Salem sighed again. “Why do you need weapons?”

“To kill monsters.”

“And why are you planning to kill monsters?”

“So I can level.”

“Of course, it is so obvious. Except you are neither a hunter, a warrior, or an adventurer, so killing monsters will gain you nothing but the loot they drop.”

I stared at Salem over the edge of the tub. “What…are you saying I can’t level by killing monsters?”

“What part of the class farmer indicates to you that you should be slaying monsters?”

The uneasy feeling was returning. I could sense the curveball. “No, no, no…you get experience from killing monsters. It’s the rules.”

“Perhaps in your world, but here, in our world, farmers gain experience by farming. This includes the planting of crops and the raising of livestock, but not the slaying of monsters.”

I scowled at Salem. “Bullshit. You’ve got three days to teach me the basics and then we are going monster hunting.”

3

A SHORT WALK INTO MADNESS

The Beaten Anvil was the only remaining smithy in Blackwood. It was located about as far from the main square as you could possibly go without stepping into farmland. That put it just across the road from the village warehouse.

I trudged down the side road, past a pair of empty houses following the sounds of hammering. I wasn’t in a good mood. I wasn’t depressed—I’d stared into that abyss, and this wasn’t that. But I wasn’t right. It had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t getting much sleep, but that also wasn’t everything.

I stepped around the corner to yet another disappointment. The Beaten Anvil wouldn’t have impressed anyone. There was a thatched roof over the forge to keep the rain off and two stone walls that only seemed to be there as a windbreak. The forge’s furnace sat in the middle of the structure with a tall chimney that puffed black smoke. There was an anvil on either side with two sets of bellows behind. Eight people were working.

A man and woman stood at separate anvils banging away at what looked like a hoe and a wood axe. They weren’t forging them from raw steel but merely reforming damaged blades brought in from larger, more complicated forges. The pair had to be the owners, Quinn and Ava, Gretel had told me about, which made the six mismatched youths their adopted children.

The oldest two, a boy and girl, were in their late teens, which meant they had the fun job of working the bellows. They weren’t eighteen yet, so I couldn’t see their names when I focused on them. Gretel had told me their names while talking about the village’s residents, but I’d been told so many others that I couldn’t remember them. Another two girls, around twelve years old, were polishing a piece of copper that might have been a mirror when finished.

A small boy, no more than six, wearing a worn cloth flour sack as his clothing, saw me approach. He dropped the ball he was playing with and gave it a kick. With a small scowl, he walked up to me and sniffed, wiping his runny nose on the back of his arm, before scratching the mop of curly blonde locks on his head. “Welcome to The Beaten Anvil,” he said squeakily. “What do you want?”

“It’s ‘how may I be of assistance,’” shouted a girl only a few years older than him, working a knife blade across a rotating stone wheel.

The little greeter scowled and turned to the girl. “That’s what I said, stupid.” Then he turned to Ava. “Mom, she’s doing it again.” When Ava didn’t immediately reply, he stomped off in a sulk, forgetting me.

Ava shook her head as she worked away at the glowing axe head. “I’m sorry. I’m a little busy. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

Everyone was working with the kind of intensity that told me I’d come at a bad time. The sound of bellows and clang of worked metal chased rhythmic patterns through the air as I waited for someone to take a rest.

After a few minutes, Ava put the axe head back into the fire and came over, wiping her hands on her apron. “Sorry about my youngest. He wants to help, but he’s still a bit too young.” She held out her hand. “I’m Ava and this is The Beaten Anvil. What can we do for you, Arnold?”

“I’m looking for a spear, a machete, and your cheapest sword,” I said. “Gretel told me this is the place to go if I didn’t want to get ripped off.”

She smiled. “Well, Gretel was right. Do you want them new or are you happy with second-hand?”

“Second-hand is fine so long as they have at least 80% of their durability left. The sword can be the oldest you’ve got lying around.”

“Planning on playing a little bit of farmer’s sword,” she said cheerfully.

“Something like that.” It had taken Salem four days, not three, to beat the basics into me, mostly because I’d fought him on several points. Since I wasn’t getting much sleep some of what he said sounded utterly absurd. So many things about this world didn’t make sense. The idea that I couldn’t go out and kill some basic monsters for experience, but an adventurer could, was ridiculous. And I refused to take his word on it.

The sword was another one of those stupid rules. Farmers couldn’t wield swords or weapons, like at all. Apparently, they would buck in our hand, throwing themselves out of our grasp. The arrogant furry asshole claimed that it was a common drinking game for farmers to see how long they could hold on for before they lost their grip. The fact that Ava had just said the same did not improve my mood or change my plans. I needed to see this for myself to believe it.

“Well, we have everything you want in the storage room. If you let me take your measurements, I can see what’s the closest to your size. They’ve been sitting there for a few years, so I’ll sell them to you at base.”

Base meant she would sell everything for the lowest price she could, without haggling for extra. Their economy was another weird concept to get my head around. Every good had a fixed base price which you couldn’t sell below. If you tried to, you would find your item falling apart within days or food spoiling in hours. Whoever received the coin would find something similarly unpleasant happening to their wealth. That’s why most profits came through the merchant skill, which altered how much you could haggle.

Skills like the merchant skill that allowed you to haggle were a watered-down version of the class they represented. And when I say watered-down I mean watered-down. The class and skill systems leveled identically, with the skill system requiring the exact same amount of time and effort as the class they came from, without the fun shortcut of being able to purchase and use experience generated by others. You would think that having to do the same amount of work to level would give you similar benefits, but you only received a few of the base benefits of the class, and even with all those restrictions not every class could acquire every skill. Farmers, for example, couldn’t acquire the swordsman skill. The only good part about the whole skill leveling systems, that I could see, was that if you reached level 100 and took a second class, which you already possessed the skill for, then the skill’s experience would change to class experience and automatically level your second class to whatever your skill level was before the change, unless some other rule interfered. Unfortunately, there were plenty of rules that interfered.

So haggling was where everyone made their extra money, but even that had rules. Thankfully, the village was in a bad enough way that she was ignoring those rules. Otherwise I would have been fleeced.

“That works for me,” I said.

* * *

For the hundredth time, the battered old sword kicked itself out of my hand and fell, landing on the forest floor. It had happened so many times that Salem had stopped laughing at me.

I shook my hand, clearing away the new round of pins and needles. I still wasn’t ready to admit that I couldn’t wield a sword. It didn’t make sense that just because of my class, I wouldn’t be able to. That wasn’t how things worked. A sword was a sword. And a person was a person. If it worked for Jack then it should work for Jim.

I mean, speaking from a purely physics line of reasoning, where the hell was the energy that threw the sword from my grasp coming from? What was creating it? It wasn’t like I had some mental block that wouldn’t allow me to pick it up. The sword physically didn’t want to stay in my hand. Something was actively trying to force it out. I mean if this was a full immersion VR game this might make sense. But this wasn’t a game. I was in another world. Something I couldn’t see was physically stopping me. The energy expenditure to stop me from doing something so trivial was insane.

“I am all for testing a theory, but what you are doing is now bordering on insanity,” Salem said, his tone bored.

“I’m not insane. This is insane. I can use the machete just fine. I got novice proficiency in less than an hour after cutting through that tree, so why can’t I use a sword? They’re basically the same thing. How can one work and the other not?”

Salem stood up from where he’d been lying on a fallen tree log, stretched, and then lay back down, intentionally making me wait for an answer.

He yawned, showing teeth. “Now, let me first point out that I am completely ignoring the stupidity of your question while humouring you. Comparing a machete and a sword is like comparing a man and a woman. You seem to expect that because they are a similar shape and come from similar materials, they are the same thing, but one can produce babies and the other can’t. A machete is a tool that can be used as a weapon. A sword is a weapon that can be used as a tool if you are desperate. They are similar, but not the same. You are a farmer. You work with tools. A warrior works with weapons. This is the way things are.”

“Well, the way things are is stupid.”

Salem rolled his eyes. “Of course, in a fair universe, you would be recognised for your greatness, and dozens of beautiful woman would flock to your side begging for you to take them…You sound like a child. The world is the way the world is. You need to learn its rules and master them if you want to be successful.”

“I don’t want to be a farmer.” I unconsciously added extra emphasis to my words, unable to disguise my anger.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I did not realise I was talking to the first person who was ever unhappy with what life offered them. How can I be more considerate? I know, why don’t you pick up the sword? I’m sure it will work this time. I’m sure it won’t buck out of your hand like it has the hundred other times.”

I growled. “Fine, we can try something else. You said you could track monsters. Let’s go kill something.”

“Oh, goody. Another pointless enterprise.” Salem rolled his eyes one more time. He glanced around, scanning The Wild Woods, the forest on the eastern border of Blackwood, and then looked pointedly at me. “Stay here until I return, and please try to remember you are a farmer. Practically everything in here wants to eat you.” Then he turned without waiting for my reply and ran farther into the forest.

“Screw you,” I said, bringing up the stats.

Looking at my stats almost made me scream.

I was so basic.

I thought about opening up one of the other pages, but most of them were even emptier. I had no skills, and only two tool proficiencies—and one of those was a wash bucket. I had gained about a dozen lore proficiencies from listening to Salem, but all of those were only novice rank. A child knew more than I did.

I was painfully in need of more information.

From my gaming experience, I knew that all systems held a flaw, something you could exploit. I just needed to find the one in this system. No system was perfectly balanced. Everyone screwed up. Only…the damn familiar refused to admit there were any flaws.

I dismissed my stats and checked over my weapons one last time, hoping they had somehow improved.

They hadn’t.

I picked up the spear, feeling the weight and touch of wood against my fingers, and began practicing my lunge, hoping to finally get my novice proficiency.

At least spears weren’t class restricted. However, I could only get the tool version of the proficiency, not the weapon version. Salem claimed that was actually a good thing as tool proficiencies were significantly easier to obtain than weapon proficiencies. And I wanted the proficiency. The moment I’d received the novice version for the machete, holding it had felt more natural.

The same went for lore proficiencies. The moment I’d received the novice rank, my comprehension of the subject felt clearer. Thankfully, these were even easier to obtain than tool proficiencies, but they scaled completely different. Getting novice rank only took fifteen minutes for most subjects, but after that, reaching the initiate rank could take anywhere from another hour to several weeks. The ranks after that grew proportionally harder. Less than 10% of lore had been mastered by anyone, and those that had were all sub-categories of more complex fields and were outside my reach without years of study.

Tool proficiencies, thankfully, weren’t. Most only took a few months of intentional practice or extenuating circumstances to reach expert.

Fifteen minutes later, Salem padded into the clearing and said, “I have found something you can handle.”

I tried another lunge, stabbing my spear into an imaginary target. Keeping active was the only thing stopping me from screaming in frustration. “You sure it’s at my level? You said the monsters in this forest are strong. I don’t want to fight a bear.”

“I said the monsters in this forest can be strong. There are exceptions. And yes, I am certain you can win a battle against a giant mosquito.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad.” I lowered my spear and turned to Salem. “Lead the way.”

After ten minutes of tramping through the woods, stepping over roots and pushing aside branches, Salem had me drop to the ground and crawl across the forest floor to sneak up on what was, basically, a big mosquito. Damp soil and rotting wood filled my nostrils as we made our way closer. The stupid monster was so small I couldn’t even spot it until I was ten yards away.

Salem waited as I read the description.

“How many are there?” I whispered, staring at the palm-sized mosquito that I could see.

“Three, I will distract them while you take them out.”

“What if more come?”

“They won’t. There is no swamp nearby. These three are lost, probably blown here during the last storm. Now, follow me.”

Salem leapt, crossing ten yards in the time it took me to blink, pouncing on the back of the nearest oversized mosquito. The giant insect hit the ground, with the cat landing on top of it. Salem immediately leapt for the next, slamming into it before it had even realised something had happened to the first. The third caught onto the danger and tried to dive-bomb him, only for him to move out of the way with casual ease.

Salem turned to where I lay stunned and gave me a look of utter contempt while leaping around and battering all three mosquitoes into a disoriented state. He was like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. “Are you going to do anything?”

I scowled back at him as I got to my feet, clutching my spear.

This wasn’t my first experience killing a wild animal. My father had grown up in the country and didn’t like the idea of me and my sister missing out on some of his experiences just because we lived in the city. We still went fishing as a family a couple of times a year. He’d taught me how to rip the gills out of a fish’s throat by the time I was six and I could gut and clean one so it looked like you’d bought it from the shop by the time I was eight. We’d even gone rabbit shooting a couple of times at my aunt’s, so I knew how to dress those too. I wasn’t an avid hunter, but I knew where my food came from and what was required to get it onto my plate.

I planted my boot so I wouldn’t trip over on the uneven ground and then charged the insects.

The little buggers were fast, and I was never the most coordinated in my high school class, but their attention was focused on Salem, so even though I missed a few times, pretty soon, I landed my first hit, killing the mosquito instantly. As the giant mosquito twitched on the end of my spear, a satisfying prompt appeared.

Well done, you have successfully killed a Giant Mosquito with a spear and gained a new tool proficiency. You can now boast that you can use a spear as well as any Novice.

The spear suddenly felt a little more natural in my grip, the way the machete had after I used it to cut down a tree.

I grinned and charged the remaining mosquitoes.

The fight lasted less than a minute, an embarrassingly long time considering the situation. I was basically fighting large bugs.

The dead mosquitoes lay in pieces as small green orbs began to appear above their bodies the way Salem had described when he was explaining everything at the inn. I reached out for the nearest loot orb. The moment my hand came into contact, a prompt appeared.

Well done, you have killed three Giant Mosquitoes. Would you like to loot their bodies for items and experience?

Yes/No?

I knew from Salem’s instructions that it was safe to accept, but I still cringed as I did so. It had taken a couple of days for me to understand just how big of a mistake fast travelling had been. It wasn’t just that I’d lost ten weeks of my life; it was that it could have been more. If Varla had set the location to somewhere I couldn’t reach, I never would have come out of the state. Now, I was more than a little wary of accepting new prompts.

You have found:

Giant Mosquito Stinger x3

I pulled up my experience tracker. I only needed one point of experience to become a level 1 farmer.

0/1 experience to next level.

“That’s bullshit,” I said.

“I told you—farmers do not gain experience from killing monsters,” Salem replied.

I pulled up my logs.

Combat end:

Giant Mosquito x3 Located, looting attempted.

-Unable to meet experience requirements.

Experience lost.

-Giant Mosquito Stingers found x3.

Looting End:

“This is bullshit.”

“No, it is exactly what I told you. Now can we return to the inn?”

“No, this doesn’t prove anything. The mosquitoes were probably just too weak to give me experience. We need to fight something stronger.”

Salem rolled his eyes. “Oh, you are insane.”

* * *

Five days. Five days, twenty-seven monsters, and no experience, but I finally knew why. They had all been too weak. Every monster had been below ten. I needed to fight something stronger to gain experience.

I threw myself to the left as the puma lashed out with its paw. Salem came in from the right and slammed into it with a shoulder tackle. The strike didn’t hurt the bigger cat, only pissed it off and drew its attention away from me.

It turned and roared at Salem.

I used the opening to jab my spear into its side. There was a thump as the blade hit bone. The overgrown housecat turned and lashed out, striking and snapping the end of the spear in two. I dove backwards, tucking into a roll that put me back onto my feet, before tossing aside the now useless stick to go for one of my backup spears I’d planted in the ground. The stronger the monsters, the more they destroyed my weapons. If I hesitated to change weapons I’d suffer a quick end.

Five days of continual combat was enough time for me to see an increase in numerous branches of combat lore proficiencies. Only a few were above the initiate rank, but the sheer variety advanced my capabilities significantly. If I had taken on this puma on my first day, I would have tripped over my own feet.

The next spear went into the puma’s other side twice before I needed to replace it. As the seconds dragged on, the beast slowly began to tire and weaken. With a final shout, I drove my third spear between its ribs ending its suffering.

Well done, you have successfully killed a Forest Puma with your spear and gained a new rank of proficiency with spears. You can now boast that you can use a spear as well as any Journeyman.

I didn’t care about the stupid spear rank, so I dismissed the prompt.

With almost frantic anticipation, I waited for the loot orb to materialise. Salem retreated somewhere nearby to watch. He’d stopped talking to me a couple of days back, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. I would gain experience no matter what. I had found the way.

The orb appeared, and I jammed my hand into it, accepting the prompt without bothering to read it.

I ignored the fang that appeared as loot when the puma vanished and brought up my experience bar.

0/1 experience to next level.

No…it couldn’t be. There had to be experience. I’d worked it out. This was the way. The monster was strong enough. What had I done wrong?

Salem walked over and stared up at me as I muttered to myself. There was no snide look on his face, only a quiet sorrow. “I want you to know that I understand your pain, Arnold. I understand the madness that is driving you to this insanity. You are grieving for the family and friends you will never see again. I understand why you feel you must do this. I hoped my help would make you see reason, but I am afraid I have only made you run farther from your grief. I am going back to the village now. I hope you live long enough to see reason. The puma’s cub is coming. You should flee.”

With a small nod, Salem turned and dashed off in the direction of the village. I’d barely heard what he said. I was too busy madly staring at the lack of experience. It should have worked.

Why didn’t it?

A growl came from the bushes.

I looked up, gripping my spear tight as I searched for Salem. It took me a second to remember he was gone. Then the young puma was on me.

* * *

I woke to pain and clean white sheets. The bedside table held a mug of water. I was in my room at the inn. I hesitated before looking under the covers, but when I finally checked, there were so many bandages I had no real idea of how injured I was.

I remembered fighting the young puma and barely surviving. It had torn my legs up pretty good while I stabbed it to death. The walk back was a blur of pain and blood, but I didn't remember making it to the village. I remembered collapsing just past the edge of the forest but going no farther.

I took the cup of water and drank, and then exhaustion took me to the land of sleep, where my pain couldn’t follow.

The next time I woke, a spindly old man was changing the bandages on my legs, humming a mournful melody.

Healer Yaceb.

Yaceb had lost all his hair and had liver spots all over his arms and scalp. He wore a simple white shirt and trousers with no shoes.

He worked slowly and methodically, taking care with each movement.

As the song came to its end, he started to talk without looking at me. “I have seen men hanging from trees, others drowning in a bottle, and even men trying to choke themselves on blood, believing war, of all things, will solve their problems. I find it sad that there are so many ways for a man to kill himself.”

He gave a firm tug, pulling the bandage tight, causing a spasm of pain to shoot through my leg.

“Then there are the men who make others participate…I have been told to tell you that The Beaten Anvil will no longer supply you with weapons. And Gretel will ask you to vacate your room if you ever return to her inn bleeding. I, however, do not have that luxury. If you come to my door, I will heal you. I will not turn you away. But neither will I hold my tongue. So let old Yaceb ask you, son, what’s got you so twisted up that you’re trying to kill yourself?”

4

TWO SEASONS AND CHANGE

My legs looked like they’d passed through a paper shredder. Despite alcohol baths and what Yaceb promised were antibacterial poultices, infection set in, and I spent several nights with fevered dreams. The physical pain matched my emotional state and it was four days before I could bring myself to answer Yaceb’s questions.

I spent fifteen days in bed healing in more than just the physical sense. And even then, it was still another two weeks before I could walk without the aid of a cane or crutch.

Reality hit me hard.

I’d been so excited by the fact that this world behaved like a game that I hadn’t let myself think about what I’d lost until life got too real. By then, I couldn’t take back my decision to stay, so like a madman, I’d done everything I could to justify that it was the right choice, even twisting my own thoughts.

Fine or coherent were not words I’d use to describe my actions in the forest or the days before. Grief-stricken madness was more accurate. I grieved for my parents and my sister Sophie and the fact that we’d never have another Christmas. I grieved for the friends I’d never see again and the fact that I already missed them. They were all still alive but out of reach.

By the time I could walk, I wasn’t the wreck that had fallen unconscious at the edge of the forest. Each day the pain from being unable to get back to them was just as harsh. The only thing that changed was me. I got a little stronger, a little better at carrying that pain around with me. A month of bedrest helped me get my head straight.

I had to face up to the fact that Salem had told me the truth. Farmers couldn’t level outside of their farm without buying experience. So I didn’t go back to the forest. Instead, I began to learn more about my new world.

* * *

I slowed my jog to a walk and held up my hand to stall Salem as I tried to catch my breath. Losing weight sucked. “Wait, let me just make sure I understand what you are saying. The purpose of all classes and the system behind it is to generate magic…leveling, skills, and everything else are all there to facilitate this process.”

Well done, you have successfully comprehended simplified system theory lore well enough to parrot it back, earning you your first rank of comprehension in this field. You can now boast that you understand system theory lore as well as any Novice.

The thoughts sloshing around in my skull solidified.

I dismissed the prompt.

“Yes,” Salem said.

We were close enough to the forest that he wasn’t worried about someone overhearing or seeing him reply.

“Then why are there so many limitations? Why can’t I go into the forest over there and kill a few monsters to level?”

“Can you not guess the answer from what I’ve already told you?”

I frowned, wiping sweat from my forehead. Salem was doing this more and more. It was both extraordinarily annoying and helpful.

Several minutes passed while I tried to cobble together an answer. “I’m just thinking out loud here, but if the whole system is designed to generate magic, then the system wouldn’t reward anything that didn’t add to this functionality. That means that it needs farmers farming for some reason; rewarding anything outside those actions would be counterproductive.” Something suddenly occurred to me. “Salem, how much of the surface area of villages, towns, and city zones is taken up by farming?”

“Between 80% and 90%.”

That was a lot of space. And if everything was there to generate magic, that had to mean the space filled a purpose. “Salem, are farms used to refine magic in some way?”

Well done, you have successfully deduced something you have not been directly told, showing you have gained greater comprehension of system theory lore, earning you a new rank of understanding in this field. You can now boast that you can understand system theory lore as well as any Initiate.

Salem chuckled. “Two levels of comprehension in only a matter of minutes—impressive. And to answer your question, yes. Farms seem to be at the foundation of the human system. It is the mechanism by which all other magic is brought into it.”

“You just said the human system? Are there different systems for different races?”

“Yes. The foundational mechanism for the dwarven race is mining and crafting. The elven system is based on forestry and hunting. The orc system is built on battle.”

“How can a system be based on battle? Wait. Don’t answer that, I’ll only get sidetracked. I need to tackle this question first: so the human system for generating magic seems to require a lot of farmers and farms for it to work. That means the system is only going to reward actions which encourage that sort of growth which is why I can’t walk into the forest and kill a monster to gain experience.”

“Exactly.”

“That doesn’t make sense, though.”

Salem sighed. “What doesn’t make sense?”

“If the foundation of the system is farming, shouldn’t the system be more rewarding? Everything you’ve told me about farmers says that it’s one of the more difficult classes to level. It takes more than a decade to get to level five without assistance.”

“Ah, you have made a false assumption from living here in Blackwood. That is my fault. This was originally built as an independent village. The farmers’ forefathers were hermits who rejected society. They individually own their farms which makes them ineffective. Traditionally, farms are large operations where hundreds to thousands of farmworkers work under a landlord. Farmers as a class are not meant to grow independently but as a collective. How to explain…ah…think of farms like an assembly line rather than individual constructions. You told me you have them in your world so it should help you understand. Working as a group speeds up their growth.”

“Even if that is true, it would still make more sense to make the class easier to level…unless, how high does your average farmer grow in their lifetime?”

“High forties,” Salem said.

“And from what you’ve told me, a farmer is at their most cost-effective at around level thirty which means they spend the majority of their professional life locked at that level bracket. This means the system is designed to stop a farmer from leveling further. It doesn’t need a whole lot of farmers around level ninety; it needs a whole lot of them around level thirty.”

“Yes.”

“So the reason I feel like it’s rigged against me is because it is rigged against me.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck!” I began jogging, thinking dark thoughts for several minutes, hoping to burn off the anger with exercise. Salem didn’t interrupt me. He just kept pace beside me.

The class system was literally rigged against me. It didn’t want me to succeed. It needed me not to. That was just the most aggravating curveball life had thrown my way. It meant that finding a way to exploit the system was going to be even more challenging.

I was probably going to have to use my backup plan.

From my discussions with Salem, I didn’t have much I could bring to this world that wasn’t already brought by someone else. They even knew about electronics, but Salem told me they couldn’t use it because magnets and electricity interfered with magic in weird ways. I wanted to test that out when I knew a bit more about the world, but I was learning to trust Salem more and more. He was an ass, but he didn’t lie.

Finally, I said the words I didn’t want to say. “Salem, can you please teach me to read and write?”

Salem looked at me for several seconds. “Why the sudden interest?”

“Well, I’m beginning to believe your assessment of the situation. And I’m really not interested in farming, and I will need to make money eventually. I figure there are a few books from my world that will do just as well in yours as they did in mine and if I can learn to read and write your language maybe I can translate them. It should be enough to make a living. People are always interested in listening to us incarnates on account of our title making us more interesting.”

Salem chuckled. “As far as plans go it is not terrible or original. There are many incarnate who have done the same. Perhaps with my guidance, you will be one of the ones who are successful enough to purchase experience.”

“I hope so.”

* * *

The next six months passed in a blur of study, friendly gambling, and a whole lot of board and card games. Between drinking and games, I got to know a fair amount of the villagers who weren’t farmers, including the mayor, Jeric, who I played chess with a couple of nights a week. Because of all that, things grew a little less painful.

Friends, people…they keep the horror that is loneliness at bay.

I even had a couple of dates. They didn’t go on to anything, as my dates inevitably realised I didn’t plan to farm. They didn’t like my plan for making a living either. People were devoted to their class. They didn’t understand the idea of working outside of it—in fact, the only people who did were servants or members of the army’s militia.

I probably would have kept going with my plan to translate Pride and Prejudice, except Salem had me start reading as part of the learning process. I read dozens of books on different subjects before a book called The Farmer’s Guide to Farming landed in front of me.

It was just like any other read until an exciting passage caught my attention.

On the off chance your farm is raided by goblins and you survive, it is always wise to check your root cellar after the goblins have fled. Extremely greedy and gluttonous goblins sometimes eat themselves into a comatose state and are incredibly vulnerable in this condition. Killing them while incapacitated will usually gain you enough valuable experience that it can offset the cost of rebuilding, if not pay for it outright.

If I had have read that passage when I’d first arrived, I would have immediately run to Salem demanding answers. Now, I was a little wiser and cautious. So, I spent the next week reading and rereading the entire book to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood through a translation error and began framing questions I could ask and seeing if I could answer them myself without going through the know-it-all.

It was a bright and sunny afternoon when Salem leapt onto my windowsill in my room. The fact that we were on the second floor of the inn didn’t faze him.

“I need you to read something and answer a few questions,” I said, opening the book to the page I had marked before placing it down on the bed beside me.

Salem rolled his eyes and effortlessly leapt onto the mattress. He stopped in front of the book and focused on the area I pointed to, scanning the text four times faster than I possibly could, before looking at me with a bored expression. “You cannot earn experience from killing monsters.”

I nodded, expecting the reply. “So the book is mistaken then.”

“No. The text is correct.”

“So you can get experience from killing monsters?”

“What did I just say?”

“I know what you just said, but you’re contradicting yourself.”

The arrogant asshole smiled smugly. “Not in the slightest.”

“Then if killing a monster doesn’t give farmers experience, how does the farmer killing the goblin in the text give experience?”

“The experience isn’t from slaying the monster. It is from defending their farm.”

I didn’t speak for almost a minute and my voice was shaky when I did. “Just to clarify, you are saying a farmer receives experience from killing monsters when they are defending their farm?”

“Obviously.”

I took a few deep breaths, almost giddy with excitement. My week spent reading and rereading hadn’t been wasted. My translation was correct.

I moved onto my next question. “How does that work exactly? And what is the specific difference between defending your farm and killing a monster in the forest?”

I’d learned that many things that seemed straightforward were not. Gambling was one of those. I gambled drinking money with a few of the village guards most nights, but there were specific rules you had to follow. Games either had to be timed or had to have a clear ending. You had to play to win, and you couldn’t give the winnings back. If you followed those rules, you received gambler experience when you won.

The thing was, those rules weren’t written in stone. They could be bent. The guards and I only played for a copper piece, which didn’t give much experience, but a win was just enough for the winner to buy everyone at the table a round of ales. And it didn’t negate the rules for gaining gambler experience. So, in essence, it was free experience, since the guards and I were going to buy those ales anyway.

Salem kneaded the covers with his paws before taking a seat. “I will answer your second question first. The difference between defending your farm and killing a monster in the forest is the threat posed. The threat I am talking about is not to your person, but to your farm. As a farmer, your farm is your vehicle for leveling. When a monster threatens this vehicle, it becomes a danger to your farm, similar to a disease or pest, only a far more dangerous one. Since removing a disease or pest offers experience, killing a monster or wild animal offers a similar reward. Since the risk is that much greater, the reward is too.”

I’d figured it was something like that but had to ask to make sure which was why I had my next question ready. “Will I gain experience if I capture a small monster and then bring it to my farm and kill it?”

“No, and you are far from the first to think of this. In that scenario, the initial combat would have begun in the forest, and the rules for a farmer killing a monster in the forest would apply despite the monster having been killed on your farm, so no experience. And, yes, the same parameters would be triggered if you let a monster chase you through the forest to your farm. Not that you are likely to make that work, as weak monsters rarely leave the forest, and you would not be able to outrun a troll.”

Well, that answer was annoying but not unexpected.

“So, it’s all a matter of when the combat is initiated, right? The goblins in the book initiated combat after they came onto the farm which allowed the farmer to gain experience from killing them.”

“Exactly. Now, if you have no more stupid questions…” Salem stood up to leave.

“What rules apply if a farmer leaves a trail of food from the forest to their farm?”

“Stupidity…there is no guarantee the monster you lured would come to your farm and you would be endangering your neighbours.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

Salem sighed and turned back. “I’m not sure. Technically if you were not seen or initially followed, then in that scenario, the combat would be initiated on your farm, and you would be defending your farm, but that is only a hypothesis. However, even if it did work that way, you would still be endangering your neighbours’ lives. You could as easily lure a troll as a wolf which is likely why it has never been tried. Or if it has, no one has lived through the experiment.”

“So you would need to test it on a farm where there were no neighbours, like say…in a village where the entire east side had been sacked by goblins and abandoned.”

Salem paused, and then he frowned. After a while, he began to slowly shake his head. “How long have you contemplated this?”

“About a week.”

“It shows. This plan is less moronic than I have come to expect from you. However, have you considered what you will do if a troll does show up?”

I opened the back of the book and retrieved the paper I’d been doodling on. The more I’d thought about this plan, the more ideas had come to me. Growing up—before I got interested in boobs—there was one movie I loved above all others. Home Alone. My plans for a trap-covered farm would have made Kevin McCallister proud.

I started explaining.

And the more I talked, the more interested Salem became. We talked for the rest of the day and long into the night, going over possible scenarios and how we would deal with them.

But it wasn’t until late the next afternoon that Salem said, “You have convinced me. You have a feasible plan. But what do you need to make it work?”

Answering that question took another week and came down to a single scenario. The reason it took so long was simple. I didn’t have enough money for the required setup. Even the smallest farm with just four fields would cost a minimum of 700 silver nobles, and then I’d have to rebuild either a barn or the farmhouse, and I only had the funds for a small building when I needed a barn big enough for what we wanted to do. And none of that included taxes which had to be paid six months in advance.

So, I had to get creative and stretch the rules. Once I worked out how to do that well, the possibility of pulling it all off went up.

* * *

Jeric, the village’s mayor and only noble, took a sip of his wine, gave a roguish smile, and then moved his bishop to where he could take my queen. At a little over fifty years old, Jeric looked like a man twenty years younger with a body that would make an Olympic swimmer jealous. His light brown hair was cut short and he always looked freshly shaven. His clothes were the nicest in the village, without being ostentatious. He was too humble to display his wealth or look down on others.

The piece tapping the board was the only sound to be heard in the inn. The village guards had called it a night and even Wendell, the village drunk, had gone home. Gretel had turned in, leaving the inn entirely to the two of us.

“You’re playing poorly, Arnold. Is that because there is something on your mind?”

Jeric had told me months ago that his wisdom was high enough to read everyone in the village except the wizard Redcliff like an open book—everyone but me. He could see my level and guess at my skills, but unlike the uneducated masses here, I was educated enough to be a little more complex. I was also an incarnate which made it much harder.

That was partly why he’d invited me to poker night with him and the village’s more wealthy individuals. The first time I won roughly fifty silver nobles. The second it was eighty. There was no third time.

“Did Gretel mention it?”

“She might as well have with the way she decided to leave us alone. I’ve known the woman for almost two decades and not once has she left her inn unattended while there were customers inside.”

“I needed to speak to you alone.”

“Clearly.”

“I’ve got a proposition for you.”

Jeric chuckled, scratching the side of his chin while looking me directly in the eye. “I am a happily married man, Arnold, not that you don’t have your charms. I am flattered, but I will have to turn you down.”

“Not that sort of proposition.”

He grinned. “In that case, you have my undivided attention.

“Several months ago, you said that Blackwood was in such a poor state that you wished you could give the eastern farms away. Were you just talking or would you really let them go for free if you could?”

“An empty farm is like an empty bowl; it feeds no one. While I might have been talking over wine, Arnold, I wasn’t blathering. I would give those farms away if I could. They haven’t done anyone any good these last three years.”

“In that case, I would like you to give me the Darkwood farm and three of the neighbouring farms. It’s a total of fifty-five fields.”

Jeric looked at me with interest. “You are far more astute than most, so I’m not going to tell you that is impossible, but rather ask you how you plan to circumvent the minimum gold crown per field price?”

I had to do this delicately. Jeric and I got on well, and I considered us friends, but I was still asking a lot. “You control the village coffers, correct?”

“Yes, but I cannot loan you the money.”

“But you could gamble it away,” I said.

Jeric frowned, but it wasn’t an angry frown. If I was reading him right, it was merely slightly confused. “I don’t follow.”

This was the tricky part. My proposition was as borderline as you could go without being outright illegal. I’d practiced my next words in front of a mirror for nearly a day, trying to make my tone and inflection perfect, so he would hear me out to the end.

“I’m not trying to be rude, but you aren’t much of a card player. I propose we gamble until you’ve lost enough of the village’s money to equal the cost of the land I wish to purchase. At that point, I will purchase the farms legally with your losses. As I understand it, gambling winnings are not taxed, and neither are village land sales, so neither of us will be required to pay taxes to the crown, meaning you will essentially be giving away the land for free, though the system will technically see you as selling it. I imagine you will win a few of our games, so at the very least, you will get some good gambler experience out of this.”

Jeric shook his head and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, completely forgetting our game. “Arnold, that must be the most underhanded manipulation of the laws I have ever heard firsthand. And I am almost entirely certain it is legal.” He grinned. “Still, I will need time to consult the laws and ruminate on this matter before I do anything. However, you must know that this method cannot be used for the advanced taxes you will have to pay.”

“Well, it would if you were willing to lose a little more and only make me pay the crown’s share.”

Jeric chuckled. “I like you, Arnold, but not that much.”

“I figured. I have the money for the taxes.”

“Good. But what do you plan to use the farm for? Because I’ve honestly never met a farmer who was quite so adamant he wouldn’t farm.”

“I’m only willing to hint at what my plan is, but even then, I would ask that you do not repeat what I tell you to another living soul.”

Jeric smile vanished and he placed his right hand on his heart. “To my last breath, what you tell me here and now shall never leave my lips.”

I waited until he was comfortable. “I think I’ve found an exploit in the laws.”

Exploits in the laws were as rare as Salem had said but not unheard of, and they were exploited to the extreme. Gambling for drinks was a minor example. There were plenty of others like the 47 quests of carpentry or the fisherman’s pond.

Jeric sighed. “Only crazy dreamers chase exploits…but then again, you started this conversation with the most blindingly unexpected manipulation of the laws I have ever been a part of. And if it holds up to scrutiny then that suggests you probably have a chance.”

I leaned forward excitedly. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s an ‘I’ll get back to you.’”

I sighed. “I can live with that.”

“Good. Now, I’m assuming by this level of privacy that you do not want me to use this method of land acquisition with others?”

“Not until I’ve had a chance to test my theory, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“It’s not.” He looked down at the chessboard. “Now, I believe it is your move.”

5

SURPRISES AND PLANNING

It was a warm sunny afternoon so I was in a good mood when I arrived at The Beaten Anvil. The sounds of hammering and the scent of charcoal smoke filled the air. Jeric’s approval to move ahead with my plan had arrived via letter two days ago and I’d been systematically working my way down the list of people I needed to talk to. I was halfway through sourcing the equipment necessary for my plan to work. Now that Jeric had returned from wherever he had been, we could finally get started on gambling for the land.

I waved at Ava and her husband as their youngest came forward. He was a little bigger than the last time I had seen him, but then, kids grew fast at his age. “Welcome to The Beaten Anvil. How may I be of assistance?”

I smiled. “You got it right, well done. Can I talk to your mum when she’s free?”

He nodded and hurried over to pass on the message.

I folded my arms and waited, enjoying the day.

My good mood took a sharp dive when Ava walked over, smiling, and said, “So I hear you are building a sex dungeon.” The sound of her husband laughing told me he’d heard her. “Now, I’m not going to say a few of the local unmarried girls won’t be interested, but I am a little surprised. I didn’t take you for the adventurous dominative type. Or are you a sub?”

“Wh…what?” was all that managed to come out of my mouth.

“Don’t be so surprised,” she said, slapping my shoulder playfully. “The whole village knows. Brek took one look at the plans you gave him and went straight to the captain of the guard, informing him that if anyone went missing to go to your place and check. Our poor Captain Wallis had to explain to the man that your little underground room might not be as nefarious as he first assumed. He even had to go into detail before Brek would settle down. Oh, Cora had me in stitches telling me all about it.”

I swallowed, finally understanding what she meant. I could feel my face heating up. My first instinct was to deny it, but then I would have to explain what the underground room was for, and I wanted that less. So instead, I said, “Everyone knows?”

Ava chuckled. “Practically everyone and almost every father has expressly forbidden their daughters from talking to you—which is just going to push a few of them your way faster. But men can be so foolish sometimes. Anyway, what can I do for you?”

It was too much, so I just handed her the paper I’d written my list on.

Ava’s smile grew as she read. “Ah, that’s a lot of chain you’re after. And I see you want two steel cages. I’m not sure what you are going to do with all those pulleys and hinges, but I’d appreciate it if you explained it to my husband for me. So we can know what we are helping with, of course.”

Her husband’s laughter died off in a fit of choking.

My face went from hot to burning. “Um, if I leave you the list, could you estimate the prices for me? I want to see what I can afford.”

“No problem, Arnold. That shade of red is adorable on you, by the way.”

“Um…ah…goodbye.”

I hadn’t noticed the looks I’d been getting as I went to The Beaten Anvil, but I sure as hell noticed them on the way to Kiln’s Carpentry. I even had to talk myself up to going around the cottage to the small sawdust-smelling shed out the back by telling myself that Ava was exaggerating.

But the first thing Kiln said when I walked through the shed door was, “You’ve come to the right place if you are looking to furnish your sex dungeon, Arnold. I don’t go in for that sort of thing myself, but if you need quality furniture then I’m your man. I can make you anything you need.”

Thirty minutes of embarrassing conversation later and Kiln understood what I needed. Though he kept referring to the falling spike traps I’d designed as sex racks since I didn’t deny it. He also kept saying things like, “damn, you’re a freak," quickly followed by asking if I’d talked to this widow or that farmer’s daughter. Immediately followed by, “I think she would be into it.”

Now, I knew the locals were a little freer about sex than back home. And that was saying something. And I figured it had a lot to do with their access to universal birth control. There was apparently a prompt that you could have auto-filled that asked you if you wanted to attempt to conceive and if either party clicked no you couldn’t. I mean, birth control started the sexual revolution back home, and Tinder just made hookups easier, so why wouldn’t a society that had this all along be a bit more promiscuous?

But this was just a little too open for my taste since I was the centre of attention.

After visiting everyone on my list and receiving similar replies, I went to Jeric’s manor. His butler Hamlin met me at the door and led me to a windowless parlour where Jeric waited at a table with a deck of cards. The small, crystal-lit room was filled with books, reminding me very much of my father’s study.

For a moment, the old pain reasserted itself, but then, as tended to happen now, everything went back to normal.

Jeric put down the book he was reading, and picked up the deck, and began shuffling. “That will be all, Hamlin. We can take care of ourselves.”

The butler gave an old-fashioned, “Yes, sir,” and then exited the room, closing the doors behind him.

The door clicked shut and I timidly crossed the room. Beeswax and old paper gave a pleasant, inviting odour. I noticed the temperature was cooler than the breeze outside, almost like the room had air conditioning.

I sat in the chair across from Jeric and cleared my throat nervously. “I got your letter. Since you wanted to go ahead with my plan, I’ve taken the liberty of setting things in motion. I hope that’s not a problem, but you weren’t here for me to ask.” I spoke too quickly to be casual, praying the conversation wouldn’t turn towards sex dungeons. “How was the trip, by the way?”

Jeric took a breath. “Enlightening.”

Oh, thank goodness he hadn’t heard.

“What was it for? You didn’t mention you were leaving when we talked. All I know is I woke one day and you were gone? I’ve been wondering if it had something to do with our conversation.”

“My apologies for that, but the trip wasn’t planned and I was in an excitable state. I was more than a day away before I could think clearly. And you are correct. It had something to do with our conversation.” A smile took hold of his features.

“Just spill it,” I said, not in the mood for games. “What did you find out?”

Jeric leaned forward and dropped his voice to a whisper. “You accidentally discovered a noble exploit.”

“What!”

“Not so loud.”

“You’re serious?”

“Entirely.”

My jaw dropped and I couldn’t find the brainpower to close it for several seconds. “How?” It was all I could say.

“It’s because the village has a stagnation debuff. Usually, selling off land owned by the crown doesn’t generate experience for the administrator of the village or town. However, when a village is in as poor a state as Blackwood, this changes. Now, normally, selling the crown-owned land would only generate a small amount of experience because the reduced base price of the land is all you can ever hope to receive, but by using your method of gambling away the crown’s funds that I control and increasing the price of those fields to their maximum, that small amount of experience suddenly becomes quite significant and turns it from a minor exploit into something noteworthy.”

Congratulations, you have learned you accidentally uncovered a new method of gaining experience. Uncovering this method has earned you a new title: Wiseman.

Wiseman

Level: 1

Effect: +10 wisdom

Jeric carried on talking, unaware of what happened. “In order for me to gain the extra experience, you will need to pay ten crowns for each field and building, not one.”

I blinked, clearing the prompt from my vision. “I just earned a title.”

Jeric chuckled. “Congratulations, the Wiseman title gives a significant boost to wisdom.”

“How did you…”

Jeric waved away my comment before I even finished making it. “You created a new method for gaining experience. Everyone who does receives it.”

“Oh…” What Jeric had said suddenly caught up to me. “That price increase for the fields will increase my merchant experience and our gambler experience, won’t it?”

Jeric nodded. “Yes, it is quite the exploit you’ve unintentionally created. It bodes well for your future discoveries.”

An annoyed feeling mixed with jubilation over the title began to stir in me. Salem and I had discussed this method for hours and he’d never brought up the fact that this could potentially be an exploit. He’d said merchants and the crown had already created and tested the gambling method we were suggesting centuries ago. The ramifications had been massive inflation on the price of foodstuffs and a dozen key materials for several years which dissolved many classes' wealth, leading to widespread famine. That was because the system was designed to generate magic and because they were essentially generating experience from nothing, the system had to correct itself in some way.

We’d spent a long time talking about that, trying to understand what would happen in this situation. We’d figured the worst consequence would be an inflation of the base land price in the village. But that would only happen if we kept using the method the way the merchants had, which we didn’t plan to do.

It wasn’t supposed to be able to generate noble experience. It wasn’t supposed to be an exploit. Damn it. I had given it away for free.

It took me almost a minute to calm down when I realised that. Jeric sat patiently watching me the whole time, probably reading what I was thinking by my expression.

I huffed out a breath. “Are you going to tell other nobles about it?”

Jeric shook his head, folded his hands on the table in front of him, and then looked me in the eye. “Arnold, I want to make this clear. I do not consider myself to be the owner of this exploit, even though as the first noble to learn about this method I will receive the experience bonus associated with it. This is your discovery. When you are ready to sell it and make your fortune, I will be there to help facilitate those sales. We can do so now or after you have tested your other exploit. The decision is entirely yours.”

I stared at him, lost for words.

I liked Jeric.

He was a good guy.

I hadn’t realised that he was that good a good guy. He was the kind of guy who would hide a dead body for you or tell you your girlfriend had tried to sleep with him after he had turned her down.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you. This is going to generate quite a lot of experience for me.”

“Do you know how much this exploit is worth?”

Jeric shrugged. “That depends on how you choose to sell the method. If you are looking for gold, then I’d be surprised if you could sell this information for more than a few hundred crowns, as those that can benefit are not wealthy. However, the true value in noble exploits lies in the favours you can trade for them.”

“Favours, what do you mean?”

“Unlike most classes, nobles can’t sell their experience. It’s one of the quirks of our class, like the fact that we can’t choose whether or not to conceive, risking pregnancy. If we have to trade experience, we do so for favours. Telling another noble about this exploit could be considered a favour that could entitle me to half their experience.”

“So the true value in this exploit is that it allows you to exploit other nobles with it.”

“Essentially. However, if you need gold, as I said, this could earn you several hundred crowns.”

“It’s not enough,” I said, being practical. “I’ve heard I’ll need at least 5,000 crowns if I want to reach level 100. And that doesn’t include the cost of getting through my thresholds. If my other method works, it will be significantly more profitable.”

“Then you would like me to remain silent for now?”

I nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“I told you. This is your method. I am happy to do as you want. Now on an unrelated note, my captain informs me you are building a sex dungeon. I’m not exactly sure what that has to do with finding an exploit, but I must say I am honestly both intrigued and excited. I can’t wait to hear those old fusspots at the Academy of Law debating sex dungeons and their function within the law.”

“It’s not a sex dungeon!” The words just came out. I’d been holding them back too long.

Jeric smiled and then chuckled softly. “Sorry, Arnold, I’m having fun at your expense. I know you well enough to be sure that whatever it is, it isn’t that. But it is a good misdirection. Our dear captain was quite adamant that it was exactly what he had been looking at. But enough about that; let’s play cards. I want to see if you are really as good as you think you are.”

I scowled, fighting the urge to smile at Jeric’s joke. “We’ll start with a 100 silver buy-in and play for an hour or until one of us is out of money. Small blind is a silver and the big blind is two. Deal when you’re ready.”

Jeric’s smile faltered. “Why so little? At that rate, we will be playing for weeks. You did hear the part about increasing the base price of the fields, didn’t you?”

“I did. However, I’m not deluded enough to believe I’ll win every game and I don’t want to have two bad games and be out of money. Trust me. We will start slow and then raise the bet when I’m ahead.”

“This is still going to take weeks at that rate.”

I grinned. “Well it would be faster but someone now wants me to pay the max price. And you’re overestimating your chances of winning.”

Max price was a bit of a haggling oddity as you technically didn’t just have to haggle with your own individual skill level, but you could technically do so with both parties' combined level. With ordinary people that would be anywhere between nothing and 400% above base, but Salem had taught me that the crown and its representatives could haggle up to ten times the base value. We were going to be here for a while now that Jeric wanted us to do that.

Jeric’s smile returned. “I suppose time is a small price considering the reward.”

“That’s my justification.”

Jeric shuffled the deck, handed it over and let me cut it, then he dealt two cards to each of us.

I’d been a little surprised to learn they had Texas Hold’em, but then I was surprised by many things, like the fact that incarnation was common. A few times a year, someone from a different universe similar to my own would find their way here, which is why they had chess and checkers. They even had a casino in the capital with a blackjack table that only used one deck—which I was going to clean out the next time I was there.

I paid the blind and checked my cards. They were trash. I waited a few seconds and then folded. “Is that your family?” I asked, nodding to the portrait on the wall. We’d never played in his home, only at the inn.

The portrait showed a younger Jeric standing behind a gorgeous woman with straight brunette hair spilling over her shoulders. She sat on a chair, wearing a maroon dress stitched with arcane runes. The artist had managed to capture intelligence behind her green eyes. She had refined cheekbones and a small, cute nose. Electricity jumped between the fingers of her right hand, in thin sharp lines, while her left rested on the shoulder of a small girl that looked just like her, except she had Jeric’s nose and chin.

Jeric scooped up the cards and handed me the deck. “Yes. That is my wife Isabelle and our daughter Emily.”

I frowned as I began to shuffle. “This is going to sound weird, but this is not the first time I’ve heard names from my world. Originally, I thought the name Gretel was simply a coincidence, but I’ve heard enough now that it’s too common for this to be coincidence.”

Jeric chuckled as he took the shuffled deck from me and split it before handing it back. “Several centuries ago, it became a trend among the nobility to give their children names from incarnate worlds, since anything related to an incarnate becomes more interesting. The effect is significantly less than the one created by your title, but many see it as a good investment.”

Salem never told me that. It made a weird sort of sense, though. Who wouldn’t want to make their child more interesting to others if it only required a name? “Why don’t you ever talk about your family?”

Jeric’s face went still and he stared down at his cards before silently pushing them towards the middle, folding. “Because it is painful being apart from them.”

Boy, was it ever. Dwelling on it didn’t help either. It only made it hurt more. In my case, I found it easier to not think about it. “Ah, sorry I brought it up. I know how hard it is to be reminded of such things.”

Jeric shook his head and then looked up at the portrait while gathering the cards. “Don’t be. We will be spending a lot of time together, so the topic would have inevitably come up. I’m not sure how much you know about the noble class, but it is a challenging class to level and the only class you can lose.”

“That’s because of the noble privilege thing, right? If you don’t reach level ten by your eighteenth birthday then you lose your class and become an adventurer.”

“Yes, and it is not an easy thing to achieve. Only one in ten retain the class.”

“Only one in ten of you reach level ten by the time you are eighteen…that’s nuts,” I said as he dealt out the next hand.

“Yes. If you don’t have an estate then experience is hard to come by. You only need a single noble to enhance a village or town and such places are a limited commodity. Sure, there are border wars, for those who have the stomach for it, but they are dangerous, and you have to invest in yourself if you want to survive. Do you call?”

“Sure.”

“Then I raise four nobles.”

I threw in another four silvers. “Call.”

“Since everything is either dangerous or limited, the safe way to gain experience is through social growth. You go to parties, make yourself known by impressing other nobles. Girls like my daughter must look elegant and pretty, showing poise and charm. Boys have to impress others with their swordsmanship or daring. It’s ridiculously expensive and produces very little experience unless you are utterly exceptional, but it is the only readily available, safe way to gain experience.”

“Sounds fun.”

“It does unless your future depends upon it. You have to understand; you have no freedom to be an individual. You have to fit the model of a noble to gain experience and any deviation can cost you. Isabelle and Emily left for the capital nearly nine years ago and they have only gathered enough experience for her first five levels. The next five will be much harder. The horrible part is their gains are considered quite decent. I’ve been saving up every shred of experience to give to her, but that won’t even get her to level eight which is why I asked you to increase the price. Your exploit may just earn me enough experience to give Emily the future she desires.”

I blinked. “It’s worth that much?”

“Alone, no. But if I can use it for all the abandoned farms and land the village owns then it might just get us there. I raise you five.”

“Fold.” I collected the cards and passed over the coins before beginning to shuffle.

Jeric stared at his winnings for several seconds. “I am a man of my word and will not divulge your secret until I have your permission. But knowing what is on the line for my family and I, how long do you think your experiment will take?”

I handed the newly shuffled deck over for Jeric to cut. “Well, Brek said it’s going to take two weeks to move the house to the new site and another two weeks to make the alterations I requested. It will take me another two weeks to alter it further,” constructing and installing the traps I’d designed was not going to be quick, “and a week to cut the first field and prepare it the way I need it. If I’m not a raging success in the following twelve months then I’ll know I’ve failed.”

“So fourteen months,” Jeric said, deflated.

I dealt each of us two cards. “How long do you have?”

“Emily turns eighteen in a little over a year and a half…I fold.”

The deck changed hands again.

“I’ll have a much better idea of how things are going in six months,” I said. “And who knows, perhaps I’ll die early.”

Jeric shook his head. “Arnold, I consider you a friend, so please don’t make me wish for your death.” His tone was so dry I almost didn’t catch that he was joking.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying not to laugh. “I’m betting everything on this, but if it really doesn’t look like it will work then I’ll end it early.”

Jeric took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. “Don’t,” he said softly. “I would not have this opportunity without you. If it passes me by then I will accept it and never hold it against you. Now enough of these negative thoughts. What are you planning to do if your exploit works?”

I smiled. “I’m going to exploit it.”

“And what does that look like?”

“I’ll need land.”

Jeric nodded while looking at his card. “How much?”

“All of it.” I lowered my cards. “And I’m all in. Now, are you going to call?”

* * *

Well done, you have beaten Nobleman Jeric in a game of Texas Hold’em. You have acquired a new skill: Gambler.

Skill: Gambler

Level: 1

Effect:

+2% to your gambling ability

+1 luck

* * *

Well done, you have beaten Nobleman Jeric in a high-stakes game of Texas Hold’em and gained a level in your Gambler skill.

Skill: Gambler

Level: 10

Effect:

+20% to your gambling ability

+10 luck

* * *

Well done, you have beaten Nobleman Jeric in a game of Texas Hold’em and made a profit. You have acquired a new skill: Merchant.

Skill: Merchant

Level: 1

Effect:

+2% to merchant ability

+2% when haggling above base price.

* * *

Well done, you have beaten Nobleman Jeric in a high-stakes game of Texas Hold’em and made a profit gaining you a level in your Merchant skill.

Skill: Merchant

Level: 15

Effect:

+30% to merchant ability

+30% when haggling above base price.

6

NIGHTTIME THOUGHTS

It was past midnight and I was pacing around the tavern. A single lantern provided light in the corner of the room. I had been using it to work by and was taking a break. My notebook, where I wrote down my ideas for traps, lay on the table, waiting for my return.

The speed at which Brek and his people could move and reconstruct a house by hand didn’t make sense to me. It was far too fast for their technology and tools. Their classes and levels played a much bigger role than I could have imagined, before seeing it, but they were still a week away from finishing, and I’d run out of things to occupy my mind with. The excitement was starting to get the better of me.

If this plan worked, it wouldn’t only change my life, but perhaps hundreds of others’. The maps on Gretel’s wall showed hundreds of villages like Blackwood, hundreds of places where you could potentially lure and kill monsters.

The plans and traps I was designing for the farm were rudimentary at best. And the danger might end up being more than I could handle, but I lacked the funds to make anything bigger and better. And to be honest, I didn’t want to commit any more money than I already had. Maybe it wouldn’t work…but if it did, I knew I had to be ready to take the next step.

I’d need bigger traps.

Better traps.

In my mind, I could see barns filled with trapdoors and pressure plates. Life-sized roach motels where monsters walked in but they didn’t walk out. Places where farmers wouldn’t have to risk their lives or toil away for years just to gain experience.

Maybe it was just a fantasy.

Maybe this wouldn’t work at all because I was missing some key understanding of the rules. The system, after all, was stacked to work against farmers. Stacked to work against me.

But then again, maybe this would work.

Maybe this was the beginning of a new era.

It was what it felt like. It was the same anticipation as I’d had the night before our team had our first and only win at a major Warlords tournament. Back when I’d found a glitch in the mechanics that let Don and Charley combo their attacks and increase their range by 50% more than the game’s designers intended. The two of them tore through the competition, carrying the rest of us until we were accused of hacking and cheating.

The judges had gone so far as to change out our rigs, but our trick still worked and they’d been forced to give us our trophy and prize money. It took the game developers the whole week after the competition to work out what had gone wrong. They’d patched it out, of course, but they didn’t take our win from us.

They didn’t take our win from me.

Because let’s face it, I was the only reason we won. We were never really that good. Not at a professional level anyway. We could wipe the floor with casual players, but actual pros were another story.

Over the years, I’d got offers to captain professional teams, not as a player but as a strategist. I’d been stupid enough to turn them down, thinking I could use my brain to help our team make up for our lack of reflexes and talent. It had worked to a degree, but by the time I realised that we had reached our limits and that those limits didn’t put us at pro level, the offers were no longer coming.

I wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

I found myself in front of the map of the village. There was barely enough light to make anything out, but I’d stared at it enough times over the past seven months that I didn’t really need light to visualize the utter mess it was.

Salem had explained more or less what the hexagon surrounding the village meant and how it worked. It was pretty simple. It was the range at which the village's magic could extend, and by extension, the limits of where farming magic worked.

That wasn’t why it was a mess, but it was part of it. No, the reason that the farms inside had once been all over the place without a system of organization was because the village was only level three. The land around the village could handle up to 50,000 fields when the village leveled to ten, but the villagers had only ever planted out 6,000. People had just picked spots they liked and built. They wanted to get away from a life of teamwork, a life where they had to rely on others. So they’d created a mess.

No farm exemplified their mentality as much as the Darkwood farm, the farm I had bought, whose first owner had thought it was a great idea to build it in the south-easternmost corner, the spot closest to the forest.

Gretel had shared its sad history. But Salem was the one who explained it. He taught me most monsters viewed buildings like a herd, clustered together they were intimidating, but alone and separated they were no different to an animal cut off from its herd, easy prey in their eyes. The lack of neighbouring farms encouraged monsters to attack the Darkwood farm. The previous owners were killed by goblins, giant rats, a troll, a pack of wolves, some sort of insect creatures…and those were the deaths where people knew the cause. There were three other instances where the families had just been killed off in the middle of the night. The only evidence left behind were tracks that no one recognised.

After eight massacres in thirty years, the locals labelled it the Darkwood farm—basically another name for a death trap. So for almost a decade before goblins ravaged the village, no one lived there.

The lack of neighbours was what I was hoping would encourage the monsters to attack me. If that was what encouraged them to attack in the past, then the effect should now be stronger. The closest farms were outside the village and that was a good four miles away.

It also meant I was four miles from the nearest help.

I really hope I wasn’t making another big mistake.

7

MANUAL LABOUR

The eighty yards between the edge of my property and the forest couldn’t be farmed. It was a no man’s land, designed to discourage monsters from leaving The Wild Woods and approaching the village’s inhabitants, which the local farmers were happy for, but really annoyed me. For what I planned the closer the better. Sure there were extra dangers involved, but that was what I wanted, unlike the deceased previous residents. Of course, knowing about those risks, Brek initially refused to move the farmhouse to within a couple of fields’ length of the edge of the village’s zone of influence. We’d had several heated arguments over the farmhouse’s placement before I finally gave up and asked Jeric to have a word with him.

I mean, I knew where Brek’s argument was coming from. He knew the history of this farm as well as everyone else in the village and didn’t want to be part of building a death trap, but he was the village builder, and the mayor’s word was law. He’d grumbled through the entire process, and I’d caught him glaring at the old barn like it was somehow its fault for surviving at the very edge of the village when nothing else had.

The barn that received so many glares was part of the original Darkwood farm, predating all the death and tragedy. It was made from dark aged logs, which smelled like moss, though it was perfectly dry inside. The interior was large enough to fit the farmhouse three times over, and the farmhouse wasn’t small. It was the biggest farmhouse I could find among the nearby abandoned farms. It had five rooms, split between a kitchen, a sitting room, three bedrooms, and a hallway. I’d turned one of the bedrooms into a panic room and built an underground bunker beneath in case whatever I lured out of the forest was too tough to handle.

The farmhouse certainly wasn’t a palace, but it was bigger than any place I’d ever rented, though the lack of central heating and electric lights was noticeable. The fact that I couldn’t turn on a tap and get water, let alone hot water, also sucked. But beggars can’t be choosers, and that goes double for anyone who receives real estate for free.

With the barn and farmhouse set up and the traps in place, there was only one job left for me to do before I started baiting monsters. Unfortunately, it was the hard part.

“You can do this,” I whispered to myself. “You have to do this. You want to do this. It’s just farming. Boring, boring farming. But you have to do this. You’ve done everything else. You can no longer put this off. You’ve already found every excuse you could not to do this, including actually working. It’s time.”

The hard compact soil in front of my new farmhouse stared back at me, promising working it would not be easy or fun. It mocked me. Daring me to pick up my tools and try to tame it.

Stupid dirt.

“I honestly don’t see why this is so hard for you,” Salem said, scoffing at my suffering. “You spent an entire week happily digging that pit inside the barn without complaining once. You just need to mark out your field and turn over the soil. This is nothing compared to what you’ve been doing.”

I pulled my gaze from my immortal enemy and glared down at the familiar. “First of all, that wasn’t a pit. It was a hole. And secondly, in my world, it’s every man’s dream to one day dig a giant hole. It was a beautiful time and I already miss it.”

Salem shook his furry head in a very human gesture. “That is actually impressive. Your ability to procrastinate literally allows you to capitalize on any distracting avenue, no matter how small. Is this sort of impairment common in your world or is this curse something you have personally received?”

“Shut up.”

There was nothing I could say that wouldn’t make me sound like a child throwing a tantrum or let me win the argument. I was procrastinating. So I silently picked up the wooden peg and mallet and began hammering the peg into the ground. My arm rose and fell, striking the wooden peg perfectly.

The stupid ground resisted, mocking me with less and less progress after each strike.

My gaze inadvertently wandered to my right, to the farmhouse, and the rocking chair sitting out front. The veranda called to me with its siren song, whispering that there were books inside I still hadn’t read. All I had to do was put down my tools, walk a few yards, and we could be together enjoying ourselves. It was tantalizing me with its rocking chair and comfortable cushion, armrests where I could place a mug of ale.

No, I can’t. I have to do this. I have to.

Maybe having Brek face the front of the farmhouse towards the forest hadn’t been the best idea. Maybe I should have faced it away like the barn. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so tempted. But I wanted to be able to see the monsters coming from the forest and the front of the farmhouse had more shutter-covered openings I could gaze out from.

I shook my head, trying to clear away the distracting thoughts.

No, building the farmhouse facing the opposite direction wasn’t the answer. I just had to put my head down and work.

Stupid farming.

The peg finally went far enough in and I hooked the measuring string over the top and began pacing out the field using the string. I’d been both happy and a little annoyed to learn they used the metric system here, having received it from another incarnate. I was happy I already understood their measurements; I was annoyed it was the metric system. I was an American, damn it. It wouldn’t bother me so much if they also used the imperial system, but they used something called the crown system. Why couldn’t they measure things in feet and inches?

No, the crown system had to use things like fields. The name and distance of which came from the length of the side of the field I was currently making. It was roughly a hundred feet.

I finished hammering the corner pegs, muttering darkly to myself, while using the right-angle device I’d had to buy from those thieving merchants that came through the village to trade and began doing the cross-section to make sure I got my angles right.

This whole world was far too strict.

Like, a farm wasn’t considered a farm unless it had a farmhouse, barn, and a working field. Magic was obviously involved. Like, the well wouldn’t even fill with water and the root cellar wouldn’t stay cold unless you had those three things.

But there was more to it than that. You couldn’t just build any old house on a farm. You had to build a farmhouse—which was different from a townhouse. And your field had to be almost exactly square, or the magic that grew crops wouldn’t take effect, and the field wouldn’t become part of your farm.

I was sure that there was an underlying reason for all of it, but right now, I didn’t care. It was just stupid and annoying.

I spent the next few hours measuring out the edges, making sure it was all square, and then began cutting a straight line in the dirt, using the string as a guide. Any time I was even slightly off, Salem spoke up, criticizing my work.

It was hell.

* * *

A week trudged by. I finished turning over the field in the late afternoon of the seventh day. A prompt appeared.

Well done, you have successfully added a new field to your farm.

Unlike acquired skills that automatically gained experience, classes did not, so I held out my right hand after the prompt appeared and watched as a small green crystal, the size of a pea, coalesced on my palm. The process kind of tingled.

You have earned 1 farmer experience.

Would you like to absorb this experience?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes and grinned as another prompt appeared. It only took a single point of experience for anyone to gain their first level in their class. I could have bought the experience months ago, but the benefits of a single level were practically non-existent, so non-existent that Salem said beer was a better investment.

Well done, you have acquired enough class experience to increase your Farmer level.

Class: Farmer

Level: 1

Effects:

+1% to farming ability.

+1% to farming ability while on your farm.

Your Strength has increased by 1

Your Agility has increased by 1

You have 1 unassigned attribute points.

Would you like to assign it?

Yes/No.

I selected Yes.

I’d spent a lot of time, and I mean a lot of time, talking to Salem about attribute points and their function and effect. For the most part, they did what I thought they would.

Strength made you stronger and increased your damage with all weapons, except things like a crossbow which relied on stored energy.

Endurance made you fitter and increased your stamina but it also made you use less stamina when doing exercise or labour.

Dexterity improved your balance and made you less clumsy, but also increased accuracy with weapons and fine motor control, along with increasing your mental dexterity.

Agility made you faster while walking, working, and fighting, but it also made you a little more accurate when you worked or fought more slowly. Additionally, it increased your thinking speed.

Constitution increased your health, but it also increased your lifespan and decreased your chances of getting sick or how easily you were poisoned. There was also an increase in the rate you healed, but that didn’t become relevant until you had hundreds of points invested.

For the most part, all of these physical attributes were run-of-the-mill like most RPG games I’d played. The fact that dexterity didn’t increase ranged damage made sense to me. I’d watched enough English longbow videos on YouTube to know that an archer’s strength was the main driver behind the amount of force an arrow was fired with. So it had always made dexterity in games seem sort of like a bad joke.

The other three attributes were a little more interesting.

Intelligence increased your mana and improved your memory, but that improvement was less effective as you aged, in which case constitution and endurance actually improved your memory more at those stages. Its main effect, however, involved your ability to analyse people and objects. The higher your intelligence, the more information you could receive from the Academy of Law in the capital. And despite the improvement to memory, it didn’t actually make you smarter that only occurred as a combination of leveling all your attributes. But it did occur which was quite a surprise.

Of course, wisdom didn’t make you directly wiser, but it did make you more perceptive of the world around you. It helped you read people more accurately and improved your battle awareness. Over time, noticing all those little details did tend to make you wiser since you learned more of the decisions and actions that led to pleasant or unpleasant consequences.

Charisma was the oddest one. It behaved like the old Dungeons and Dragons charisma. It made you more charismatic and attractive while increasing your drive and willpower. And while it had absolutely no effect on combat power, it had numerous effects on social power. High charisma made those around you more likely to agree with you and help you. It turned you into the cool guy. The one everyone wanted to be around.

Learning that had made me hesitate at first. I didn’t like the idea of someone’s attributes manipulating me or mine possibly manipulating someone else. It sounded too much like mind control and love potions, but Salem informed me that it wasn’t that sort of manipulation.

It was far more straightforward.

Charisma was nothing but pure natural attraction and human stupidity. In his words, humans were easily led by anyone who was both attractive and well-spoken and increasing your charisma did no more than enhance these abilities. The attribute's actual benefits were supposedly negligible to a logic-driven individual or someone who was blindfolded.

So after learning all that and finding out I only received three attribute points a level, two of which I had no control over that would automatically be distributed to my strength and agility or endurance and constitution, depending on the level being even or odd, I’d come to one simple conclusion. I didn’t get enough attribute points. At just three a level, there was little chance for significant improvement. I couldn’t mix and match and share them around, like craftsmen classes which got five, and combat classes which received seven.

There was also the natural attribute factor to consider. Up until an attribute reached fifty, it was considered to be within the normal human range. If you were naturally fit and healthy, increasing your strength wouldn’t do anything until you were past fifty. If you were someone like The Mountain, that massive guy from Game of Thrones, then strength might not affect you until you were past a hundred. The reverse was also true. If you were a hundred-pound pipsqueak, you would probably start getting stronger after passing twenty strength. So, it all sort of depended on your natural talents.

Since I received so few attribute points, it came down to two options: wisdom or charisma. Gaining insight into people or gaining favour with them.

I would have considered intelligence, but Salem taught me about blessings. They were non-class-based attributes that clerics could bestow upon you. They increased your endurance, constitution, and intelligence depending on which ones you acquired, or if you looked at it another way, your stamina, health, and mana. But they weren’t cheap. Even the most common blessings cost two crowns each. Despite the expense being outside what most could afford, even the most impoverished farmer never put their free attributes in those three choices. That sort of thinking kind of reminded me of the people back home who would vote to protect the wealthy, not because they liked wealthy people, or thought they needed the money, but because they wanted to be them, and were brainwashed into thinking they would one day win the lottery and take advantage of those same breaks they were protecting. Winning the lottery was never going to happen. But it didn’t stop them from acting like it was true.

However, just because it wasn’t true for them, it didn’t mean it wasn’t true for me. I had a plan.

So I dropped the free attribute point into charisma.

At the end of the day, there was no point having high enough wisdom to understand everyone around you if no one wanted to work with you. And with thirty or more levels worth of attributes points in charisma, it would begin to improve my chances of getting laid.

Hopefully, my plan for trapping monsters would work out because not only would it earn me levels, it would make me money, and with money, I’d be able to buy more attribute points through blessing.

As the prompt faded, another took its place.

Well done, your farm has activated. You have six days to plant a crop to maintain your farm’s active status or you will lose it.

I glanced at the dirt field I’d turned over. It looked different than it had a minute ago, more orderly and organised. It suddenly wasn’t just a mess of broken-up dirt. The clumps of grass and weeds were gone and I could see rocks that hadn’t been there. I mean, I’d read that random rocks would appear when I cut a new field. But seeing it in person was so unnatural that it threw me for a moment.

Eventually, however, I turned and headed for the barn where I kept my tools, scattering the chickens I’d bought a few weeks ago with my passing. There was enough daylight left that I could get started on planting the squash.

Why squash?

It was simple. Because of my level, I couldn’t grow anything better like tomatoes or strawberries. There were only a handful of crops you could grow without needing any levels or skill in the farmer class, and squash was the easiest. When I reached level five I’d be able to grow a second field of squash. But even if I did plant the second field, my farm would still be haemorrhaging money.

God, I hated farming.

* * *

A paw struck my face, waking me.

“Arnold, get up,” Salem growled.

My eyes shot open, expecting the middle of the night and an attack. Sunlight streamed through the crack between the wooden shutters, blinding me. I flinched away from the light, turned over, and closed my eyes.

“It’s dawn, Salem. Why wake me up at dawn?”

“There is a ghost in the kitchen.”

That got my attention. Monsters didn’t attack during the day, but apparently, ghosts did. I threw the covers to the side and rolled off the bed, grabbing the spear and machete I kept beside it. “How dangerous is it and how do I kill it?”

My heart pounded at the prospect of gaining experience. The farm had been active for less than a day and my plan was already working. This was just too good.

Salem sighed. “You do not kill ghosts, you banish them, and they are not dangerous unless a necromancer is involved.”

I grinned. “How do I banish it, then, and how much experience does it give?”

Salem rolled his eyes. “You banish nothing. You need to go talk to Redcliff. Only a wizard or cleric can banish a ghost…and you will not gain any experience.”

My excitement died. “I won’t gain experience?” I put the spear and machete down where I had found them so they would be ready if I needed them and began to climb back into bed.

“What do you think you are doing?”

“I’m going back to sleep. You said it wasn’t dangerous, and if it’s not going to give me experience, then it can wait until later.”

I pulled the nice warm covers back over me and closed my eyes. Salem knew his stuff; if he said the ghost wasn’t dangerous, then it wasn’t dangerous, and I’d seen enough monsters since arriving and going mad in the forest that another one wasn’t going to pull me out of bed just so I could see what it looked like.

I heard Salem splutter for a moment. “This is unacceptable. You will wake up and retrieve the wizard this instance. That creature is a menace.”

I yawned, already falling back to sleep. “You said it wasn’t dangerous. Why is it now a menace?”

“It petted me,” Salem said with a small growl.

8

A GHOST OF FARM LIFE

“I cannot believe you went back to sleep,” Salem said. “Where are your priorities?”

“Look, I’m not going to get up a couple of hours early just because some ghost petted you,” I said as I stepped out of my room into the hallway.

The floorboards creaked as I closed the door behind me. Having no windowpanes, only shutters, caused draughts, and the bedroom doors would slam with the slightest breeze. Right now, I had a ghost problem and a draughty slamming door was just a jump scare waiting to happen.

Salem growled and then swore. “After everything I have done for you. This is how you repay me.”

“Oh, please.”

I crept to the end of the hallway, poked my head around the corner, and peered into the kitchen. A fire was burning in the iron stove. The table had been set for one, with a plate of steaming French toast, and a large tankard of ale next to it.

The ghost was a translucent white apparition. It had the appearance of a plump older woman, not ugly but not overly attractive either. She looked like your typical farmer’s wife standing there at the counter, elbow deep in a real bucket of hot water, washing dishes. She wore a long dress, had her hair tied up in a bun, and except for the whole being a ghost, things seemed quite normal. She was even humming to herself while smiling.

I stepped back. “She made breakfast.”

“Yes.”

“Why?” I didn’t bother hiding my confusion. Salem and I were past that.

Salem sighed. “I would leave you ignorant out of spite, but I need you to remove this creature. Ghosts come about from violent deaths. They are a corruption of the deceased’s magic that has caused an imprint on the world around them. They have no thoughts or feelings of their own, only memories which they are formed from. Those memories can be good or bad. This one seems to fit into the good memories category.”

I frowned while wiping the sleep from my eyes. “How can you tell?”

“It’s not crying or reliving its death.”

I nodded. That made sense. “Okay, so she’s making breakfast because she had a good memory of making breakfast.”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t seem so bad. She’s even doing the dishes. Why do I need to get rid of her?”

“Because it petted me,” Salem said angrily.

I ignored his reply as my stomach grumbled. “What happens if I eat the food? Do I die or get possessed?”

“No. The food is food. Its actions are a memory, an echo of the past. It will behave as close to its original memory as possible, incorporating those around it into them.”

“Cool,” I said, stepping out of the hall and into the kitchen.

I headed for the table, walking carefully, as I eyed the French toast. I’d never learned how to cook. I either ate out or had things like TV dinners or ramen. The only meal I could cook on my own was an omelette, which is why I made the four-mile walk to the inn every couple of afternoons for a hot dinner. The only items I had in the pantry were ale, dried fruit, dried meat like salami, and the stale bread I’d bought a couple of days back. There were also the eggs from the chickens I’d purchased when I moved in, but those had come in sporadically. Hopefully, now that the farm was active, they would lay their eggs in the coop. So with that in mind, I was more than happy to sit down to someone else’s cooking, even if that someone else was a ghost.

About three steps into the kitchen, the ghost turned to me and smiled. “Good morning, dear. Breakfast is on the table.” She had a pleasant, motherly tone that made me think of Mrs. Claus rather than any ghost from any horror movie I could remember.

I turned and looked at Salem, hiding at the edge of the hallway.

“It has probably put you in the place of its dead husband,” he explained.

“What do I do?”

“Leave and contact the wizard.”

I turned back to the ghost and smiled. “Good morning…ah, honey.” I went and sat down at the table. As I picked up the utensils, the ghost walked over and gave me a peck on the cheek. The cold hand on my shoulder and colder touch on my cheek threw me for a second, but before I could do anything more than flinch the ghost faded from the world. The only sign left over from its presence was a chill that ran through me.

After a few seconds of discomfort and a little fear-induced adrenaline, my stomach rumbled. I dug in. As the first bite of buttery egg goodness met my tongue, I smiled. The ghost could cook.

A minute passed. Salem walked over and leapt onto the table, glaring at me. “You are not keeping it.”

“I wasn’t even considering it?”

“You have no control over it, and the fact that it appeared immediately after you activated the farm means it has a consistent routine.”

I stopped eating, French toast halfway to my mouth. “Wait, are you saying that she will cook breakfast every morning?”

“Among other things. We would have to study its behaviours to learn its eccentricities, but you are going to get the wizard and remove it.”

I looked at the plate in front of me and then over to the dishes that had been cleaned. “Now, let’s not be hasty. Why don’t we give her a chance?”

“I will not be petted like a common animal. You will get the wizard.”

“If you don’t want to be petted, stay out of her way. And how did she pet you anyway? You are insanely fast.”

“It crept up on me while I was sleeping by the fire.”

“Don’t sleep by the fire then.”

Salem glared for a second. “I hate you.” Then he leapt off the table and walked away.

“Don’t forget we’re going to bait the forest before dusk,” I shouted as he retreated.

My smile returned as I finished eating. I threw my plate into the hot water, washed and dried it, and then took the dirty water outside and tossed it. Meals took so much longer without indoor plumbing, stoves, and dishwashers that I was looking forward to the time she would save me.

I knew Salem hated to be petted, and yes, this was quite literally the only thing he had ever asked me to do besides help hide him from a murderous demon, but it was hot food. He was asking too much.

My smile and cheerful mood faded as I made my way to the barn to collect my tools. There were a few different ways you could farm. But for a basic crop like squash, it took a twelve-day rotation. That meant you planted out an entire field at once and went through each stage, doing slightly different jobs each day.

Day one was hoeing the soil and planting. Days two through five were a variation on watering and weeding. Day six was a rest day where you didn’t have to do anything, but only if you had done your job correctly the other five days. Days seven through nine, you did more watering and weeding. Day ten, you harvested the crop and pulled out the plants. Day eleven, you turned everything which wasn’t produce back into the soil, and day twelve was another rest day. Then you rinsed and repeated.

Let me tell you, the six-day week took me a while to get used to, mainly because they used the same number of days in each month as back home for their calendar. The fact that everything more or less shut down on that sixth day was also a surprise. Apparently, that wasn’t the same in the cities, but out here in the sticks, everyone took the day off. It kind of sucked that there were no public holidays or festivals, except for the solar festival, and that only occurred once or twice a decade and no one knew when it would happen.

Even though I was now used to the six-day week, I still occasionally made the mistake of thinking of a week as seven days. And I’d confused numerous people by incorrectly referencing a week, turning up a day later than they expected.

I collected my tools and seed and headed for the field. The field interface blinked into existence the moment I stepped onto it, indicating where I was when I finished the day before.

It was incredibly helpful.

The spot where I called it a night was highlighted by a blue overlay, showing that the area hadn’t been done. The blue contrasted with the green area I’d already completed, showing I was about a third of the way through. I got to work, turning over the soil and planting seeds. None of the squash would start growing until after the next sixth day, even if it was all planted; the farm's magical growth was tied to their calendar. There was no way around it.

My method was less than ideal. There were literally dozens of techniques I could use to improve the quality of my final product, but all of them took extra attention and time. The purpose of my farm wasn’t to grow crops, only to meet the minimum requirements for a functional farm, so I continued to work haphazardly.

My stamina bottomed out long before I was finished and I headed inside to eat. I was thankful that bottoming out your stamina didn’t leave you incapacitated. However, it did leave you with a feeling of bone-weary exhaustion, the likes of which I’d only experienced that one month I’d had a personal trainer and attempted weight training. You could still function without stamina, but only at like 60%, and it was hard.

The frustrating thing was stamina didn’t replenish on its own, and it dropped slowly over the day. You had to eat or sleep to gain it back. It was the only way. There weren’t any potions that could do it. However, different foods gave different amounts of stamina over different lengths of time, so as long as you chose your meals carefully, it wasn’t too problematic. But if you didn’t pay attention to the details, you would get fat from eating high-calorie foods with low stamina gains which I think had happened to the previous owner of my body.

With my measly 100 points, that didn’t affect me, though. My stamina was so low almost any food would get me back to full, but Salem had told me about adventurers with ridiculous amounts of stamina who could only eat expensive, specially-prepared meals. So, I ate a couple of handfuls of dried fruit, refilling my stamina, and went back to work.

Salem came and found me a few hours before dusk as I was finishing off planting. I didn’t bother questioning how he could arrive precisely when I was ready to go. Though he hadn’t told me anything himself, I’d managed to learn a little about familiars over the past eight months.

To begin with, they were rare and every wizard wanted one. Familiars were a living reservoir of power, entirely devoted to their master and actually stronger than them. The bond a familiar had with their wizard meant that their attributes increased whenever their master’s did, but they also leveled independently.

His master had apparently been level 99 which made the damn cat a wrecking ball, even in his weakened state. He was far more capable than I could ever hope to be as a farmer, and the only reason I’d survived my time in The Wild Woods, or felt safe enough to attempt luring monsters to my farm.

“The day grows short,” Salem said curtly.

“I’ll hurry.”

I picked up my tools and seed bag and wearily made my way to the barn. The tools went away, stuffed into a corner, and the machete came out.

I grabbed a handful of feed and made my way to the chickens pecking at the ground around the coop. A large stone sat above its entrance, resting upon a sliding door that could drop and cover the entrance if the wedge holding it up was pulled out. It was there to lock them away if something showed up or lock something inside if it got in.

The chickens clucked happily as I approached. They seemed much better behaved now that the farm was active. For the past couple of weeks, they’d been hiding most of their eggs leaving me to find them in all sorts of weird places. Now that the farm was active, they all laid them inside the coop.

I tossed the crushed maize on the ground and they all came running. Not wanting to play favourites, I grabbed the first one that came close by the neck, turned it upside down and grabbed its feet before carrying it around to the other side of the farmhouse where I had put a chopping block for this purpose.

“Sorry about this,” I said as I placed the fighting chicken on the block. The machete went up, and then the unlucky bird went to chicken heaven.

I began plucking feathers as the body thrashed. I wasn’t planning to eat it, so I didn’t do it nearly as cleanly as Gretel would have demanded, though I probably should have for the butcher skill experience. Once the job was done, I took the machete and quickly chopped the bird into chunks, throwing the pieces into a wooden bucket.

With my bait ready, I collected a spear and we headed to the forest. At the edge of the tree line, Salem took off scouting the area ahead, making sure we didn’t inadvertently walk into a monster and trigger a combat situation that would be pointless.

Today’s plan was simple. I would walk a mile into the woods and create a trail of blood and chicken chunks that led back to the farm. Hopefully, something would come across the trail and follow it back.

It was the simplest of our plans. There might have been better ways of doing it, but this entire endeavour was an experiment. Starting simple was the whole point. If this didn’t work then we could try something a little more complicated. I didn’t want to start with something complicated, only to find out six months from now that a simpler, cheaper approach would have been sufficient.

To be honest, I wasn’t holding out much hope that this would succeed, but it was a start.

* * *

Three and a half weeks. Three and a half weeks of nothing. Well, not nothing. Twenty-one chickens made their way to chicken heaven.

I finished my last bite of sausage, patted my stomach appreciatively, and glanced over at Salem. The ghost had long since pecked me on the cheek and vanished, which was the only reason that Salem was in the kitchen, lying on the stones by the stove, enjoying the warmth.

“Let’s change it up today,” I said.

Salem, head resting on his front legs, opened an eye to look at me. “Change what up?”

“The luring tactics.”

Salem snorted. “I honestly thought it would take you another week to see the idiocy of our current venture. How did you want to proceed?”

“Well, you keep saying the monsters follow the trail to the edge of the forest but don’t go any farther. I’m thinking we should start targeting specific monsters. You can scout where their hunting grounds are, and then we bait them towards the edge of the forest from there, instead of just letting a random one come across the trail. If we get their attention, we keep baiting the same path, drawing them back repeatedly. Hopefully, after a few days, they will get brave enough to leave the woods and come to the farm.”

“You don’t want to try using the live bait?”

I cringed. “I’d rather not be so obvious as to stake out a line of live chickens to my farm just yet. It’s kind of a hard thing to hide, even if I don’t have neighbours.”

“And you have to get up shortly after dawn to release them.”

“And that.”

Salem yawned, stretched out his legs, and then climbed to his feet. “I still think live chickens are the best option, but we can try it your way. Anything specific you wanted me to target?”

“Let’s start small,” I said, picking up my plate and carrying it over to the waiting bucket of hot water.

Salem nodded, yawned one more time, and then walked out of the room. I heard him jump, the backdoor handle click, and then a few seconds later, the door slammed shut.

God, I hoped this worked.

9

A LITTLE SUCCESS AND A TOUCH OF HOME

“You are going to die, fox!” The words tore from my throat as I tugged the rope attached to the wedge keeping the chicken coop’s entrance open. The small door slid down the guide rails, dropping shut, weighed down by a large, fifty-pound stone. The chickens trapped inside went ballistic.

Excitement flooding me, I dropped the rope, picked up my spear, and then removed the lantern's hood. The light threw off the shadows blanketing the room, and I opened the shutter further, illuminating the ground between the glassless window and the chicken coop.

Salem casually pushed the other shutter open with his paw and then leapt onto the ground, kicking up dust. “That was a terrible battle cry.”

“I had to yell something,” I said as I climbed through the gap that passed for a window in my farmhouse.

“You didn’t…it’s a mindless beast. Yelling at it is counterproductive.”

“You’re counterproductive.”

Salem sauntered ahead of me, moving around the side of the coop to where I’d left the stepladder. “That is a lie. I’ve been nothing but productive. I found you this fox, and in just six days, helped you lure it to your farm with tasty treats so you could do away with it.”

I swallowed, a small shiver running through me. “Could you maybe not describe it like that? I feel kind of dirty now.”

“No. It is an accurate description of our endeavour.”

I scowled as I followed him to the side of the coop and began climbing the stepladder. The chicken coop wasn’t just a chicken coop, just like the barn wasn’t just a barn. They were both traps. But since I didn’t want to accidentally kill my chickens by dropping them in a pit and impaling them on spikes, this trap was rather limited in what it could do.

I put the lantern on the hook, which had been placed there for this exact purpose, and then removed the pins that kept the corner of the roof from blowing open. With a little hesitation, I raised my spear and carefully lifted the corner of the roof. The orange light showed the carnage within. Feathered blood lay everywhere. Half of the twenty or so chickens I kept were already dead and the little bastard was shaking its next victim.

I stared at it, just long enough to analyse it.

Then I struck, stabbing down with my spear.

Maybe I could have saved the chicken and aimed my spear a little better, but I didn’t. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and quite frankly, I wanted the experience too much to screw it up. So, the spear went through them both.

The fox squirmed for a few seconds, tugging at my spear until I slammed him into the wall, at which point it went still. I gave him another stab to make sure he was dead and not playing possum and then closed the lid and went around opening the front the way I would if I were collecting eggs.

The moment the front entrance opened, the chickens made a run for it, throwing feathers and loud fearful clucks in every direction. I ignored them. The fox carcass held my attention. Nervous excitement and no small amount of trepidation swelled inside my stomach as I reached out and touched the small orb floating above it.

Well done, you have killed a Spiked Fox. Would you like to loot it for experience and loot?

Yes/No?

I selected No and touched my hand to the fox’s corpse instead. The loot orb wasn’t how farmers gained experience. A prompt appeared.

Well done, you have successfully defended your farm against a Spiked Fox.

An electric shiver ran through my fingers and I held out my right hand the way I would when I received experience from a crop. A small, pea-sized green crystal coalesced on my palm.

You have earned 2 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

Yes/No?

I selected No again.

“It worked,” I said with a grin. “It really worked.”

I held the little green crystal out to Salem, grinning ear to ear. I’d done it. I had gotten experience from killing a monster. Well, technically, it was from defending my farm, but the result was the same. My plan worked. I’m embarrassed to say I started dancing.

“Don’t get too far ahead of yourself,” Salem said. “This was a simple spiked fox, a farm predator, if you will. We still have no idea if this method will work on a larger, more dangerous monster. If it only works on foxes then it isn’t a success.”

My rhythmically-challenged jerking motions stopped as I turned to glare at the cat. “What are you talking about?” I growled. “Of course it’s a success.”

Salem rolled his eyes. “You killed six chickens to get it here and then lost another, one, two…ten chickens before you could kill it. That is sixteen chickens to kill a fox. At five coppers a chicken that’s 80 coppers—or 1 silver noble and 30 coppers—as pure expense. Now, with that much money, you could have purchased three experience, at base, which by itself sounds like a poor investment, but you add in six days of your time and the cost of the farm, it turns into a terrible one. Once you’ve added those costs, even if you were successfully able to bring in a fox every six days, without the additional loss of chickens, and this was a small farm with only four fields rather than the fifty-five you are being taxed upon, this whole situation would still be a financially poorer investment than actually farming.”

“If you were trying to kill my enthusiasm, you succeeded.”

“I was. And of course I did. I succeed at all my endeavours. Now that I have curbed your stupidity, I believe tomorrow we should go after something bigger. There is a small pack of wolves that I’ve been tracking. If you collect these chicken carcasses tomorrow we will leave them a feast they cannot ignore.”

I looked at the mess inside the chicken coop, and then back at the house and my waiting bed, but it only took a half-second glance in the direction of the field for my energy to skyrocket. No matter how annoying this was, it was still better than farming.

* * *

The sound of a wagon rolling down the road towards my house pulled me from my breakfast the following morning. I left my plate on the table and made my way to the backdoor, checked that the lever attached to the trapdoor outside the back entrance was firmly in place, and then quickly stepped on and off the trapdoor I’d built into the veranda, to see who was here.

My haste wasn’t because I didn’t trust my work. It was because I really didn’t trust my work. I usually used the windows to enter and exit my house. However, that looked weird, and I didn’t want to be known as the village weirdo, on top of being the village pervert, so I had to put up with the creaking sound that occurred as I stepped on the trapdoor and heart attack that followed as I stepped off having survived the experience.

Nervous sweat spread across my body as my heart rate finally slowed. Rimble, Blackwood’s tax collector, drove his wagon down my dirt road towards me, unaware of my near-death experience. The grumpy old goat sat on his seat scowling at the world around him, angry as the day he was born, or so Gretel said. I’d never seen the old man smile and didn’t expect it to happen today.

He grunted as he brought his wagon to a stop beside me. He had five days of patchy beard growth and wrinkles deep enough to hold a hand of poker. “I’m here to pick up the king’s portion.” His tone had that gritty, dry, angry old man quality that told you he blamed everyone except himself for his problems.

“The barn is in front of you. Go right ahead,” I said, not wanting to talk to the old man more than I had to.

“I’ve been informed I’m to collect your entire measly crop as taxes.”

“That’s right. I don’t eat squash.”

My second harvest had come in a few days ago, which meant I had 80 units worth of squash sitting in my barn. A unit was how they measured food here. It basically equated to enough calories for a single meal and differed from produce to produce.

“Plant something else then. It’s not worth my time coming out here just for 80 poorly-grown units of squash.”

Rimble flicked his reins, and the wagon moved forward, going around the turning bay in front of the barn to stop side on before the open door. There was a flash of light and the squash I’d stored in the barn appeared on the back of his wagon. Rimble gave his reins another flick, moved forward to finish the turn, and continued on his way back to the village.

I shook my head. My farm didn’t have indoor plumbing, but it had teleportation. It made absolutely no sense.

Salem sauntered around the corner, carrying a live mouse in his jaw. He saw me staring down the road and turned and looked at the retreating wagon before continuing on his way, smug as anything.

I went back to breakfast, going through the window rather than tempting the trapdoors a second time. When my meal was finished and the dishes were done, I went outside and checked the chicken coop. I’d cleaned up the dead birds as well as I could in the middle of the night, but there was still a lot of blood left behind.

I started by opening up the front and pulling out the bloodstained hay. Once that was done, I got a brush and more than a dozen buckets of water and washed inside. I had no idea if this was actually something I had to do, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt, and it eased my guilt over the massacre I’d let happen to gain experience.

Even after I cleaned the coop and replaced the old straw with new straw, the chickens weren’t happy, clucking nervously when anything came too close. That wasn’t exactly a surprise. I figured it would take a few days for their nerves to settle. If they didn’t, well…it wasn’t like they were going to live that long anyway.

With everything clean, I checked the coop to make sure all the latches and the quick-release door were working. They were.

Checking the coop made me realise I should probably check out my other traps. I hadn’t done anything to them since I’d finished installing them and I was already afraid of the two trapdoors at the house, so regular maintenance was something I should probably start doing.

It was quite possibly a really good idea.

The longer I considered it, the more pressing the issue became. I mean, last night I successfully attracted a monster. Sure, it had been a fox, but Salem wanted to go after wolves next. And not one wolf either, but a pack. I didn’t want a malfunction to occur when they turned up.

Suddenly, my day of farming was off the table. I had maintenance I needed to do.

I decided to start with the two trapdoors at the house. The trapdoors were eight-foot squares with hinges on one side. The other side was held up with a trigger-like mechanism that had a rope attached to a lever which I could pull from inside the house to drop the trapdoor.

I got the oil can from the barn and then went inside and pulled each lever, opening the trapdoors. Both traps worked flawlessly, dropping the floor and exposing a ten-foot-deep pit lined with sharpened wood spikes.

The house’s trapdoors had each taken me about a day and a half’s worth of digging to create. They would do their job fine, but weren’t designed for anything larger than a man. I put oil on the hinges and trigger mechanism and reset the trapdoors before checking on the big one in the barn.

The barn trapdoor was fifteen feet across and dropped into a spike pit twenty feet deep. I’d dug down far enough that I’d needed to reinforce the walls with wooden planks to keep going. The depth was so the massive trapdoor didn’t take out any of the four-foot spears at the bottom when it opened.

It and the falling spike rack that hung above it with a thousand pounds of stone on top were my troll killers. I’d taken the Darkwood’s history seriously. If a troll or ogre ever showed up to eat me, my only chance of survival was the barn trap, which was why I kept the barn door open at all times. Despite how lethal the traps seemed to me, Salem was quite sure the pit and spike trap wouldn’t kill a troll or ogre outright, which was why I had piles of straw and jars of 80% alcohol moonshine nearby.

I didn’t like the idea of burning something alive, but I liked the idea of being eaten even less, and I’d been told twenty feet wasn’t too high for an injured troll or ogre to climb out of.

If you didn’t include the two cages with the pressure plates, the only other traps in the barn were the log swing and another two sets of falling spikes.

For the log swing, I’d suspended three large logs in a row, binding them together with ropes so they could swing towards the barn door. I’d gotten the idea from Home Alone. The scene when the burglars were climbing up the stairs only to be knocked back down by paint cans always made me laugh. I had no idea if the logs would work the way I hoped—knocking something back into the pit—but they were simple to build and hopefully I’d never have to find out.

After oiling everything and checking that they worked, I left the barn and made my way around the property, checking the other camouflaged pitfalls I’d dug. For the most part, they were still well hidden, but there were a few that required touch-ups.

I even receive a prompt and a rank up.

Well done, you have successfully maintained your pitfalls and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitfalls. You can now boast that you can make a pitfall as well as any Initiate.

After the rank up, I didn’t notice any details around the pitfalls that could be improved upon, but then I didn’t expect to. Tool proficiency and lore proficiency rank ups were only noticeable if you were actually below that level of capability, like when I had ranked up with the spear. I’d been so ignorant that even the slight improvements were noticeable.

Checking that everything was working correctly and resetting the traps safely took me past lunch, so I decided to take the rest of the afternoon off and read a book.

As I headed back to the house, I spotted a large wooden tub out on the veranda and groaned. I liked my ghost. Every day she cooked me breakfast, and every three days she did the laundry. Her tenth day mayhem, where she ran through the house laughing for fifteen minutes, didn’t bother me at all, but every ninth day she pulled the tub out onto the veranda, heated a whole lot of water, and then took a bath. It was not a pretty sight—and that was her in the tub.

I’d experienced this before. She’d go back and forth between the tub and the kitchen, naked as the day she was born, refilling the tub with hot water as her ghostly presence quickly sucked the heat from it. She’d go on like that for hours.

The sight of the tub changed my plans.

I’d been intending to go to the village and purchase more chickens in a few days, but now seemed like a better time. I thought about taking in the experience I’d earned from the fox to show Jeric but decided against it. Salem was an ass, but he had also been right. The experience I'd received wasn’t proof of anything. It was better to wait until I had something more concrete.

So, I went into the house through the window, grabbed my coin pouch, and then made the hour-long walk into the village.

Walking down the main road on the village's eastern side always reminded me of a zombie apocalypse. Every farm either had the burnt-out shell of a barn or farmhouse and a run-down version of the other. Goblins, for some reason, only ever burned one or the other, never both. The east gate was closed, as usual, and the guard in the tower told me to go around the other side, even though I was already headed that way.

I glanced at the palisade as I made my way past the farmhouses. It was in a poor state. Some of the logs had begun to rot. They weren’t falling apart yet, but given a few more years, the wall wouldn’t keep anything out. The village didn’t have the money to repair it. They didn’t have money for a lot of things, from what Jeric had told me.

I made my way through the west gate to Gretel’s and went inside. It was empty. I walked up to the bar and placed two silver nobles on the counter as she came out of the kitchen. “Afternoon, Gretel. I need another twenty chickens. When do you think I can pick them up?”

She looked at the two silvers on her counter. At five coppers a chicken, the price was a little steep, but Gretel knew all the local farmers. She was their main buyer for live chickens and I didn’t want to step on her toes. She’d been good to me.

I fished out another copper and added it to the silver. “And, I’ll take a Sommertown ale.” The local ale was absolute crap.

Gretel smiled and finally swiped the coins off the counter. “I can have them ready by tomorrow afternoon or the morning after if that works better for you.”

“Tomorrow afternoon’s fine,” I said. “What’s the news?”

She shrugged as she picked up a mug and went to fill it. “A village called Bertwine was massacred by goblins and hobgoblins a few days ago. No one is sure how many there were as no one survived to tell, but the royal investigators believe there might have been tens of thousands.”

I’d studied the maps in the inn enough to recognise the name. “Bertwine, wasn’t that village only five days south of here?”

She nodded, not seeming worried. “The orcs are having food issues again, it might be war, or it might be nothing. It’s caused another migration away from the southern border villages. It triggered the dungeon in Worland to grow another floor which has the northern adventurers all excited. They’ve swarmed the city in search of loot.” She finished pouring the ale and slid it across the bar to me.

“That’s the blacksmithing city, right?” I wasn’t surprised by the prospect of war. There always seemed to be some sort of calamity occurring in the kingdom.

“No, Worland’s known for books. It has the greatest library in the kingdom. You’re confusing it with Warlan…”

“Everyone does,” I said sarcastically.

Gretel snorted. “So, how is farming treating you?”

“Oh, just great. Rimble came by this morning to complain about my first two harvests, which earned me under a noble, and up until this ale that was the highlight of my day.”

“If you need cheering up, I’ve had a few more ladies inquire about you and your dungeon since we last spoke.”

I was mid-swallow.

I coughed and spluttered and wheezed my way through the next few seconds. Once my lungs were clear, I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve and glared at her. She had waited until I was drinking on purpose. She was laughing too hard for her not to have.

I sighed; ten weeks and she was still teasing me. “Don’t you have anything else to do besides pick on us poor defenceless farmers?”

Gretel shook her red mane. “Not at all.”

We chatted for a few more minutes and then I swallowed the last of my ale and handed her back the empty tankard. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m going to go see if Jeric has—”

As I turned to leave, I spotted an acoustic guitar sitting in the corner of the room. It wasn’t flashy or an overly expensive looking instrument, but its presence stunned me.

I wasn’t an amazing guitarist by any standards, but I could play most modern pop songs, a little bit of old school rock, and a fair bit of country music. My father had taught me how to play, hoping that he could make his nerdy son a little bit cooler in the eyes of the opposite sex. It hadn’t really worked out that way, but I was glad he’d taught me.

Something clicked in my head, and I turned back to Gretel. “How much do you want for the guitar?”

Gretel paused, momentarily thrown by the change in subject. “It’s not mine. It belongs to a travelling bard. She arrived late last night, woke me up, and had the audacity to ask for a discount. She’s out in the village trying to badger people into coming for a show.”

Her scathing tone shocked me. Gretel had always been easygoing and approachable as long as I’d known her. “You don’t like bards?”

“No.” Gretel’s tone told me if I asked a follow-up question, somehow I was going to get in trouble.

“I’ll take another ale.”

She frowned. “I thought you were going to visit Jeric?”

“After,” I said, sitting back down.

I spent the next hour and a half nursing ales as I waited for the bard to show up. Gretel had jobs to do, so after the first half-hour, she left me alone to take care of myself.

Let me tell you, putting your money on the counter and getting up to pour your own ale in a tavern is kind of great. It makes you feel like you belong, far more than it should.

Eventually, the bard walked in. How did I know she was the bard? Simple. I’d been in Blackwood long enough to know everyone by sight if not name, and no one in the village dressed like they were part of a mariachi band.

She wore a bright-coloured vest and trousers with a blouse that was 80% frills. The bizarre outfit was offset by the most striking blue eyes I had ever seen and hair the colour of charcoal, a black so black it seemed to absorb light. She was not sexy or beautiful, but there was a striking power to her features that stopped her from being unattractive.

She had that sort of face you wouldn’t forget, which was probably due to her class rather than some fluke of genetics. She saw me watching her and smiled. I’d had a friend in high school whose father was a used car salesman and her smile reminded me of him.

Bard Malia

Before she could start talking, I cut to the point. “Malia, I’d like to buy your instrument,” I said, pointing to the guitar.

Her smile vanished. “It’s not for sale.” Her voice had a slight husky roll with a sexy as hell undertone.

I nodded, having figured as much. “Then, I would like to hire and play it for an hour and I would like to know where you purchased it.”

She scowled and walked towards her instrument. “You have no idea what you are asking of me, sir.”

“I do,” I said before taking a sip of ale. “And false anger isn’t going to get you anywhere. How much?”

She paused and turned back to me. “Ten coppers for the information and to hire it for an hour.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I said as I pulled out my purse and counted out the coins and then handed them over.

She swallowed as she approached and took the money, counting out the coins. “You’re not going to haggle?”

I shook my head, stepping past her to head for the guitar. “I’ve been waiting long enough to realise my request is rude, so paying a price that hurts is only fair.” I picked up the instrument feeling the familiar weight and ran my fingers along the strings. The sound that came from it was all wrong. The strings were tuned to different keys. I glanced at the bard. “Is it okay if I retune this to what I’m used to?”

She was still staring at the money in her hand. She slowly looked at me. “What?”

“Is it okay if I retune this?”

“It’s your hour.” She took a step to the side, pulled out a chair, and sat, staring at the money. “If you break anything you’re paying for the replacement along with any lost revenue.”

“Deal.”

It took me a few minutes to retune the guitar and then I gave it a strum. Perfect musical notes greeted me.

Well done, you have successfully tuned Malia’s guitar to a perfect standard and gained a new tool proficiency. You can now boast that you can use a guitar as well as any Novice.

Malia raised an eyebrow. “How did you gain a new rank just by strumming it?”

Glowing, I grinned. “An ale says I gain another rank before my hour is up.”

She frowned and then shook her head. “No bet.”

I ran through a couple of basic exercises to remind my fingers what they needed to do. It had been months since I played, and it hadn’t been in this body.

Once everything was right, I looked at the bard, met her lovely blue gaze, gave her a wink, closed my eyes, and played “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” singing along.

It wasn’t nearly as cool as it sounds. I’ve been told I sing like a kicked goat.

I lost myself in the music. Seeing the guitar was like seeing my family. Only it was here. It was a piece of home I’d forgotten I had with me. Playing, I could forget where I was, pretend I was home even if it was only for a little while.

When the song finished, light enveloped me.

Well done, you have successfully played an original composition with Malia’s guitar and gained a new rank of proficiency with guitars. You can now boast that you can use a guitar as well as any Initiate.

I dismissed the prompt and moved onto another song and then another. A memory of life, love, and joy came with each song. I was lost in my own world. I barely noticed when I gained the Apprentice rank. But all too soon, Malia was clearing her throat, and my hour was over.

I opened my eyes to see her sitting in the chair closest to the stage. She had her feet up on another chair and was watching me with a saucy smile on her lips. “I’ll give you another two hours if you teach me how to play that third song.”

10

TESTING, EXPERIMENTATION, AND MAYHEM

A wolf’s low growl came from just beyond the shutters. The worn oak spear shaft sat comfortably in my grip as I waited, crouching beside the window. Only a few feet separated predator and prey. I was close enough to hear the wolf inhale, before it sniffed, tasting the air.

My heart hammered. Excitement was overriding fear.

The chickens in the coop clucked nervously, sensing danger nearby. The survivors of the quilled fox incident were probably having PTSD flashbacks. A second low, hungry growl answered the first and then a third. The pack leader moved away from the window towards the coop, appetite outweighing caution.

I heard a chicken die, as something went crunch, and a cluck cut off. The sound was quickly followed by chaotic squawking as the survivors went berserk, realising their senses weren’t lying and that they were in danger.

Using their noise to cover my actions, I slid the shutter open a few inches. In the moonlight, I could make out one of the wolves as it began to eat. It was roughly the size of a German Shepherd, small for a wolf, but big enough to be dangerous. Another wolf growled to my right. More sounds of death followed.

I glanced down at Salem expecting the signal, tightening my grip.

He shook his head.

This new method of attracting monsters had brought a pack of six wolves to our door in only three days. That was much faster than the fox. And I didn’t want to lose them. I’d read that the village’s aura made weaker monsters like wolves more likely to run than fight; a farm dog was usually enough to scare them off. They wouldn’t stay unless they absolutely had to.

If my plan worked, we were going to give them that reason.

Another minute went by. The wolves pawed at the chicken coop, trying to fit more than just their heads inside. They couldn’t. That didn’t stop the chickens from throwing a fit, slamming their bodies at the back wall hard enough for the noise to spook the wolves.

Eventually, a few of the wolves gave up and went searching for easier prey. A moment later, they found my bait, metal scraped against metal and the wolves went ballistic, growling and barking.

A fierce grin spread across my face. That sound was like cashing a cheque and watching your bank balance increase. The first of my two steel cages had worked, trapping a wolf inside. The others began pawing at the metal trying to free it.

Now we had to see if the second cage would work too.

I only had to wait another few minutes for some of the hungrier wolves to get bored of trying to free the one trapped in the cage and return to searching for food.

The second cage triggered and metal scraped against metal, causing the already agitated wolves to frenzy.

“Now you can bait them,” Salem said.

“You think?” I replied sarcastically, leaving the room for the front door.

I removed the lantern’s hood as I crept through the house, silently wishing I could afford to buy those glowing crystals Jeric had in his manor. The light the lantern supplied flickered sporadically, casting shadows across the walls.

I opened the front door, gingerly stepped across the corner of the trapdoor right outside, and then walked a few paces along the veranda towards the chicken coop. The lamplight slid forward until it hit the chicken coop and the edge of the two cages.

A single wolf stood trapped inside each cage, hackles up and mouth foaming with agitation. They stared at their free companions, whining from behind bars. Blood dripped from the free wolves’ mouths, showing they had tried to pull apart the steel cage with their teeth when digging under it failed. As one, all six turned to me. Their eyes glowed, reflecting the lantern light. The largest wolf looked at the two trapped in the cages and came to a decision. Protect the pack.

It charged me.

The others followed.

Adrenaline spiked as I turned and ran to the front door, diving inside. I put the spear against the wall and grabbed the door and lever, waiting. Their paws scraped along the veranda as they ran. A thin film of sweat covered me as the distance between us shrank.

I held my ground until they were only a few feet away and then slammed the door shut in their faces. A body struck the door, shaking the frame. The wolves howled, their first truly loud cry, as they tried to force their way inside, clawing at the door.

I pulled the lever. There was a brief moment of resistance as my strength fought against the pin holding the trapdoor closed, and then the lever dropped. I heard wood strike wood, a single yelp, and then barking mixed with whines.

Success.

Another grin spread between my cheeks as I picked up my spear and headed to the bedroom closest to the barn. This was too easy. They were nothing but stupid animals.

Inside the room, I threw open the shutters and climbed outside, silently making my way to the front of the house. I had my spear in front of me as I stepped around the corner, searching for the wolves.

This wasn’t supposed to be a fight. This was supposed to be a slaughter. If everything went to plan, I shouldn’t even break a proper sweat.

“Here, doggy doggy doggy, come get your manwich. I’m nice and juicy.”

The closest of the three remaining wolves turned, following my voice. I had half a second to realise I was looking at the largest one and then it leapt in my direction.

I turned and ran down the side of the house, past the open window, heading for the backdoor where my other trapdoor waited. My feet skidded around the corner as I raced for the door. The wolf's heavy panting and deep growl got closer and closer as its faster legs shortened the distance between us. Excitement turned to fear as the gap shrank to almost nothing within a few feet of the backdoor.

“Shit!”

Without slowing, I shoved the lantern into my spear hand, juggling the cumbersome items as I flung open the backdoor. The door bounced off the wall, as I grabbed the doorframe to arrest the last of my momentum and pull myself inside.

The wolf leapt at me as my body changed directions. Its teeth nipped the edge of my shirt, just missing my back, as it landed on the trapdoor.

My right foot landed on the threshold as the veranda under my left foot collapsed. The trapdoor had triggered, slamming against the pit wall above the spikes. The wolf and I began to fall.

My heart rate climbed as my hand holding the doorframe caught my weight, slowing my descent. My grip wasn’t right for the angle of my body and it immediately began to slip. I tried to grip the doorframe harder, panicking, but only succeeded in flailing wildly and accidentally slamming the spearhead into the floorboards just inside the entrance. There was half a second of alarm as the spear and floorboards decided whether or not it was going to hold and then I stopped moving.

For another half a second, I just hung there, halfway inside, halfway out, leaning back over an open trapdoor filled with spikes. Then I pulled myself inside.

I took a shaky breath, trying to stop myself from freaking out over what had almost happened.

I turned to see the trapdoor open, pit exposed. The wolf that was now whimpering in the bottom of the pit was huge—easily three times the size of the one I’d watched eat the chicken. It had to weigh more than I did. It lay impaled on two-foot-tall wooden spikes, dying slowly.

“You came to the wrong farm, dog,” I said, trying not to laugh at my bad joke, as the chemical rush of having survived by a complete fluke threatened to leave me hysterical.

I hadn’t trusted my trapdoors. It was validating and terrifying to know that my instincts were correct. A large part of me wanted to get a stiff drink and slap myself for not coming up with something better sooner. I’d only walked across the trapdoors a handful of times, but any of those times clearly could have ended with death. I hadn’t even been putting all my weight on the trapdoor when it had triggered. That meant it didn’t take our full combined weight to cause it to malfunction and drop without anyone pulling the lever.

If I had ever carried something heavy across…

Well, now wasn’t the time to think about that.

I closed the door.

“You left the window open,” Salem yelled.

I turned just as a wolf leapt out of the spare room, where we’d watched the chicken coop from, charging straight for Salem, only to run headfirst into the hallway wall as the cat had already moved. There was a loud thump as it collided with the wall.

Oops.

The wolf shook its head, trying to recover. Without hesitating, I grabbed my spear in both hands and charged, slamming the tip into the wolf’s side. The point slid between its ribs, going deep with the weight of my body behind it. Once it stopped penetrating, I gave it a sharp twist to do as much damage as possible. My time in the forest with Salem hadn't been wasted. A wolf was nothing compared to a puma.

The wolf groaned and its legs collapsed.

That was, of course, when the second wolf hit me. The lantern went flying. I lost the spear as teeth and claws tore into me. Shadow danced across my vision in the low light, making it impossible to follow the wolf’s quick movement.

Salem was the only reason the wolf didn’t immediately get my throat. He was there running interference, slamming his body into the side of the wolf’s head to distract and disorientate.

It still wasn’t enough.

You have taken 6 piercing damage.

You have taken 7 piercing damage.

The wolf got hold of my leg and pulled me from my feet, shaking me for everything it was worth. Muffled growls filled the hallway as it tried to hamstring me from the front. Sharp flashes of pain ran through my leg, screaming for a reaction, but I knew that the worst of the pain hadn’t even touched me yet. Running on adrenaline did that to you.

I yanked my belt knife free, turned and thrust the blade towards its face, only to have the point bounce along the bone of its skull.

Salem came in from above, leaping off the wall, diving down to slam into the back of the wolf’s neck. The distraction was enough to stop it shaking me. I went for another strike.

The spare room it had entered through suddenly exploded as something truly massive crashed through the window, sending splintered wood flying through the open door into the hallway.

The wolf and I both froze.

We stared at each other, unsure whose fault the explosion was.

The wolf sniffed, holding my leg between its teeth. Its eyes filled with panic, but it was too afraid of me to release my leg. A green, platter-sized palm with salami fingers shot out of the door to the spare room into the hallway and grabbed the wolf’s whole back end.

The wolf opened its jaw and turned, trying to bite.

Fuck me, that’s a big hand.

The thought flew through my brain as I rolled over and scrambled away, grabbing the lantern while clambering to my feet. Blood smeared my leg, and my trousers were ripped enough to see the damage beneath. It looked like I’d just added to my puma scars. Hopefully I would live long enough to see the results.

Salem leapt off the hallway walls using them like a floor and landed by the backdoor ahead of me. “You have a troll problem. Hurry up.”

I yanked my spear from the first wolf to use as support and shuffled down the hallway on my injured leg. I threw open the backdoor to escape, only to then remember that the trapdoor was down.

The wolf whimpered below as I stepped inside and grabbed the board I left against the wall in case I needed a bridge. I threw it across the gap.

Wood strained behind me as I stepped onto the board. I glanced back to see the ten-foot-tall troll trying to squeeze itself into my hallway. It had a bloody wolf carcass in one hand and was attempting to pull itself forward with the other, trying to crawl its massive frame into the too-small hallway.

“Nope, nope, nope,” I said as I hurried to the other side of the board. Once there, I figured I was in the perfect position to slow the creature down. I planted my feet, lifted my spear, and threw, aiming for the centre of the creature. The spear flew fast, hitting the creature’s right pectoral.

The spear quivered, anchored in muscle, and the troll looked down.

“Congratulations, you took down 1% of its health,” Salem said. “Would you like to try again?”

“Fuck no.”

“Then get to the barn, idiot. It will run you down over open ground.”

I turned and hurried towards the barn, limping and cursing myself for throwing away my support. The sounds of tearing metal came from the direction of the chicken coop, as my health bar in the top left corner of my vision blinked.

“Oh, crap,” I said, wincing in pain, without slowing. “Tell me that’s not one of the caged wolves getting free.”

“It is not the wolf getting free,” Salem said.

Relief flooded me as I glanced towards the sound. What I had mistaken for a shadow behind the coop straightened, and a thirteen-foot-tall humanoid appeared above the top, limbs twice as thick as the specimen I was currently running away from. “Tell me that’s not a second bigger troll,” I said as we hurried to the barn.

“I can’t do that.”

The troll pulled the wolf from the cage and stuffed half of it in its mouth before I ran out of sight.

I charged inside the barn across the trapdoor and grabbed the jar of moonshine I kept on a shelf. I tore the seal off the jar and ran to the line of hay next to the trapdoor to pour the contents on top. Within a second, I had my lantern open and a wad of hay lit. I tossed the fire starter on the line of moonshine-soaked hay and then limped to the back of the barn where the levers that controlled my traps were located.

The flames quickly grew, and within ten seconds, I had the inside of the barn lit well enough to see by. There was a small chance I’d burn the building down around me but if I lasted long enough for that to happen I would consider it a positive outcome. A tremendous growl came from outside the barn and then I heard the troll move around, headed for the door.

“Any tips, Salem?” I asked as I lined up the other jars of moonshine.

Salem sighed. “The troll inside your house is only level 18. This other one is 27. If you somehow manage to kill it, you might be able to scare off the weaker one.”

“Can you provide a distraction?”

“I will do what I can, but I am not indestructible. These creatures are big enough to slowly squeeze me to death if they catch me.”

The high-level troll came into view, moving through the dancing light of the burning bales.

Nothing in my life had prepared me for seeing a troll in the flesh. I mean, I’d seen basketball players before, so I’d thought I had some point of reference to compare them to when Salem said trolls were between ten and fourteen feet tall.

I was completely wrong.

I chalk that up to natural human failing. When someone says a troll is twelve feet, you immediately think it’s only as big as a tall guy standing on another guy’s shoulders. That doesn’t seem so big.

What twelve feet tall actually means is that the creature’s arm is wider than your shoulders and bigger than your body, and if you curled into a ball you would be smaller than its head.

The last time there had been this kind of size difference between me and something that was human-shaped, I was three or four years old. Think about that. I was a fully grown man and I was about the size of a three-year-old compared to it.

I didn’t stand a chance.

The troll roared. The force slammed through my body, vibrating my bones, causing my muscles to clench and lock.

You have been stunned.

Dark green skin covered thick, slab-like muscles. Its arms were elongated, with its hands resting at knee height. It had a mouth full of misshapen fangs and eyes that were entirely black, so you couldn’t see what it was staring at, but I knew it wasn’t me. Otherwise, it would have charged.

You are no longer stunned.

I took one look at it and forced a grin that I no longer felt back onto my face, trying to convince myself I was excited rather than terrified. “Here, boy. Come here, boy. Come get the tasty human.”

It growled, seeing me beyond the flames, taunting it, and charged inside. The moment its foot hit the trapdoor, I pulled the lever.

There was just enough time while everything moved for the troll to take another step and be fully on top of the trapdoor before the fifteen-foot square of floor dropped from under it. The troll vanished, falling below the flames.

I didn’t hesitate.

I didn’t have that sort of luxury.

The moment the troll disappeared, I pulled the second lever. I watched as the spike fall secured to the ceiling fell twenty feet and then vanished into the pit.

The troll let out a second scream of pain as the metal spikes bit into its head and shoulders. The scream reverberated through my body.

Well done, you have successfully used a spike fall to injure a Troll and gained a new rank of proficiency with spike falls. You can now boast that you can use a spike fall as well as any Initiate.

Salem shot forward to investigate as I dismissed the prompt. “It’s still alive and has about a third of its health left. Don’t give it time to recover.”

I picked up four of the jars of moonshine and limped around the flames to the hole and started hurling them in. The jars shattered against the quivering stones I’d used to give the spike fall weight.

I’d needed the extra weight of the stones to drive the spikes in deeper, but now the stones were acting as a shield, covering the troll’s back. That was a problem. If I survived this I would have to fix that for next time. I continued to throw, praying like a sinner on his deathbed that the moonshine would leak through to the troll underneath.

The monstrous creature was on its knees, judging by the height of the rack. And it appeared to be trying to lift the rack off of itself.

As I threw the last jar down, I went for my pitchfork, picked up a burning pile of hay, and tossed it into the pit.

As anyone who grew up in the country will tell you, it’s never a good idea to cover something in a highly combustible fuel and then stand next to it while lighting it. But I didn’t grow up in the country.

An explosion filled the pit, flashing upwards, striking my face. My body instinctively leapt away as the wave of heat slammed into me. I hit the ground backwards, rolling, patting myself blindly. It took several seconds to realise I wasn’t burning. At which point, I opened my eyes and took a breath.

Oops.

The only thing I could smell was burning hair.

The troll screamed as it burned, shouting a single sound over and over again.

“Is that a word?” I yelled at Salem as I crawled to my feet, wiping my eyes. I stumbled towards the levers and the rest of the moonshine.

“I believe it is a name.”

“You told me trolls aren’t sentient,” I said, as I grabbed another jar of moonshine and basketball-shot it into the pit. The flames rose higher.

“Being able to speak does not imply intelligence.”

I tossed in another jar of moonshine. “What does it imply, then?”

“Nothing. It is what you do with speech that indicates intelligence and even then you require some form of originality. After all, a crow may quote the greatest philosopher of a generation without ever understanding the words they quote.”

“Okay, I’m going to agree with you now because this isn’t the right thinking environment, but I feel like we need to have a long talk about what you do and do not accept as sentient beings.”

Salem turned to me and smiled, showing small sharp teeth. “To answer your unasked question, no, you do not count.”

There was a crash that came from my house's direction, and my back shutter went flying, landing thirty yards away in the middle of the long grass. I threw the second to last jar of moonshine into the pit, causing another whoosh of flames, and then picked up the extra spear I kept next to the levers. I’d been leaving old spears anywhere I thought I might need them and was glad I had been right.

The other troll roared as it ran into view. It ignored me as it headed straight for the pit, stopping at the edge to lean down and help.

Calmer than I should have been, likely because I’d gone temporarily insane, I picked up the last jar of moonshine and threw it at the new troll’s head. The jar flew straight, shattering against the top of the troll’s hairy skull, soaking its hair and head without causing any other noticeable damage.

The distracted troll didn’t react until the flames licking the side of the pit caught the alcohol dripping from its hair, turning it into a living birthday candle. The creature screamed in painful rage as it beat its massive fists against its skull to extinguish the flames.

There were two seconds of struggle as it thrashed about, and then the creature leaned the wrong way and fell into the pit.

A prompt filled my vision and light enveloped me.

Well done, you have successfully killed a Troll with a trap. You have acquired a new skill, Trapsmith.

Skill: Trapsmith

Level: 1

Effect:

+2% to your trapsmithing ability.

+2% to your effectiveness at locating and camouflaging traps.

I blinked, light painting me as a target. “That was easy.”

“You have an almost childlike level of stupidity,” Salem replied. “You killed the one it fell on top of. It has more than two-thousand health and your little fires have taken away a few hundred at best. You’ve just succeeded in making it mad.”

Right on cue, the troll’s hands appeared along the edge of the pit, and it began to pull itself out. I dismissed the prompt for the new skill.

Well done, you have successfully used a pitfall to kill a Troll and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitfalls. You can now boast that you use a pitfall as well as any Apprentice.

There was nothing I could do. The troll was on the barn's far side, and my remaining traps didn’t reach that far. I dismissed the new prompt.

Well done, you have successfully used a spike fall to kill a Troll and gained a new rank of proficiency with spike falls. You can now boast that you use a spike fall as well as any Apprentice.

I dismissed the prompt, starting to get annoyed with the number of prompts I was receiving.

Well done, you have successfully used a pitfall to kill a Troll and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitfalls. You can now boast that you use a pitfall as well as any Journeyman.

The troll got to its knees just outside the barn as I dismissed yet another prompt. It reached up and wiped away the skin and hair that was on fire, literally peeling off its face in the process.

Well done, you have successfully used a spike fall to kill a Troll and gained a new rank of proficiency with spike falls. You can now boast that you use a spike fall as well as any Journeyman.

I barely noticed the prompt I dismissed. “Shit. That was a boss move. I mean, if you wanted to intimidate someone with how tough you are, peeling off your own face has to rank at the top of that list.”

“Agreed,” Salem said.

Most of the flames vanished with the skin and hair, but there were burning spots all over its body where alcohol clung. The troll turned and glared at me, ignoring its injuries, and then it let out a roar and charged, leaping over the flaming pit, only to run face-first into a swinging log as I pulled its lever.

Almost a thousand pounds of log met the troll’s stomach, knocking it backwards with a crunch, returning it to the flaming pit. The troll’s landing had the annoying side-effect of snuffing out most of the remaining flames.

Well done, you have successfully used a log swing to injure a Troll and gained a new rank of proficiency with log swings. You can now boast that you can use a log swing as well as any Initiate.

I looked up at my two remaining spike falls. They were to the left and the right of the logs. They were my only remaining traps.

Salem rushed forward. “Charge, you idiot! It will not go under those traps.”

I grabbed my spear and headed for the pit as fast as I could on my wounded leg.

Salem reached the pit before I’d taken my first step and was looking down into the smoking hole. “You need to stab it in the eyes and blind it. You have only taken down a third of its health. You have got to cripple it enough to make it run.”

Due to my injuries, I only reached the pit at the same moment the troll regained its feet. With its hands occupied trying to climb out, there was nothing to protect the massive face that appeared in front of me.

Through a wall of smoke, I slammed the spear into the left eye socket. The spear dug deep, yanking free from my hands as the troll turned its head away, roaring with pain. It reared back, releasing its grip on the edge of the pit, simultaneously trying to swing for me and move away from the source of its pain.

I threw myself to the side, just out of its reach, and felt a stinging sensation shoot through my injured leg. I glanced about, looking around for a replacement weapon. The only thing within reach was the pitchfork I’d used to move the burning hay. I quickly scooped it up.

By the time I had it in my hand and was back on my feet, the troll had its knee on the edge of the pit and was lifting itself up again, holding a handful of the stones I’d used to weight the spike fall down with.

Shit.

There was no time to hide and nothing to hide behind. This version of my trap system was never designed to deal with two trolls at once. I grabbed the shaft of the pitchfork, aimed, and threw it, and then tried to get out of the way as the troll hurled the handful of melon-sized stones towards me.

I didn’t make it.

You have taken 16 bludgeoning damage.

You have taken 28 bludgeoning damage.

You have taken 5 bludgeoning damage.

You have sustained a severe injury and are under the effect of a slow bleed. You will take 1 damage at random intervals until you can stabilise your condition.

Pain exploded across my arm and leg as I was picked up and thrown through the air. I collided with the barn wall only a few feet away, hearing something crack as the troll screamed.

Well done, you have successfully blinded a Troll with a pitchfork and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitchforks. You can now boast that you can use a pitchfork as well as any Initiate.

I glared at the bastard as it yanked my pitchfork from its other eye and began to pull itself the rest of the way out of the hole. I knew I had to move quickly if I wanted to get away from this asshole. I dismissed the prompt to clear my sight.

Well done, you have successfully blinded a Troll with a pitchfork and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitchforks. You can now boast that you can use a pitchfork as well as any Apprentice.

I dismissed the second prompt as the troll lifted its other leg over the edge of the pit. I pulled myself to my feet.

Well done, you have successfully blinded a Troll with a pitchfork and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitchforks. You can now boast that you can use a pitchfork as well as any Journeyman.

Oh, come on, I needed to see.

I dismissed the new prompt.

Well done, you have successfully blinded a Troll with a pitchfork and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitchforks. You can now boast that you can use a pitchfork as well as any Adept.

“Are you kidding me!”

I dismissed the prompt as I shuffled backwards.

Well done, you have successfully blinded a Troll with a pitchfork and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitchforks. You can now boast that you can use a pitchfork as well as any Expert.

“Fuck off, you stupid prompts. I need to see!”

Well done, you have successfully blinded a Troll with a pitchfork and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitchforks. You can now boast that you can use a pitchfork as well as any Master.

I screamed as I dismissed the prompt.

Thankfully, nothing else appeared.

I tried to take another step away, not looking where I was going, and immediately tripped over the empty moonshine jar I’d used to light the hay wall. The fall sent new spasms of pain through me.

You have taken 1 fall damage.

As I tried to stand, my body didn’t seem to want to respond. It might have had something to do with the fact that the health bar in the corner of my vision was blinking like a strobe light. I started to crawl, trying to put as much distance between me and the troll as I could.

The troll crouched and sniffed, moaning and making a sound like a bellows. It carefully turned to face me and then backed up until it came in contact with the barn. The moment it did, it placed a hand against the wall and the other against the floor. Bloody tears poured from its eyes as it began shambling towards the barn entrance, feeling for the pit.

I stared, surprised by how functional it seemed to be despite being blind. It measured the edge finding a path and stepped over the pit before disappearing around the corner. I could hear it heading towards the forest.

I pulled myself back to my feet and tried to take another step. A spasm of pain shot through my leg. My health dropped lower. My head spun and my vision blurred.

Your condition is not stable. You have taken 1 damage.

Salem found me a few seconds later, leaning against the wall panting. He took one look at me and immediately shook his head. “Your health is dropping. You are under a slow bleed effect. Even though you are not mortally wounded, you still might die if it reaches zero…if you want to stop that, you should claim the dead troll’s experience.”

“You couldn’t have led with that last part?” I said, wincing in pain. I felt like shit, and it was hard to focus, but he was right; I didn’t feel like I was dying.

There was another burst of fire from my right leg as I put weight on it, but I ignored that as I walked the few yards to the pit. The moonshine had mostly burnt out. I’d have to invest in something that lasted a little longer next time.

Salem moved around me and knocked the wooden ladder off the wall by jumping at it. With an annoying amount of ease, he shoved it into the smouldering pit, so that it came to a stop with several feet above the edge.

“You are welcome.”

“Thank you,” I said as I grasped the edge of the ladder and started climbing down.

I had to hurry, but I couldn’t go so fast that I fell. My health was bottoming out, and unlike stamina that had serious consequences. I’d do anything from pass out to have a heart attack and die. If the blow had bottomed out my health, I would have died already, but a slow bleed effect meant there was a chance I could stop that from happening.

There wouldn’t be if I fell.

I decided my right leg was definitely broken when I tried to put all my weight on it, only to feel a level of agony I didn’t know existed and watch everything go all starry for a few seconds. Only my death grip on the ladder kept me from falling.

Smoke choked my throat and eyes and I did my best to hold my breath when I reached the bottom.

“Get on your knees and follow my voice,” Salem said, leaping down beside me. “I will lead you to where you need to go.”

I did as he instructed and a few seconds later my fingers brushed the troll through a gap in the stones. Its skin was hot, hotter than the stones from the fire. It was also baby-smooth and greasy, but I couldn’t tell if that was its natural state or the effects of setting it on fire.

Well done, you have successfully defended your farm against a Troll.

I held my right hand out and felt a cantaloupe-sized green crystal form.

You have earned 47,682 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

Yes/No?

Holy shit, Yes.

Congratulations, you have acquired enough class experience to increase your Farmer level multiple times. Further growth has been blocked by your first threshold. Excess experience has been banked until you have passed through.

Class: Farmer

Level: 24

Effects:

+24% to farming ability.

+24% to farming ability while on your farm.

Your Strength has increased by 11

Your Endurance has increased by 12

Your Agility has increased by 11

You Constitution has increased by 12

You have 23 unassigned attribute points.

Would you like to assign them?

Yes/No.

There was no rush of power and strength, probably because everything hurt like hell. The only noticeable difference was the burning in my limbs grew a little less pronounced and it wasn’t quite as hard to hold myself up. I selected No as I followed Salem’s voice back to the ladder.

You have promotions available. Would you like to select your promotions?

Yes/No?

I selected No again as I gripped the ladder and began climbing.

Congratulations, you have reached level 24 and have advanced enough to reach your first threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

I dismissed the prompt.

The trip up was worse than the trip down, and by the time I got to the top, all I could do was roll away from the pit and gasp like a fish, choking and coughing up my lungs.

Several minutes went by where all I could do was exist, but eventually, my head stopped spinning, and I took an inventory of my condition. My right leg was broken and so was my left arm. I had several large lacerations on my legs which were slowly bleeding, and there was about two golf balls worth of flesh missing from one calf. I tore my shirt apart and started making bandages.

I needed medical attention.

Salem appeared after I was done bandaging myself up. “The troll has fled back to the forest. I suggest you kill the surviving caged wolf, loot the corpses so they vanish, do the same for the troll, and then go to the village for treatment.”

I winced, fighting to stay conscious. “Can’t you get them?”

Salem paused. “I could run with a note, but that would require bringing them here, and they would see your traps. If you are willing to let others know what you are doing, then I am willing to go and get them, but if you would like to keep them hidden, then I can hide your traps while you are gone.”

I turned to the barn. The hay had almost burnt itself out and the fire showed no signs of spreading. By morning the smoke should have cleared. He was right. I could keep this all a secret if I chose. But I’d have to walk four miles on broken and chewed-up legs. For a second, I looked down at myself and wondered, was this really better than farming?

Then I brought up my 23 unassigned points and dumped them all into charisma.

Yes. Yes, it was.

11

THE NEXT STEP

I was lying in my old room in Gretel’s inn, dozing in the afternoon sun, when Salem came through the open window, waking me. I opened my eyes slowly, lazy from injury and exhaustion.

Salem leapt onto the floor before sauntering over to the door and shouldering it closed. “We need to talk.”

The last of my dream faded, taking with it the disjointed memories that plagued me. The walk to the village was an experience I’d rather not remember even in my dreams. The guard on duty had let me through the east gate, which they’d never done before, and he even ran ahead to wake Yaceb.

The kind old healer saw to my wounds, but even with my new charisma I don’t think he completely bought my story of having been attacked by wolves. He saw too many broken bones and too much bruising in too many weird places for him to take my story at face value, but he didn’t push me either, quietly pretending I hadn’t lost most of my eyebrows.

He gave me herbal tea to help speed my recovery and I slept for almost a day. I’d woken long enough to move into the inn and eat a solid meal and then I was out for the count.

I moved aside The Farmer’s Guide to Farming that I’d been reading before falling asleep and gave Salem my full attention, trying not to look at my health bar which was still only a third full. “Did the troll come back?”

“No, it fled deep into the forest. We will not see it again.”

“Any idea why they showed up? There is nothing in here.” I tapped the book to emphasise my point.

Salem shrugged. “It is plausible that the troll’s arrival was a complete coincidence, but it’s highly unlikely. If you remember back to when we began this endeavour, I told you that you may not have been the first to have come up with this method and that whoever came to the same conclusion may simply have been killed in the attempt. The arrival of the trolls and the lack of new level for your Wiseman title points to that possibility.”

“No trolls showed up when we baited the fox,” I countered, though I had been thinking something similar.

“Correct. And I do agree with you to a certain degree. Trolls are fast, but they are also noisy, which scares away most prey. It is possible that the trolls were using the wolves to hunt, stealing food from them once they made the kill. They can’t outrun wolves in a forest. However, once the wolves have brought down their prey, the carcass is an easy target, and the wolves would not be foolish enough to fight the trolls for it. Perhaps when we lured away the wolves, they followed, thinking they would steal an easy meal. In which case this whole incident might have been a horrible run of bad luck.”

“But if it wasn’t…then luring out one predator might always lure out a second,” I said. “We might have to face a similar scenario each time.”

Salem nodded. “There is also the possibility of a limit. Weaker monsters like the fox might be safe to lure, while stronger monsters like the wolves are not. We need to do further experimentation.”

“For that, we need to improve the traps significantly,” I said, suppressing a shudder. I’d been prepared for one troll, but not two. I’d been lucky. Really lucky. I never wanted to have to be that lucky again.

“Agreed. Now you should probably consider going outside Blackwood to have these new designs constructed. The villagers here talk too much and serious improvements will be impossible to hide from them if they are the ones making the equipment.”

“Yaceb said it will be six weeks before I’m fully recovered, so we’ve got the time. Now we just need a plan.”

* * *

“Your math is wrong,” Salem said several hours later. “There is no way you can fit that in the barn.”

“My math is perfectly fine. I’ve measured this out twice.”

“There is your problem. You should have gotten someone competent to measure the space, not someone who insists upon using your stupid units of measurements.” Salem leapt off my bed onto the windowsill, stopping me from giving a scathing reply.

“Where are you going?”

“To measure the barn. There is no point in us planning any further until we have accurate measurements.” With those words, Salem leapt from the window and was gone.

I scowled at the vacated space, muttering darkly. His condescending attitude was really annoying, even after all these months. I knew the dimensions of my own barn. I turned back to the sketch I’d been making and my mood didn’t improve. I was far from dumb, but there were still rules I didn’t know about in this world, and I didn’t want to waste time making plans that were impossible.

I put the sketch aside and looked around for something to do. I was on bedrest for the next couple of days. My gaze landed on the book I’d been reading before I fell asleep and I dismissed reading it as an option. I’d read it enough times to almost repeat it verbatim. The only reason I’d been reading it at all was I thought I might have missed something.

I hadn’t.

I opened my pack and pawed through, looking for something to pass the time. I’d thrown a lot of items inside before heading for the village. I quickly found my deck of cards. As I tried to pull them out, my money pouch spilled open and the green experience crystal I received from defending the farm against the wolves fell out, touching my skin.

You have found 6397 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

Yes/No?

I pulled my hand away and selected No. Another prompt appeared.

You have promotions available. Would you like to see your promotions?

Yes/No?

I stared at the prompt for a few seconds. In my haste and then injured state, I’d completely forgotten about my promotions. I selected Yes.

Congratulations, you have reached level 10 and advanced your Farmer class. You may now select your first promotion from the list. Remember, you can only select one promotion and all decisions are final.

Horticultural Care- Crops that grow on your farm are 5% less affected by pest and disease.

Quality Fertilizer- Crops that grow on your farm require 5% less fertilizer.

Special promotion requirements met: Reach level 10 using experience predominately gained from defending your farm from monsters.

Special promotion: Monster Bane- Monsters are 10% less likely to enter your farm.

Promotions were something all classes received every ten levels. They had several different effects depending on your class and many of them literally defied the laws of physics. The first two options were in the book beside me. They were the standard promotions every farmer could choose. The third special promotion was not.

I picked up the book just in case and skimmed through the list of promotions. The list went all the way up to level 100 and included dozens of special promotions and their requirements, but I didn’t see any called “Monster Bane.”

I pulled out a sheet of paper and made a note copying the special promotion word for word. I had no interest in the promotion, but I didn’t doubt there would be someone out there who would want it. And it would be a total waste not to record it. I wrote it down on the paper and then put everything aside and looked at the options again.

My gaze hovered over “Horticultural Care.”

Sure, there were people out there that produced amazing quality crops through skill, dedication, and commitment, but I wasn’t one of them. My two crops had come out as barely edible, which hadn’t bothered me until now.

I hadn’t expected to hit my first threshold this quickly. But now that I had, quality was an issue. There were numerous ways to break through the level 25 threshold listed in the book, but the fastest of all of them revolved around quality. All I had to do was grow 100 crops of exceptional quality food and I would be able to pass through the threshold.

Usually, farmers that reached this point had most of the requirements met in one way or another and would only have to do the last little bit that put them over the edge. However usually didn’t apply to me. I was going to have to start from square one. Basic crops like squash allowed you to magically grow one field to begin with, but added another one every time you gained five levels in the farmer class or skill, so I could now theoretically plant out five fields at once, or six with the 18% productivity buff I received from Jeric being in charge of the village. That meant six months of hard farming to level further at the very soonest and it would require I make no mistakes. And that was about as likely as me waking up one morning and looking forward to farming.

Thankfully, this would be the only time I’d have to farm my way through a threshold myself. Once I became a farm manager, the next three thresholds could be achieved by employing people. But this one was going to be all me.

I looked at the promotion options one more time, knowing that I could upgrade the promotions further with farmer promotion crystals. But I’d need to buy those from the adventurer’s guild as there was no way to do it through leveling. Knowing all that, I wasn’t happy with the options I saw or what they meant.

However I looked at it, this was going to be expensive in either time or money.

Sure, high quality produce sold for more in places like the capital, but most people got by on decent quality food or lower. So I wouldn’t make much extra money by having better quality food, only get to my threshold faster. So anything I spent to improve the quality of my crops was just going to be an extra cost.

But if I didn’t pay that cost in money, I would have to pay it in time. It would take me almost twice as long to break through the threshold if I focused on yield rather than quality. At the end of the day, I wanted out of the farmer class as fast as possible. If I was going to choose anything, Horticultural Care would be it, and I’d have to spend the money.

However, I wasn’t entirely sure that was the right decision so I dismissed the list. The moment the prompt vanished, another appeared.

Congratulations, you have reached level 20 and advanced your Farmer class. You may now select your second promotion from the list. Remember, you can only select one promotion and all decisions are final.

Animal Husbandry- Animals that grow on your farm are 5% less affected by pest and disease.

Animal Fertilizer- Animals that grow on your farm produce 5% more fertilizer.

Special promotion requirements met: Reach level 20 using experience predominately gained from defending your farm from monsters.

Special promotion: Monster Terror- Monsters are 10% more intimidated when on your farm.

I picked up the book for a second time and skimmed through the area with the promotions, looking for the Monster Terror promotion. I didn’t see it or expect to. I grabbed the sheet of paper and copied down the new special promotion word for word. I still had no interest in the promotion, even though I knew how much it would have helped with the troll. Maybe if I had had this promotion then the damn thing would have seen the one in the pit and run.

Again, I wasn’t sure what the right course of action was, so I dismissed the list.

As the prompt disappeared, yet another one appeared.

Congratulations, you have reached level 24 and have advanced enough to reach your first threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

As there was no question to answer, the prompt eventually faded on its own.

I pulled up my stats.

I’d certainly grown a lot in a short amount of time. Though I couldn’t really tell from examining my body. There were no bulging muscles or rock-hard abs. I didn’t suddenly feel healthier or faster. The only profound change was my teeth. They were straighter. As a kid back home, I’d had braces to correct them. The guy who had my body before me hadn’t been so lucky. My teeth had been a bit of a mess and were a minor annoyance. However, now my teeth were nearly as good as they used to be.

A knock at the door pulled me from my navel-gazing.

“Come in,” I said.

Jeric opened the door, took one look at me, and froze.

I’d never seen someone see a ghost, even though I lived with one, but I imagine they would have looked like Jeric. The blood left his face as his skin turned pale, immediately aging him. It took several seconds for him to gather himself before he could finally splutter, “It worked.”

“Not exactly,” I said.

My reply seemed to shock him further because he stumbled to the chair in the corner of the room and collapsed.

I leaned over the bed, picked up my crutch, and pushed the door closed with it.

The slamming door seemed to startle Jeric out of his state a bit. He glanced at the door and then back to me. “Sorry, what…how…so many levels.”

“Wait, what level do you see?”

“Twenty-four,” Jeric replied.

“Damn. Okay, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to have to explain how it grew so fast.”

Jeric nodded numbly. “I won’t, but Redcliff and the captain will see your level as easily as I can, and the villagers might notice the slight change in your appearance. Your exploit worked.” He said it as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“Ah, kind of.”

Jeric’s eyes went wide. “You were meant to be higher?”

“Lower, actually.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

I sighed and waved for him to close the window. “I can trust you, right?”

Jeric nodded as he walked across the room and shut the window. “You can, but I would be willing to take an oath, under the circumstances. I’ve never seen anyone level so quickly. What you’ve found could change the world.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Not unless I can get it to work properly.”

Jeric growled as he sat back down. “You keep insisting your exploit hasn’t worked despite your level. I need some sort of explanation or this conversation will drive me mad.”

I stared at Jeric for nearly a minute, and then I reached into my pack and removed the experience I received from the quilled fox, but never absorbed, dismissing the prompts as I handed it to him. “That was my first success.” Jeric wasn’t a farmer, so I didn’t fear him absorbing the experience, but giving it to him would allow him to see the amount.

He turned the green crystal over in his fingers, staring at it for nearly three minutes, before handing it back. I put the crystal away and pulled out the one I’d received from killing the wolves. The great thing about looting corpses was you only needed access to one wolf corpse to gain the loot from all the others. The same applied to gaining experience when defending the farm though you could choose to loot them individually instead of as a group if you wanted to.

I put the much larger crystal into his hand. “That is most of what I was supposed to have received from my last attempt.”

Jeric stared at the apple-sized green crystal for a few more minutes before finally saying, “This is an incredible amount of experience. It’s worth more gold than most farmers make in a decade. How can you say you’ve failed?”

“I was supposed to get that experience without breaking a sweat, but instead, I nearly died.”

Jeric glanced at the arm and leg splints before moving on to all the other bandages. He let out a slow breath. “There are many who would say the risk was worth the reward.”

I stared at him for several seconds, annoyed with his statement and with myself. When I first arrived in the village, I would have agreed with him. Now, I just shook my head tiredly. “Those people are fools. It’s only luck that I am here to have this conversation.”

Jeric frowned. “So your method doesn’t work?”

“I didn’t say that. This test might have been a profitable failure, but my method still requires more experimentation.”

“And if it works, this is what I should expect you to achieve.”

“That and more.”

Jeric smiled and leaned back in his chair. “You are an interesting man, Arnold. But you are also hopelessly obvious.” Jeric took a deep breath and then outlined what he thought I was doing to gain experience. My jaw kept dropping lower and lower. He didn’t have all the details right, like my trapping system, but he wasn’t far off.

For some reason, by the end, I wasn’t annoyed that he had figured it out. I was kind of impressed. “You haven’t got everything, but you are close. What gave it away?”

“It wasn’t just one clue, though the crystal sort of filled in the blanks. A wolf attack is a serious danger. So when you handed me roughly the experience a farmer could expect to receive for defending his farm after killing a small pack and then said that you had been expecting it…well, that made the whole enterprise kind of obvious.”

“How did you know farmers received experience for defending their farm?” I couldn’t hide my shock.

“I’ve made it a point to study our class ever since our talk. I had a friend send me several books on the subject and baiting monsters came up as I read. There was even a reference to what you are attempting to do that is several centuries old.”

My mouth dropped open. “I need to borrow that book,” I blurted out. “Also, what happened?”

Jeric’s jaw tightened. “Everyone involved died. The farmer’s combat capabilities weren’t great enough to overcome anything but the most basic threats and monsters won’t appear if there are warriors close enough to help.”

Well, that was because they hadn’t used traps. Taking a troll or large monster on face-to-face was pure suicide. Hell, taking on a pair of wolves without Salem was probably suicide.

Then I had another thought. Jeric had said our class. As in, we were both farmers. “Jeric, why did you say our class?”

“You know I have the farmer class, right?”

I frowned. “No, you’re a noble.”

“Yes, and as a noble, I have access to three other classes of my choice, like an adventurer. I can choose one from the production classes, one from the craftsmen classes, and another from the combat classes. I thought you knew. I was touched by the fact that you trusted me with your experience, but now I’m guessing you were ignorant.”

“You have three extra classes. Do you get the full benefits?”

“Almost. Since I’m not technically a farmer, but a noble, I don’t have thresholds, which makes it easier to level and gain promotions, but it also means I can’t receive the threshold boons. I also don’t receive attributes when my sub-classes level.”

“Okay, that’s kind of cool, but why the hell would you choose the farmer class?”

Jeric raised an eyebrow at me like I couldn’t really ask a question that dumb. When he realised I was being honest, he continued. “I’m the mayor of a farming village. It helps the people under me if I share their class. Now please, tell me you aren’t just luring random monsters to your farm to fight or I will end your experiment now. We are friends, Arnold, but I will not let you endanger the people under my care in such a foolish endeavour no matter how much you or I stand to personally gain from this.”

For a second, I almost told him to fuck off. Who was he to tell me what I could and couldn’t do on my own land, but the impulse only lasted that long. Jeric had done everything he could to help me, bending all sorts of rules, even giving me the land for free. He was my friend and ally. He’d proven that time and time again.

More than that, though, he actually cared for the villagers. He tried to do his best by them. He tried to do his best by me. He would only interfere if he had a good reason and just one look at my beaten and broken state meant I couldn’t say he didn’t have a good reason.

“Here’s what I’m trying to do,” I said, and then I laid out everything for him, holding nothing back.

It was the financially riskiest decision of my life. Jeric seemed like an honourable man, but there was too much money and experience involved for me to say he might not be tempted to take my method from me. And since my method wasn’t an exploit, letting others find out about it before I was ready would mean I had to compete with them economically. And I knew I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t rich or powerful. Not yet.

Jeric listened, periodically asking questions. When I was done, he knew every secret about my method that didn’t involve Salem. That secret was even bigger than my trap method and I wasn’t willing to disclose it.

The frown on Jeric’s face wasn’t a good sign.

“What do you think?” I asked several minutes into the silence after I’d finished my explanation.

“I think it is an insane risk…but if there is anywhere this method should be tested, it is right here in Blackwood where that risk is lowest. If you are correct and you can make this method work, all villages in the future will have a line of farms near dangerous areas with similar traps.”

“So you aren’t going to stop me.”

Jeric’s frown deepened. “Stop you? I’m trying to think of a way I can help you.”

Your relationship with Jeric has improved from Friendly to Friend. As a Friend, Jeric can be relied upon to keep your secrets and help you when you are in trouble, but don’t go asking for something crazy, or he is likely to say no.

12

SPRING CLEANING

“How did you manage to close the barn doors?” Jeric asked as I limped down the dirt road outside my house.

Sweat poured off me in the hot midday sun. It was a mixture of pain and personal expenditure that soaked my shirt, making it look like I’d fallen in a pool. Walking all the way here was not my best idea. I’d been fine using the crutch around the village, but four miles was pushing it.

“With a lot of pain and difficulty,” I barked.

That was a lie. Salem shut them, but Jeric didn’t need to know that. The village and its inhabitants were much safer thinking Salem was just a cat.

Jeric nodded as he looked around, taking in every detail. He pointed to the edge of my field. It could be seen through the gap between the farmhouse and barn. “You realise that putting a field that close to your barn causes issues, right?”

I frowned. “What kind of issues?”

“A loss in crop quality for starters, but then there might also be an increase in fertilizer requirements.”

“Don’t care,” I said, losing interest. I didn’t need to fertilize to grow squash.

Jeric shrugged. “Okay, where did you want me to start? The sooner I get this done the sooner you can talk to Brek about the repairs and leave for Weldon.”

Jeric had agreed with Salem’s suggestion for taking the project outside Blackwood. He’d gone a step further and suggested I use the opportunity to contact a farming scholar. Scholars were basically a living Wikipedia. They were half researcher and half teacher. If you wanted to know anything about your class, talking to a scholar who specialized in it was the place to start, but like people doing any job, some were better than others.

There was apparently a very skilled one in Weldon. I hadn’t wanted to go that far as it was an extra three days of travel, but then Jeric mentioned I might be able to sell my special promotions to the scholar. Apparently, they also bought information and if you had information they didn’t have, it could be extremely valuable. Not get-me-to-a-new-class kind of valuable, but valuable enough that it was worth the extra travel.

I was excited to see where this went, but clearing away my traps and cleaning up wasn’t going to be quick. We were looking at two or three days of work. “Let’s start with cleaning up the house. Go in through a window. Do not trust the trapdoors.”

“I remember,” Jeric said, jogging towards the window beside the backdoor. The shutter was several yards behind me, still in the field from when the troll that was too big to fit through the backdoor used it as an exit.

I made my slow miserable way off the road to the gravel path which led to the backdoor. Stone crunched under my feet awkwardly and I put more weight on the crutch. Yep, walking here was a terrible idea. Getting fat sucked, but the little bit of exercise I’d managed wasn’t worth this level of discomfort.

The backdoor opened as I continued to grumble to myself.

Jeric stood in the doorway, his eyes locked down as he pulled the lever. The trapdoor fell, slamming into the side of the pit, leaving a massive hole in the veranda. A boyish grin spread across Jeric’s face. “That was surprisingly fun.”

I nodded.

He wasn’t wrong.

Jeric stepped away from the door and then returned, holding the board, and placed it across the gap. “I’ll meet you at the other window.” He headed deeper into the house.

I carefully climbed the step to the veranda, bypassing the hole and board, and made my way around the side of the house to where the troll entered.

Everything looked different in daylight.

The shutters were gone, torn from the window frame. The room beyond had always been empty since it wasn’t my bedroom or the kitchen, and furnishing it had been an expense I wasn’t interested in paying for. So the only clutter Jeric needed to clear was the broken pieces of shutter, but despite so little debris —the sheer amount of blood made the room a ghastly sight.

Jeric moved among the mess, making a pile out of the wreckage. He looked up at me and shook his head. “I see what you mean. No one is going to believe wolves did this.”

“That’s why I need your help to clean it up,” I said, taking a seat on the window frame. The ache in my legs immediately lessened, bringing my pain down to a level that was only uncomfortable.

“What do you want me to do about the blood?”

“Scrub it.”

“You don’t want me to leave some of the lower marks?”

I shook my head. “Brek’s already kicking himself for moving the farmhouse here. I don’t want him walking in only to be reminded again. Also, that smell is already getting to me.”

“It’s worse in here.”

I grinned. “Which is why I’m sitting outside.”

Jeric scowled without anger. “What happened to the comrades in arms speech you gave me when you asked me for help?”

“It’s out here with me.”

Jeric snorted. “You give any more thought to my offer?”

“I have. I mean it’s tempting. Building an automated trap barn is my ultimate goal, but I’m not comfortable borrowing money from you to do it. Especially when I’m not sure if this whole enterprise is going to work.”

“You should have more faith in yourself, Arnold. Your exploit is incredibly dangerous, but it clearly works.”

“It’s the incredibly dangerous part I don’t have faith in. And it’s not my exploit. You need to stop calling it that.”

“Whether or not you received another level for your Wiseman title doesn’t matter. Your creation is clearly an exploit.”

“The whole point of creating this exploit was to receive the experience bonus from selling it and having others use it for me. No bonus, no selling off the method and retiring to live a life of pampered luxury.” I scratched the back of my neck. “On a completely different note, now that you’ve seen the damage, how much do you think Brek will charge me for the repairs?”

Jeric looked around the room for several seconds. “He is rather annoyed with you, so he will haggle for all he’s worth. I expect he will want his maximum. It shouldn’t be more than 40 or 50 nobles unless you want him to fix the damage to the floors.”

“How bad is it?”

“There are gouges where the troll pulled itself down the hallway that will require you to change the floorboards. I’ll have to hit them with an axe to cover them up or throw a rug over them.”

“I don’t have a rug.”

Jeric grinned. “Axe it is then.”

“I can buy a rug.”

Jeric shook his head. “That could take days.”

“You just want to cause property damage.”

“What’s the problem with that? I find it therapeutic.”

I shook my head and let him have his fun. I couldn’t do the work myself, so a little extra cost was acceptable if I could keep this secret.

Jeric worked through the afternoon cleaning up the hallway, before going down into the pits at the front and back entrances to remove the spikes and fertilizer.

Apparently, I’d been looting monsters wrong the whole time. The random assortment of parts I received wasn’t actually their loot. It was the minimum loot you could receive. Now that I had some levels in my farmer class, looting monsters gave me fertilizer. When I’d asked Salem why he hadn’t told me having other skills would give me more varieties of loot, he’d said I told him I wasn’t interested in loot, so he hadn’t bothered explaining how to get more.

I’d be angry, but if I had the butcher skill, then Jeric would be dealing with piles of rotting meat and hide, along with everything else. There was certainly no way I would have been able to move the extra loot before hobbling to the village.

Once the pits were cleared, Jeric climbed under the veranda and put several pins in place to stop the trapdoors from being able to drop. He then dismantled the lever systems, transferring the rope and pulley system to the space under my bed.

It was late afternoon before he was finished making the house safe. He hadn’t even started on the barn or fields.

“I should head back,” he said while brushing dirt off his trousers.

“There are still a few more hours of sunlight left,” I said, surprised. I had to look up to give my reply. I’d been moving my rocking chair around the house to give him instructions.

Jeric took a slow breath.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m trying to think of a delicate way to put this.”

“Put what?”

“Your farm has a reputation that I’m not comfortable associating with. If I come back to the village after dark or near dark, people might make uncomfortable assumptions about what I have been up to.”

“I do not have a sex dungeon,” I shouted.

Jeric laughed. “Well, sadly you know that and I know that, but the villagers have a different opinion.”

I didn’t bother replying. Nothing I said would win this argument. So I decided not to argue. “What time do you think you will be back?”

Jeric looked at me with a half held smile. “Arnold, let’s be honest. Is there any scenario where I’m not done with my mayoral duties for the day and here before you wake up?”

He did have a point. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Jeric nodded.

* * *

Something unnatural touched my chest, startling me into consciousness. I felt the heat drain from me as a chilly breeze blew across my ear. I stiffened, sensing danger without being fully aware of the source. The cold draining sensation slid across my chest, siphoning more body heat.

I lifted the blankets ever so slightly, fearful of disturbing whatever creature held me, and then opened my eyes to look under the covers. The glowing white hand of an apparition trailed its fingertips across my chest, making small playful circles.

“Oh, you are awake, dear,” my ghost whispered in my ear, her voice mischievous. I knew that tone. I’d had girlfriends. That was a you’re-about-to-get-laid tone, except I really really did not want to get laid right now.

I turned and looked over my shoulder to see my ghost lying on top of my bed, entirely naked, her body inches from my own. A playful smile sat on her face.

Okay, it was time to get out of here.

I tried to roll away. I managed half an inch before my skin pressed up against the hand on my chest, stopping my momentum. It was solid, like tree trunk solid. I pushed harder, giving a slight wheeze with my effort. I didn’t get anywhere.

Since I couldn’t go through it, I figured I’d try going under it. I ducked under the blanket and tried to manoeuvre my way down the bed, but the arm encircling me tightened. Her naked body pressed against my back, pinning me in place. It didn’t feel like skin touching skin. It just felt cold, like lying against a body-sized piece of meat fresh from the fridge.

I shuddered.

The hand started going lower. “Let’s see who else is awake.”

Hell no.

I hadn’t had sex since arriving and several months before that, but there was no way this was going to happen, not even over my dead body or hers.

I tried to grab the hand with my own but my fingers passed right through. That didn’t make any sense since the feel of the arm holding me remained firm.

Fuck.

I began searching my bedroom for a method of escape. The moon was full and in the small amount of light that made its way through the shutters, I couldn’t see anything that would affect a ghost. Nothing affected a ghost. They were a memory. My sleep-addled brain caught on to that fact as her hand came to rest where I didn’t want it to rest. I was playing a part in her memory. She’d change her actions to incorporate things I did. Salem was very clear on that.

I swallowed. “Ah, um, not tonight, dear, I, ah, have a headache.” Have a headache. Come on, Arnold, that is the oldest lie in the book. Think of something better.

“I know something that will fix that.”

Her grip tightened and started moving.

“Alright, stop it!” The words came out in a manly high-pitched shriek.

She laughed, ignoring what I said. “Well, yes, I have had a good day.”

“I’m trying to sleep, Arnold!” Salem shouted from the other room.

“Salem! Help, the ghost is, help! Stop it! Argh, I don’t consent!”

Salem came running into the room, feet pounding against the wooden floor, and leapt onto the foot of the bed, ready to defend me. He stared at me for several seconds as I clawed at the bed, trying to get away.

“Help, do something! She’s touching my dick. I don’t like it.” The last part came out as a squeal.

Salem started laughing.

“Help, you asshole.”

Salem laughed harder.

“This isn’t funny. I’m being molested by a ghost. Do something.”

“Oh, now that she’s petting you instead of me, you want me to do something,” he said, far too happy. “Well, I can’t. I told you it takes a wizard to banish a ghost and I’m just a familiar. I literally can’t help you.”

“Hmmm, he doesn’t seem to want to wake up,” the ghost said.

“That’s because the cat’s on the bed,” I shouted, pointing at Salem. “You know he’s not supposed to be in here. You need to take him outside.” In my panicked state, my charisma must have somehow come into play because I knew I wasn’t coherent enough to say those words while this flustered.

The ghost chuckled. “How did you get in here, Mittens?”

The hand touching my junk suddenly disappeared.

I was free.

I rolled as hard as I could, throwing myself off the bed. Sharp stabs of pain shot through my arm as I hit the floor. I could tell the bone had moved, despite the splint, but barely took note of the pain as I shoved myself upright.

You have taken 3 fall damage.

The ghost had moved around the room and was now between me and the door, trying to catch Salem.

I didn’t think about the consequences. I turned and charged the window, jumping and twisting so my back connected with shutters. There was no way in hell I was having sex with a ghost. Not alive anyway.

* * *

Forty-five painful minutes later, I slammed my knuckles against the red front door of Redcliff’s house. I’d been doing so for nearly a minute, and my knuckles were bleeding, but I wasn’t about to stop.

The house was the second largest in the village and only slightly smaller than Jeric’s, though it was built from wood, not stone, and didn’t have a private wall or gate. The upper floor was devoted to Redcliff’s magical workspace from what Jeric had told me. The bottom was where he lived with his housekeeper.

I didn’t care that it was the middle of the night. I had to get rid of that ghost.

It was a menace.

I was bleeding, and I thought I’d done something to my broken arm and leg after basically jogging to the village, but that could all wait. I needed a wizard.

The door eventually opened and Redcliff stuck his head out. Redcliff was an incredibly short older man, around five foot two. His red goatee actually might have been longer than he was tall, as it was braided elaborately, turning in on its own length several times.

He looked me up and down and frowned.

I leaned heavily against my crutch as I fought to catch my panicked breath. Salem had rescued the crutch from my bedroom and brought it to me as I fled to the village for safety.

I was only wearing a bedsheet and I was lucky to have that. I’d been in too much of a hurry to grab clothing.

“I will not involve my magic in your debauchery, sir,” he said and slammed the door.

I started knocking again. “I have a ghost. I have a ghost.”

The door opened again.

Redcliff glared at me. “How can you be sure?”

“She tried to have sex with me.”

Redcliff started laughing. It began at his eyes, went down to his mouth, kept travelling to shake his chest, and finally, he was slapping his leg. “Yep, that’s a ghost,” he eventually said through wheezing breaths.

“You’re not surprised?”

He shook his head, fighting tears. “Half of all happy ghosts that are adults have at least one memory of sex that they try to reenact. It’s pretty common. You’re not the first person to discover this the hard way. You’re lucky you managed to get away.”

“This is common?”

Redcliff reached out and patted my shoulder, ignoring the sheet. “You’ve had a rough night. Come inside and I’ll get you a glass of something to chase the memory away. Learning you have a ghost can be a traumatic experience.”

I was still in shock, so what I said next can be blamed on that. “Um, I actually knew about the ghost.”

Redcliff gripped my shoulder firmly, losing most of his understanding tone. “And you didn’t come to me to banish it.”

“She makes me breakfast,” I said weakly. “I thought she was safe.”

The grip on my shoulder loosened. “Oh, you lucky bastard,” Redcliff growled, releasing my shoulder fully. “You got yourself a housekeeper. Do you have any idea how rare those are?”

“No. And I don’t want her anymore. I don’t need hot food that much.”

He patted my shoulder, chuckling softly. “Listen, Arnold. Gretel told me you’re going on a trip to Weldon in a few days. It will take me a few weeks, but I can fix up a ward to keep the ghost out of your bedroom.”

“Wait, you can do that?”

“Yes, but if that makes you uncomfortable I can banish it. Which do you want?”

Ten seconds ago, I would have said there was no reason to keep my ghost. It had almost made me an unwilling partner in necrophilia. That wasn’t cool. But that was before I learned I could go back to how things used to be without having to worry about this new problem.

“Ahhh.”

13

NOTHING BUT PROFIT

I hobbled out of the carriage, using my crutch, and carefully climbed the three steps to the auction house entrance. After the incident with the ghost, it had taken another week of rest and recovery for my bones to heal well enough to survive the journey from Blackwood to Weldon. Travelling long distances here was nothing like back home. There were no smooth roads and soft suspension. The jittering eight-day carriage ride had made my arm and leg ache fiercely. But I was here now. That was all that mattered.

I chose my steps carefully as I made my way forward.

The auction house reminded me of those old banks from the turn of the last century. It was built from smooth stone polished to a mirror finish and its architecture screamed grand design. Jeric had arranged my meeting, insisting I buy new clothes. After seeing the entrance, I understood why and realised I had probably been a little too cheap. Thankfully, I’d gone through the trouble of finding a barber and having my hair cut, so I didn’t look quite so wild.

I hobbled through the door up to what could have been the front desk of a five-star hotel. The young woman behind the desk gave a forced professional smile at my approach but didn’t move to help me. I got the feeling I was one wrong answer away from her calling over the guard in the corner.

I started talking before I reached the desk. “I have a meeting with Auctioneer Poler. Would you please inform her I’ve arrived?”

I watched her swallow whatever backhanded, snide insult framed as a question she had been about to ask and instead focus on me so my name appeared, before she consulted her book. After a few seconds, she looked up and plastered a smile on her face. “I’ll tell her now, sir.”

“Could you find me a chair first?” I said, nodding down to my splinted leg.

“You can take mine, sir,” she said as she got up. She picked up her chair, brought it around the desk, and placed it beside me.

“Thank you,” I said, taking a seat. Some of the discomfort vanished. This world had magical healing that could have put me back together within hours. However, the cost of it made the American healthcare system seem reasonably priced. Still, even without it, my recovery time in this world was far better than back home.

I nodded to the guardswoman standing in the corner, noticing she didn’t have a chair. “They have a problem finding funding for chairs?” My tone hopefully let her know I was joking.

The guardswoman returned the nod with a grin. “Chairs don’t fit the atmosphere they are trying to create.”

“Oh, it’s one of those places,” I said drolly, rolling my eyes.

She laughed.

I’d never been particularly good at banter. It wasn’t one of my strengths. Don’t get me wrong, I could talk to people well enough and quite well when it came to all things technical, but casual conversation outside of friends wasn’t something that came naturally to me. Since I’d increased my charisma, however, I’d certainly noticed a difference with my casual interactions.

Words seemed to flow and they put people at ease, much more than they had in the past. I’d had more great conversations with strangers in the past two weeks than in the past two years.

The woman from the desk returned within a couple of minutes, followed by an older woman in a fine, deep green dress. Her hair had been done up in a bun with a pearl clasp and she had other pearls around her neck. A large emerald and gold earring hung from each ear. She had quite a few wrinkles but less than she should at her age, making her look like old money.

Auctioneer Poler

She stopped in front of me and smiled. “Farmer Arnold, thank you for waiting.”

“No problem. Nice to meet you.”

“Would you like to follow me to my office?”

I nodded, awkwardly climbing to my feet.

We passed the auction room and Poler led me through a door that opened into a hallway with a number of doors off it. Poler stayed a few steps ahead, patiently opening and holding each door for me. I followed her into a small but expensively decorated office and took a seat in the chair she pulled out for me. Poler was even kind enough to get me another chair for my leg without me asking.

I let out a sigh as the pressure lessened and the pain eased. “Thank you.”

She smiled kindly. “You are welcome. Now, I’m told you would like to auction off a moderate amount of farmer experience.”

I pulled the apple-sized green crystal out of my pocket and put it on the desk between us. There was 6,397 farmer experience in the crystal which at base price would sell for a little more than 3,198 silver nobles. Salem hadn’t lied when he said buying experience was expensive and outside my means. The absolutely best part was experience, like gambling winnings, wasn’t taxed. I wouldn’t lose half of my money from selling it.

This was why I was here; unlike selling something and haggling over the price, auction houses weren’t restricted by haggling limits, only base price. They could theoretically sell something for any amount though no one would ever buy something for over ten times its base value as you could just go to a high-level merchant and have them transmute it out of gold directly.

I was hoping to get at least 25% more than base by auctioning it off in bulk. The wealthy farming families knew the value in buying levels early for their children and would sometimes pay up to double the base price if they had to.

Poler took the crystal and examined it with only minor interest. She worked in the biggest auction house in Weldon. The crystal she was holding was considered a minor item here, just barely enough to be worth selling.

Unlike auction houses back home, there was no sales fee. Auctioneer was a threshold choice of the merchant class that had a rather unique promotion. The auctioneers made money by auctioning goods. Like literally made money. When the sale went through, a small percentage of the value of the sold item would materialise in front of them. It didn’t come from the buyer or the seller but appeared the same way experience did when I finished harvesting a crop.

Poler finished her examination, placed the crystal down on her desk, and then looked across to me. “You would like to auction this?”

“Yes.”

“May I offer another suggestion?”

I nodded.

Her tone changed, becoming pragmatic. “Farmer experience is always in demand. On any given year, there is between 40,000 and 80,000 gold crowns worth of experience required to service the needs of the wealthy. When that demand is high, I run a silent pre-auction. Interested parties bid and sometimes rebid against each other, moving through the rankings until experience shows up at our auction house for sale. Those at the top of the auction then purchase the experience for the price they’ve bid. If you wish to participate, I can have your money within the hour.”

I blinked. I had not expected that. I thought about her proposal for a few minutes. “What’s stopping me from receiving a low price?”

Poler nodded just once. “You are not the first to have such worries…the process for my silent auction is simple. I will write the current highest bid on a piece of folded card and you will write your minimum sale price on another. You may look at the offered price, but I cannot look at your minimum sale price unless you refuse the offer. However—and this is important—whatever minimum sale price you put down will be the minimum sale price of your item in any auction house going forward. No different than if you had truly put your item up for auction.”

Okay, that didn’t seem that bad. “Do the same standard rules as an auction apply—by that I mean no fees?”

She scowled. “We are not scraping for copper here, sir. There are no fees at this auction house.”

“I was just checking,” I said, raising my hands in the universal sign that I was unarmed. I thought about her proposal for a few more moments and then decided to push her just a little. “I expect to make other sales similar to this one within the year, so I’m giving you your only warning: do not screw me over or this will be our last dealing. Having said that, is there anything you think I should know that might sour any future dealings we might have?”

She paused, thoughtful but not intimidated. “As it stands, you might earn ten percent more by taking your experience to open auction, or you may earn less. However, if you waited until you have more experience to sell, at least twice the amount, then the price increase will be guaranteed.”

“Thank you for your honesty,” I said, then after only pausing for a second added, “I’d like to participate in the silent auction.”

Poler nodded before standing and collecting a ledger from the bookshelf behind her. She opened it, skimming through until she found the page she wanted and then she closed it and sat back down. She opened a drawer and removed two pieces of cardstock that were folded over. She handed me one along with a pen and a small bottle of ink.

I wrote down a price that was base plus 25%. I moved to blow on the ink, but it had already dried. I looked at it, a little surprised, and then realised it must have been magical.

I put the folded card in the middle of the table, took the one she handed me, and looked at it. The price on the card was 80% above base, more than 57 crowns.

I looked up and grabbed my card without smiling, even though I wanted to giggle like a maniac. “You have yourself a deal.”

14

BROADENING THE MIND

With the money I made from auctioning the experience, I could build everything I wanted and still have money left. My traps weren’t particularly complex, just big. Outside of Blackwood, that size wasn’t an issue. No single smithy in Weldon was large enough to handle my order quickly, since the city wasn’t known for its metal work, so I spent a few days talking with the four largest local smithies, having each one take part of the order. If I hadn’t spread the project around, I’d be looking at a three month wait time. Now that wait time was a little under four weeks. Four weeks during which I had to find something to occupy my time.

Weldon, as a city, was kind of interesting. Arriving here was like stepping out of the 1100’s and entering the early 1800’s. The buildings were more refined and the level of prosperity was a lot higher. None of the children were running around wearing flour sacks. And it possessed all sorts of attractions. I was tempted to go sightseeing, maybe catch a show at the theatre, but first I had business to take care of.

The Third Street house of scholars wasn’t an impressive building. The brickwork was adequate and functional and there were plenty of windows. The only ostentatious feature was a large metal scroll pinned above the door. It had been gold plated in its youth, but most of that had worn off.

This particular house of scholars wasn’t held in the highest regard within Weldon, despite being the oldest in the city. It was built back when Weldon’s primary industry was carpentry and had never leveled to ten where it became a stable magical building, and since you couldn’t change a house of scholars’ specialty once selected, it remained to this day, despite less than 3% of the city’s economy now being based there. It meant that it wasn’t very profitable—which was why it had opened itself up to other fields, no longer specializing in carpentry.

The scholars here didn’t cater to warriors, adventurers, or nobility. Their focus belonged purely to the baser classes like craftsmen and farmers.

I hobbled through the door and over to the book-covered desk located in the right corner of the reception. It sat in front of two bookshelves that had overflowed their capacity, forming stacks on the ground that looked like a book waterfall. A frazzled looking teenage girl with wild bushy brown hair and thick glasses sat behind the desk. Four books lay open in front of her with another beside her hand that she was taking notes in.

Scholar Beth

Beth didn’t look up until I reached over and tapped the bell wedged between two stacks of books.

Ting.

She jumped. “Huh, what happened? Oh, it’s just a customer.” She blinked twice before looking in my direction. “How may I help you?”

The girl was painfully skinny. The kind of skinny you only got from sitting down for far too long. There was no muscle tone anywhere on her body.

“I’m looking for a scholar named Ranic. I’ve been told he’s a specialist in the farmer class.”

I’d spent two weeks studying the books Jeric had gotten his hands on and learned something quite important. I knew a whole lot less about my class than I thought I did. Even Salem was surprised by some of the information I pulled out of the books before I left. There was so much we hadn’t known.

That was probably a good thing. Because if we had known, we never would have tried my idea with the traps. However, remaining ignorant wasn’t going to help me any further. The only smart course of action was to alleviate that ignorance and there was no better way for me to do that than to find a scholar who specialised in farming. It was why I’d come to Weldon rather than Igwood, which was closer. Weldon had several incredibly talented farming specialists. Ranic, however, was supposedly the most knowledgeable scholar on the subject outside of the capital.

My request made the girl jump in her seat, straightening her back. “You want to talk to Ranic?”

“If he’s the scholar who specialises in farming, then yes.”

The girl took a slow breath, visibly trying to calm herself. “Ranic’s time is both precious and expensive. Five nobles an hour, or thirty for the day. What is the nature of the services you require?”

I stared, surprised by the insane price and the way she framed her question. “You’re vetting me?”

“Yes.”

Suddenly, I wanted to meet this specialist even more. “I need a comprehensive list of threshold requirements, with an in-depth understanding of those requirements. I would also like to understand special promotions better and see if the special promotions I received are unique.”

The girl paused for a tenth of a second when I said “special promotions” and again when I said “unique." “Have you researched these special promotions yourself?”

I pulled out a scrap of paper with the list of farmer class guide books I had read. There were ten in all. I handed it over. “It wasn’t in any of these.”

The girl read over the list before frowning. “These are laymen’s guides, not scholarly works, and some are not worth the paper they are written on. However, their combined ramblings would give an acceptable basic understanding of the farmer class.”

“You’ve read them all,” I said, impressed.

“No,” she said, twisting around to the bookcase behind her and retrieved a book with a blue cover. She turned and held out the book. “This is Holvar’s Reference Guide to Class Books. It lists all the books that have been published on a given class along with their ranking as a scholarly source of information. All scholars are required to memorize the list of books and their rank. We can use the list to roughly calculate how much an individual knows on a given class by which books they have read.”

“That could be useful. Where can I get a copy?”

She turned to put the book away. “You can’t. It’s only sold to scholars, and even if you got your hands on one, you wouldn’t be able to read what was inside. However, I can sell you the information inside for a noble.”

I sighed. I’d been told scholars were information traders, but I hadn’t thought it would be this bad. I pulled out a silver piece. “What do I get for this?”

She looked at the coin. “Several hours of my time answering any question you have pertaining to the information in the book.”

“And the book holds information about every class along with all the books written for those classes.”

“Yes.”

I frowned. “Are there class books like that guide which can only be sold to scholars?”

“There are many scholarly books with varying levels of complexity on a given subject and none of these can be sold to non-scholars or read by non-scholars. This book lists all of those, along with the books that are classed as non-scholarly that can be sold to anyone. However, just because I may be able to tell you the name of a book and what information it holds and of what quality, it does not mean you will be able to acquire a copy. Many books listed inside are extremely rare, especially if they have anything to do with magic.”

I put the coin away. “I’ll have to think up a list of questions, but I will see you about that book in a few days.”

She smiled. “I’m here every day until noon, except sixth day.”

“I’ll remember. Now, about that scholar. When can I see him?”

She laughed. “Nice try. I haven’t approved you yet.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Should I have paid the silver instead of waiting to think of questions?”

“No, that wouldn’t have helped you.”

“What would help me then?”

The girl stopped laughing. “How much do you know about Scholar Ranic?”

“I know he’s the best, but that’s all.”

Her shoulders slumped. “Scholar Ranic is a genius. He’s the only scholar in the city to have passed his second threshold. He is also 143 years old and level 74. The old man has spent more gold on blessings to increase his attributes than I will make in my lifetime which is the only reason he still has his mind; as it is, he is still very old. He doesn’t handle much. He has outlived his wife, and his children, even most of his grandchildren. The only thing he has left is his work, and for that, he needs stimulants. So we make it a point not to send him any old farmer who has a request for information, only those who have something that will actually challenge him. So, if you want to see him, be interesting.”

“The special promotions aren’t interesting enough by themselves?”

“Possibly, and if they really are new, then that information will be enough for the old man to pass through his threshold, which will put him in your debt, but I truly doubt that they are, considering the material you’ve had for reference. Do you have anything more to add to your application?”

I paused, considering my reply. Jeric and several sources within the city had told me that this was the man I wanted to see. Was it worth the risk to tell them I was trying to develop an exploit? No, probably not. If the man was a genius, he might discover what I was doing through my questions. And I didn’t want that.

Maybe another sort of honesty would get me through the door, though. “Yes; tell him I hate farming and what I really want to know is how to level up my class to 100 without ever having to pick up a hoe again. Also, if there is a way to get through my first threshold without having to farm, I would love to hear it.”

The girl smiled. “Oh, that might interest him.”

* * *

The innkeeper’s son knocked on my door the next morning, waking me a few hours before my usual time. The sun was up as I glared around my room. The glare disappeared as I caught sight of the letter the boy was holding. I flicked him a copper piece to pay for the delivery, took the letter, and read, excitement mounting.

An hour later, I stepped out of the hired carriage and hobbled into the Third Street house of scholars. Beth greeted me and led me through the building, up a flight of stairs, down several different hallways to an unmarked door.

She knocked loudly, opened the door before receiving a reply, and only stuck her head in. “Ranic, your morning appointment has arrived for his interview.”

“Huh?” came a loud confused reply. The gravelly ruffled tone sounded tired, annoyed, and baffled. “I’m not interviewing someone today. I don’t have the time. I’m waiting for some idiot farmer to show up. He thinks he’s got a unique special promotion. I can’t wait to laugh at his face.”

I swallowed.

Ranic sounded like my great uncle, the last time we’d gone to visit him in the nursing home. He hadn’t recognised any of us, not even my grandfather, his brother.

The girl sighed, her shoulders slumping as she began to glare. “You didn’t read the whole note, did you?”

“I’m too old to read notes.” He must have seen her glare because he quickly added, “I skimmed the important bits.”

Her glare turned into a scowl. “Read the note. I can see it there in front of you.”

A few seconds passed. “Oh, that’s interesting, a farmer that doesn’t want to farm. And he wants to pass his first threshold without having to farm. I should interview him after I’ve dealt with…oh, wait, they are the same person. I see what happened. You put the interesting bit after the boring bit. You shouldn’t have done that. Well, let him in.”

The girl pushed the door open and stepped back, giving me a half-smile that seemed to say good luck.

I hobbled past her and made my way into a room that was half conspiracy theorist’s den and half nobleman’s library. Books lined three walls, sitting on shelves made of dark-stained wood shined to a mirror finish. On the other wall was a spider’s web of notes linked by coloured string and pieces of paper with single words written on them like ‘COW???’ and ‘MILK’.

But none of that was as bizarre as the man sitting at the table in the centre of the room. He looked like a cross between Saruman and Doc from Back to the Future. His fine white hair stuck out in all directions like he’d been electrocuted and he had four days’ growth on his wrinkled cheeks and chin. His weird expression gave the impression he had forgotten how to interact with human beings and he wore grey robes that could have belonged to a down-on-his-luck wizard—or could have been a bathrobe. He was also painfully skinny, like the girl who was now walking away.

He looked me up and down, sucking on his bottom lip. “What do I call you, Mr…ah…?”

“Arnold,” I said, unsettled by the fact he couldn’t focus enough to read my name above my head.

“Well, Arnold, I’m Ranic. Take a seat…there.” He pointed to the chair farthest from me. “I hope you are a betting man, Arnold, because I bet you a crown that you haven’t found a new promotion and you are wasting my time.” He pulled a gold crown out of his pocket and placed it on the table beside him.

I looked at the coin and back at him as I made my way around the table and pulled out the hard wooden chair. “I’m not going to take your money.”

He grinned, eyes opening too wide. “That confident, aye? Make it two crowns then.”

I sighed. “It’s not confidence. You just worded the bet wrong. You’ve made your success conditional that I both haven’t found a new promotion and my inquires are not a waste of your time. If you find my questions interesting for a second, then you will lose the bet.”

His smile widened and his eyes turned a little wild and buggy. “You noticed that. It shows you’re smarter than most that come through here. I like that. Might be hope for you winning the bet. Three crowns or I won’t help you.”

“I think you might have a gambling problem.”

“Chicken.”

“Fine,” I said, finally annoyed enough to give in. I pulled the coins from my purse and placed them on the table. On any other day, I would have run from such a large bet, but I was reasonably confident I would win since he couldn’t read my name. Sure, I felt bad about taking advantage of the old man, but I needed his help, and he’d left me no other option.

His smile grew wilder. “So what’s the name of this special promotion?”

I paused. “I’d rather not say.”

He chuckled. “You plan to fleece me if it really is unique…I can respect that…okay, let’s go. The note says you’ve got your first two promotions, so it shouldn’t take me too long to read through the lists. But it would be a whole lot faster if you are willing to give me the first letter of the name. Or if you think that’s giving too much away then you can just sit there and waste my time and yours.”

“The first letter is M,” I said, seeing no reason not to tell him that much.

Ranic nodded and pulled a small vial from his robes. He removed the stopper and poured a tiny amount of yellow powder onto the back of his hand.

I watched with a fair amount of concern as he snorted the powder, went a little more bug-eyed, and put the vial away, behaving like this was absolutely normal. He then stood up and retrieved a book from the bookcase and sat back down. “Now, I could do this from memory, but I’m sure you would prefer to read it yourself. You can read, right?”

“I can.”

“Good, let’s begin. The first special promotion that begins with M is called Monster Terror. It is also the only special promotion.”

“Shit.”

He started laughing. “Manage to kill something defending your farm, huh? What was it?”

“Pack of wolves,” I said.

He stopped mid-chuckle and looked at me in shock. “You got all those levels from a pack of wolves?”

“It was a big pack.”

“Ah, you used the old trap them in your barn and burn it down trick.”

“Something like that,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment over the fact that it was a known trick. It probably explained why I didn’t get the exploit reward.

“Looks like you missed one.”

“Hmmm…so, I’m guessing the other special promotion I was offered isn’t exactly unique either.”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but they’re not. In fact, the whole range of special monster promotions is documented up to the tenth promotion. I can tell you about them if you would like to listen?”

I couldn’t hide my surprise. “How did they manage to discover that?”

“Farm-bred monsters.”

“You can breed monsters!” My voice might have been a little bit higher pitched than it usually was with how quickly I replied.

Ranic scratched his chin while he nodded his head. “Well, not any old monster. Only certain rare and special monsters can breed in captivity, and if their spawn is bred on a farm and killed on that same farm, they produce farmer experience which is how we now know about the ten promotions. Adventurers and nobles who get hold of these creatures do not like to advertise their existence, so most don’t know about them.”

“Okay, that’s amazing and I want to hear more—but first, what are the other eight promotions?”

Ranic sighed and leaned back in his chair. “To be honest, there is really only one that is interesting and that’s the fifth one. The special promotion increases the experience generated on a farm by 10% and a 100% when fully upgraded. It is twice as effective as the 5% basic version farmers gain access to at that level of promotion.”

I tried to hide my excitement. “So you get 50% more experience than you usually receive when monsters are killed on your farm. I can see how that would be useful to someone who could breed monsters.”

Ranic shook his head. “Were you listening? I said it increases the experience generated on a farm…that means all experience. It’s considered to be a legendary promotion.”

My jaw dropped.

I had so many questions.

Ranic didn’t care. He just kept talking. “Now, the note said you were interested in raising your farming level without having to farm. That is stupidly simple—buy experience. As for getting through your thresholds, that is a little more difficult. You’re at your first threshold, so you have more options than with the higher-level ones. One method would be to grow a perfect crop. It’s the highest rank of crop quality and a single successful crop will get you through that threshold. Since you don’t like farming, you likely can’t pull it off. So I would suggest you plant a heritage seed.”

“What’s that?”

Ranic went to the bookshelf, removed another book, flipped through, found the page he was looking for, and then showed me a picture with dozens of rainbow-coloured fruits. “It is a rare magical seed that can occur when an orchard produces a perfect crop. If the seed comes from a peach tree, then when it is planted, it will produce a random variety of magical peaches. Cuttings can be taken from this tree to produce more of them. It will also bring a field up ten levels when planted.”

“Sounds expensive.”

“A thousand crowns,” Ranic replied.

My eyes went a little wide. “Are there any cheaper ways?”

“Plenty, but they all involve farming. And you asked for a method that doesn’t. Now, if you are finished asking dumb questions, I will continue.”

“I doubt I am, but please continue.”

Ranic sighed and shook his head. He looked like he was about to continue and then suddenly paused. “I should have asked this earlier, but why are you interested in raising your level without farming?”

“Oh, I’m incarnated. I want to get a new class.”

Ranic smiled excitedly. “Damn, that’s actually interesting.” He put his hand over the gold coins and slid them across the table to me. “Now, where was I?”

Your relationship with Ranic has improved from Neutral to Interested. Ranic finds you interesting enough to share a conversation.

15

EVERYBODY NEEDS THEIR GANDALF

Well done, you have successfully implemented your sheep anatomy lore, butchering a sheep carcass to a decent quality, showing you have gained greater comprehension of sheep anatomy lore, earning you a new rank of understanding in this field. You can now boast that you understand sheep anatomy lore as well as any Apprentice.

As I dismissed the prompt, I turned to Bradwin, the butcher guiding me through the process, and handed him back his knife. The halo of light surrounding me remained for a few more seconds and then began to fade. “I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Bradwin shook his head, taking back his knife as I grabbed my cane and left the abattoir, headed for the Third Street house of scholars.

My leg ached after standing for so long without support, but it wasn’t unbearable. I’d changed out my crutch for a cane a couple of weeks ago and I was now at the point where I barely needed it. Five weeks of healing and drinking the herbal tea Yaceb gave me meant most of my injuries were only memories.

I’d spent the last few days laying the foundation for acquiring new skills like butchering and blacksmithing. I’d been going in and out of workshops and making simple items like nails and wire. I hadn’t gained anywhere near enough experience to unlock the skills, but now I had enough basic understanding to at least practice and eventually gain the first level in each.

At 28 nobles, butchering was the most expensive to learn. The price covered the butcher’s time and the animal I cut up. Butchers, like farmers, had all sorts of promotions and tricks to increase the quantity and quality of the meat they received from a carcass. In their minds, I’d ruined a perfectly good animal just to understand what I was doing.

I didn’t care.

Butchering was important. In the past, when I’d looted a corpse, only the magical components appeared. The wolves only left behind fertilizer when I looted them. That hadn’t been because that was all they were able to drop; it was because I didn’t have the right skills to loot them effectively. Once I had the butcher skill, irrelevant of level, I’d receive meat and hide when I looted monsters, but only up to half the maximum of what they possessed. If I wanted it all, I’d have to carry the corpse to a real butcher.

Not that I could.

Blackwood wasn’t the sort of place where I could casually appear with a monster corpse and not have half the village asking me what had happened. If I wanted to get anything extra out of my method, I was going to have to do so myself. Now that I knew how to butcher an animal larger than a rabbit properly, I’d be able to butcher the next wolves that showed up on my farm which would drastically speed up my timeframe for gaining the first level of the butcher skill. And it would reduce the cost of leveling up the skill too.

Working with Ranic had certainly opened my eyes. There was so much about being a farmer I didn’t know. There were numerous skills and abilities that I’d never even heard of. There were so many laws that intersected, causing secondary effects that it made my head spin if I studied too long. I had barely scratched the surface. Understanding all the intricacies of being a farmer would take a lifetime.

It was a good thing the old man wasn’t as kooky as he appeared to be. The whole betting situation was just his way of talking to interesting people. When he won the bet, sure he made money, but when he lost, the person who won would usually spend all their winnings on more lessons like I had.

Ranic didn’t mind losing money. He wasn’t scraping around for pennies—no matter how he dressed. He’d used his scholarly skills to invest in different farms around the city, guiding multiple generations of farmers through their growth so that they turned significant profits. He’d even used several of those farms for experiments, hoping to make a discovery and break through his third threshold, but none of those experiments had panned out. So he’d spent decades learning the different processes firsthand and boasted a farmer skill level in the high seventies. The man had worked himself to the bone until he’d been able to produce a perfect crop of every feasible variety and he still wasn’t through his third threshold.

There was nothing he didn’t know.

Which was why I was going to steal him. The excitement building in me threatened to bubble over and leave me cackling like a madman as I climbed into a hired carriage to cross the city.

Ten minutes later, I waved to Beth as I made my way through the house of scholars to Ranic’s door and knocked.

“Come in, Arnold.”

I opened the door and walked through the now-familiar room to my usual seat. Ranic offered a sheet of parchment as I passed him.

“You smell like blood,” Ranic mumbled as I took the sheet.

“I was learning how to butcher a sheep.”

“And you didn’t stop to bathe?”

“It took longer than I expected and I’ve organised for someone to meet me here for my lesson,” I said.

Ranic finally looked up and frowned. “Why are you smiling like that?”

My grin widened as I lost control of my excitement. “Because you love me.”

Ranic snorted, his fine white hair sticking out in all directions. “You overestimate our relationship.”

“And you constantly underestimate it, but that’s about to change.” I sat down and looked him in the eye, unable to hold back my excitement any longer. “Ranic, I want you to be my Gandalf, my Yoda, my Obi-Wan, my Dumbledore. I’m a hero and I need my wise old wizard to take me on an adventure.”

Ranic blushed, turning bright red, and then cleared his throat, shuffling his papers nervously. “I’m flattered, Arnold. And you are handsome, but you are also a century too young for me. It just doesn’t feel right. I mean I’m not technically your teacher, but we have that sort of relationship. I wouldn’t want to cheapen it.”

I blinked, replaying exactly what I had said to him in my mind, thinking about what I had said from his perspective…oops. “Um, I might have phrased that wrong. I’m not propositioning you…well, I’m not propositioning you romantically. Ah, do you understand the literary concept of the hero’s journey?”

Ranic’s brow furrowed, still blushing. “Huh, why are you talking about books now? Are you trying to seduce me or not?”

“Not.” I waited a few more seconds to let that sink in. “Anyway, there is this thing in my world called a fantasy novel. They are usually adventure tales for the most part. Many of them start with a boy on a farm whose world is turned upside-down when a wise old wizard comes into his life. The wizard usually needs the farm boy to go off and fight some dark lord somewhere, so the wizard teaches the boy all the skills he needs to survive in the dangerous world, before he dies for plot reasons.”

Ranic raised an eyebrow. “And you want me to be this wizard who dies?”

This wasn’t going how I had planned. “No. I mean yes. Ah…I mean yes I want you to be the wise old wizard without the dying part.” The words gushed out in a rush, disjointed and unorganised.

“I’m confused. How does a Yoda come into this?”

I took a deep breath to calm myself. “Okay, I did this badly. Let me start from the beginning. Ranic, I would like your help. I would really appreciate it if you could help guide me through this new world so that I can grow in skill and overcome the obstacles before me.”

Ranic turned his head to the side, clearly confused. “You sound like a pansy—and you still haven’t told me what you want.”

“I want to hire you to be my bloody scholar and come back with me to my village where you can tell me how I’m fucking up and what I can do to improve my farming skills.”

“Oh, is that what you want?” He paused in thought for a few seconds, shook his head, and then scowled. “No. Actually, hell no. I’m not going to some shitty border village without a decent whorehouse or somewhere I can purchase my stimulants. Do you have any idea how old I am? How much work it takes to keep me comfortable without having to put up with the pain of aching joints? And you want me to go to some village that you’ve described as half burnt down.”

“Ranic, be reasonable. You’ve managed to teach me so much in such a short amount of time. Try to imagine what we could do with more.”

Ranic shook his head, clearly not swayed by my words. “I like you, Arnold. I enjoy our conversations about your world and how they farmed there…enough to teach you for free if you had asked, but I’m not going to leave Weldon and go to some level three village.”

“How about I sweeten the deal?”

“I don’t need money and even if I did you can’t afford me.”

“I don’t have money, but I promise you I can get you through your threshold.”

Ranic froze.

I tapped my fingers against the table as I looked him in the eye. “This isn’t like the special promotions. I didn’t even realise I had this knowledge until a week ago. I’ve even discreetly questioned the other farming scholars to be sure.”

Ranic took a slow breath. “Why should I believe you and what do you want from me?”

“I want you to come with me to my village and use your skills to help me understand the capabilities of my class. And I want you to keep my secrets.”

The whole “understand the capabilities of my class” thing wasn’t entirely true. I didn’t actually want to learn how to farm, but if anyone could optimise my experience returns from trapping monsters, it would be Ranic.

The old man sighed tiredly, showing his age. “For how long?”

“Until I have a new class.”

He shook his head. “That’s too long. Without a fortune, it could take decades.”

“How much time are you willing to give me?”

Ranic’s hands shook as he scratched his jaw. “Five years with no pay, and I will do everything within my knowledge and power to help you grow yourself, your class, and your farm while keeping your secrets. I will also give you every farmer ability you request for free. That is a fair price for passing my threshold.”

“I’ll need your oath,” I said.

“Is that who is supposed to meet you here?”

I nodded.

Ranic took a shaky breath, face pale. “If you are wrong about this, I will never speak to you again.”

“I know.”

And I did know. I’d noticed Ranic’s pain when he spoke of his class. He was brilliant, but because of the way thresholds in his class worked, brilliance didn’t matter. There was no way for him to get through his threshold without adding to the field he’d specialized in. The man sat on the shoulders of giants. Thousands of scholars had gone before him. There was very little left to learn in the field of farming.

Ranic had sat at the gates of his threshold for almost eighty years, knowing what lies beyond without ever being able to step through and touch it.

It took another fifteen minutes for the oath binder to arrive. She walked into the room, pulled out her equipment, sat down at the table, and began writing out a contract. She was entirely impartial throughout the process, pointing out where there were flaws on either side that could be exploited. There wasn’t much in our verbal agreement that had to be changed. Ranic had to offer up his skills as a scholar not just when it came to farming, but with all subjects. I had to stipulate a date when the five years began and the date that it ended. Clauses with rules were added to allow Ranic time off if it became necessary or if he became sick. He couldn’t go without pay for tax reasons, so instead, he was required to pay me his wages as a cost of receiving the information to pass his threshold which I would then return to him as wages. What I thought would take thirty minutes took four hours, but by the end, neither of us had any wiggle room.

I looked at the finished contract with its golden lettering, holding my bleeding thumb above it. Ranic stood beside me, his own thumb bleeding.

The oath binder placed a hand on each of our shoulders. “You come to this oath of your own volition with full knowledge of what you stand to gain and lose. Make your oaths.”

I place my thumb on the paper with Ranic. “I swear to give Scholar Ranic the knowledge that I believe will see him through his current threshold in return for him keeping my secrets and his service for five years if he successfully passes through.”

The oath I gave was a simplified version of the contract. The oath binder had an ability that allowed it; otherwise, the two of us would have had to read the entire document aloud to make our oaths.

Ranic pressed his thumb against the paper and spoke at the same time. “I swear to give Farmer Arnold a payment of gold, abilities, and five years of service while keeping his secrets in return for the knowledge to pass through my current threshold.”

“Heard and witnessed,” the oath binder said.

There was a burst of light as the contract ignited like it was made from flash paper. A feeling like metal shackles being locked around my heart passed through me, changing me, binding me up with magic.

A prompt appeared.

You can now access your oath menu.

I dismissed the prompt.

Ranic looked at me and nodded, overcome by a similar feeling. Oaths were not made lightly. Now that I had made one, I understood why. It grated at my soul. There wasn’t any other way to describe it.

The oath binder handed me a small bottle. “Drink this. It will help.”

I put the bottle to my lips and started chugging. Smooth, sweet liquor washed over my tongue as I saw her hand another bottle to Ranic.

“Well, thank you for your patronage,” she said. The oath binder finished collecting her things, said goodbye, and left, closing the door behind her.

Neither of us spoke as we finished chugging the bottles and slumped into our chairs, letting ourselves adjust to the new feeling. Making an oath reminded me of having my teeth cleaned at the dentist, that uncomfortable feeling you got afterwards where your teeth didn’t feel like your own—only this feeling sat inside my body.

My body didn’t feel like my own.

After five minutes, Ranic recovered enough to remove a wooden box from the bookcase behind him. He put it on the table and lifted the lid, exposing a bottle of spirits and four glasses. He filled two glasses and slid one to me.

Then he sat down and drank.

I’d never been a fan of drinking spirits straight, but then I’d never magically bound myself before. The burn down my throat was barely noticeable. I couldn’t tell if it was because of my current state or because of the quality of the drink.

The two of us sat in silence for another fifteen minutes, only moving to refill our glasses.

I finally recovered enough to speak. “That sucks.”

Ranic snorted. “It doesn’t get easier either, which is why people don’t take oaths lightly. It’s a damn blessing that drinking helps.” He raised his glass to me.

“Cheers,” I said, reaching out to touch my glass to his.

“Glory,” Ranic said. When I looked at him confused, he added, “It’s what we say here in Weldon. It’s short for ‘glory to your health.’”

I nodded and drank, feeling a little buzzed.

Ranic drained his glass and then slammed it down on the table. “Let’s get this over with. What do you think you’ve found?”

I could see Ranic wasn’t in a mood to play around. This wasn’t the time to tease him. He was far too serious. “trapsmith is a skill farmers can acquire.”

Ranic’s eyes went wide as he sucked in a breath.

I opened my skill page and sent it to him so he could see that I had it. I also showed him my logs from when I received it.

The moment I sent my logs, light flooded him brighter than I had ever received for my own levels. After a second, the room began to give off the same level of light.

Ranic began to giggle manically. Then everything disappeared in a field of white, and all that remained was his insane giggling.

“Fuck, I’m blind,” I said, shielding my face to keep out the light.

My eyes were closed, and I had my hands over them, but there was too much light. I could see the bones in my fingers through my eyelids.

Voices began to cheer through the walls, getting louder and louder until they drowned out Ranic’s giggling.

“The old bastard did it!” someone shouted.

“Threshold party! Threshold party! Threshold party!” The chant started with a single voice, but soon it could be heard through the floors and ceiling as others took it up.

After a minute, the chanting began to die down enough for me to hear someone shouting, “When the hell is this light going to stop?”

“No idea! The building is regaining one of the levels it lost when the last head scholar died! It might be another twenty minutes!”

“Oh, bloody hell! I can’t put up with another twenty minutes of this! Where’s the damn door?”

“Don’t leave, you moron! The light gives you an experience bonus which lasts months if you stay through the whole thing!”

“He’s not a scholar, he’s my client,” another voice yelled.

“Oh! You can go! Try not to fall down the stairs! Threshold party!”

The chanting started up again.

16

NEW ABILITIES AND UNEXPECTED CIRCUMSTANCES

“Ain’t no party like a threshold party…the scholars are going to show you how.” I sang a mishmash of lyrics to the tune of an old pop song as I walked down the street, swinging the bottle of whatever had been shoved into my hand as I left the inn we had taken over for Ranic’s threshold party.

I’d been partying with scholars from all over the city for three straight days. I hadn’t slept or stopped drinking the entire time. I’d reached a level of intoxication that was physically impossible to achieve without magic. The scholars had handed out vials of a potion they called Socialite an hour into the party and we’d all downed them together, toasting Ranic and his achievements. The potion turned the alcohol poisoning that should have killed me by now into a warm happy feeling that felt like a full-body hug.

It was great.

“Ain’t no party like a threshold party!” I shouted cheerfully as I passed the Third Street house of scholars.

The building had gone through a transformation when Ranic went through his threshold. There was now another floor and the simple brickwork had become an elaborate mosaic. The building’s base was also somehow 50% wider, which should have slammed it into the neighbouring building, but it hadn’t. The architecture had gone from simply functional to a piece of art, a building that demanded respect. The scroll above the door was also now twice the size and gold again. “The scholars are going to show you how.” I started laughing and took a swig from the bottle.

Sweet ambrosia tickled my tongue.

This stuff was good.

I walked more or less in the direction of my inn since it was the only place I remembered how to reach, occasionally skipping when the giddiness overcame me. As I passed by another random inn, a familiar tune began to play.

I froze for half a second then my stupid grin got bigger. “I love this song.”

I turned and stumbled to the door and made my way in as the first line of “I See Fire” began to play. The tavern was filled with polished wooden chairs and tables, and despite it being mid-afternoon, dozens of patrons sat watching the stage. Each of them had an instrument beside them and a drink in their hand.

I took it all in as I turned to the stage and saw a familiar face.

Malia sat on a stool leaning over her guitar, gently playing as she sang. Her voice fell silent for a few moments and then she moved into the second verse.

In my drunken state, I was quite sure she wouldn’t mind if I joined her. Besides, I’d discovered during the threshold party that my singing had improved significantly after my charisma increase, so when I began to sing, my key actually matched the one she was using.

Malia looked up in surprise, searching the crowd until her gaze fell on me. I grinned happily. She smiled, gave me what I was sure was a wink, and raised her voice to match my volume.

One of the people seated nearby turned and offered me his lute with a smile. I gave him a look as I continued to sing, trying to express exactly how drunk I was without having to stop to explain. The guy chuckled and nodded, putting the instrument back down before standing and gently shoving me towards the stage.

Well, if the crowd wanted me on the stage, who was I to deny them?

I wobbled my way forward until I was beside Malia. Belting out the words, I put my arm over her shoulder to keep the world from swaying. The crowd began joining in on the second chorus, and by the end, everyone was smiling, singing, and enjoying themselves.

The song came to a close, and as the last note faded, I shouted out, “Ain’t no party like a threshold party because a threshold party don’t stop.”

The crowd cheered.

Malia turned her striking gaze up towards me and smiled. “You sing a lot better when you're drunk.”

“I do a lot of things better when I’m drunk.”

She laughed. “So, you were having a threshold party. Was it yours?”

“Nope, it was Ranic’s. He passed through his third threshold with my help.” I raised my bottle. “Glory to his health!”

The whole room turned and raised their drinks. “Glory to his health!”

Malia put a hand over my shoulder and guided me off the stage. “How long have you been going for?”

“Three days; the scholars gave me a potion called Socialite and now I can’t sleep.”

Malia paused as I said “Socialite” and then laughed, leading me past the others. “Scholar threshold parties are the best.”

I nodded. “You’ve got that right…hey, these stairs. Where are we going?”

“My room?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see if you are lying about being better at things when you are drunk,” she said, and then she leaned in and kissed me hard. Shock froze me for a second and then my buzz let me relax and go with the flow, following the pleasant new sensation, accepting it as what we were doing now.

There were plenty of catcalls and howls. Neither of us paid any attention to them. The kiss went on until we were both too heated to continue in a public setting.

I grinned as I pulled back. “Ain’t no party like a threshold party because a threshold party don’t stop.”

Malia grabbed my hand and dragged me up to her room.

Her hand felt so much better than the ghost’s.

* * *

It was evening before Malia let me head back to the inn where the scholars were partying. The rowdy crowd welcomed me back to the party with a cheer and a toast, pulling me on to the dance floor before dragging me off to play games. Another three days went by in a sleepless, drunken blur of happy giddiness. Malia showed up several times, dragging me upstairs to have a bit more fun, before leaving me. In my state, I didn’t care. Life was great. I never wanted it to stop.

But all at once, the party ended.

A wave of clarity washed through me and everyone else in the tavern as a prompt simultaneously appeared before us all.

Well done, you have successfully passed the rite of the socialite and gained the Socialite ability. As the potion you drank was aged for more than a century and you managed to remain intoxicated for the full week, you have gained access to the full ability.

Socialite

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Alcohol consumption

Effects: Consuming alcohol in any quantity no longer impedes your ability to think or reason. Half of the stamina received from consuming alcohol is now used to power an aura that causes yourself and those around you to become happier and have more fun.

I stared at the prompt for several seconds, riding the wave of sobriety that tingled through me. Everyone began cheering.

I looked around, confused, unsure what had happened, and spotted Ranic with his arm around some woman’s shoulder. The two of them were cheering along with everyone else. Scholars, in varying states of dress, started walking over to him to shake his hand congratulating him one more time before heading for the door. The inside of the inn was a mess of broken tables, empty bottles, and no small amount of BO that was at war with scented candles.

The inn’s staff, seeing that everyone had finally stopped, slumped into the nearest chair to rest their exhausted bodies. Blue crystals of experience began to appear in their hands, causing all of them to show tired grins.

Despite their high levels of energy, the leaving scholars all looked like they had seen better days. Most were half-naked, wearing clothes covered in food and beer stains. A few were only wearing sheets tied up in togas.

Through a random opening of the door, I felt a breeze and I looked down for the first time. I was wearing a dress. I shook my head, trying to remember when I’d changed into it. Maybe it was after going into the foam room or the room they had set up for that weird bath drinking game. It certainly wasn’t in the orgy room. I remembered opening that door and quickly backing out.

Damn, it had been one hell of a party. Memories from the past week began coming back to me faster and faster, leaving a big grin across my face. Scholars really did know how to party. It was like every frat house movie I’d ever seen turned up to eleven.

I waited until most of the scholars had thanked Ranic and left before going over to him. The woman he’d been with was now gone, leaving him at a table by himself. He had a happy smile on his face.

His features had changed since he passed through his threshold and leveled. His hair was a little thicker and now possessed a silver sheen rather than the snowiness from before. A few of his wrinkles had disappeared and his eyes looked brighter, more aware. He’d gone from looking like a man in his late nineties to a fit man in his seventies. His movements were stronger and he didn’t have the same frailty as he had in the past.

I looked at him shaking my head. “What the hell happened?”

Ranic chuckled. “I threw the biggest damn party that the scholars of Weldon have ever seen. That’s what happened. I’m a bloody legend!”

The remaining scholars cheered.

“What’s with this ability I received?” I asked once the noise died down.

Ranic sighed and then straightened his back. “You kept your end of the bargain. I suppose I should start keeping mine.” He cleared his throat, trying to appear professional, but failed due to the pink ribbons tied in his hair. “Socialite is an ability that is usually only able to be acquired by the noble and bard classes. It allows those who possess it to drink without becoming intoxicated and produces an aura around them that makes everyone else happier. There are two versions of the ability that can be acquired by those outside of the noble and bard classes. The more basic version makes you immune to alcohol. Instead of becoming intoxicated, it gives you energy and makes you happy, turning drinking into a quick way to replace stamina. Then there is the true version which gives you all of the first’s benefits, plus the aura that makes those around you happier. The second is far harder to achieve and involves a rite of passage that is a weeklong bender and a potion that takes more than a century to age. It’s rare for someone to get their hands on more than a couple of potions at a time as there are only a few thousand sold each year, so most people just sit at an inn cheerfully drinking for a week…but that’s most people. I’ve had the time and the money to acquire several hundred so I threw the biggest and longest damn party anyone in the city has ever seen.”

Ranic’s grin grew bigger.

My heart began to sink, even if my mood didn’t. “Wait, was I projecting this aura?”

Ranic nodded.

“Is that why Malia slept with me?” My gut twisted and I began to feel terrible. Had I…

Ranic snorted. “No, the aura doesn’t work that way. It just makes you happy. It doesn’t interfere with anyone’s reasoning beyond that. The young lady who kept showing up was simply using you.”

“Huh?”

It was clear that Ranic was trying not to laugh. He reached out and patted my shoulder. “It’s quite well-known, especially among bards, that men and women who are passing through the socialite rite have rather impressive stamina. The kind of stamina you only find in high-level adventurers. Mix that with an improved mood and it makes for great sex.”

“Are you sure?”

Ranic finally laughed, shaking his head. “You go to all the trouble to gain my expertise and now you doubt me. Yes, I’m sure. Describe how you feel right now.”

I paused, thinking through my feelings. “Pretty good; I mean I’m happy, but I’ve had a lot of fun…if that makes sense.”

Ranic nodded. “Does that make you want to jump in bed with me?”

“Ah, um, no.”

“See, you can make your own decision while under the aura’s effects. You were the only one compromised in your liaison.”

“Oh.”

Ranic grinned as he slapped the table. “Now, when did you want to leave? I have a lot I need to organise before we are off and I would like a deadline.”

Reality caught up to me. “Shit, my order was ready three days ago. I need to find out where it’s at.” I turned, heading for the door.

As my hand caught the door handle, Ranic shouted. “That outfit does wonders for your legs, but maybe you should change before meeting with someone you are doing business with.”

I looked down at the dress I was wearing and then at the door handle I was holding. It was almost a mile to the inn where I kept my clothes. And I was pretty sure I’d seen scholars walking out wearing the ones I’d arrived in.

Damn it.

I was going to have to do the walk of shame.

17

LOSING WHAT LITTLE WE HAVE

“Damn it, Arnold,” Ranic snapped, finally losing patience. “Getting through a threshold is not an easy thing to do. I realise you hate farming. I realise you are from another world. But that doesn’t change how your class works. You will need to have a farm—and a big one—if you want to get through your thresholds. Yes, you can bypass your first one by planting a heritage seed or joining the militia and surviving a battle, but that’s the only threshold that can be easily circumvented. Every other threshold is going to require farming, if not by you, then those under you. You can’t get away from it.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with me giving up 100 of my mana and stamina.”

That was a lie. I totally understood why I had to give it up. Ranic wanted me to be able to access my farming interface, so I could accumulate farming points, and the stamina and mana was the cost of gaining that ability. I just didn’t want to do that.

Ranic grabbed the fabric of his robe and squeezed it, balling it up in frustration. He was a lot sharper now that he’d leveled and increased his attributes. He didn’t need his stimulant powder and he’d lost a bit of the bug-eyed-ness. Unfortunately, the increase in mental faculties actually made him harder to deal with, not easier. He was always thinking two steps ahead and not connecting the dots for those of us who couldn’t keep up.

The carriage jumped sharply.

We grabbed the side of our seats to steady ourselves. I turned and glared behind me at the wall. Ranic’s driver had a bad habit of hitting potholes whenever the two of us began arguing too loudly. I was pretty sure it was his way of telling us both to settle down without actively doing so.

I dropped the glare as I turned back. “Why can’t I hold off getting this ability until after I’ve received a few blessings? I don’t care about the mana so much, because I can’t really use it as a farmer, but I don’t like the idea of running around with the same amount of stamina I had at level one. Luring monsters is dangerous.”

Ranic continued to scowl. “That’s exactly why you need access to your farming points. You’ll be able to upgrade your capabilities.”

“In what way? I thought you said that farming points just made it easier to farm.”

Ranic clenched his teeth. “They do, but technically that isn’t all they do. There is an upgrade that you can purchase called Dawn to Dusk. Its description says that it halves the stamina cost for farming activities on your farm. But what it actually does is halve the stamina cost for anything done on your farm, as anything you do on your farm is classified as farming activities. In your case, this would include trapping monsters. There is another upgrade called Thorny Resistance. That upgrade description says that it will make you less likely to take cuts from thorny plants, but in essence, it gives resistance to piercing damage. That’s the kind of damage you get from a wolf biting your leg.”

My jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place? Of course I want that.”

Ranic's teeth started grinding. “I’m not a scholar who specialises in combat, Arnold, and what you are doing on your farm is basically that. I know the theory of past attempts. I can recite all the notes, but I am predominantly a farming scholar. If you want to know the best way to grow a wheat crop in a given village I’m your man, but you want me to help you optimise luring monsters to your farm, and that’s going to take me more than three days to get my head around.”

“So you don’t find what I’m doing interesting?”

He sighed. “I didn’t say that. I actually find what you are doing fascinating. I’m just not entirely sure where I can be of help. And I’m having trouble with understanding what you do and do not know. I keep running into gaps in your knowledge that any farmer’s child would know, and your eyes glaze over whenever I try to explain something that you consider to be mundane farming information.”

“So it’s my fault,” I said, beginning to get annoyed again.

“Yes. You’re a farmer who doesn’t want to farm. No, you’re worse than that. You’re a farmer who doesn’t want to know anything about farming that doesn’t involve luring and killing monsters on your farm. You want to know the parts which support your area of interest and actively ignore the rest.”

Damn it. When he said it like that, he made me sound like a far-left Democrat or a far-right Republican. And the frustrating part was I knew that it was exactly what I was doing.

“I’ll try to pay more attention,” I said halfheartedly. “But you have to try not to skip important steps in your explanation.”

Ranic took a slow breath. I think he was trying to stop himself from taking a swing at me. It only kind of worked because he pulled out a flask and took a swig. Within seconds of swallowing, a bit of the tension faded as his socialite ability kicked in.

“I’ll try,” he said through gritted teeth.

“So what do I have to do to receive this ability? The books I read lacked details on the subject. They only said I have to find a scholar who has access to the ones I needed.”

“Are you actually interested in learning the technicalities of what I do, or would you prefer the abbreviated version?”

I thought about that for a second. “Abbreviated.”

“Basically, to give a farmer an ability they don’t have, I take an ability crystal and perform the required ritual to infuse it with the ability you’ve requested. After that, all you need to do is touch the crystal and accept the prompt asking you if you want to gain the ability.”

“So you can just have these ability crystals lying around waiting to be used.”

“If I want to waste gold, yes.”

“Huh?”

Ranic sighed. “Ability crystals need to be charged after they are infused. The magic required is dependent on the ability: basic abilities will only require a crown, but some require hundreds. Having an infused ability crystal just lying around is a waste of gold.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” A thought occurred to me, and I realised I hadn’t told Ranic something that could be important. “Um, I’ve got the master rank with pitchforks. Does that do anything?”

Ranic stared at me for a second and then shook his head. “First of all, how did you manage to gain a master’s rank with a pitchfork? That should have taken you a decade.”

“You know the troll I told you about, the one that I managed to chase away? Well, I used a spear to blind the first eye but didn’t have a second one on hand, so I threw my pitchfork at the other eye and managed to blind it. I went from initiate to master.”

“Of course you did.” Ranic paused. “That came out more sarcastic than I intended. I mean, of course you did. You basically saved your life and your farm with a pitchfork which would be a feat worthy of gaining a master rank with any tool that wasn’t also a weapon. Now, for what that entitles, it means that you now have perfect control with a pitchfork.”

“What does perfect control mean?”

“It means that a pitchfork is now an extension of your body. If you tied a razor to the end, you would be able to shave with it as safely as if you were holding it in your hand.”

“So it’s not that useful then?”

“For most farmers, I’d say no, but there is an ability that farmers can gain called improvised weapon. It costs ten stamina and allows them to use farm tools more effectively as weapons. There is also a type of reinforced pitchfork called a war pitchfork. Farmers in the militia sometimes use them as it’s easier for them to gain ranks with it than with a spear and their pitchfork rank already counts toward it. So if you acquired the ability and used a war pitchfork instead of a spear, you’d be more effective if you got caught fighting a wolf again.”

I didn’t want to lose any more stamina, but I liked the idea of being more effective in close quarters. “Are war pitchforks any good for throwing?”

“They are only slightly less effective than a spear if you have the improvised weapon ability. Your rank will make up for the difference.”

“I’ll take it.”

“Of course you will.”

This time Ranic didn’t apologise for the sarcasm.

* * *

Part of my agreement with Ranic was that he would supply abilities to me for free. That was important because otherwise I never would have been able to afford them. Even the cheapest ability cost five crowns.

The following morning, Ranic handed me the first of the two ability crystals as I sleepily climbed into the carriage. My routine of sleeping for the first few hours of the journey was cancelled when the exciting prompt appeared. Suddenly I was completely awake.

You have found an infused ability crystal containing the Improvised Weapons ability. Would you like to gain this ability for the cost of 10 stamina?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes.

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability.

Improvised Weapons

Cost: None

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Passive

Effect: Any object is now a weapon in your hands and applies your strength modifier to damage.

I stared at the description of the effect for several seconds. The longer I stared, the more confused I became. Ranic had explained what it did, but it wasn’t until I was looking at it that the information sank in.

“Ranic, I’m confused. When I threw the pitchfork at the troll’s eye, I didn’t have this ability adding my strength to the damage. Without the added damage, how did I manage to blind it?”

Ranic was a morning person, so he smiled at the question rather than growled his annoyance like I would usually want to do at this hour. “Arnold, you come from a rather advanced world without magic so I can see how you would be confused. There are two types of damage in our world. One adheres to the rules that you would classify as physics. Velocity, momentum, and force all add up to doing a certain amount of damage when a warrior swings his sword and connects. So when you threw the pitchfork, you were doing that sort of damage. You should think of this as your maximum damage.”

“Okay.”

“Now there is the second kind of damage, the magical kind. That is what you receive from this new ability. Think of this as your minimum damage. Let’s say hypothetically that you had improvised weapon ability when you threw the pitchfork, and instead of hitting it in the eye, you hit it in the chest, and instead of being a full-grown man, you were a small boy. In that scenario, the energy behind the throw wouldn’t have been nearly as powerful, so the magical damage would have exceeded the physical. Upon contact, an extra burst of energy would have erupted from the pitchfork and brought the damage up to whatever your stats said it should be.”

I nodded, kind of understanding. “But if I had done more damage through physics, then this magical damage wouldn’t be added on top, and only the physical damage would have applied.”

“Yes. That’s also why your traps are so effective. They rely on physics rather than magic.”

I’d wondered how this all worked shortly after I’d gone crazy in the forest, but by then, Salem refused to answer any of my questions that had to do with combat. At the time, I’d wanted to know how I’d killed some monsters with a single blow when my weapons damage didn’t go that high. Then, I’d just sort of forgotten about it over the months. Now I knew I’d been killing them with plain old physics.

Thinking back, I could remember a few glancing blows that seemed to do a bit more damage than I would have expected them to do. At the time, I’d thought they were lucky shots. Now that I knew more, I realised that magic was involved.

That was a terrifying thought.

If it could work for me, then it could work against me. I lifted my trouser leg and stared at the scars underneath. That puma hadn’t been all that big, but it had cut through me like it'd had knives on the end of its claws.

“Ranic, I’ve heard of high-level warriors who can crush a breastplate just by punching it. Is magical damage the reason?”

“Short answer is yes. However, there are some warriors with absurdly high strength who can do the same through physics alone. It is useful to remember that magic does not trump physics when it comes to damage. If you held your hand out and an archer hypothetically shot it for a 1000 piercing damage, you would most likely live. You’d be missing your arm, but you would be alive.”

“But the same damage to the chest would kill me.”

“Yes.”

“So a glancing blow from something like a troll could potentially kill me through magical damage.”

“Clearly…” Ranic’s smile turned into a smirk. “I can see you are reassessing your life choices.”

I wasn’t reassessing my life choices, but I was having several flashbacks to the trolls. Sure, I’d realised being directly hit by them would likely kill me, but I hadn’t thought that a glancing blow would do the same. I hadn’t known there was some magic that would turn what should have been a small strike along my shoulder into something that could tear me in half.

Now that I did, I had to make sure that never happened.

Ranic reached into his pocket and pulled out the second ability crystal. It was twice the size of the first. Green energy crackled in its centre, giving it a slight glow that was muted by the dawn sun. “Now, this cost me 250 crowns to charge, so I’m liable to stab you if you don’t use it.”

“That cost how much?”

Ranic shrugged. “I told you some abilities were expensive. Now take it.”

I shook my head. “How wealthy are you?”

I knew Ranic was rich. Not counting his driver, he had four servants travelling in the hired carriage behind us, with my goods from Weldon’s smithies in the three wagons behind them, and his furniture in the five wagons behind those, but I hadn’t really considered that the man would be able to simply hand over 250 crowns without even flinching.

“I’m comfortable. We will leave it at that,” he said, pressing the ability crystal into my hand.

You have found an infused ability crystal containing the Farming Interface ability. Would you like to gain this ability for the cost of 100 mana and 100 stamina?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes.

Congratulations, you have gained a new interface option. As you gain more knowledge about this interface, new upgrades will become available.

You have 0 farming points available.

The mana bar had disappeared entirely from the top left corner of my vision and the yellow stamina bar had lost some of its depth of colour. I closed the interface and brought up my stats.

I really had lost all that stamina and mana from getting these abilities. I hadn’t wanted it to be true. But it was. The only consolation I had was that I hadn’t lost the underlying attributes at the same time. They were all still there and just as effective in their own ways. I closed my stats before I started to feel worse about my decision.

A big smile sat on Ranic’s face. He’d been watching my eyes as I read and seen me scowl when I got to the part that said I had to study upgrades to gain access to them. He hadn’t told me that part.

I glared at him. “I’m going to have to listen to you talk about farming, aren’t I?”

He happily nodded. “It’s a good thing we have a few days until we reach Blackwood. I’ve got hundreds of upgrades to explain.”

“Just tell me about the ones that I will need for luring and killing monsters.”

His smile turned into a grin. “I literally can’t. My oath requires me to help you to the best of my ability, and since you might need to know them all, I’m required to get creative when it comes to teaching you. The most necessary will be at the bottom of the list and the rest will be spread throughout.”

Damn it.

18

INTRODUCTIONS

The teamsters were unloading the crates in front of the barn. And I was giving Ranic a tour of my property, trying to forget the mind-numbing study that was the last few days of the trip. Ranic’s servants were back at the village, securing rooms at the inn while trying to locate a suitable house for him to purchase.

The smell of earth and The Wild Woods filled my head as we walked. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it didn’t make me feel like I was home. Country living was never something I wanted.

Ranic glanced about him, grumbling under his breath about the poor condition in which I kept my farm. I could see the fire inside of him. He wanted to roll up his sleeves and start making changes. It was probably a good thing he was going to stay in the village. Otherwise, he’d be nagging me to work more. However, he had downright refused to stay with me or anywhere nearby once he learned what I was attempting to do.

Despite his reservations, he still needed to understand what I was doing and how I planned to do it if he was going to help me. So, I continued the tour.

Days of travelling over bumpy roads left me glad to be able to stretch my legs. The pain from my injuries was entirely gone, and the herbal tea I’d been drinking had finished regrowing the missing muscle in my leg, but I’d lost my former level of fitness while recuperating. Starting tomorrow, I’d go back to running every day.

As I took Ranic around the side of the house to the front door, he stopped complaining midsentence.

I followed his gaze to where Salem was sleeping on my rocking chair. The familiar was magically tied to me, compelled to return to me every eight hours. That was before I bought the farm. Now, he either had to return to me or the farm. So leaving him behind hadn’t been an issue. It was even his idea. He was as happy as I was for the break.

Salem purred contentedly as he pretended to doze. His awareness of the world around him was too great for our arrival to go unnoticed. The late afternoon sun hit the spot where he lay, heating his fur the way he loved. He wasn’t likely to move from the rocker without a good reason.

Ranic turned to me, eyes panicking. “Why is there a familiar sleeping upon a rocking chair on your veranda?”

Salem twitched and opened one eye to stare at Ranic.

I raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. “What are you talking about? That’s just Salem, my cat.” It wasn’t much of a lie, but it was enough to test the old man.

Ranic glared at me. “That is a wizard’s familiar and a very powerful one. I can barely analyse him.”

Salem sighed, stood up, looked up at me and scowled. “You brought a level 99 master scholar to our village. Are you a special kind of moron or do you just hate me?”

“Settle down,” I said. “I’m not a moron. Ranic has taken an oath not to share my secrets—that includes you.”

Salem dropped the scowl. “He has taken an oath?”

“I have,” Ranic said. “Now, what is he doing here?”

“I am in hiding,” Salem said. “That is all I will say on the subject.”

I rolled my eyes. “Obviously his presence here is a secret,” I said. “One I don’t want shared around.”

“Fine,” Ranic replied, clearly annoyed. “I’ll just add it to the long list you’ve already given me. You know, when you made me take an oath of secrecy, I never thought I’d have to write a book to keep up with what I can and cannot say.”

Salem sighed and sat back down. “Arnold, why do you have a master scholar with you?”

“I figured you needed someone smarter to talk to.”

“Oh, please, spare me the platitudes.”

“If you must know, I helped Ranic get through his third threshold. In return, he’s agreed to lend me his skills for the next few years.”

Ranic nodded. “I must say that I’m rather happy with this arrangement. I’m intrigued by this method that Arnold is trying to develop. I’ve made the study of farming my speciality and have read all the previous attempts to try something similar but I never considered treating a farm as anything other than a farm. Is it safe for me to assume that you have been assisting him?”

“I have,” Salem said.

“Would you mind sharing your observations with me? I’ve spoken with Arnold at length, but his academic notes are nonexistent, and all I’ve been able to grasp is a general understanding.”

Salem chuckled. “You have no idea what I’ve had to put up with from him.”

“Hey,” I said.

Salem rose to his feet and leapt off the rocking chair. “Would you like me to take you on a tour of the property while I give you a proper explanation?”

Ranic nodded. “You are too kind.”

“No, no, I’m sure you’ve suffered enough having to work with Arnold. Has he made you listen to his inane description of that Home Alone story?”

“Hey,” I said again.

Neither of them listened to me as they walked off, deep in conversation.

* * *

Jeric sat at his parlour table, shuffling a deck of cards as Hamlin led us inside. There was a tension to his gaze and movements that I wasn’t used to seeing. He appeared stressed as he smiled at me, his lips pressed too tight.

I smiled back, holding out my hand to introduce Ranic. “Nobleman Jeric, this is Master Scholar Ranic. Ranic, Nobleman Jeric.”

“Welcome to my home, Master Scholar Ranic,” Jeric said tersely. “Would you like a glass of wine or brandy?”

Ranic swallowed, sensing Jeric’s mood, and looked at me out the corner of his eye. “I get the feeling you were not informed I would be here, sir. I apologise for my intrusion.”

“You are correct. However, if you are a guest of Arnold’s, then you are welcome in my home.” He turned and scowled at me. “I’m glad to see you are well.”

I knew that tone. It was the tone my mother used to give me when I got home late and didn’t call, which now that I thought about it, was kind of what had happened.

“Look, I know my letter said I’d be here five days ago, but certain things came up.”

“And these things were enough to stop you from writing?”

I shrugged, not comfortable meeting Jeric’s gaze. We were friends, but he was closer to my dad’s age than he was to mine, and when he got like this, I couldn’t help but feel like a misbehaving child.

“Look, I drank a Socialite potion without knowing what it was and lost about a week, by the time I came out of it I was already three days behind schedule and I just forgot to write to you in the rush of organising the trip back.” I turned to Jeric’s butler, who was barely in control of his laughter. “Can we have a little privacy?”

Jeric nodded.

Hamlin left the room, closing the doors behind him, shoulders shaking through the effort to hold in his laughter.

“What did you want to say privately?”

I pointed to Ranic. “Ranic knows about my method. He has taken an oath to keep what we are doing secret.”

Most of the tension eased out of Jeric. He shook his head. “You realise you almost gave me a heart attack walking in here with a master scholar—I can’t even see his level. I thought he’d found out what you were doing and was going to blackmail us.” He leaned back, folded his arms for a second, and then realised he hadn’t been all that polite and leaned forward and held out his hand to Ranic. “Welcome aboard.”

Ranic took the offered hand and shook. “I’m sorry my arrival caused you distress.”

Jeric waved his apology away. “It’s fine, take a seat.”

I slid into one of the waiting chairs. “How have you been?”

Jeric turned to me and shook his head. “We can talk about me any time. I want to know how long it will take you to set up.”

“As I told you in my letter, I’ve got everything on my list, so I reckon about two weeks. It won’t take me more than a day to cut a field now that my level is higher. Ranic has also agreed to help out where he can and has offered a few ideas for improvements.”

Jeric nodded and turned to Ranic. “How did Arnold get you involved with this?”

Ranic smiled. “He gave me the information required to get me through my third threshold. There is no record of a farmer ever receiving the trapsmith skill before him.”

Jeric frowned. “So his special promotions weren’t unique?”

“No, they are well-documented.”

“But the trapsmith skill wasn’t? That seems...strange.”

Ranic shrugged. “I have two simple theories for that. Possibly the skill is a secondary skill, which requires enough experience all at once to reach the first level and those who have had the opportunity to do so in the past haven’t made the attempt, choosing instead to use other methods that would gain them guaranteed experience rather than take the risk.”

“And your second theory?”

“Perhaps the laws that govern our lives have grown, changing, and Arnold is simply the first to achieve this outcome. As there have been no cataclysmic events, I believe the first is far more likely.”

Jeric nodded. “Interesting, I would love to discuss this further over a glass of wine before you leave Blackwood if it doesn’t inconvenience you?”

Ranic chuckled. “Arnold failed to mention that along with my oath of secrecy, I have sworn to use my skills to aid him to the best of my ability for the next five years.”

Jeric lost all of his usual discipline, leaning forward excitedly. “What is your exact level and specialty?”

“Ninety-nine and farming.”

Jeric’s jaw quivered as he turned to me. “Do you have any idea what you have done?”

Ranic smirked. “He’s completely ignorant. It’s kind of charming.”

“Hey, I’m not ignorant. Also, what have I done?”

Jeric stared at me. “He’s a level 99 master scholar who specialises in farming. If we build him a house of scholars, his knowledge will affect the entire village even without the building having leveled.”

I frowned. “Affect the village in what way?”

Ranic chuckled. “The village farmers should receive more information about their fields when they look at them. They should have better indicators to help them see what is wrong or right. It will stop them from being able to make basic mistakes, so quality should improve. Fields should also start leveling quicker and there should be a small increase in experience.”

“You call a 9.9% increase small,” Jeric said.

“Well, maybe not that small,” Ranic said, a smug smile on his lips.

“You didn’t tell me that,” I said, trying to stop my jaw from dropping.

Ranic shrugged. “Originally, I thought you knew. By the time I worked out you didn’t, it wasn’t important because it wouldn’t affect what you were attempting to do.”

“Oh.”

Jeric shook his head. “I’m going to have to write an apology letter to the governor of Weldon. He must be furious.”

Ranic shook his head. “Don’t bother. Weldon has never had a house of scholars devoted to farming. My absence won’t change anything in a significant way. But enough of that; I’m interested in knowing if you are truly on board with Arnold’s plan? He says you are, but I would rather hear it from you.”

“I am.”

Ranic took a deep breath and became much more serious. “You realise the danger to your village?”

Jeric leaned back and folded his arms. “I do. However, I believe this experiment is worth the risk. The kingdom’s been waging so many wars with the southern orcs over the last thirty years that there aren’t enough warriors to go around; even with the king asking them to have more children we can’t keep up. The adventurers have needed to join the wars more often than not, taking them away from clearing dungeons and leading to an increase in monster breakouts throughout the kingdom. The southern border villages have been emptying for decades due to increased attacks and danger. Food hasn’t become a problem yet, but that could change if goblins sack more eastern border villages and towns.”

Ranic stared at Jeric for several seconds. “You, sir, are wasted here. Why are you not somewhere that could take advantage of your mind?”

“I’m the bastard son of a nobleman and a prostitute,” Jeric said without hesitation. “I’m lucky that my father was so powerful that the stain on his reputation for allowing me to become an adventurer was greater than the cost of me keeping my class.”

I turned and looked at him. In all our conversations, this had never come up. Jeric hadn’t spoken like he was ashamed of his parentage, but like someone who was just stating things how they were.

Ranic nodded. “I suppose their loss is Arnold’s gain. He’s lucky to have the support of a nobleman who can see farther ahead than his nose.” Ranic frowned, looking at Jeric more closely. “Your father wouldn’t be Nobleman Eric, by any chance?”

Jeric nodded. “Yes. I’m told we share similar features. You’ve met him?”

“Yes, at the academy, back in my teaching days. He was little more than a boy then, but he had very particular and brilliant questions about farming and its relation to the royal class. I wasn’t surprised when I heard he had been made a member of the royal council of scholars.”

Jeric gave a tight polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes and then turned to me. “So, Arnold, what brought you here, outside of introducing me to your new comrade?”

I crossed my arms and leaned back, matching Jeric. “Well, Ranic was able to get a few scholar books on the trapsmith skill and class before we left Weldon and I figured you should have some idea of what I was going to be doing out there.” I pulled out the new series of drawings that I had developed with Ranic’s help and unfolded them so that Jeric could see. “So basically, we think we’ve worked out how to turn the barn into something that can take out at least half a dozen trolls, and we don’t even have to get anything new. Everything should be a whole lot safer now.”

19

ANOTHER UNFORTUNATE EXPERIMENT

A single lantern burned, barely revealing enough of the barn for me to see. I hadn’t had enough time to get the straw wall burning with that damn ogre so close behind me, but that didn’t matter now that the ogre was trapped in the pit. The massive ten-foot-tall creature continued to bellow, its growls shaking the walls of the barn as it forced its way up and out of the spike pit at the barn entrance.

The ogre’s musk was so strong it overpowered the barn’s ventilation, making me gag. It was a foul combination of rotting meat and excrement.

Salem ran over and leapt onto the wooden crate next to me, unconcerned that it was filled with jars of highly-combustible moonshine. “There are no other ogres on the property. This one seems to have come alone.”

Said ogre continued to rage inside the pit. Outside, the caged puma growled for help, not knowing that its mother and sister were already dead.

Annoyance mixed itself into my excitement. “The stupid ogre is still here though, which makes it two for two when it comes to accidentally attracting larger monsters, if we don’t include the fox.”

Salem nodded. “Do you want to try again or would you like to test your theory about weaker monsters first?”

If a passerby stood outside and looked at me through the barn door, they would think I was insanely calm considering that there was an ogre no more than thirty feet from me. But then, they wouldn’t see the pair of massive axes connected to the rafters, or the swinging spike walls, or the log spears. There was literally thirty feet of ogre death between me and the entrance.

I kept an eye on the ogre as I considered Salem’s questions. “I think we should try luring the weaker monsters first. This guy doesn’t scare me so much, since he was by himself, but I would still rather not have to deal with him.”

The ogre’s hand appeared over the edge of the pit as it pulled its massive bulk up and off the barbed spikes that were skewering it from the bottom. A stream of blood ran down the side of its face. Its glare promised murder and its roar promised a painful slow death followed by a long digestion. The force of the roar shook my chest, reverberating like thunder, but I didn’t get the stunned prompt I had when the troll had done the same thing. It reached forward, hauling its shoulder up above ground level, trying to drag itself towards me.

I pulled a lever.

A double-sided axe blade larger than I was tall silently dropped, swinging from the barn's left-hand side to the right, inches above the ground. Several hundred pounds of steel blade, backed up by gravity and a counterweight pulley system to give it more strength and reset it for a second use, collided with the upper half of the ogre, splitting it at the shoulder before coming out the other side and rising to lock into place on the opposite section of the barn rafters.

I stared as the ogre’s body separated into two pieces and the front of the ogre collapsed forward. “Holy shit. I mean, I designed that thing to be able to kill trolls, but damn. That’s horrifying.”

Salem stared at the dead ogre and then looked up at me, a little shocked. “Agreed…now, I’ll go do another sweep of the farm to see if it is safe for you to come out. Remember, don’t loot the corpses. Ranic wants to study them first.”

“I know,” I said, exasperated.

* * *

“This is brilliant, just brilliant,” Ranic said for the third time in fifteen minutes. His few previous complaints about my method of farming were nonexistent now that he had results in front of him. His level of energy was something I could not mimic.

The sun had barely risen before his carriage had come charging down the road behind Salem, ready to see what I had done. Right now, you wouldn’t think he was 143 years old. You wouldn’t even think he was 70 by looking at him. He seemed so full of life.

I on the other hand wanted to go back to bed. It was far too early in the morning to be awake.

He gave the ogre’s eye another poke before writing something down in his journal. A chest full of bizarre tools waited behind him, ready for experimentation. He frowned at the page before turning to me and smiling. “I’ve just had an idea that is nearly as crazy as your own ideas.”

I yawned. “What is it?”

“I think we should feed the ogre to the puma in the cage.”

“I agree,” Salem said. He’d developed a bad habit of immediately taking Ranic’s side in everything, simply because he noticed how much it annoyed me.

I swallowed the grouchiness I wanted to let flow from being awake at this hour. “I’m not giving up that sort of money to test a theory,” I said, shaking my head at them.

“You wouldn’t have to. We’d do it after you had looted it for the defence experience.”

I frowned. “Why?”

Ranic stood up, wiped his hands on the towel he had brought with him, walked over to an empty crate, and took a seat. “Well, that involves explaining a few things. And you don’t look nearly awake enough for me to do so.”

“Try me.”

“Simplify it for him,” Salem suggested.

Ranic looked at the familiar and nodded. “As you know, farmers gain experience not from killing monsters but from defending their farms. This experience is generated by the magic of a farm, perhaps all farms. Because the experience you receive comes from your farm and not the carcass, the carcass retains its experience. This wouldn’t matter if you were a warrior or adventurer, but it matters if you are a monster. Now, monsters usually gain levels from aging, but they also gain levels from consuming other monsters. I believe that if you feed the carcass to the puma, then the puma will absorb the experience trapped within the carcass and gain levels. This is what is done on farms where they raise more than one variety of monster.”

A goofy grin began to flow over my cheeks. “At what ratio do monsters gain experience from killing other monsters?”

“Fifty percent,” he said.

Excitement filled me. “So if this worked and I managed to trap half a dozen monsters, I could kill the first monster, use its carcass to fatten up the second where I would get a further 50% of that added experience, feed it to a third for 25%, and just keep going.”

Ranic nodded. “I believe so. Luring monsters to a farm this way opens up all sorts of possibilities for exploitation. We will have to see if this works first. I know it does with farm-raised monsters, but it doesn’t work for monsters killed off a farm and brought on for some reason. As it is, this has likely never been tested with wild monsters caught in this way. But then again maybe it has, as I’ve told you in the past, those who farm monsters do not like to advertise or share their knowledge.”

This one piece of advice made bringing Ranic here entirely worth it. If I never got another useful idea out of the old man, it would still be a complete success. A thought occurred to me as I stared at the ogre’s head. “How the hell is that puma going to manage to eat all of it?”

Ranic frowned. “That’s our first obstacle. Though, I have read about monsters resting next to the rotting corpses of larger monsters and gaining levels that way. You should bring the puma’s cage in here to test it out.”

I swallowed the nervous lump that had formed in my throat. “The cages weren’t designed to be moved with something inside.”

“They’re sturdy enough,” Ranic said, climbing off the crate to examine the ogre further. He prodded the corpse.

“No, I mean, there is nothing to help me move that damn cage safely.”

Ranic paused but didn’t look over. “I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, but if I’m right, and you don’t, you will be walking away from a lot of free experience.”

I started to swear as I turned and made my way towards the puma’s cage. “Salem, help me figure out how the hell I’m going to do this?”

* * *

The following morning, Ranic sat across the breakfast table, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you allow a ghost to remain in your house. If you need money to remove her, I will gladly loan it to you. Though I don’t see why that would be the issue, it’s not exactly expensive.”

“She’s not harming anyone.”

“She kissed you.”

“On the cheek,” I mumbled through a mouthful of delicious bacon and fried potatoes.

Ranic shook his head one more time and finally dug into the meal she had cooked. The old man had been at the farm hours before I was up, and the ghost had made a second plate for him, incorporating his presence into her memory, treating him as a farmhand and calling him Damor. He took a tentative bite and then a much bigger one. “This is good.”

I grinned. “I know, right?”

“And she does this every morning.”

“Yep.”

“I take back my judgement.”

“Don’t let Salem hear you say that. He’s adamant I should get rid of her.”

“Why?”

“She petted him while he was sleeping once.”

A frown crossed Ranic’s face. “Has she tried to sleep with you yet? You know ghost sometimes do that, right?”

A shudder went through me.

* * *

“Okay, you’ve tested my theory and shown it works, which I’m grateful for, but I think it’s time you killed that poor beast,” Ranic said, holding a scented rag to his mouth. It had been a long week, during which the smell of rotting ogre had steadily grown worse.

“There is still more experience in there,” I said through my own rag, while trying not to look at the puma stuffed into the cage.

It had grown monstrously fast in a single week of captivity, eating nonstop and quadrupling in size until it was nearly as big as a grizzly. It no longer had room to move, its body squashed against the bars. Keeping it in the cage was a level of cruelty that I was becoming more and more uncomfortable with.

“Well, besides this whole situation being sort of brutal, that puma is getting strong enough to break out of the cage. As a farmer, you can’t see the stats of the cage with your analyse ability, but I can, and its durability is down to half.”

“The puma can still gain two more levels,” I said, annoyed.

“I agree, and I would love to study it further, but I think it might be able to force its way out with just the next level. We need to put it down for our own safety.”

I sighed. “You could have said that in the first place.” I picked up the spear from where it rested against the barn wall and walked over to the cage. The puma began to twitch and flex as it saw me approach. For the first time, I heard metal buckling. “You got any particular way you want me to kill it?”

“Quickly and cleanly,” Ranic said, moving closer to the cage, unafraid of the monster trapped inside. “If you hit him right here between the vertebra with your weight behind your weapon and then twist, it won’t suffer.”

I moved into position, ready to end the creature’s life—and had a thought. “I’ve got a question. If adventurers and warriors gain their experience when looting monsters, then how come I’ve gotten experience for both my trapsmith and spearman skills when killing them?”

“A small amount of experience is automatically awarded to the weapon skill that is used to kill,” Ranic said. “We don’t know why. It’s one of the great mysteries of gaining experience.”

I nodded, lining up my spear tip with where he had pointed. Then I took three steps forward and lunged, putting my weight behind the strike. The sharp steel bit through the puma’s skin, parting flesh as it went down between the bones. I gave it a violent twist and felt something in the puma snap.

It went limp, its death swift, clean, and violent.

Light surrounded me and a prompt appeared.

Well done, you have killed a puma and gained a level in the Spearman skill.

Skill: Spearman

Level: 2

Effect:

+4% to spear wielding ability

+4% to spear attack speed and damage.

I dismissed the prompt and sent my logs to Ranic so he could study them. “Tell me when you are done studying. I want to butcher the puma for the butcher experience,” I said and then turned to leave the barn.

“Will do. Can you loot the ogre before you leave?”

I turned, shocked. “I can still loot it? The loot orbs faded.”

Ranic nodded. “You won’t get anything valuable, but I imagine you will get some good quality fertilizer and maybe something magical if it has survived. All you need to do is touch it and focus on wanting to loot it.”

I moved over to one of the putrid rotting arms and touched the slimy skin, focusing on wanting to loot it. I’d had to haul the carcass out in pieces, so the pile of rotting ogre chucks was absolutely revolting at this point. There was a pool of slurried pustulous slime that made me gag every time I looked at it.

Nothing happened for nearly a minute, but then finally, a prompt appeared.

Would you like to gather the loot from this rotting Ogre corpse?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes and watched as the ogre corpse vanished and was replaced by a waist-high pile of brown, smelly compost with a small pile of toenails, the ogre’s skull, and a weird bony orb next to it.

You have found:

Good quality monster fertilizer x12

Ogre Toenails

Ogre Trophy

Ogre Core

“Hey, Ranic, what’s an ogre trophy?”

“Technically, by itself, it’s just bones. Adventurers keep them as a sign of their combat prowess so they can boast to other adventurers. The rest of us use them to build warding poles to scare away similar monsters.”

“Okay, I also got an ogre core. That’s the thing clerics use to give a blessing, right?”

Ranic looked up and frowned. “Yes. Though, it’s strange you received one. Monsters always form a core by the time they reach their max level, but the chances of one forming before that go down with each level. There should have been less than a 1% chance of it forming at only level 26. Pass it here, please.”

The ogre’s core looked kind of like a rubber band ball made from bone. The orb was only about the size of a baseball, but I quickly learned it was heavier than it looked when I picked it up and passed it over. It was as heavy as lead.

Ranic took the orb and studied it, running his fingers over the ridges.

“I heard larger cores are worth more,” I said.

“They are,” Ranic said slowly, “but it’s really the tier of monster which the core comes from that gives it its value. Ogres are a second-tier monstrosity. Their blessing gives a two-point bump to constitution which classifies the blessing as uncommon. The size of this one suggests it would be able to bless six people with the ogre’s blessing when used.”

“So, how much is it worth?”

“Well, it’s a functional core by the looks of it, so you will easily sell it for 30 crowns if you went to an adventurers’ guild. You will, of course, lose half of that to taxes.” My eyes widened as he handed it back. “But still, you caught a lucky break. Now, stop bothering me. I’m trying to work.”

I grinned and I put down my spear, gathered the other various loot drops, and took them inside the house to put them away. Getting the core was just the cherry on the top when you considered the ogre’s experience was worth more than what I’d received from the wolves.

After a few minutes of private celebration, I returned to the barn and picked up my farming tools. At my level, it only took me an hour or two each day to tend my single field of squash: picking one weed would make five others teleport away, and watering seemed to go a lot farther than it had when I was level one. The farm’s visual overlay showed me each plant needed significantly less water than in the past, but, even with the shortened work day, an hour was still an hour too long in my opinion.

God, I hated farming.

Thankfully, I wouldn’t have to do it much longer. The experience I’d received from these kills was truly impressive. If it all sold at auction, then I’d be a third of the way to affording a heritage seed. I already knew which path I would take after passing through my threshold.

Once I became a farm manager, I could employ other farmers and have their work count towards my next three thresholds. I’d still have to manage my farm or have Ranic do it, but at least this way, I wouldn’t have to work on it myself.

Those thoughts were my only comfort as I went outside and got to work.

20

CALAMITY

The problem with being smart is you are rarely wrong. However, when you are wrong, you can be so spectacularly wrong that people will look at you and think, God, what an idiot. I remember reading about an engineer who died in a spitting contest. He understood physics better than his competition, so he knew that having a running start would give him an edge, putting more power behind his loogie when he hocked it. Knowing this, he ran towards his apartment balcony to beat his competition. I don’t know if he tripped or wasn’t particularly gifted athletically, but the competition ended with him going over the balcony railing, eleven storeys up. His mistake was he thought he knew all the variables and that made him willing to take a more significant risk. It’s pretty much the same mistake all smart people make before they die in a way others view as idiotic. And it was the same mistake I’d made tonight.

Smoke made it challenging to follow the pair of nine-foot-tall cyclopes as they leapt over the open trapdoor into the barn. The pair landed on top of the burning hay line, muffling the noise and stifling my light.

I felt no happiness, no excitement, only an intense dread as smoke overflowed the barn, drowning out the scent of death clinging to these creatures. The levels of these monsters were high enough that I couldn’t see them, which put them all above level 25, and into their second tier of growth.

Tribal, rhythmic grunts and growls bombarded my ears, disorientating me and disabling my ability to use sound to track positions. I had four cyclopes trapped inside the pit trying to claw their way out by standing on each other. They’d hooted supportively as their allies leapt over their heads, succeeding where they failed.

Hand trembling, I pulled the lever.

Three logs, connected to the crossbeams by ropes, supporting five-foot-long cross-bladed spearheads that were almost two feet wide at the base, disengaged from the roof and swung towards the barn door. The two cyclopes roared triumphantly, increasing the volume of the chant, as they stepped off the burning hay to charge me, each of their single eyes filled with animalistic rage.

The log spears collided with the middles of their chests, parting flesh like oversized kebab sticks, leaving them impaled to the face of the log.

The two massive creatures looked down in astonishment as they began coughing blood, their small minds unable to comprehend what had happened. The third spear swung wildly, hitting them on the backswing, sending them tumbling, wrenching the spears inside them.

My attention moved to the cyclopes climbing out of the pit. There wasn’t time to watch the other two and make sure they were dead. There were too many of them. I had to keep track of the other targets if I wanted to live through the next few minutes.

Everything had gone horribly wrong.

I pulled the other lever, gripping it so tight my knuckles turned white, and the oversized axe blade came free, cutting the first escaping cyclops in half before locking on the other side.

The three largest cyclopes waiting outside the entrance realised three of their own were down, changed the rhythm of their chant, and finally charged.

My hands moved. I pulled another lever, releasing the swinging spike walls on either side of the entrance as they charged through, trying to leap over the pit where the trapdoor had been. The walls came down in a curved arch, striking the two outside cyclopes as they tried to clear the pit. A dozen steel spikes penetrated each one as they were thrown off-course, falling short of the barn floor at the opposite end of the pit. They went down, landing inside, striking walls, before hitting their allies and the spikes at the bottom.

The third cyclops made the jump, safely reaching the other side, only to be struck by the backswing of the same axe that killed its ally seconds before. I let go of the lever and moved my hand to the one which controlled the second axe.

My knees began to shake. There was no excited anticipation of the reward waiting for me at the end. If just one of them reached me, it was over. There was nothing I could do. Even a level 50 warrior couldn’t go toe to toe with a cyclops—and I was just a farmer.

My attention turned to the pit now occupied by five injured but alive cyclopes. I could use the second swinging axe twice like the first. Other than that, I only had two swinging spike walls left which were located right in front of me. It wasn’t enough to deal with five targets.

The only trap that could was my trump card. But using it was the very definition of running off a balcony to win a spitting contest. Of course, then the other two cyclopes showed up, adding their voices to the ones in the pit.

They charged around the corner of the barn and through the door, leaping either side of where the swinging spike walls had come to rest over the pit. They dodged the swinging axe that had been triggered twice, so it could no longer lock into place, and was now swinging back and forth like some forgotten Indiana Jones death trap.

The dodge would have been more impressive if the first one of them hadn’t run straight into my second swinging axe and been cut in half. It probably still would have been impressive if the second one didn’t run right into the swinging spike wall when it was only ten feet away from reaching me, halting its momentum completely. The barbed spikes held the twitching cyclops in place as it growled at me, trying to push its way through the painful obstruction. Its head towered above me, as it stared down with fierce rage, its massive body no less imposing for being trapped.

I watched for several seconds to make sure it didn’t have enough fight left in it to pull itself off the spikes. It didn’t. One of the spikes had gone through the side of its mouth and head, forcing its jaw open at an awkward angle that would cause it to nearly decapitate itself if it tried to remove it the wrong way.

The distraction gave the ones in the pit an opening and I almost missed the next escapee—but caught it just in time with the last swing of my second axe.

The axe blade took off its right leg just below the hip, throwing the cyclops to the side of the barn. If that had been its only injury, it might have managed to come for me, but it had already been hit by a spike wall and fallen through the trapdoor.

The fight left it as it came to rest near the wall.

I turned back to the trapdoor. “Fuck off,” I shouted, utterly done with the night's events, but seeing five more figures appear outside.

These weren’t as big as the others. They were adolescent cyclopes, by my guess. They were no taller than I was, only wider. I didn’t have time to analyse them and check if I was right, though, as they hurriedly moved to the edge of the pit and tried to help those trapped inside escape.

I watched them for almost three seconds before finally making a decision. “There’s too many of them.”

I pulled the red lever and grabbed the war pitchfork Ava had made for me as I dove behind the reinforced wooden wall. The wall was one of the many new additions. My experience with the trolls had shown me I occasionally needed a safe place to hide. I grabbed several thick layers of canvas and pulled them around me, rolling into a ball, exhaling as hard as I could.

Yes, I had painted the lever red because it was my trump card, and yes, doing so had been highly unnecessary. Maybe even a little childish. But it was the self-destruct option. And since I didn’t have a big red button, I settled on a big red lever.

If I survived, it would make what happened next a hundred times more epic.

I listened as a delayed counterweight slammed a pair of sledgehammers into two barrels of moonshine positioned above the pit, where the spike fall used to be. The barrels shattered the way they were designed to, dropping a hundred gallons of highly flammable liquid down onto the pit and the burning hay surrounding it.

Boom!

Heat, light, and sound came from all directions. The force of the blast shook my whole body, even behind my reinforced cover. The roar and heat of the flames drowned out the chanting as a prompt filled my vision.

Well done, you have killed several Cyclopes with a unique kamikaze firebomb trap and gained a level in the Trapsmith skill.

Skill: Trapsmith

Level: 3

Effect:

+6% to your trapsmithing ability

+6% to your effectiveness at locating and camouflaging traps.

I dismissed the prompt as I moved several layers of the canvas off my face and looked around to see flames. All the hay was on fire, along with a fair amount of wood. I took a breath under the canvas, hoping that there was some oxygen left trapped in there with me, and then rolled out from under the canvas, taking only the bottom layer with me since the top layers were likely on fire.

Once I was out, I pulled the canvas tighter to fight off the heat and looked back and confirmed that the top canvas layer was on fire in a few places. It was good to know that at least part of my plan had worked. The whole attracting a low-level razor boar and her piglets plan had left me dealing with this cyclops fiasco.

I turned, needing to see the damage my trap had caused.

A half-second glance towards the entrance said that was a bad idea. What I really needed to do was get out—the barn's front half was already a wall of flames. I ran towards the nearest dead cyclops anyway. It was pinned to the spike wall, its back on fire.

I had no idea if the little ones had been blown free from the barn by the explosion, allowing me to recover the cyclopes experience from them later, but even if one had I wasn’t going to take the risk and potentially waste the experience I’d gained here. I slapped my hand against an area that wasn’t burning.

Well done, you have successfully defended your farm against 14 Cyclopes.

I held my right hand out, under the canvas, and felt a melon-sized green crystal begin to form as I turned and ran for the ladder.

You have earned 498,638 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

Yes/No?

I automatically said No, but that didn’t stop me from reading the number. It was an insane amount of experience. It was just shy of what you needed to reach level 100 from zero. It was more than 2400 crowns worth of experience, even at base.

Holy shit, if some of these carcasses managed to survive the fire and if some of the caged wolves were still alive, I was going to make so much money.

That thought vanished as I reached the ladder. You couldn’t spend money if you were dead.

Going up is never a good idea when you are in a burning building. Especially when the walls are already covered in flames. That is like, a basic rule of fire. However, if your only means of escape is on the floor above you, that rule must be broken.

I tossed the experience up to the empty hayloft since I didn’t have a pocket that could fit it, leaving myself free to focus on survival. My chest screamed for air as my heart hammered, but I didn’t dare breathe in. There was so much smoke I’d immediately start choking. I didn’t drop my war pitchfork as I ascended because with this whole pitchfork master rank, it was just as easy for me to climb with it as without.

I reached the top and stumbled across the hayloft, scooping up the crystal and tucking it under my arm like a football. Thick black smoke stung my eyes, making them water, and blinding me to anything more than a few feet in front of me.

My movements came entirely from memory. Over the last few weeks, once I realised blowing up the barn with me in it might be a necessity, I’d planned out an escape route and then practiced blindfolded escape drills.

I found the latch and opened the hayloft loading door. It probably had some fancy farming name, but I had never been interested enough to learn. I grabbed the escape rope next to the exit and put my foot through the loop at the bottom, and my hand through the second loop farther up, and then climbed through the opening. The rope reached the end of its slack after only a few feet, going taut, pulling against the counterweight.

I dropped the crystal and canvas onto the ground outside to hold the rope better, then leaned back and stepped off, trying my best to keep upright as I dropped towards the ground like a one-legged rock climber. The counterweight engaged and slowed my descent, weakening the shock as I landed, but there was still some pain where I had previously broken my leg. I pulled my hand out of the loop and then grabbed the rope with both hands to safely pull my foot free from the other loop like I had practiced. I’d run this drill so many times I could do it in my sleep—or while panicking and running for my life.

I let go of the rope and it shot upwards. I heard a crash inside as the counterweight landed. That was an afterthought, as I’d already picked up the crystal and started running.

This whole night had turned to utter shit so fast. Sure, there had been that screw-up with the second group of trolls last week, but that was nothing compared to this.

Wolves howled from somewhere on the farm as I ran through the dark for the temporary safety of the house. As I crossed the gap between the back of the barn and farmhouse, the wolves trapped in the cages growled at me. The mostly-eaten carcass of the razor boar sat just out of their reach, her piglets nowhere in sight.

I was halfway to some semblance of safety when a wolf leapt out of the shadows.

I skidded to a stop and held my ground. Wolves in packs were sophisticated hunters. Wolves alone and confused were not. I had no idea if it was the magic of a farm or just the way monsters behaved in this world, but this wolf was far more aggressive than it should have been. There was a bloody burning building right next to me, for crying out loud. The damn animal should have been running in the opposite direction.

Against all reason, it charged me.

I thrust the two prongs of my war pitchfork into its shoulder, pushing it away from me, redirecting its energy, before turning and striking it in the side. I moved quickly and cleanly, landing hit after hit, relying on the insanity I had lived through when I first went into the woods. I overpowered it with my weight, pushing it around with my size. In a handful of seconds, it was over. The wolf lay on the ground, unable to rise. I didn’t let up. I slammed a point into its neck once and then followed it up by impaling its eye.

“You need to get inside, Arnold,” I said, looking around to make sure the area was clear. “Good idea.”

There were dozens more wolves out here, hiding in the night. Salem was supposed to be leading them away, but if this one had turned and come back, there might be others.

I reached down and touched the wolf.

Well done, you have successfully defended your farm against 16 Wolves.

I held my right hand out and felt a grapefruit-sized green crystal begin to form.

You have earned 67,608 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

Yes/No?

I stared in shock for a second, not at the experience but at the number of wolves killed. Using the four trapdoors around the house, I’d only caught eight, including the one I just killed. Salem had led the rest away. He must have been leading them across the farm into the other pitfalls.

I quickly jammed the crystal into my pocket and ran the last thirty feet to the house, heading for the nearest unlocked shutter. This madness had lasted less than five minutes, but I felt exhausted, strung-out. Fear and stress made it hard to think. My survival instincts were in overdrive.

I got the shutter open, leapt through, and then slammed it closed behind me, flicking the latch. No wolves would follow me inside ever again. I didn’t stop to rest. There wasn’t time. I ran into my room and knocked the ogre skull off the top of the chest at the foot of my bed so I could get to the contents within. I had no idea if there were other cyclopes out there—I couldn’t hear any chanting, but that didn’t mean anything. They hadn’t started until they saw me. And then they had just kept coming. I needed to keep moving.

I considered climbing into my safe room under the house. But with the barn burning down, I didn’t want to do that unless I couldn’t make a run for it. It wasn’t airtight and I didn’t like the idea of suffocating to death while the house burned down above me.

The chest opened and I pulled out the backpack inside. The backpack held all my money along with all the experience and magical ingredients I’d accumulated in the two months since my return. There was also a change of clothes and some jerky for if my stamina got low. I opened the backpack and tossed the new experience inside before buckling it closed.

I threw the pack over my shoulders and tied it in place so that it wouldn’t come loose while I ran. Then I walked to the other room and grabbed the machete from where I’d left it.

I took a breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

I had an important decision to make.

I could go out on the side of the house that was away from the barn or I could go out on the side closest to it. The one farther away would most likely keep me away from cyclopes if they were around, but it might put me closer to the wolves. It also had the drawback of there being less light, so I wouldn’t be able to see something sneaking up on me. I would also be running across open fields with long grass rather than compact road which would slow me down.

The side by the barn it was.

I tightened my grip on my war pitchfork and machete and made my way through the farmhouse. I opened the shutters a crack. The heat coming from the barn washed over my face and light showed everything for two hundred feet.

The fire from the barn was too big.

I’d made the right choice.

The house was definitely going to burn down.

I couldn’t see any cyclopes or wolves, except for the four in cages, so I opened the shutters wider, preparing to climb out. Growls filled the night and I stepped back inside and yanked the shutters closed just as Salem ran into the light.

He didn’t even seem strained as he turned and looked at the shutter I stood behind. “Flee to the village, or you will die,” he said quickly, without slowing his pace or giving further explanation. He didn’t have time.

Three dozen wolves led by another wolf the size of a moose ran out of the darkness close on Salem's heels, doing everything in their power to chase him down and kill him.

Within seconds of Salem giving me his message, they were gone.

I gave him another thirty seconds to get farther away and then opened the door, climbed out, and started running. I shot past the barn entrance, now completely engulfed in flames, only to slow my step at the last second.

On the ground, fifty feet from the barn entrance, was a young cyclops covered in burns trying to pull itself away from the fire. Its legs were too melted to walk and it was crying out in pain.

I pitied the poor murder machine enough to change my path and bring my machete down on its neck a few times, putting it out of its misery. As its head rolled away, I slapped my hand against its corpse and immediately dismissed the prompt that appeared.

I grabbed the machete handle between my teeth, freeing my right hand so the experience could appear, and started to run using the road to my full advantage.

What I wouldn’t give for a pair of running shoes or motorbike right now, I thought, as I tried to run in the boots I was wearing.

I shoved the experience into my pocket the moment it finished forming and pulled the bloody machete from my teeth so I could breathe.

Behind me, in the distance, something cracked. The sound was reminiscent of the time I heard a tree go down in a storm. I glanced over my shoulder in the direction of the sound. Through the flames, past the house, at the edge of the tree line stood an enormous figure, holding a club thicker than the barn’s support beams.

It had to be more than twenty-five feet tall. But there was more to its presence than just its size and height. It exuded power, in a way I couldn’t describe or understand. It didn’t exist on the scale that trolls or ogres did. It existed on the scale of hurricanes and tsunamis. It was a force of nature. I felt insignificant while looking at it, somehow instinctively knowing that there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to harm it.

My stomach dropped and I ran faster.

I ran past the boundary of my farm and just kept going, heading for the village. I didn’t slow. Not with that behind me.

Nearly a minute passed before the creature released a deep, primal roar. Months ago, I had experienced a troll’s roar from forty feet away. It had been so powerful that it caused me to be stunned, locking my muscle so I couldn’t move. This was on another scale, just like my instincts warned me.

A wave of force picked me up and threw me five feet. I bounced across the ground, turning end over end, feeling the roar in every cell in my body. Pain erupted across my palms and legs, and the health bar in the corner of my vision shrunk slightly, but that was an afterthought as I shoved myself back to my feet and kept running.

I was more than three hundred yards away from it. There was no doubt in my mind that if I were any closer, I would have been stunned again. I had to get away. I had to run faster.

Instinct took over, no longer leaving any room for thought. The will to survive coursed through me. I was barely holding my mind together at this point. My hands were shaking. Goosebumps covered my skin. I couldn’t control my breathing. Every last ounce of sanity was being used to stop me from screaming. I wanted to do it so badly, but screaming might attract the attention of whatever that was, and that was unsurvivable.

So I ran, more afraid than I had ever been in my life.

Another minute passed before a second roar knocked me over. I got to my feet as I heard the sound of crashing. I looked back to see the silhouette of the giant against the flames of the burning barn. Its head towered above the roof of my barn as it picked up one of the caged wolves, put the whole cage into its mouth, and began chewing. I was wrong. It wasn’t taller than twenty-five feet, it was taller than thirty.

You are frightened.

I don’t remember anything after that.

The last ounces of sanity fled in terror.

One second I was staring at the giant, the next, I was slamming my fist against the eastern gate, screaming at them to let me in, shouting incoherently about the giant.

The guard on duty opened the gate immediately.

I didn’t stop screaming as I squeezed my way in through the gap. The guard was saying something, but I wasn’t listening. Suddenly, I was pulled backwards.

The last thing I saw was a fist.

* * *

It was an hour after dawn when Brill finally came to check on me. By that point, I’d spent several hours trying to acclimate to laying on the ground having a gag in my mouth and limbs tied so tight I couldn’t move more than a couple of inches.

If I weren’t so worried about the village, I would have worried about being eaten alive looking like a bondage-themed hors d’oeuvre. I mean, there was no dignity in a death like that.

Brill gave me a friendly smile, displaying crooked teeth, as he opened the jail cell door. We had drunk and gambled together enough times that we knew each other well. He didn’t even comment on the fact that I’d soiled myself and the smell was obvious. “Sorry about the treatment, Arnold. You were within the blast radius of the giant’s roar and were suffering the effects of its fearful aura. You started screaming when you reached the village and were loud enough to draw attention. We couldn’t spare the time to pull you out of it, so the captain hit you good, and had us tie you up and leave you here. You are damn lucky to be alive.” In a much more sober tone, he added. “We all are.”

Brill came forward, fighting off a yawn, and undid my gag.

“Did anyone get hurt?” The question had been plaguing me for hours, ever since I woke and found myself tied up.

He began working on my bindings, nimble fingers making quick progress through the numerous knots. “No, we saw it early and snuffed out the few lamps left burning in the village before the giant could notice. We had the villagers flee before you arrived. We stayed on the wall in case it went after them, hoping to attract it towards the village if we had to. We were more than a little surprised to see you arrive. We’d all given you up for dead.”

“Where is it now?” I couldn’t stop panic from entering my tone. Nauseating waves of fear rolled through me. I never wanted to go near that creature again. There wasn’t a barn big enough to kill something like that.

Brill patted my shoulder, reassuringly. “It went back into the forest just before dawn. A runner has been sent after the villagers to call them back and the mayor wants to talk to you.”

As Brill undid the last of the ropes, circulation returned and pins and needles shot through my limbs. Brill didn’t give me time to work the life back into my body. He grabbed me under the armpit and lifted me to my feet.

“Follow me.”

Brill led me through the guards’ barracks, grabbing my pack as we passed it. Every bunk held a sleeping body. None of the thirty guards had removed their armour. They’d just lain down and gone to sleep, so they would be ready at a moment’s notice.

Once we were outside, Brill walked me across the square to Jeric’s front door. He knocked twice, waited for the butler to open the door, and said, “Farmer Arnold, delivered as requested.” Then he turned and left, undoubtedly heading for bed.

Hamlin evaluated me, his expression guarded. “I’ve been informed that you have soiled yourself. I have taken the liberty of filling a bath so that you do not appear within my master’s presence quite so unpleasantly. Follow me.”

I was led to a room with a stone floor near the back of the manor. There was a large empty bucket where I was told to put my clothes and a tub filled with soapy water. A second bucket of hot soapy water and a cloth was supplied for me to clean myself with before climbing in the tub.

I scrubbed myself down with the bucket and cloth as quickly as I could, removing the mentioned unpleasantness, and then climbed into the tub. I scrubbed myself down a second time and then climbed out, dried myself, and dressed in the change of clothes I had in my pack rather than the ones that had been supplied.

Bathing and dressing didn’t take long. I’d woken up hours ago and with no ability to run I had been left alone with my thoughts. I didn’t need more time. I didn’t need to think anything else through. It was time for me to face judgement.

The moment I stepped out of the room, Hamlin appeared as if by magic. “This way, sir.”

I followed him through the house to the parlour.

I knew that this was the end of my experiment. Trolls and ogres had been bad, the cyclopes were worse, but whatever that thing had been, it was in a whole other category of dangerous. There was no way Jeric would let me continue. It was too risky. Not that I wanted to continue. My knees shook just thinking about that monster.

I was done.

The sound of laughter cut through my musings as I approached the open parlour door. Jeric and Ranic sat at the table, sharing a bottle of wine, smiling ear to ear.

Jeric saw me approach and his grin widened. “Here he is. The saviour of Blackwood.”

Ranic looked over his shoulder and raised his glass of wine to me. “Glory to your health, Arnold.”

Jeric quickly followed suit.

I stared at them as Hamlin let me in and closed the door behind me, giving us privacy. “What’s going on?”

Ranic chuckled. “You saved the village, that’s what’s going on.”

“I almost killed everyone,” I said angrily. In the cell, I’d had hours to reflect on my actions and what I had done was clearly rash, if not outright criminal.

“Well, technically, you might have done that too.” Ranic waved to the empty seat. “Sit, and we’ll explain.”

Jeric filled a spare glass and handed it to me as I sat. I took a large gulp to soothe my nerves and immediately felt better as my socialite ability kicked in. Ranic’s socialite ability had started to loosen me up, but it didn't work as fast as when I drank myself.

Ranic grinned, understanding what I was doing. “So, you know how I’ve been wondering why your farm keeps getting attacked by ogres and trolls…well, last night we found out why. There’s a damn level 47 primitive giant lurking in the forest.”

I turned to Jeric, repressing a shudder. “I promise you I didn’t know. If I had, I never would have risked bringing it here.”

Jeric snorted and shook his head. “Arnold, we are happy you did. We’re celebrating our good fortune.”

“I don’t understand.” My hands were shaking, so I gripped the armrests on my chair.

The frightened effect was not like being stunned. It didn’t just fade away and let everything go back to normal. It rewired your brain, the same way it would be if you had truly experienced that level of fear. Thinking about the primitive giant was not something I could easily do. Just hearing the creature’s actual name had triggered my fear again.

Jeric sighed, ignoring my trembling. “All giants are dangerous, but they are the most dangerous during their adolescent phase when they are growing. During that time, they are angry, ravenous, destructive, and fiercely territorial. So much so that they are kicked out of their tribes.”

Ranic nodded. “Lone adolescent giants wander until they find a territory they like and then claim it. As they grow in levels and size, so does their territory. The fact that your actions brought it to your farm and then it left means that we are just outside of its territory…in a few more months, maybe a year at the most, we would have been inside it. Then, it would have attacked.”

Jeric shuddered. “We wouldn’t have known it was coming. Hundreds might have died.” Jeric raised his glass. “To unexpected fortune.”

I raised my glass but didn’t return the gesture. I took a long drink, draining the glass dry, finally understanding why they were celebrating. It was like knowing there was a hurricane coming and being able to prepare, rather than a sudden eruption of a volcano surprising you at the last minute. You weren’t happy it was there, but the warning let you limit some of the fallout. “So, what happens now?”

Jeric leaned over and refilled my glass. “Now we wait. I’ve already contacted the adventurers’ guild with our giant issue. They should get back to me within a few hours. Once they’ve dealt with the giant, you can go back to your experiments.”

“You want me to go back to my experiments?”

Ranic nodded, without a hint of bug-eyed-ness. “I believe the giant explains why you’ve been attracting so much attention. The trolls and ogres are gathering as much food as they can to appease the giant while it grows. Once it’s gone, I don’t think they will be quite so diligent. I hope you managed to kill something before that giant showed up because you have to rebuild your house and barn. There’s not much left, I’m afraid.”

Jeric snapped his fingers. “Oh, that reminds me. The captain said this fell out of your pocket when he knocked you out.” Jeric fumbled behind him and grabbed a golfball-sized green crystal I’d received from killing the baby cyclops. “He’s impressed you managed to kill something so powerful. You should go thank him. Not many men are so honest that they will return a purse full of gold.”

“I will,” I promised, taking back the crystal.

Ranic shook his head. “I expected you to get a little more experience considering how much you’ve been bringing in. Too bad; you would have been able to afford the heritage seed and pass through your first threshold.”

I finally smiled. “That was just from a young cyclops. I’ve the experience from fourteen others and sixteen wolves in my bag.”

Ranic began choking, and instead of looking happy, an expression of horror crossed his face. “Did you loot their corpse for items?”

My smile vanished. “No, just the experience.”

He turned to Jeric. “That explains why the giant stayed until dawn.”

Jeric nodded. “It was eating. How much does that change your assessment of the situation?”

Ranic shook his head. “If it ate that much, then it may have enough experience to reach its next threshold. It will go through a growth spurt over the next few months. It’s a much bigger threat than we first assumed.”

Jeric stood up. “I’ll update the adventurers’ guild and see what they can do to speed up their arrival.”

21

FRIENDSHIP AND EXPLOITATION

The sounds of smashing crockery and Jeric swearing was loud enough to be heard from across the square and it drew me away from the book I was reading in Gretel’s inn. After leaving Jeric’s place I’d slept the rest of the day and all through the night, finding I needed a lot of rest after everything that happened. Salem had stopped by long enough to tell me he was moving in with Ranic and not to come looking for him until he was ready to put up with my stupidity. He didn’t want to see me at all. I put the book down and finished the last of my ale. Drinking was the only thing that stopped me from trembling.

I placed the empty mug on the table and headed outside, crossing the square to Jeric’s house. Four village guards were in the process of leaving and I waved as I passed them, headed for the door. They waved back happy to see me. The last thing I’d done before heading to bed was put five crowns on the bar with a note to Gretel that explained I was setting up a tab for the guards. Those men and women had stayed behind to act as bait for something they had no chance against. If that wasn’t heroics I didn’t know what was. And I wasn’t willing to let them pay for their drinking for the next month after actions like that.

I knocked twice.

Hamlin opened the door. “I told you, he’s…oh, it’s you, sir. Come in. I believe the master could use some company.” Several objects smashed in quick succession. Hamlin flinched. “This way, sir.”

I was led through the manor to the kitchen.

Jeric stood in the middle of chaos, red-faced with anger and swearing incoherently. He didn’t even notice me as he picked up a glass and smashed it against the wall, sending shards in all directions. The kitchen was a warzone filled with debris from shattered plates and mugs.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, tentatively.

Hamlin was nowhere in sight as Jeric turned, seeing me for the first time. “Those ingrates denied my request. They’re going to speak with the regent to request the village be abandoned.”

“The village is going to be abandoned?” I said, not fully understanding what he meant.

“Yes, no, maybe. The adventurers’ guild has found a matriarch silkworm spider in the Alovin Woods. They currently have every high-level free adventurer headed there to farm experience. Between that, the border wars, and the recent hobgoblin attack that destroyed the town of Lerbin, they don’t have enough spare people to deal with the giant, right now. They’ve chosen to chase the high-value target instead of coming to our aid. They’re asking the regent to abandon the village until they can come and deal with the giant which might not happen for up to a year. If she accepts their request it means we will have to leave for at least that long.”

His explanation was less concise than I was used to receiving from him, but I immediately understood his anger. Abandoning the village for even a few months would be disastrous. Some of Ranic’s teachings, along with the books I read, had actually managed to get through to me. So I knew that fields left untended lost levels and quality. Longstanding farms were immune to those losses for a while, but after three months, even those would start losing their growth. In six months, the village would be no better off than a brand-new village. Generations of work would be gone. The local farmers would lose half their production, not counting the cost of going that long without income.

It was a disaster.

That wasn’t enough to put Jeric into a rage though. This wasn’t just because of his village. I knew my friend well enough to understand that. This was about his daughter. Without access to the village to gain more experience, he wouldn’t earn enough experience for his daughter to keep her class and remain a noble. A decade of personal sacrifice would vanish and his child would suffer. She’d become an adventurer, living a life of violence, forced to experience what would likely be a painful end.

That was the anger I saw here.

Jeric’s emotions washed over me, and for a moment, I wasn’t standing in the room with my friend. I was in my head watching Jeric’s reaction, remembering things I didn’t like to think about.

Jeric kept throwing crockery and swearing. His anger overshadowed reason.

I could see that clearly.

I could also see Jeric’s love for his daughter. It was the same love my father had shown me when he taught me how to play guitar, sacrificing weeks of his free time to help me. Seeing Jeric like this awoke painful thoughts I hated to think about, thoughts of my parents’ suffering.

Our technology back home was advanced enough that I couldn’t be sure my body was dead. Even now, almost a year later, it could be lying on a hospital bed, comatose, requiring round-the-clock care.

I didn’t want that. I truly hoped and even prayed that it was in a grave decomposing because it being alive was too painful to think about.

My father, despite his practical nature, had a soft heart. He would bankrupt our family with medical bills to keep my body alive, on life support. He’d go to the hospital every day and hold my hand waiting for me to come back. He’d talk to me, never giving up hope that I’d wake up. My mother would be right there beside him. She wouldn’t agree with his actions after all this time, but she wouldn’t stop him, and she’d be there every day, sitting beside him, offering support.

I could see them sitting there day after day, month after month, year after horrible year, until they had nothing left to give. Until everything was taken from them and the hospital let me die because their money had run out. It was a painful reality my family could be living through right now.

It was kinder for them if my body had suffered a heart attack and died at the convention centre.

That was a better reality, even if my parents had reacted the way Jeric was doing now, shouting and screaming, being angry at the world over having to deal with a dead son. I knew that despite that sort of reaction, they would become strong enough to deal with my death. Maybe not at first. But they would. Eventually. They had each other for support. They could do it. I’d managed to accept the reality of never seeing them again and I was by myself. They could accept me dying, together.

Recognising this truth as the source of my anger took me months and it started all the way back at the beginning when I was sitting on the altar next to Damella and Varla. I didn’t see it sooner because it was too painful for me to confront. Too painful to consider. Like a coward I’d run from it, even though it bounced around in my subconscious constantly. It was why I had been so furious with Damella. It wasn’t that she killed me, like I thought at the time. That only made me angry. It was what she had done to my family. The pain she had caused. It turned simple anger into fury. Fury I’d let loose on a child.

Humans aren’t always rational when our loved ones are involved.

My mind went into overdrive, hoping to find something that would help my friend, and spare him the sort of pain my parents had to experience. A less painful but still rather painful answer came to me. “Am I correct in assuming you can’t gain experience once you’ve been ordered to abandon the village?”

Jeric turned and glared at me. “Yes, why?”

“Because we have until then for you to lose the remaining land around the village to me at ten times its value.”

Back when I’d needed land to test baiting monsters, but couldn’t afford it, I’d developed a method using a bunch of different rules that allowed Jeric to give me the villages land for free, accidentally creating an exploit for noble experience in the process. Jeric had informed me, at the time, that using the gambling method with all the village-owned land would likely earn him enough noble experience for his daughter to keep her class. Knowing that, I’d still asked him not to share the method with anyone until I was ready. He’d agreed despite what it might cost him, because that was the sort of person he was. He was the kind of friend I didn’t deserve to have.

Jeric froze, and then he blinked twice. “But…the taxes…” There was a hint of hope in his tone.

“I’ve got more than 2500 crowns worth of experience in my bag at the inn and that’s at base. I can put the experience up as collateral while I sell off some of it to pay for the land. How much land can there be?”

Jeric put down the plate he was about to throw, losing some of his anger. “Arnold, there are more than 12,000 fields of unfarmed land around the village. That is 750 crowns in taxes which need to be paid in advance. I know you are trying to help, but I can’t let you do that. You can use that money to pass through your thresholds.”

“Holy shit.” I took a breath, trying to get past the price he had said, opened my mouth and, “Holy shit,” came out a second time.

It took a few deep breaths to pull myself together. The high price didn’t change what I wanted to do. It only made me cringe while doing it.

“Jeric, let’s be honest: its money I wouldn’t have without your help. Once this whole giant issue is taken care of, I can make more by continuing to use my method, and I’ve more than enough for the foreseeable future even if I don’t sell above base.”

Jeric seemed to settle into thought. “I suppose if you had to, you could lease the land for the price of the taxes. It would certainly attract more people to the village once this was all over. And you wouldn’t lose out.”

Jeric had to be genuinely desperate to accept such flawed reasoning. Like a good friend, I used that against him for his own good. “Exactly; now let’s go play cards before you get that order to abandon the village.”

* * *

Several hours later, Ranic burst through the parlour door, followed by Jeric’s panic-stricken butler and Wallis, the guard captain. Hamlin was clenching and unclenching his fist, staring daggers at me. The captain was looking around, befuddled.

The captain cleared his throat. “I apologise for the intrusion, sir, but Hamlin said there was a crime being committed here.”

“That charlatan is taking advantage of the mayor in his delicate state,” the butler snapped, pointing his finger at me accusingly.

Ranic took everything in at a glance—the cards, the contracts, the letters of debt. “What’s going on here?”

“I’m buying the land owned by the crown,” I said.

“It looks to me like you are gambling,” the captain said.

“It’s both,” Jeric said before looking at the butler. “I’m sorry to have upset you, Hamlin. Let me explain what’s going on.”

It only took Jeric three minutes to explain, and then the captain only had one question. “Is this legal?”

“Entirely,” Jeric replied. “I had several lawyers check the first time we did so—and I need to invoke your oath that you do not share this with another living soul.”

Hamlin burst into tears, holding one hand to his mouth. “You’re helping the master gain enough experience so his daughter can keep her class. I didn’t realise. Please forgive me,” he sobbed.

“You were looking out for him,” I said, more than a little uncomfortable. I never knew what to do with crying people. “I can’t hold that against you.” I turned to Ranic. “I think he needs a drink. Would you mind getting it for him?”

Ranic turned to the captain. “Can you do it? These two have stumbled onto an absolute goldmine of experience and they’re only doing it at about 5% efficiency. I need to improve their output before they screw up a perfectly good opportunity.”

The captain nodded his head, put his arm over the distraught butler's shoulder, and led the poor man through the house to the kitchen.

Ranic turned to the two of us. “You two can’t seem to help yourselves when it comes to causing trouble ineffectively.”

We stared at the old man with our full attention.

Jeric broke first. “You implied there was a way to improve my experience gains?”

Ranic grinned. “That depends. Is there any particular reason you aren’t raising the value of the land you are selling?”

“He’s buying it at the absolute limit of the price the crown can set. If you know how to raise that price on a stagnant village, please say.”

“Build a house of scholars that specialises in farming,” Ranic said.

“I told you a month ago, the village doesn’t have the money and the regent refused to loan us the funds.”

Ranic pointed at me while staring at Jeric. “If my maths is right, you’re about to gain 375 crowns in the village coffers, even after you’ve paid the king’s portion. That’s enough to legally secure a loan from me and purchase the slot to construct the house of scholars. If you put the order through your village system now, that amount will be deducted from the crown's treasury, and you can reimburse the cost at the end of the month.”

Jeric frowned. “How will having a building slot available change anything?”

Ranic smiled. “It won’t until you allow me to build the house of scholars I requested a month ago. Once you send through the construction request, the village will go through an automatic revaluation phase. For the next week, the price of land here will be able to fluctuate. Usually, that wouldn’t mean anything. However, I’m a level 99 scholar with a speciality in farming. Since the house of scholars would be built with the intent of my being in charge, the base price of the land in this village will immediately triple, re-establishing its pre-stagnation value.”

Jeric started to fish mouth.

I was no less surprised. I hadn’t known Ranic and Jeric had talked about building a house of scholars again. The way the old man spoke, I thought he’d leave Blackwood the moment our contract was over. But apparently, that wasn’t true. Ranic was making his own longterm plans.

Ranic wasn’t done. “Now, I’ve done enough walking around the village to estimate the current value of the farms here, so you can trust me when I tell you that once Arnold purchases the next 1% of the available fields at the maximum price, the minimum value of the land will increase by a further 8%. From there, you will have to continue to buy the village in 1% increments to trigger auto-revaluation. The fact that it is the minimum price being changed and you are buying it for the maximum will cause a compounding effect. I’ve no idea what the final price of the land will be. I need paper to do the math. But it’s going to be a stupidly high price, easily more than ten times what you are currently going to be able to sell it for and that’s with my house of scholars. It’s going to take years for the price to correct itself, but if you are going to do this, then do it right.”

Jeric and I both stared at each other, unable to actually comprehend what Ranic was suggesting. What we were doing was already ridiculous. If Jeric could get ten times as much for the land, that would be ten times the experience, which would be more than enough for his daughter to keep her class—but we weren’t talking about ten times. We were talking about…I didn’t know how much, but it sounded like a lot.

Tears began to form around Jeric’s eyes.

Ranic snapped at him. “We don’t have time for that. You need to go and order my damn house of scholars—or weren’t you listening?”

* * *

Congratulations, you have purchased 5000 fields’ worth of farmland. This level of affluence has earned you a new title: Landlord

Landlord

Level: 1

Effect: +1 intelligence.

* * *

Congratulations, you have purchased 10,000 fields’ worth of farmland. This level of affluence has earned you an increase in level for an existing title: Landlord

Landlord

Level: 2

Effect: +2 Intelligence, +2 charisma

* * *

Congratulations, you have reached the maximum potential for your Gambler skill.

Skill: Gambler

Level: 100

Effect:

+200% to your gambling ability

+100 luck

* * *

Congratulations, you have reached the maximum potential for the Gambler skill. You have earned a new title: Skill Master

Skill Master

Level: 1

Effect: +10% to skill experience.

* * *

Congratulations, you have reached the maximum potential for your Merchant skill.

Skill: Merchant

Level: 100

Effect:

+200% to merchant ability

+200% when haggling above base price.

* * *

Congratulations, you have reached the maximum potential for the Merchant skill. You have earned a new level for your title: Skill Master

Skill Master

Level: 2

Effect: +20% to skill experience.

* * *

Ranic didn’t allow us to rest. He started yelling at anyone who could be of any help to come to our aid. He brought in his stimulant powder when we started getting tired, which turned out to be a less intense version of cocaine that wasn’t addictive, and made sure special food was always on hand for when our stamina dropped more than a few points. Everything was streamlined—and not one second of it was fun.

There was none of the casual atmosphere we shared the first time we had done this. We were both incredibly serious, letting Ranic shuffle and deal as quickly as he could. We added a timer to the game, making a single hand last no longer than a minute. In the beginning, I lost slightly more this way, but as I built up the level of my gambler skill, the overall rate at which I won increased.

It was hell.

But it was worth it.

My hand moved across the contract for the last time as I signed my name. As I put down the pen, a wave of exhaustion flooded me. A large silver crystal of experience formed in Jeric’s hand.

He stared at it in wonder.

I gave Ranic a tired grin as I slumped into the parlour chair.

The old man smiled back. “Damn, I’m good.”

I nodded, tiredly. It had been two days since any of us had slept…and the walls were moving. No call arrived for the village to be abandoned. We’d beaten the regent’s decision. We could have stopped when we reached the amount of experience Jeric needed, but none of us wanted to. I had been gaining crazy experience in my merchant and gambler skills. This was a once in a lifetime chance.

At 750 crowns, the price of reaching level 100 in two skills was insanely low.

I tapped the table tiredly to get Ranic’s attention. “Now that you’re not busy, do you mind telling me what luck does? My gambler skill is maxed out after all this, so I figured that I should probably know.”

“It depends on your class for the most part,” Ranic said wearily. “For a warrior, it mainly increases their chance to hit or be missed by a critical hit. For an adventurer, it increases the loot dropped from monsters inside dungeons. For an actual gambler, it increases the good cards they get while gambling or the roll of the dice, but their opponent's luck counters that. For farmers, it increases and decreases the frequency with which they receive percentage chances. With your luck at a hundred, it will double or halve that frequency.”

“So, it does nothing for me,” I said.

“Not the way you farm, but other farmers would scream with glee to have their luck as high as yours.”

“Most people believe higher luck actually makes you luckier,” Jeric said, “but as there is no measurable way to prove this, scholars tend to ignore it.”

“That’s true,” Ranic said.

I looked over at Jeric. “I think you got the better end of this deal.”

He looked at me and smiled. “Thank you.”

Your relationship with Jeric has improved from Friend to Ally. As your Ally, Jeric can be relied upon to keep your secrets and help you when you are in trouble. Your problems are his problems.

As I read the prompt, Jeric turned to Ranic and said, “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”

Ranic lost some of his humour and his eyes turned haunted. “It pains me to say that I do. Children are the most precious gift you will ever receive in life. There is no length I would not go to for a few more minutes of time with my own. My heart overflows with happiness for you.”

It was easy for me to forget that Ranic was 143 years old. That he had outlived everyone he loved. Looking at him, he could be mistaken for a healthy, fit man of 70.

The room fell silent as we all began to reflect on what we had and what we had lost. The silence stretched on and, in only a few short minutes, was replaced by the soft snores of my two friends. A contented smile formed as I closed my eyes and joined them.

22

A BIG PROBLEM, A BIGGER SOLUTION

Hamlin closed the door, leaving Ranic, Jeric, and I alone in the parlour. The random summons in the middle of the day—along with Jeric’s dour expression—suggested that the news wasn’t good. He’d been waiting on the regent’s answer over whether or not they would abandon the village for more than a week. Each passing day left him tenser and more stressed. And finally, he had an answer.

“They’re not going to abandon the village because of what we did.” Disbelief filled Jeric’s tone even as he told us. “The regent says the price they are obligated to pay the villagers if they wanted to sell their land back to the crown once the abandonment order is made is now too high, even at a tenth of the new base value. She would rather deal with the consequences of having the village destroyed by the giant than emptying her coffers.”

Ranic hadn’t had a chance to sit me down and explain how the whole village system worked, so I was a bit confused by everything that Jeric was saying. “She’s sending the adventurers, right?”

Jeric shook his head. “There’s no one to send. All the high-level adventurers are off either trying to track down the hobgoblins that keep sacking villages or they’re dealing with the silkworm spiders. The only adventurers available are all around level twenty and they’re nowhere near strong enough to deal with a giant.”

“Hire mercenaries then,” Ranic suggested.

“The regents tried,” Jeric said. “None of the mercenary companies that are available are strong enough to take on a giant. And before you ask, I’ve made my own enquiries and found the same response. The only one willing to even attempt it wants to do a defensive action and they aren’t confident they will be able to kill the giant even if they do.”

I huffed out a breath. “So if we can’t abandon the village and we can’t call in aid, what’s our next step?”

Jeric swallowed. “I was hoping you might be able to make a trap that could kill it.”

Fear gripped me, squeezing my guts, twisting them into a tight knot. Flashbacks of the giant tearing through my barn like it was a gingerbread house filled my mind. I didn’t want anything to do with the giant.

I looked at Ranic, fighting the urge to tremble. “Is that even possible?” Goosebumps broke out across my skin as my clothes dampened with sweat.

Ranic shook his head. “It’s never been done…it would be suicide to try. A primitive giant’s skin is almost as tough as iron and you have to get through their fur to reach it. Their bones are stronger than steel and there is enough muscle to spread whatever force you try to use against them. A ballista bolt usually only penetrates about a foot deep and they treat it like it’s little more than a blackberry thorn. They are walking fortresses with an unnatural amount of health. The traps in your barn would cause paper cuts. The axes might cause a flesh wound if you hit it in the head, but it would still bounce off its skull.”

“What about setting it on fire?” It was my go-to backup plan for dealing with anything.

Ranic snorted. “You’d have to burn through its fur—and that takes time. Wizards consider it a death sentence to try. They focus on electrical spells, hurling lighting at them.”

Jeric frowned. “I only made the suggestion because I recalled a ballad about some adventurers who trapped a giant in a ravine.”

“They did,” Ranic said. “But the whole incident was an accident, and there were so many dead by that point that they didn’t even manage to kill the giant, only slowed its progress long enough to get away. Jeric, I don’t think you understand how dangerous giants are. When they are fully grown, their only natural predators are dragons and even then, giants hunt the adolescent dragons when they come into the giant’s territory. They’re the reason northern city walls have to be a hundred feet high, and why the dwarves don’t live above ground.”

His last words planted a seed of an idea. But I needed more information to water it and let it grow. “So walls can keep them out?”

“Walls can keep one out,” Ranic said pointedly. “If there are more than one, then they will work together to help each other over.”

“But stone is strong enough to stop them?”

“Nobles wouldn’t spend all that money on it if it wasn’t. What insane idea are you coming up with this time?”

Jeric grinned at me, hope entering his gaze.

“I’m not sure yet. I need to get a drink to calm my nerves and maybe go for a walk.” I stood up, heading for the door. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Jeric nodded and turned to Ranic. “Chess?”

“Sure, why not? It’s not like I have much else to do around here.”

* * *

The socialite ability cleared my head in a matter of minutes, letting me think rationally. My first instinct had been to tell Jeric I couldn’t help him. Just thinking about the giant made me almost animalistic, stripping me of my ability to reason. Every instinct told me to flee. However, Jeric was my friend—probably my best friend. I couldn’t abandon him.

There was no one in my old life that I would have handed over a fortune to. I might have even thought twice before going through with giving it to family. But that wasn’t the case with Jeric. He’d helped me again and again. He’d told me I’d created an exploit even when he didn’t have to. He’d given me land for free. He’d kept my secrets, despite what betraying me would gain him. I couldn’t do any less for him after what he had done for me.

He had a giant problem. That meant we had a giant problem. I wandered around the village, walking past empty buildings, reading my notes on trap designs. None of what I had could be used for a giant, but they inspired me. After about an hour, an idea began to form, sprouting from the seed Ranic had planted in my head. After another hour, it started to flesh itself out enough to share. I wasn’t egotistical enough to think I could do this on my own. There was so much about this world that I didn’t know. But it was a place to start.

I had surrounded myself with smart friends who could help me sort out the rest.

I made my way back to Jeric’s parlour. He and Ranic were in the middle of a game of chess. Each had a glass of wine and there was a plate of cheese and small salamis beside the chessboard.

They looked up as I entered, forgetting the game.

I took a seat and jumped straight in. “Can we make a giant-sized pitfall?”

Ranic coughed, clearing his throat, moved to speak, and then frowned in silence. Several seconds passed. “The spikes might injure it if the fall was great enough, and I have to stress the might, but they wouldn’t kill it. Even if you managed to lure it in successfully, it would pick itself up and dig through the ground creating foot and handhold to climb out.”

I nodded, expecting the answer. “You said killing it was next to impossible, so I wasn’t thinking about killing it—though it would be nice if we could throw fire and a few other items at it to try.”

“A giant is not like other monsters,” Ranic said. “You were there. You had to have felt its presence. That sense of overwhelming power. You will not scare it off with a few injuries.”

“I wasn’t thinking about scaring it off. And I wasn’t thinking of digging the pitfall into dirt either. My idea requires us to dig into bedrock. If we can make a pit big enough to contain it, and deep enough that it can’t climb out of it, and strong enough that it can’t smash its way out of it, then all we need to do is lure it into it. After it's trapped, we can just keep it there. Let it starve to death or die of dehydration.”

“Giants can hibernate very effectively,” Ranic said, “so it will take a couple of years to kill it through starvation or dehydration…but making a massive pitfall just to hold it…now that has some possibilities.” Ranic's gazed off in thought, focus disappearing from the room. He began talking to himself. “You’d need to know how far you would have to dig down to reach bedrock and then keep going for at least three and a half fields. The sides would have to be rounded so it couldn’t prop itself in a corner to shimmy out, and it would also have to be wide enough that it couldn’t touch two sides simultaneously in any way.” He picked a mini salami and took a bite. “You’d also want the curve of the wall to be gentle enough that it couldn’t run around to get up and out…that would make it much bigger. It would almost be the size of an underground reservoir…well, why couldn’t it be? It could be multipurpose. It would save on infrastructure costs later and then the mining guild would have an understanding of what they were building. It would also benefit from my skills…but the cost would be astronomical.”

I glanced at Jeric, smirking. “Do you think he knows we’re still in the room?”

Jeric smiled back. “Undoubtedly; we just aren’t worth his attention.”

Ranic suddenly stood and glanced at Jeric, not having heard a word we said. “I need access to the village interface and the surveying maps that were created before the village was constructed.”

Jeric frowned. “Is it entirely necessary?”

“Yes.”

Jeric sighed and stood. “Follow me.”

I was more than a little intrigued by what a village interface could be. If it was anything like my farming interface, there would be all sorts of useful functions. We exited the parlour and moved through the house to a door that opened to a staircase leading under the manor. At the bottom of the staircase was a metallic blue door carved with arcane symbols. There was no door handle or obvious method for opening it.

Jeric stopped before the door and looked back at me. “Arnold, on the other side of this door is the village’s interface, the centre of its magical nexus. Please, put your hands in your pockets the entire time you are inside so that you do not inadvertently trigger the system to do something disastrous.”

I slid my hands in my pockets, even more curious—but a little bit annoyed. “Why aren’t you asking Ranic to put his hands in his pockets?”

“Ranic knows what he’s doing. You do not.”

Jeric turned back to the door and placed his palm against a rune on the top left corner. In blues and greens, runes and sigils lit up across the metal, illuminating the dark staircase. Heavy locks began to rotate inside the door before the door swung in.

To be honest, after the fancy door, I expected more inside.

The room was smaller than the parlour. In the middle of the floor sat a model of the village, surrounded by knee-high railing. Oak filing cabinets were against the far wall and several large oak chests were to my right. Apart from it being about as safe as a bank vault, there was nothing else that was interesting.

I followed the others inside, keeping that thought to myself.

Jeric took Ranic to the cabinets and started opening drawers to collect the papers he’d asked for. They started talking about things I didn’t understand, so I lost interest and began examining the model.

It was kind of impressive now that I was looking at it closer. It held every building in and around the village and even showed the hexagonal shape that was the extent of the village’s zone of influence. Each property had a small border line displaying where each person's land began and ended.

The longer I looked at the model, the more unsettled I became. It was almost too good. Then I noticed my property. Well, the small property I owned before I bought everything else. The farmhouse on the Darkwood farm lay in pieces and the barn was a torn, burnt husk. Its guts were open to the world. You could even see the open pit inside.

My mouth dropped open.

My hand came out of my pocket as I crouched down and reached out to touch the ruins of my barn, hoping to peel back the debris.

“Arnold, stop!” The shout came simultaneously from both Ranic and Jeric.

I froze, hand only a few inches beyond the railings. I turned and gave them a guilty smile. They looked genuinely horrified. “Can I put my hand back in my pocket?” They both scowled at me and nodded. “What did I almost do?”

“Any number of things,” Ranic said, since Jeric was too stiff and pale to talk. “You might have instantly rebuilt your barn, which would have cost ten times its base price, or you could have removed the property from the village.” He looked at Jeric. “I know he’s your friend, but you either need to kick him out for safety or explain the basics to him. He is as ignorant as a child right now.”

Jeric took a deep breath to calm himself and then walked over and pointed to the village in the middle of the model. “This isn’t a model of the village. This is its interface. It controls every aspect of the village’s magical system. And anyone can access it while in this room since the village doesn’t have a titled lord.”

He waved his hand and different sections of the model began to glow in a multitude of colours. He made a different gesture and the village began to grow. Jeric’s manor slowly doubled in size and then tripled. It wasn’t until the farmland around the village disappeared and the buildings became big enough that I noticed the fine, sand-like material that was moving towards each object.

“What’s with the sand?”

“It’s illusion sand. Like an illusion, it can take any form. Unlike an illusion, once it’s taken that form, it doesn’t require mana to maintain.”

“Handy.”

“Very. Now, you see this glowing blue area here, the one behind that temple. That is where I purchased the slot that will allow Ranic’s house of scholars to influence the village. Purchasing the slot wove it into the village’s magical nexus, which is why that area glows blue like the manor.”

“So that’s what will allow Ranic’s house of scholars to augment everything within the village’s sphere of influence once it is built?”

“Yes. Without that purchase, it would just be a building and have the same green glow as a farm.” He made another gesture and a number of small farms from the western side of the village appeared. Above them was the same green glow.

“So green indicates buildings that are influenced by the village, and blue indicates buildings that influence it.”

“Precisely. But if that was all the interface was capable of, it wouldn’t be that useful.” He made another gesture.

All sorts of food items with numbers next to them appeared above the farms.

My jaw dropped. “Is that their production?”

“Yes. With it, I can keep track of the village’s income to gauge tax revenue and expenses.”

“Are there other resources besides food?”

“We were a level three village before we were sacked, which means we’re only big enough to have three influential buildings and resources. Currently, we only have one potential influential building and two resources.” He gestured and the model changed again, showing the woods on the western side of the village. There were two distinct areas, each with an indicator for daily production rate above it, along with what looked like a max production rate.

“The whole village is a top-down strategy game.” I giggled as I looked over everything. “I want one.”

“If you reach level 50 and Jeric agrees to let you build a farm manor, you’ll have access to one for your farm,” Ranic said without looking over.

“Really?”

Ranic shook his head, not bothering to answer my question a second time.

I turned back to Jeric. “So why can’t the village produce other resources?”

“The short answer is there isn’t enough ambient magic here to sustain more resource production. The village is already struggling to keep up with lumber. The forest’s daily maximums have halved since the eastern side of the village was sacked and we lost more than half of the population.”

“Magic for villages comes from the people within them, right?” I said, remembering the little Salem had explained. “So since there are not as many people around generating magic, there isn’t enough magic to magically grow trees overnight.”

“The simple answer is yes. But it’s a bit more complicated than that. Good farms produce excess magic, while poorly-run, bad farms consume it. The same goes for businesses to a lesser extent. An ineffective farm is more of a drain on a village than empty land.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. Killing all those monsters has kept your farm magically positive.” He added far more quietly, “Barely positive.”

“So you need more magic in order to increase your production of resources. How do you expand to other resources like iron or gold?”

“I go into the interface, select the resource I want, and then purchase the expansion slot for the village,” Jeric said like it was the most normal thing.

“So, if you wanted to purchase a mithril mine, you would just buy it, and the mithril mine would appear?”

“No, and yes. Village’s sites are surveyed for resources, those resources are assessed for their viability, and a map of the area is created before scholars assess the village’s growth potential. Only if the resources are considered acceptable will a village actually be built. Until we expand Blackwood into a town, the only resources we have access to are clay, wood, and a higher form of granite called concentrated granite. Ultimately we’re a farming village and will always be a farming village. Other villages are built in locations like mountains where there are large deposits of stone and metal but no farmable land, so we supply them with food and they supply us with metal.”

“So everywhere has its speciality, and here it is farming. What resources become available if you expand?”

“No idea,” Jeric said. “We’re a border village. The only direction we can expand is into The Wild Woods and it takes considerable time and resources to expand into unclaimed land.”

Ranic walked over, holding a large map, muttering to himself. He began taking control of the interface, changing the model. “It looks like you can dig down between fifty and eighty feet anywhere in the village and you will hit concentrated granite that’s good enough for what we want to attempt, so I think this might be viable. However, I’m going to have to work out the costs involved, and do some research into whether or not the walls will have to be magically reinforced. Also, I noticed while looking through the survey map that you have a small crystallized mana deposit that is serviceable as a resource when the village grows into a town.”

Jeric sighed. “That is not meant to be public knowledge.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Crystallized mana is the main ingredient used in enchanting and is worth its weight in silver and can be mined directly,” Jeric said. “If it was known that there was a small deposit under the village, profiteers would come in and mine it out without considering the longterm consequences. Without the deposit, the village won’t gain access to the resource option when it grows into a town. Losing the deposit would be a massive blow to our future economy as that resource will become a serious source of wealth for Blackwood.”

Ranic chuckled. “I was wondering why Redcliff remained here. Now, his level makes sense.”

I gave Ranic a questioning look.

“He’s the wizard academy’s watchdog, making sure no one disturbs the deposit. Wizards plan in decades, not years. They’ll keep someone here to watch over their investment for a century if they have to. I’m betting they’ve already put a down payment on the deposit, which is how this village could afford to reach level three, because it certainly wasn’t through productive farming.”

“Are you done in here?” Jeric asked, apparently unwilling to confirm Ranic’s bet.

“For now,” Ranic said. “I might need to use it again once I get a better idea of what this project will involve. I think we might be able to repurpose the pitfall for longterm gains.”

23

CRIMINAL MINDS

A day later, Jeric and I stood around the plans Ranic had unrolled across the parlour table. We were at a complete loss for words, and Ranic was grinning like a madman, more bug-eyed than ever.

“Is that even feasible?” Jeric asked, recovering first.

“Entirely; it is not even in the top ten largest water reservoirs in the kingdom.”

I stopped scratching my head. “Why’s it so big?” It was more than three hundred feet across and two hundred feet deep. It kind of looked like a quarry lake.

Ranic pointed to the pillar that was the centre of the giant pit. “Well, I ran into a few problems. Like I said yesterday, the pit has to be wide enough and circular, so the giant can’t press against the walls in a corner to get out. And if the curve is too small, it could run along the edge and use the curve to give it enough upward traction to get out. That extra size made it impossible to cover, so I had to add a central tower to rest the camouflage covering on top of.”

“That’s why it looks like a doughnut,” I said.

“What’s a doughnut? Never mind, it’s not important. Call it a ring. But yes that is why there is a tower in the centre which is also why it’s bigger. The distance from the tower to the wall has to be far enough away that the giant can’t leap from the wall to the tower or from the tower to the wall. It also has to be wide enough around that the giant can’t wrap its arms around and climb up, but even if it can, it doesn’t matter because it’s going to end up standing on a perch that is too far away from the sides for it to jump to them. But I know we would all rather it be in the pit than on top of the tower, which is why I made it so wide.”

“How much is it going to cost?” Jeric asked.

“Between 10,000 and 12,000 crowns, since we need to build it in less than six months to be safe,” Ranic said. “The positive news is that once the giant is killed, the reservoir will service the water needs of roughly 20,000 fields worth of orchards.”

“Even if we ignore that ridiculous cost, there are only a dozen farmers in this village with the levels to work those orchards,” Jeric replied.

“I’m not trying to insult your village, but Arnold has asked me to train some of them in my spare time, and I wouldn’t trust any of them with an orchard,” Ranic said. “We’d bring in an outside workforce.”

“There’s nothing here to entice them,” Jeric said. “I mean no insult to you, but even with a house of scholars, the experience bonus doesn’t compare with what they could gain in other towns and cities.”

“Not yet,” Ranic said. “However, when Arnold passes through his second threshold, there is a legendary promotion he will gain access to from killing monsters. Upgraded, it will give those under him twice the experience bonus they would receive from working for most farm managers. I believe that will be enough enticement for many.”

“That requires getting Arnold through his second threshold first, though,” Jeric countered.

“You make that sound like a challenge when it isn’t. I can teach almost any farmer what they need to produce an excellent crop. The ones who work for him in the beginning won’t need to be particularly skilled, only have the right attitude. It will only take me a year or so to get him to where he needs to be and once that happens, better candidates will quickly follow.”

They were talking around the obvious flaw in Ranic’s whole plan. “Ranic, I don’t have the gold for the water reservoir and I certainly don’t have the spare money to plant orchards.”

The bug-eyed look returned, along with the grin. “You’ve got that auction house organising the auction of that experience, right?”

“Yeah, Jeric said, they should be back to me in a few days, but that will only make me 5000 at the most, not 12,000.”

“We can easily fix that after you’ve sold the experience. We’ll just have to visit the bank in Weldon and see about getting you a loan.”

I frowned, not following his reasoning. “Why would they loan me money?”

Jeric’s eyes went wide and his head snapped towards Ranic. “You are going to lie to a bank?”

Ranic tried not to laugh and failed horribly. “I won’t lie. It’s not my fault if they look up his land’s asset value and see his sale through the auction house and come to their own conclusions. I mean, it will be my fault, but I won’t be lying, so it’s not illegal.”

“That’s fraud,” Jeric said.

Ranic shook his head, grinning wildly. “No, it’s not.”

I glared at him. “It sounds like fraud to me.”

“Fraud requires you directly lie. Lies of omission do not count. Saying you own half a million crowns worth of land—even though none of that land is currently doing anything—is technically not a lie. Saying you own half a million crowns worth of land that is developed would be. You just have to drop off the ‘developed’ part.” He slapped me on the back. “Don’t worry, Arnold. I’ll do the talking.”

My frown deepened. “Why would that change anything?”

“Well, I have a long-standing relationship with the bank in Weldon, with a rather substantial savings from my farming investments. Also, the owner of the bank is my neighbour. My endorsement should help move the conversation along. I’m not saying it will be easy once you have the loan, but you should be able to make enough income to pay off the tax and interest payments eventually.”

“When?” I asked, exasperated.

“Eighteen months.”

“What about before that?”

“You’ve got enough money to cover the interest and taxes until then,” Ranic admitted. “Hopefully, you will have your new barn well before then and with that more experience to sell.”

I scowled, not liking this at all but willing to hear him out. “What’s the interest rate?” Old credit card statements were flashing before my eyes.

“It’s 3% annually, split in two payments.” Ranic saw my expression and misinterpreted my reaction. “I know it seems high, but I don’t know the better city banks as well as this one, so I can’t guarantee they will loan you the money, so you will have to bear the expense for twelve months; after that I think we can convince one of the better banks to take on your debt at 2%.”

Jeric growled and slammed his fist against the table. “3% is pure robbery.”

Ranic shrugged. “Weldon’s head banker hasn’t passed through his third threshold. The additional funds they receive for their loans are limited. Their 3% rate is actually outstanding considering their limitations. Their conservative nature keeps them semi-competitive.”

Jeric growled again.

I looked at Jeric and couldn’t stop myself snorting, suddenly a lot less worried than the moment before. “Honestly, if you think 3% is bad, you don’t want to know what kind of interest we are charged on loans in my world.” I turned to Ranic. “I’m not on board yet, but how big of a loan were you thinking?”

“I believe 200,000 crowns should do it.”

“What?!” That was all I could say.

Jeric dropped the mini salami he was holding and it made a slapping sound as it struck the floor.

“Hear me out,” Ranic said, patting my shoulder, trying and failing to calm me down. “If we ask for too little, they will find it suspicious and investigate, so we have to go bigger than we need. I know you cannot service that large a debt, so I propose that we ask for 50,000 this year with a preapproved loan for another 50,000 the next three years. Hopefully, we can change banks before we have to take out the next loan or decide not to pick it up.”

“I didn’t think Weldon had a bank big enough for this,” Jeric said.

“They don’t. The bank I’m suggesting can cover the first 100,000, but they will have to go looking for the second. They won’t turn down the chance at gaining extra experience even if there is almost no financial gain for them. They might actually be relieved if we get trapped and have to ask to be released from the follow-up loans.”

I grabbed the edge of the table to steady myself. “Why does it feel like I’m just digging myself into a larger and larger hole?”

“Because you are,” Ranic said cheerfully. “But if you come out the other side, this is going to be glorious.”

“You came up with all this in only a night?” Jeric asked.

Ranic snorted. “I’ve had most of this planned for the last month, back before I proposed purchasing the house of scholars to you. This whole giant incident is just putting me three years ahead of schedule. Isn’t it exciting, though?”

I glared at him. “No. No, it's not.”

* * *

We were back in the interface room under the manor. It had taken Ranic almost an hour to convince me that I needed to commit fraud. Well, not fraud—legal fraud. However, it had taken him twice that long to convince Jeric. It all came down to one simple fact. No one was coming to protect the village and the villagers wouldn’t abandon Blackwood without the abandonment order paying them to leave. They’d stay right up until the next time the giant showed up and if they didn’t get another head start like the one they’d received this time it would likely eat them.

If I wasn’t part of the reason the village hadn’t received the abandonment order, I would have said that it was their choice and walked away. However, I was. In my haste to help Jeric, I hadn’t considered the consequences of abusing the system and Jeric hadn’t been thinking clearly enough to question our actions. He hadn’t been in the right state of mind to explain that the abandonment order came with all sorts of benefits for the villagers. That it was a form of insurance which allowed them to sell their farms to the crown for a tenth of its value or receive half their usual income while it was in place. Sure, I’d been ignorant of what an abandonment order entitled, but that wasn’t really an excuse I could accept. I was responsible. We were responsible.

So now we were trying to figure out where the reservoir should go.

Ranic paused, turned away from the model of the village, and frowned at me. “You said you planned to lure the giant to the pitfall. How exactly did you intend to do that?”

“I figured I would throw something at it and run like hell,” I said, suppressing my urge to remain silent. This was my idea. I didn’t like it, but it was the best one I could come up with. I couldn’t chicken out. No matter how terrified I was.

“Be serious, Arnold. I need to know how you intend to lure it to the reservoir. It will affect where we place it.”

“He was serious,” Jeric said, without looking up from the map.

“I was. Why are you looking at me like that? Why won’t it work?”

Ranic sighed and shook his head. “A running giant can out-sprint a magically enhanced racing horse. Once it has noticed you and gives chase, there is no scenario where it doesn’t catch you.”

“I figured as much, which is why I’m planning to purchase some magical items that will increase my movement speed. I got the idea from one of the farm upgrades. It doubles movement speed for my farm. If I could afford it, I’d just choose that, but I’m more than 90,000 farming points away from being able to do that. So I’ll have to settle for items.”

“That will cost a small fortune,” Ranic said.

“So I shouldn’t do it?”

“I didn’t say that. Let’s call your throw-something-and-run-away idea Plan D—for desperate. I think Plan A should involve setting up a lure in the middle of the tower. Maybe a pen full of sheep or a few caged monsters if you have them.”

“That does sound safer,” I said, liking it a whole lot more than my idea. “Won’t it realise that it’s a trap if we do that? I know that canvas you mentioned will make the pitfall look like a grass field once the grass is grown, but isn’t staking a bunch of animals out a little too obvious? I thought you said giants were semi-intelligent.”

“They are, which is why we might need your Plan D, and a better Plan A.” Ranic made a gesture, and the model changed, showing the eastern side of the village and a bunch of open farmland. “I think we should build it here,” he said, pointing to a spot a mile directly east of the village. “The giant will have to walk right over or next to it to get to the village. It will give Arnold a chance if he has to throw something and run and should make anything we stake out obvious.”

“Arnold will have to use at least 1,000 fields worth of his claim to build a reservoir there,” Jeric said. “None of the existing farms he purchased are close enough.”

“I realise that,” Ranic replied.

“It will make connecting the other farms more difficult.”

“I realise that too.”

“What do you mean it will make connecting the other farms more difficult?” I asked.

Jeric made a gesture. The model of the village zoomed out until everything could be seen. He made another gesture and then a whole lot of areas suddenly glowed red. They were all over the village. “Those are the existing farms you bought from the village. They make up about a third of the land you own within the village’s zone of influence.”

“Okay, why do I need to connect them?”

“Because if you don’t, without a farm manor, they are treated as separate farms. Meaning they will accumulate farming points and upgrades individually,” Ranic said. “Traditionally, a village-sized zone of influence can fit 50,000 fields, but it only starts with 5,000. Each time a new level is purchased for the village, another 5,000 fields become available. Right now, there is a lot of spare land, which means farmers get grazing rights to go along with their fields, which is the only reason most stayed, but as the village levels, they lose those rights, only keeping the land allotment for each field. That allotment is where farmers build their farmhouse and barn.”

“So basically, if a farm is between two of my farms, they are treated as two separate farms instead of one large farm.”

“Yes,” Jeric replied. “That’s why connecting your farms is so important. If you don’t, it will make it that much harder to run a profitable farm since the benefits from your promotions and threshold boons can only be applied to one.”

“Couldn’t I just sell off the farms that aren’t connected?”

“That is one option,” Jeric said.

“It’s not a good option,” Ranic countered. “Look, building the reservoir is just a means to an end. But it is an end that is going to put you deeply in debt. It is also an extensive project that will require a workforce of thousands, so it’s not going to be the only project that takes place.”

I frowned. This was the first I’d heard about this. “What else are we going to do?”

“Build,” Ranic said. “Large farms need infrastructure, and right now, you have none. You’ll need housing for your workers and barns for your produce and equipment. You’ll also need good roads to connect everything. Those can be made from the waste product of the reservoir.”

“That sounds expensive…actually, all of this is expensive. That last part just makes it sound more expensive. How much gold are you planning on spending?”

“Twenty-five to thirty,” Ranic said, far too calmly.

“Thousand!”

“Yes, thousand. Running a farm with 10,000 fields is not cheap.”

“Why is the farm suddenly that big? When we talked in the past, you said you could get me through my thresholds with less than a thousand fields.”

“I can, but you’ve repeatedly said you wanted to get through your thresholds as quickly as possible, and you currently own that much land. It makes sense to use it.”

I figured I was having heart palpitations because that would explain the pounding in my chest. “We can service the debt, right?”

“Yes, after eighteen months. If we need more before then, you will have to gain it through luring monsters.”

The kind of money he was talking about meant a lot of monsters if I needed more money. That was a lot of monsters I wasn’t currently comfortable going after. “Here’s an idea,” I said shakily. “There will be 20,000 crowns leftover after all the infrastructure costs. Why don’t we use that for expenses?”

“Standard loan contracts don’t allow using a loan to service interest or taxes,” Jeric said. “And before you ask, yes, they can tell.”

Damn it.

“You will only be able to use the loan for purchases related to your farm, and again they can tell,” Jeric added.

Damn it.

“Don’t look so upset,” Ranic said, taking over the conversation. “That technically includes your barn traps. You will be able to build anything you want in order to lure the giant.”

“I can already afford to build any of my designs. I was already considering building one of the automated ones.”

Ranic rolled his eyes. “First of all, don’t use your own money. You need that for taxes and interest. And I wasn’t talking about building a single barn. I was referring to your design for a trap-protected village.”

Excitement tore through me, washing away the fear. My design for a trap-protected village was my ultimate end goal when it came to testing out my trapping method. It involved a layer of automated barns larger than my original barn, backed up by a second layer of even larger barns. If my original barn was Kevin McCallister in scale, then this was Rambo. Definitely Rambo.

I turned to Jeric, grinning. “How many fields do I need to claim to control the entire eastern border to The Wild Woods? And where do I need to go to find an actual trapsmith to help me with my designs?”

24

BIG BUSINESS AND ITS SURPRISES

Beldose, the Bank of Weldon's owner, gave me another casual glance he thought I wouldn’t notice as I sat in his office. He had a small potbelly that stuck out and a large black moustache. Ranic was in the middle of telling him an animated story about an investment he had made in potatoes seventy years ago, using lots of hand gestures and laughter.

It wasn’t a bad story considering it was about potatoes. He’d somehow predicted a southern blight that had killed off their crop for three months straight and doubled the price of potatoes. He’d made an absolute killing.

Apart from introducing myself, I had only said one thing: “I am paying you not to waste my time,” which Ranic used as a weapon to hurry the meeting along.

The Bank of Weldon wasn’t all that different from the bank in Mary Poppins, except every so often, there was a small flash that indicated there was something magical going on in the background.

Auctioning off the experience went better than I hoped. All up, my lot sold for 5,805 crowns. I’d gone straight to the local administrators and paid the advanced taxes that were due on my new property. It had significantly depleted my funds, but I was far from poor. Though at the rate Ranic wanted me to spend money, I soon would be.

He had taken me to a boutique tailor and I’d had to hand over 15 crowns for five sets of clothing. The clothing was required for my appointments with the bank. He didn’t want me appearing in the same outfit twice, or dressing like a pauper, though he had no problem wearing his old scholar’s robe.

Yes, I’d almost choked at the cost.

But I actually choked when he took me to the magic shop and had me spend 55 crowns on a privacy mark which allowed me to hide my name, class, level, attributes, titles, and marks from all but the most potent magical investigations.

I was currently only Landlord Arnold to anyone who looked. Lying to this extreme, where even my name was a lie, made me very uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable that I rejected the plan.

A woman entered the office and whispered in Beldose's ear for several seconds. The bank owner’s attention turned to me. “Landlord Arnold, your credentials check out. We have verified the value of the assets you wish to put up as collateral. I am, however, interested in why you chose to do business with our particular bank?”

I took a deep breath, turning it into a pause. “Master Scholar Ranic has a long-standing relationship with your bank. He said there are others I might use whose interests rates were more agreeable, but he could not vouch for their service. I went to a lot of trouble to secure his expertise, so it would be foolish of me not to heed his advice. You are the bank he said would work best with me. So, you are the one I have approached.” Not a single word of what I said was a lie. It was all just a twist of the truth. Good enough that the room’s magical lie detections system hadn’t picked up any falsehood.

The owner nodded. “I will present your application to the partners. I apologise in advance, but it may take us a few days to get back to you.”

“That’s fine,” Ranic said, chuckling. “Landlord Arnold is my guest, and you know where I live if you need to contact him.”

Of course the bank owner knew where Ranic lived. They were neighbours.

* * *

A few days later, with my loan secured, Ranic and I sat in a different office. This one belonged to Sadri, the head of Weldon’s mining guild. The city had a small quarry operation, not big enough for our project, but it was connected to the other mining guilds in the north.

“I’m not saying we can’t do it,” Sadri said, nervously fiddling with the papers in front of her. “I’m just not willing to talk price until the representatives of the other guilds have arrived.”

I rolled my eyes.

Ranic snorted. “You mean you’re waiting for the head of Backfill’s guild to arrive since she is a merchant and you’re hoping she will haggle up the price. My employer is willing to pay for a rushed job. The idea of a rushed job is to move quickly. Holding up this project to squeeze a bit more out of him is the exact opposite of what he wants. You are already getting 50% above the base rate.”

She raised her hands as if it was something that couldn’t be helped. “I’m sorry, but I’m not authorised to speak on the other guild’s behalf.”

Ranic glanced at me, expression unsteady.

I gave him a gruff theatrical nod. We’d practiced this conversation dozens of times while travelling, just like we had the one at the bank. So far it was going to plan.

Ranic took a deep breath. “Here is our final offer and it will only last until we leave the room. My employer will pay you twice your standard rate for this job, and let you negotiate directly with the other guilds for their assistance, but in return, you will make two concessions. Your people will head to the village within the week and any future projects with your guild and those you contract will cost no more than 25% above base.”

Her eyelids fluttered. “There could be future projects?”

“Yes; now you have heard his proposal, so you have until my employer finishes his drink to decide.”

I picked up my half-drunk cup of tea and took a sip.

* * *

There had been meetings with the smithies and other meetings with the constructors’ guild, a subsidiary branch of the builders’ guild. The second meeting had gone late into the night as they tried to get me drunk enough to haggle up the price. All they ended up achieving was a 6% reduction on their end. So you could say I was more than a little grouchy when Ranic’s servant woke me up an hour after sunrise.

“Sir, you need to wake up and dress. The city guard is here for you.”

I let out a groan as I looked around for the source of the voice. An elderly man, one of Ranic’s servants I hadn’t spoken with yet, who had remained in Weldon, stood in the doorway to my suite—calling it a bedroom was a disservice. “Who’s at the what now?” It came out as a grumble.

“The city guard is here to see you. They intend to escort you to the regent’s palace.”

“That’s not even in this city,” I muttered before rolling over. A few more seconds passed as I tried to go back to sleep. However, the situation slowly crept up on me. I turned back, the words finally sinking in. Because of his calm tone, I hadn’t immediately realized the seriousness of the situation. “The city guard wants to escort me to the regent? Am I under arrest?”

“I do not believe so. From what I overheard, she’s invited you to visit—though the invitation does not seem to be optional. However, I had little time to gather any information before the master sent me here to wake you.” The servant walked to the wardrobe and began removing my clothes. “I will set out your attire for the day and begin to pack up your other belongings just in case. I am not sure how quickly they will force you to depart, but you should hurry. A city guard’s captain is here and it seems like he is not in a patient mood.”

I rolled out of bed and started pulling on the clothes he laid out. I grabbed my brush from where it sat beside the mirror dresser thingy I didn’t know the name of but knew my grandmother had had one. I quickly brushed through and straightened out my hair in the mirror. “Where are they?”

“The master is having the captain and his guards wait in the front entrance as a sign of his displeasure. I’ll only be a few minutes with your belongings, sir.”

I stifled a yawn and put down the brush. “Thank you.”

I exited my expensively-furnished suite into a hallway that was no less lavish. Until we’d arrived at Ranic’s manor, I’d been entirely ignorant of how wealthy he was. I’d taken him as a well-to-do upper-middle-class kind of guy with a large portfolio of retirement investments, a lower 1% kind of gentleman who had achieved his success through age and savings.

I’d been wrong.

Ranic was more like the middle of the 1%. If this had been home, Ranic could live in Beverly Hills on a six-acre property. He’d be driving the latest model of whatever car he preferred and have a Ferrari he occasionally played with in the garage next to a dozen other cars that were just as expensive. He wouldn’t be a billionaire, but there would be few luxuries he couldn’t afford.

The most telling part of his wealth was the view from my room. It showed the manor of the governor of the city. It was across the street and so big it could almost be classified as a palace.

I made my way down two flights of stairs and through a manor several times the size of Jeric’s, only slowing my step when I heard Beldose’s raised voice.

What is he doing here?

“Captain, I have politely asked you out of courtesy; now I demand to know what you are doing here,” the bank owner said heatedly.

“I have told you,” replied a deep baritone, “I am here to collect Landlord Arnold and that is all I can say on the subject.”

“Who is your superior officer? I want to know the name of the man I should complain to about your lack of civility. I am an important member of this city, and I need answers to these simple questions for this city's continued prosperity. Tell me what I want to know now.”

“I know who you are and have answered your question, sir,” replied the unfamiliar deep voice.

I walked around the corner and into the entrance. Four guards stood against the wall trying to make themselves look small while their captain stood in the middle of the room staring down at the bank owner and Ranic. He was six and a half feet tall and heavily muscled.

I cleared my throat as I joined them. “Captain, I apologise for keeping you waiting. What is this about?”

The captain didn’t smile, but he didn’t look upset either. “You are to come with me to the governor’s manor. From there you will be escorted to the regent's palace in Melgrim.”

“Is he under arrest?” the bank owner asked. His moustache was quivering. There was a fearful edge to his tone.

“Am I, captain?”

“You are not. However, the regent demands your presence. She wishes you to explain your exploitation of the laws.”

The bank owner frowned, suddenly seeming less agitated. “Why would she need to see him for something so trivial? Surely she could use a communication station to talk rather than drag the man south to speak with her in person.”

I suppressed a grin, sensing an opportunity. “She wants me to tell her how I helped a mayor gain 22 levels worth of noble experience in less than two days,” I said to the bank owner.

Beldose tried to speak several times before words finally came out. “You’re an exploitationist.” He turned to Ranic. “How good is he?”

“He’s the reason I’m a master scholar,” Ranic said with a smile. “He has an exceptional mind when it comes to twisting the laws to his benefit—though he could use a little refinement to maximise his potential.”

The bank owner began to grin as he turned to us and bowed. “I apologise for my intrusion, Landlord Arnold and Master Scholar Ranic. When the city guard appeared in such force, I jumped to conclusions. It shames me to admit that I thought ill of you and your reputation. I should not have. I understand now why they are here, and as your banker, I strongly suggest you do not tell the regent anything of your exploit, no matter how much she harasses you. Our bank has an exceptionally skilled lawyer in the regent’s city that we do all our business through. His name is Arba and he works for Son and Sons. I will try to have him meet you when you arrive, and I will tell him to send his bill to me personally as my way of apologising.”

I shrugged, uncomfortable with his apology as I had outright lied to him to get access to his money. My charisma was likely the only reason I didn’t flub the whole thing when I began speaking. “You were just protecting your interests. Our business relationship is new and I do not hold your actions against you; in fact, I think they are a credit to the depth of your professionalism. Reacting to threats before they have appeared is a sure sign of someone who will survive surprises that would cripple others. I would, however, be grateful if you could organise the lawyer for me, but I won’t hear of you paying. You owe me nothing.”

“You are too generous and kind, Landlord Arnold. I will contact him immediately.” The bank owner nodded his head, more to himself than anyone else, and power-walked to the door, tugging at his moustache.

I turned to the Captain. “Sorry about that. Now, about your intentions: I have business here in Weldon. I’m in the process of organising several large contracts with different guilds and I cannot be dragged away from it just because the regent wants to talk. Would it be at all possible to postpone this kidnapping for—” I looked at Ranic.

“A day,” he supplied.

The captain shook his head. “No.”

Ranic cleared his throat and adopted what could only be described as a grandfatherly expression. “Captain, these contracts are worth almost 25,000 crowns. That’s 25,000 crowns that could find their way into the city’s coffers. That is 25,000 crowns that might find their way into another city’s coffers depending on how you handle this situation right here and now.”

The captain inhaled sharply.

I fought the urge to smile and won. Of course we weren’t going to change cities just to spite someone, we were in too much of a hurry, but the captain didn’t know that, and we really did only need another day to finish sorting everything out.

Our request wasn’t unreasonable since I wasn’t under arrest. And 24 hours to track someone down was quite fast, in my opinion.

I wasn’t excited to meet this regent, mainly because it sounded like I would get grilled, but I wasn’t really in a position to stop anything, only postpone it. The four guards and the captain were more than enough to make me do anything they wanted, so I didn’t even consider physically resisting.

The captain scratched his chin and then turned to his subordinates. “Sergeant, politely go and inform the governor that I need his assistance. Tell him something has come up that demands his immediate personal attention.”

The man closest to the door nodded and left.

Ranic smiled at the captain, relaxing. “Why don’t you join us for breakfast?” He stepped forward and patted the man’s shoulder. “Would I be correct in assuming that you are related to Scholar Ferlip? You look like him.”

The captain frowned. “You knew my grandfather?”

“He was my apprentice, an absolutely terrible scholar. He wanted to specialise in the warrior classes, so I introduced him to your grandmother. She was guarding one of my trade caravans. Boy, did she put him through a trial when he tried to win her affection. Did he ever tell you how he got the scar above his right eye?”

The captain grinned and let Ranic direct him towards the smaller dining room. “No, he always just glared at my grandmother when anyone brought it up. It was quite a lot of fun.”

I smiled as I followed them through the house. One crisis had been averted. Now I only had to deal with all the others.

“Well, it all started when your grandfather thought it was a good idea to invite your grandmother to a scholar’s party.”

* * *

An hour later, Ranic and I stood at the entrance waving goodbye to the governor and the city guard. Ranic smiled cheerfully, up until the moment he closed the door.

He turned to me, his expression grim. “Arnold, you are in a lot of trouble.”

Ranic had been cheerful through breakfast with the guard's captain and through the entire conversation we’d had with the governor. The sudden change in attitude surprised me.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve caught the attention of the regent. She’s difficult to deal with at the best of times. But your little exploit is something she will sink her claws into and will likely never release. She will use every manipulation she can to gain this information.”

I frowned. “Why would she care? She can’t use it.”

“Don’t be foolish. You and Jeric earned a monstrous amount of experience in just a few short days. She might not be able to use it herself, but she can trade the information to those who can for half of the experience it will generate. What Jeric gained was literally decades of experience for a noble—and she wants it.”

I shrugged, not bothered by that fact, but seeing an opportunity. “I’ll sell it to her then. It will fix our money issues.”

Ranic sighed. “I’m not sure how things work in your world, but in our world, the rich and powerful do not pay for anything they can take. The regent is both of those things, and a bully. She won’t pay for the exploit unless she absolutely has to. You heard Beldose. When he learned that you had something she wanted, the first words he said were do not give it to her. That alone should tell you something about her. I am certain she will do everything in her power to manipulate you into handing it over willingly.”

I paused, finally sensing the seriousness of the situation. “Is she really that bad?”

“She’s worse. Once she has you in her palace, I honestly don’t expect to see you for at least three months. That’s the soonest I’ve ever heard of her giving in. It’ll more likely be six months before you are back in Blackwood.”

“I’ll sell the exploit to someone else then. If I can’t sell it to her, then there is no reason for her to come after me.”

Ranic shook his head. “Don’t be an idiot. If you do that, then there is also nothing protecting you from her wrath. She is one of the seven regents. She governs the entire northern lands. She only answers to the king. If you upset her, she will destroy you as effectively as any giant.”

“So, I’m screwed?”

“Not entirely. She wants what you have. And she wants it desperately since she invited you to her palace. You will be in a gilded cage, but remember, a gilded cage is still a cage. If you can stay above her manipulation attempts, she will eventually cave and purchase the exploit from you. 75,000 crowns and other considerations would be reasonable.”

“Wait. What? When I talked to Jeric after discovering the exploit, he said that it was only worth a few hundred.”

“It was only worth that, but I improved the returns, and you are now dealing with the regent, not a few poor mayors of low-level villages. This exploit is worth a fortune to her.”

I felt like I was in over my head. “Will you come with me?”

Ranic paused. “I could, but that would leave the miners and builders without anyone to oversee them.”

“Jeric can handle that.”

“Jeric won’t be there. If she’s called for you, it means she’s already contacted him and attempted to gain the information that way. He’s an honourable man, and I’m sure he will keep his word not to sell your exploit, but he hasn’t taken an oath, and that means she has a chance at manipulating him. I will have someone try to contact him through his village interface before you leave, but I suspect he will already be gone. He will most likely be in Melgrim when you arrive.”

“She can do that? I thought there were laws against these sorts of actions? I thought nobles weren’t all-powerful?”

“There are, however, she is also the regent. If she deems a conversation with you in person is required for the good of the people in her region, you can be summoned and made to stay. As I said, you will be treated well, but the law is murky when it comes to how long she can keep you before these conversations happen. And only a summons from the king can remove you from her presence before she releases you.”

“That’s not likely to happen.”

“No, it is not.”

I scowled. “This is a real pain in the ass. I’ve still got all that business in Igwood to take care of. Melgrim’s not even in that direction.”

“Forget about Igwood. You should be able to find most of what you need in Melgrim. The rest I’ll procure on my way back to Blackwood.”

“Six months is a long time. The giant could show up before then, making everything we’ve done pointless.”

Ranic nodded grimly. “Let’s hope she tires and gives in sooner.”

25

TRAVELLING

The carriage came to an abrupt halt, jolting me and making me drop my book. We were in the middle of the Northern Melgrim Forest, so there were only a few reasons we would stop. One was a fallen tree. A far more likely reason was monsters.

Radian’s road markers didn’t just advertise distance. They also showed how many guards you needed. Some roads weren’t safe to travel if your caravan contained less than twenty. This one required six.

I picked up the book and put it on the seat. It was on the governing laws of this world. Ranic had given it and others to me to study while I travelled. He was hoping to broaden my understanding of the laws. Travelling offered so much free time that his plan was working. Boredom had me finishing a book a day. No matter how dry the content, any distraction was preferable to spending twelve hours staring at the seat in front of me.

If the governor had been willing to let me take Weldon’s teleportation circle to Melgrim, then travel would have been instantaneous, and I wouldn’t be bored or concerned about our sudden stop, but the next scheduled connection was still a month away, and the governor couldn’t accept the delay.

I leaned over and stuck my head out the carriage window.

Even though the governor couldn’t accept the delay, he wasn’t a bad guy. He had been more than happy to give me the extra day once he realised the level of business Ranic and I were doing in his city. He’d even apologised and loaned me his carriage and driver, upgrading my escort from the bare minimum that might see me arrive at the regent’s palace to something that would definitely get me there.

The eight mounted guards led by sergeant Silber moved their horses in and around the carriage, drawing weapons. Their eyes gazed outwards to the surrounding forest. Something had them on edge.

There were few bandits in this world. People and monsters could go feral and insane if they killed their own kind, literally changing species into a form of monstrosity, which really cut down on the violence people did to each other. I mean, who wanted to kill their neighbour if they might go nuts afterwards? Not many.

The only person in the kingdom immune to this effect was the king. So wars were fought against other species or monsters, but not against your own kind. That fact had taken me a while to get used to.

People were also more racist than I was used to. Dwarves, elves, humans, and orcs might all share the same world, but none of them lived in the same lands. The only ones that travelled freely or regularly were adventurers and even they weren’t that common. Border traders existed, and there were certain exceptions, but for the most part, species kept to themselves, only coming together when they absolutely needed to.

That had annoyed me when I learned it. I mean, I really wanted to meet an elf or get drunk with a dwarf. Not that I could get drunk anymore. But still, the fact that I couldn’t just sit down with one of them and say hello grated on me.

I turned to the front of the carriage. “Something the matter?” I asked the driver quietly.

“We’re being stalked,” the driver replied, just as quietly. He began setting up a crossbow. “This forest is home to several dungeons. With all the adventurers busy, there might have been a breakout.”

“Could you hand me my war pitchfork?” I asked.

I wasn’t afraid, but that had nothing to do with bravery. I’d been drinking steadily to keep my thoughts off the giant and I had some experience hunting monsters. Though at the time, I was the hunter and had Salem to help, who basically told me if something was coming or what direction I had to go to find something, so it wasn’t like I had any actual skill in this department. I was far from being a great warrior. But I wasn’t some poor defenceless fool either.

I could tell something made the animals go silent. There were no birdsongs or movement, only the wind moving through the trees. That meant something was nearby and I knew what I had to do to survive such an encounter.

The driver stood up and reached behind him to where my less valuable baggage was stored on the roof. He undid a couple of ropes and pulled the war pitchfork free, passing it down.

I gave it a curious once-over to make sure nothing was damaged. I’d lost it in a field while running from the giant and hadn’t treated it overly well throughout its short life. Redcliff had found it for me when I managed to get up the courage to go back and check on the property damage and see if he could do anything to keep the ghost around. Sadly, he couldn’t. But thankfully my war pitchfork looked fine.

Once I had my weapon sorted, I stepped out of the carriage. I knew enough from fighting trolls that the last place I wanted to be was inside something I couldn’t escape from. I closed the door behind me.

Small sparks suddenly cracked across the hairs on the end of my arms, causing uncomfortable but not painful shocks. The horses snorted, skin twitching, not liking the uncomfortable sensation.

“Shit, static electricity.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but I wasn’t the only one to swear.

The driver doubled his speed, quickly loading a bolt into his crossbow.

This was my first time seeing the phenomenon, but Salem had explained it in detail. Apparently, this turbulent environment occurred whenever certain monster magics were harnessed.

Back when I was trying to figure out what I could bring to this world as an incarnate I’d had all sorts of terrible ideas. One of those ideas caused me to argue with myself for a month over whether or not I wanted to be the person responsible for bringing gunpowder and firearms to this world. In the end, my dithering had been pointless. They already had it. They also had petroleum and the designs for early 1900’s cars.

The reason they didn’t use those revolutionary ideas were monsters like the one hunting us. Their magic didn’t respect boundaries like a bottle wall or bullet casing. I could see small sparks on the tips of leaves hundreds of feet away. They were everywhere, waiting to ignite anything highly combustible.

The level of protection required to safely use a firearm or petroleum-powered vehicle in this environment didn’t exist. Hell, even high percentage alcohol would go up in this environment, which was why there was very little trading of spirits between cities, and why I’d had several nightmares about using it in my barn.

So no guns, no cars, no combustible spirits trade.

One minute turned into five and then ten. We all waited for whatever was out there to make its move. Then the static field began to dissipate. No one took that as a sign we were safe. We all stayed ready.

Finally, after half an hour, Sergeant Silber gave the call to move on.

Silber brought his horse over as the driver began to put away his crossbow. “It’s either withdrawn to attack when we are less prepared or decided to leave us be.”

“But what is it?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know, sir, could be a giant centipede or a lightning serpent. I can’t remember all the monsters you find in the dungeons here and my ability only tells me if there is something within a few fields’ length that wants to kill me. But whatever it is, it’s not after us now…having said that, sir, I’d keep hold of your weapon. If one monster has broken out, then there will be more. It’s not safe travelling through this forest with the adventurers’ guild stretched so thin.”

“Why are we travelling through it then?”

He turned to the side and spat. “It’s an extra week to go around and we were ordered to get you there as soon as possible.”

“I’ll bring it up with the regent when I see her,” I said grumpily. I didn’t like other people messing around with my safety. Only I was allowed to do that.

26

A NEW PROBLEM

As the carriage rolled up to Melgrim, I gawked, head out the window, excited as a tourist in Tokyo. It was an actual city. Half a million people lived in and around it. I had spent the last several hours travelling past miles of farmland and small village centres, bigger than Blackwood, slowly getting closer and closer to the massive stone walls that ran for miles in each direction. There was a constant flow of traffic leading to and from it. And the farms, near the road, had been well cared for without the gaps of empty land that I was used to seeing.

Every square foot of space was occupied by either a building or crop. None of it was haphazardly put together. We’d passed tens of thousands of fields of wheat and then several thousand fields of corn before passing orchards just as large. It was farming but on a modern industrial scale. There was no medieval peasantry mishmash.

Even the farms outside of Weldon hadn’t impressed me enough to note the differences between it and Blackwood, but Melgrim’s did. This truly was an old city. Every field we’d passed was level 100 and people worked at insane speeds. Most of the farmers jogged everywhere.

Despite the impressiveness of the farmland, it was nothing compared to the city. Melgrim was a city out of a fairytale—or perhaps anime. It was a massive construction that defied the wilderness around it. Towers dotted the walls with trebuchets and ballistae on top.

The people here looked prosperous. Even the farmers’ clothes were new and everyone I’d seen appeared cheerful. It wasn’t like Blackwood was destitute or the villagers were starving, but there was a lack of anything more than the necessities. Here, I didn’t see that.

What I saw instead was a lack of guards. As we rolled up, only six men held a gate that was wide enough to let through four wagons at a time. Everything about their actions was hurried. They asked the minimum of questions and didn’t check to see if the answers they received were true before waving people through.

Passing through the tunnel under the wall was weirdly familiar. The walls were eighty feet thick. The space underneath should have been dark and shadowy, but sconces set with glowing crystals dotted the tunnel walls, providing light. It was like going through a tunnel back home.

When we came out the other side, we entered streets as crowded as Manhattan. Brick and stone buildings climbed five stories high. The lowest levels seemed to be devoted entirely to storefronts, with the levels above kept for living. I could almost mistake Melgrim for a modern city.

Salem had complained about the lack of culture and services in Blackwood. Going to Weldon was like stepping out of the 1100s and into the early 1800s, but Melgrim was like stepping into 1905. I spotted bicycles and horse-drawn trolleys. There were newsstands on the corner and vendors selling street food. Signs advertised branded goods and franchised stores.

There were cafes and restaurants. I even spotted litter. Like actual litter. Not just dirt. Someone had thrown a wadded up piece of paper on the ground. As I watched, a street cleaner picked it up.

The longer I looked, the more I had to wonder what I was doing in Blackwood.

The carriage moved on, oblivious to my growing surprise, travelling in a straight line to the second inner wall. We passed through the second wall, just as big as the first, heading into the upper city. The buildings grew farther apart and became more manor-like the closer we went to the centre. We eventually passed through the third wall and into a garden dozens of times larger than Blackwood's main village.

My first thought was how wasteful this display of wealth was, but I bit down on that thought as quickly as it came. I was in a different world than my own, with different rules. The garden was probably part of the palace and the size couldn’t be changed without interfering with the magic that made everything function. The laws governed everything, even gardens.

The carriage continued down the paved road through the garden to a palace the size of a megamall. A servant at a fork in the road pointed to the right, directing us around the palace's side to a small entrance where a chamberlain and a dozen servants waited to greet us, having somehow been warned in advance.

The carriage rolled to a stop.

Chamberlain Fredrick

He stepped forward.

The chamberlain was dressed in an elaborate red and gold suit like you would expect to see on an 1800’s aristocrat. He was a tall thin-looking man in his later forties. His hair was cut short with a few grey streaks and he had a well-trimmed beard.

Fredrick bowed, head dropping lower than his waist. “My apologies for bringing you around the side, sir, but the main entrance is currently being waxed in preparation for the ball this evening. Regent Katella sends her apologies that she could not meet you in person. She is otherwise engaged with organising this unexpected event.”

“Unexpected event?” I said as I climbed out of the carriage.

Jeric stepped through the door behind the servants, a fake smile plastered on his face. “I’ll explain it to him, Fredrick.” He looked at me, dark-ringed eyes speaking volumes. “It’s good to see you, Arnold. We have a lot to catch up on.”

Damn.

Back in Weldon, for the first time in what felt like years, I’d missed my cellphone. I’d missed the ease with which I used to be able to contact people. Ranic hadn’t been able to get in contact with Jeric through the village interface before I left, but I had been hoping that he wouldn’t be here, because it meant Ranic would be by himself in charge of our project. If I was back home, checking this would’ve been as simple as pulling my phone out of my pocket. Instead, I’d spent days fretting.

“We do,” I replied.

I said goodbye to the guards and driver while servants unloaded my luggage. Fredrick politely hurried me along and then led us through the palace’s elaborately decorated marble hallways to a sitting room.

As soon as we entered, servants began appearing with plates of food, glasses, and an assortment of chilled bottled beverages. Within less than a minute, a small buffet was set up under the window and everyone had walked out, leaving me alone with Jeric.

I looked Jeric up and down, trying to assess how he was holding up. The man was in rough shape. He clearly hadn’t been sleeping well. “I got that business in Weldon taken care of…is it safe to talk about it here?”

Jeric shook his head. “Our conversation is likely being listened to, if not by mundane means then certainly by a wizard scrying.”

“No it's not,” I whispered, throwing my voice in a faraway tone.

Jeric snorted, giving me a strained half-grin. “So there was no trouble?”

“Everything is going to plan,” I said carefully. “Well, everything that’s not me being escorted here for eight straight days and having to go through a monster-infested forest. I’m glad I listened to Ranic and I didn’t drag him here or there would be no one to manage the project…” I realised that nerves had me rambling, so I forced myself to stop and take a breath. In a far calmer tone, I said, “So, what has gotten you so tense? I haven’t seen you this tightly strung since…you know.”

Jeric scowled. “The regent has involved my wife and daughter.”

I paused. Few things could rile Jeric up, but his family was one of them. “How?”

“You know I spoke with the regent through the village interface system after you helped me.”

I nodded.

“Well, she wanted to know what we had done and how. Of course, I refused to tell her. It wasn’t my exploit to share. So she asked what I planned to do with the experience I earned. I made the mistake of telling her it was for my daughter. She’s used her influence to figure out how much experience Isabelle and I have saved up for Emily and realised it’s just below what’s required for her to reach her threshold. She’s decided to throw an ascension ball.”

I leaned back and frowned. “I don’t know what that is, but it doesn’t sound too bad?”

Jeric sighed and leaned back in his chair, deflated. “It’s a grander version of the presenting ball where our children are presented to the other nobles as they absorb their experience and cement their position among them. An ascension ball is much bigger and more lavish and usually reserved for the most powerful families that can afford not to give the bare minimum of experience necessary to keep their class but enough to reach their first threshold. If the ball is done properly and the individual being presented significantly impresses everyone, then they can trigger an advanced method for passing through their threshold.”

“So she’s helping you?” There was a fair amount of implied confusion in my tone.

“No, the party is a manipulation. I think at first she thought I was lying about giving the experience to Emily and was trying to force me to admit I wasn’t telling the truth. But she always had the backup plan of going through with the party if I was willing to give it to her. She’s done the math and knows we don’t have enough experience to get Emily to her threshold, meaning we can’t take advantage of this event, and help her pass through her threshold. The regent is trying to force me into a position where I will have to ask her for the experience to get her there. In return, she will want the method you created.”

I frowned. “Is that so bad?” I mean, it didn’t sound so bad, besides the whole me losing a lot of money part.

I knew how hard it was for nobles to pass through their thresholds. They were on a level that was quite frankly insane. They made farming thresholds seem easy. The monetary value of my exploit was high, but if it got Emily through her first threshold, it would be considered a reasonable price, even cheap.

Jeric growled. “The woman is a tyrant and warmonger. She is all smiles and sweet words while she needs something from you, but she will calmly destroy you when she has what she wants. She intends to replace the king when he dies, long may he reign. If she succeeds, it would be a disaster. We’d be at war with everyone.”

“If that’s true, should you really be saying that in her house?”

Jeric visibly forced himself to calm down and released an exhausted sigh. “It’s fine. She wants what we know, so long as we don’t tell her, we are safe, and I’m also not foolish enough to move against her even if I could influence anything, so I’m no threat to her.”

“So what can we do?”

“I don’t know.”

His tone held too much worry. He seemed too stressed to think straight.

“Can I buy the experience you need? I’ve got a lot of gold.”

“You can’t purchase noble experience. As I’ve said in the past, it can only be traded for favours.”

“Economic favours?”

“Not directly and not in the way your mind thinks.”

“Explain it to me then.”

“An economic favour between nobles would be something like choosing to have your village be supplied by Lord B’s mine even though they were farther from you than Lord A, because Lord B’s town was unable to trade with anyone closer and is now suffering for it. The favour would economically support Lord B’s people, which would affect how much he could eventually spend, but the primary purpose would be to help those under him.”

“Okay, I can follow that. So, any favour you did for experience would have to involve the village and its prosperity, and it might negatively affect your village and positively affect someone else’s, but in the ideal situation, it would positively affect both, but to a higher degree for one party.”

“Yes.”

“So, is there anyone that you can help?”

Jeric laughed. It was a bitter sound. “No, Arnold. Blackwood isn’t in any position to assist others. The only places worse off than us have been razed to the ground.”

After Jeric’s dark declaration, neither of us spoke for several minutes.

Then a question occurred to me. “What happened to the people from those places that were destroyed?”

“If they lived, they left.”

“But where did they go?”

“To other villages and towns.”

“So they were refugees.”

“For the most part.”

“Are they a drain on these villages and towns?”

“Sometimes; it depends on their levels and skills. The older members would be an asset anywhere.”

“So, would you be doing these other nobles a favour if you took these non-asset individuals off their hands?”

Jeric blinked and shook his head. Some of the tension left him. “I need to stop being surprised by the way your mind works. Yes, that would be considered favour-worthy. And a rather big favour if we were to go so far as to take their orphans and destitute.” He smiled at me and adopted a semi-serious expression. “Arnold, it is my understanding that you require workers. Being a compassionate individual, would you be willing to open your doors to those who have lost their homes and are of limited level, helping the poor and needy in their time of struggle?”

Having him go along with my suggestion caused a cold stone to drop into my stomach and I began to feel nervous. He wanted to turn what had been a hypothetical scenario into reality. My mind began racing, and I lowered my gaze, uncomfortable. “I wish I could talk to Ranic,” I muttered.

Even though I’d suggested it to him, something about the situation felt off now that he was asking. It was the risk involved. It wasn’t just to me.

“I’m sorry, Jeric. I know this was my idea, but I just realised I can’t immediately agree to this. I haven’t thought this through at all. I was just saying the idea as it came to me. I was thinking in the abstract, not reality. It’s only occurring to me now that if we do this and Ranic says it can’t work after the fact, we might completely screw ourselves and them. Those people might have their lives upturned for nothing, causing them to suffer further than they already have. I can’t make that choice just for your daughter’s threshold. I don’t want to make someone’s life worse just to make someone else’s better. And I have a lot of debt to think about. I hope you understand.”

Jeric paused, becoming serious. “I do.”

I nodded. “Would the experience gained from the favours actually put Emily at her threshold?”

Jeric shook his head. “I don’t think so; certainly not without taking so many people that it would be a disaster. That means I couldn’t make a straight trade.” He frowned, scratching his chin. “What about a charity auction? No, that wouldn’t work. Even if they were bidding with their experience, the price wouldn’t go high enough. A straight purchase might work. A thousand experience and they can buy a future for a farm orphan who will be guaranteed a place as an orchardist trained under a master scholar. It would come under the rules of charity, and this would be considered a change of fate, so they would gain experience for the rest of the child’s life. It might take a couple of decades, but they would earn back their initial experience investment with interest and then begin to make a profit. There are many that would go for it, but not enough…I sense there is a solution here. I just can’t see it yet.”

This sort of problem was the kind of thing you had to deal with in better strategy games. I’d played enough of those to know there were dozens of methods you could use against other factions or people in this case. Some of them didn’t even cost you. The idea that came to me wasn’t my own. It came straight out of the strategy game Hailstone and what little I remembered from my grandfather’s grumbling about big business.

“Does the regent have any enemies?”

“Plenty, but as I said, I’m not foolish enough to side against her.”

“I wasn’t thinking that. Sometimes in my world, big businesses will buy small businesses that create an invention that will make their product redundant. They buy these smaller businesses to suppress their creations. They consider it a cost of running their business to buy the smaller business and then dissolve it. I think if you tell her enemies about the exploit without details and then tell them what she is trying to do, they will be more than happy to give you the experience just to keep the information from her. And I am fairly certain your actions will be considered a favour as you are allowing them to interfere with their enemy.”

A look of absolute horror crossed Jeric’s face. “What kind of world did you live in?”

“One where the people were the monsters.”

27

A CHARMED EXPERIENCE

Our short conversation spurred Jeric into action. He muttered to himself for a few more minutes and then rushed off to meet with people who might be able to use what I suggested, leaving me alone. A servant boy, maybe 14 years old, silently stepped into the room as Jeric fled and sat down on a stool in the corner. He was most likely there in case I needed something, but I couldn’t help thinking maybe he was there to keep an eye on me. If the regent really was as evil as Jeric and everybody claimed, that would make a lot of sense.

I didn’t know who the servant boy was, but I pitied him. This world didn’t offer you much of a chance if you found yourself trapped at the bottom of society without levels or the money to gain them. Sure, anyone could technically do any job, but the constraints the system put on you made success more challenging. There honestly wasn’t much you could do to pull yourself out of poverty if you didn’t have class levels. Becoming a servant was one of the few options that might keep you fed and comfortable. It was certainly better than going off to war to fight and die.

I mean, technically, a farmer had a chance to gain farmer experience if the battle were fought on a farm outside a city, but it was a small chance, barely worth mentioning, and, from what I heard, the crown took those gains from you, reimbursing you with a level for each year of service. That didn’t seem like enough, in my opinion.

I made my way over to the buffet.

I piled a little bit of everything onto a plate, hunting for what was good and what wasn’t. It wasn’t even lunch yet, but free food was free food, and it was all better quality than I was used to. I’d spent enough of my life eating instant noodles to take advantage of any opportunity that offered me a free meal. I grabbed a glass bottle of beer, similar to what I was used to seeing back home, and took a seat.

I enjoyed myself, taking my time, finding what I liked and didn’t, and then raided the best available, stuffing myself silly. I considered offering some to the boy but figured that might get him in trouble. I doubted they’d throw out the food I didn’t eat. Most likely, the servants would eat it once I was done. One of my old roommates used to come home from his hospitality gigs with leftover containers of food. So, I was reasonably sure it wouldn’t go to waste.

Only when I’d eaten to the point of growing uncomfortable did I decide it was time to leave.

I turned to the boy. “Is there a music room I can use?”

He quickly stood and bowed. “Yes, sir,” he said, voice breaking slightly. “However, I was instructed to show you to your rooms when you were ready.”

“Can you take me there after showing me where my room is?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Lead the way, then.”

The boy led me through the palace, showing me which hallways I should and shouldn’t use while explaining what rooms we were passing. I didn’t take half of it in. Instead, I focused on remembering where I was and how I was getting there.

Like I said, the palace was larger than a megamall, so it took nearly ten minutes to reach where I was staying. I also hadn’t listened to him properly because I had missed the fact that he’d said “rooms,” not “room.”

The area I was staying in was basically a large apartment within the palace. I had five bedrooms, a huge dining area, and a balcony overlooking the southern garden, two sitting rooms, and an entertaining room, along with a private library. Three servants maintained everything at all hours of the day.

It was easily better than anywhere I’d ever stayed—and I’d stayed with Ranic. The bathrooms had hot and cold running water and even a toilet like the magical one Ranic’s home possessed. It let you do number two without having to deal with the smell. You also came away clean, no toilet paper required. It was the only thing I’d ever seen that I could point to and say unequivocally, “that’s better than home.” Even those Japanese toilets weren’t on their level. I was reasonably thrifty when it came to material possessions, but getting myself one of those was an expense I would be happy to pay no matter the cost.

Once I toured the apartment, he showed me to the music room. It was probably more accurate to call it a music hall as it could easily seat a thousand. There was a raised stage at the front with the lower part of the hall empty of seating. Instead, it was filled with hundreds of instruments of every shape and kind. I recognised only half of them.

I put my curiosity aside as I dismissed the boy and entered the room. I walked slowly, listening to the sound my footsteps made as they echoed, testing the acoustics. There was a feel to the music hall like a temple or church—like it was sacred.

It took me about five minutes to search through the vast selection and locate a guitar, but the moment I did I was lost to the world around me, tuning it to my needs.

My fingertips moved across the strings, strumming the guitar, testing the sound. Music ran between my fingers, filling the void with melody. I began to play, losing myself to the music, letting go of the tension that had been building for weeks. Malia had told me where she’d purchased her guitar, but I hadn’t had the time or, until recently, the resources, to follow it up. It was in a city on the other side of the kingdom. I’d checked the instrument stores in Weldon, but they didn’t make acoustic guitars. Apparently, it was a relatively rare instrument here. The closest they got was a lute and that didn’t interest me. A lute was just another instrument while a guitar was a piece of my past.

Back home, music was only a minor hobby of mine. Then I found myself trapped in this world. Now it was a way to connect to home. A way to connect to my family. A way to connect to everything I had lost.

A couple of hours vanished in what felt like minutes. I only knew it was hours because my fingers began to hurt from playing. I had lost my calluses with the new body but didn’t let that stop me.

At some point, an obese but beautiful older woman in a fine green dress entered the room and began doing something I couldn’t make out on the stage. She didn’t ask me to stop playing or speak to me at all, so I didn’t pay her the slightest bit of attention.

Then she began to sing.

Her voice flowed across my skin like a sea siren’s call, drawing in everything it touched. Her singing was hauntingly beautiful, achingly sad, and so pure and simple that it left me breathless within a few seconds. She sang a song of love torn away too soon. Her presence filled the room, denying the existence of anything but her. A true master of her craft, she wove tone and pause with equal skill, hitting whip stroke high notes, leaving my heart raw and bloody just shy of collapse.

You have been charmed.

I was instantly in love, ignoring and dismissing the prompt so I could focus on the woman before me. The guitar lay forgotten at my feet.

Listening to her was like finding a piece of my soul I didn’t know I was missing. It replaced pain with pleasure and sorrow with joy.

Time blurred.

The room vanished.

Emotion overwhelmed me.

The end came too soon.

I launched myself to my feet, tears running down my cheeks, clapping with everything I had. I did not want this angel to doubt how much I worshipped her. Nothing back home could compare with what she had just done.

It was magic.

More powerful than anything I had seen.

Even the toilet.

Silver coins began to appear in small flashes of light, falling to her feet around her, bathing her in wealth. Whatever promotion she possessed to create the wealth would have to be a high level for so much to appear. It still hurt me to see that it wasn’t gold. She deserved gold.

A smile touched her beautiful lips, and she gave me a bow I didn’t deserve. “Sir, you are too kind.” Her powerful voice crossed the distance between us effortlessly.

“And you are too generous,” I said. She laughed. Even that was musical. “Would you take pity on this poor soul and allow me to stay, listen, and know your name, so I never miss an opportunity to hear you perform?”

I didn’t dare analyse her. It was sacrilege to take the name of an angel without her permission.

Her laughter died off, but the smile remained. “I am Master Bard Ilia, and you may stay, though I can spare little time for practicing my craft today. However, if you would continue playing as you were when I arrived while my student practices, that would help me greatly. A distraction would do her good. Help her deal with a crowd that is not attentive to her needs.”

I was enchanted.

She could have asked anything of me right now, and I would have agreed. The urge to hear her sing again was more potent than anything I had ever experienced. “I’d be happy to help.”

Look, I’m not exactly proud of my reaction. You could fairly call it “screaming fangirl meeting Elvis” and I would consider it kind. Actually, I would probably thank you for not being meaner.

However, in this moment, I didn’t care.

She smiled once more, nodded her head and began to sing. The world around me shrunk until it was just me, her voice, and the joy I had been missing all my life.

Time wandered freely, until Ilia stopped singing.

Heaven fell away, thrusting me back into reality. Ilia stood on the stage, looking to her right. I followed the angel's gaze, searching for the snake in my Eden. A guardswoman held open a door near the side of the stage.

Jeric’s daughter entered the music hall.

I blinked, thinking I was seeing things. But she remained. I’d only ever seen the painting in Jeric’s parlour, which was several years out of date, but she looked enough like her mother that I knew it had to be her. It simply couldn’t have been anyone else.

Emily glided forward with her chin up and shoulders straight, entering like she expected all the eyes in the world to be on her. It was the kind of entrance you expected royalty would have. It was regal in every sense and meaning of the word.

However, Emily disappeared from my thoughts as the second girl walked in behind her.

She was at most 11 years old, but she was like those models in magazines, the ones that were already extremely photogenic who were then put in front of an exceptional photographer who managed to luck out and catch just the right angle at the right moment to create an image that ends up part of history—only she was walking and talking without breaking that look.

Put more simply, she looked the way Ilia sang.

Dark blonde hair tumbled past her waist in tight little ringlets. She had a white angelic face with eyes that held the green of an entire meadow in summer. The colour was so vibrant it made the distance between us irrelevant. Feeling uncomfortable, I eventually forced my gaze away to stop myself from staring.

Jeric’s daughter, who had surprised me with her sense of presence, now looked plain. Oh, she was still beautiful in her own right, Jeric and his wife were rather attractive people after all, but it’s hard to find amazement in a campfire when there is a bonfire only a few feet away.

As I watched them make their way to the stage, switching my gaze between them, the sight of the younger girl began to upset me. Her every movement was perfect and proper. Her dress likely cost more than a hundred farmers’ annual taxes. It was like she had been put beside Emily to make her look inferior.

I began to frown as that thought played through my head. That’s exactly what it looked like. And if that was what it looked like, then it was probably what was going on.

The second armed female guard stepped into the room and then they both took up a position by the door. They scanned the room, locked eyes with me and scowled, but didn’t leave their post.

I ignored them and looked back at the younger girl. Within moments I began to feel pity.

Her features couldn’t be natural, just like Ilia’s voice. Salem had warned me that people stopped looking human when their charisma became extremely high. It had to be what I was looking at. No child looked like that. Someone had somehow given her so much charisma that it had turned her into this ethereal haunting beauty.

An ugly feeling twisted my gut.

It seemed wrong to do that to a child.

A conversation I’d had with Jeric months ago came back to me. He’d talked about the harshness of the noble class. The clawing and fighting required to make sure their children retained it. The lengths they had to go to keep their children from becoming adventurers—this was what I was looking at.

It left a foul taste in my mouth.

The two noble girls separated.

To my surprise, Emily climbed onto the stage and went over to Ilia. They talked for a few moments, and then Ilia turned to me and mimed me strumming, reminding me of our agreement.

I happily nodded, picked up the guitar, and began to play some Johnny Cash, singing along. My fingers fumbled across the strings as I snuck glances at Ilia to see if she was happy with me. By the end of the first minute, I decided that in order to fulfil her request, I needed to turn away. Without the distraction, my fingers immediately found their rhythm. Not having Ilia in sight helped me focus on the music. Half a song went by and then Emily began to sing. Even while playing and singing, I could tell she had a lovely voice. But it was a far cry from the enchantment Ilia had laid on me.

One song turned into two and then three. Emily kept stopping and starting, practicing and repeating herself to get things perfect.

A dozen more songs and I was nearing the end of “A Boy Named Sue” when a fit of musical giggles erupted from close behind me. I was grinning myself. I’d always loved this song, but I’d never been able to do it justice. I still wasn’t, but I was no longer committing a crime.

I played the song to its end.

The girl who had entered with Emily walked around me and stopped in front of me. She had a big smile on her face. It was a child’s smile full of delight, happiness, and open curiosity. It cracked the mask she was forced to wear. “Pardon me, sir, did you write that yourself?”

I started playing a purely instrumental piece of music as I shook my head. The half-hour break had given me a chance to work on my self-control, letting me view her as a kid and not some transcendent beauty. “No, sadly, I’m just a poser playing another’s music. That song was written by a man called Johnny Cash.”

She giggled again. “He has two names?”

“Well, he’s from a different world.”

“Is he incarnate?”

“No, I am.”

Her face somehow lit up even more. “You’re incarnate? I’ve only met one incarnate. My father invited her to dinner last year. Did you have four arms in your world too?”

I paused, nearly to the point of stopping playing, thrown by the bizarreness of her statement. “No, just the two,” I said.

Now that I thought about it, there had been a couple of instruments that looked like they needed four arms to play. I’d thought they might just require high agility, but maybe that wasn’t true.

“Tell me everything,” she said, her enthusiasm honest and earnest as she dragged over the nearest chair and sat on it in front of me. “What is your name? I can’t see it for some reason.”

That was because I’d blocked everything by using my privacy mark.

“Arnold.”

“Nice to meet you, Incarnate Arnold. I am Cassandra.”

I’d had this conversation dozens of times over the past year. It was usually easier to answer people’s questions than try to talk around the subject. “What do you want to know, Cassandra?”

“What’s different?”

“Well to start with, we have no magic or monsters.”

Her excited happiness was basically what I had come to expect from that answer, only turned up to eleven. She giggled with delight. “So what do your adventurers do?”

“We don’t have adventurers or classes. We don’t gain experience either. We do everything the slow way.”

Her eyes went wide. “That must take forever.”

“It did for thousands of years, but we eventually worked out how to do things faster. We discovered a different type of magic called electronics. In my world, almost everyone had access to it. I could talk to people on the other side of the world through illusions of light and sound. I could watch plays that were performed decades before I was born by actors who were long dead and listen to music by singers that have come and gone the same way. I used to walk around with a device that fit into my pocket and held every library in our world.”

“Can you try to teach us how to do this magic? Lots of incarnated bring new discoveries to our world.”

They did. And I had wanted to be one of them. In my first six months, I’d tried to make a small electromagnetic generator like the one my father made with me as a kid. The first time, the plant in my room at Gretel’s inn caught on fire. The second time, it was my bed. I hadn’t listened to Salem when he said I was dealing with forces I didn’t understand. I finally quit after the third try when the thing that caught on fire was me.

“I’ve heard that,” I said. “And I did try to do some basic experiments, but the fact that you have magic seems to change the way some things work.”

Cassandra frowned and scratched the end of her perfect nose. “So you can’t teach us anything?”

“I taught you that song.”

“I meant anything that could change our world. Have you heard of bicycles? I’ve got one. I can go so fast. It’s amazing.”

“I have heard of bicycles. We had them too.”

“Hmmm, so you have bicycles and no classes. That could be nice. I wouldn’t have to wear dresses all the time and I could climb trees. Do you have trees?”

“We do.”

“Sometimes I hide from the servants in trees. I tried to hide this morning, but they found me.”

“Why were you hiding?”

She sighed, looking upset in the way only children can. “My mother wanted me to keep Emily company. She’s nice, but she cries a lot, and I feel bad for her. Her father’s the mayor of some tiny village. He found a way to make lots of noble experience, enough to get her to her threshold. When my grandmother found out, she decided to be real nice and throw an ascension ball for her. Emily can present herself very well, and she dances beautifully, but she’s not going to impress anyone with her singing. She hasn’t practiced for an ascension ball. She won’t pass through her threshold without amazing everyone, and she knows that, which is why she cries, I think.”

I turned and listened to Emily’s singing. It was a song similar to the one Ilia sung. She was nice to listen to, but there was none of the enchantment that the older woman offered. She was singing a song that was frankly much too difficult for her. With her control, she needed something more straightforward.

I turned back to Cassandra. Another idea was forming. “So, Emily’s not going to pass through her threshold unless she improves her singing.”

She shrugged. “She has a better chance if she can sing. If it were a presentation ball, all she would have to worry about is her manner, her poise, and dancing to gain experience.” She counted each one off on a finger. “But with an ascension ball, she has to showcase her skills at art, poetry, and singing. She needs to impress enough people with all of those if she wants to have a chance at passing through her threshold. She can’t with her singing. Even after she gains her levels, she still won’t be good enough.”

This girl was an absolute fountain of information—and a lot of it was negative. “Does Emily have to sing well, or does she have to impress people while singing? Because those two aren’t technically the same. For example, can she put on a show to improve her performance?”

She nodded glumly. “My mother and her mother thought she should, but they couldn’t come up with anything good enough with so little time and the best instructors are touring outside of the city.”

“Okay, I’ve got one more question. How impressed were you by the song I was singing when you came over? Were you more impressed because you’ve never heard it before, or simply because of my average singing? I know a few songs that I could teach her that no one at the ball will have ever heard.”

Her eyes lit up. “That might work. You were terrible, but I couldn’t stop listening.”

“You didn’t have to be that honest.”

* * *

“Do you like gambling with others’ lives, Arnold?” Ilia asked me, hours later, as we waited for Emily to appear for the ascension ball.

Ilia’s arm was threaded through my own as we stood in the perfumed crowd, staring past the staircase and upper balcony to the double doors Emily would enter through. There were hundreds of people present, possibly a thousand. Not everyone could fit in this room. Others had spilled out into the surrounding rooms to stop overcrowding while they waited for the belle of the ball to arrive.

It was easy to tell the nobles from the few non-nobles in attendance. The nobles had a control over their movements that didn’t allow them to be anything less than regal. Watching them fawn for attention and try to impress each other was somehow distasteful.

“No. And I don’t consider this a gamble. Neither do you, or you would never have gone along with my suggestion.”

“Perhaps I was charmed by your good looks.”

I snorted. “You introduced me to your husband, remember. Without another 50 points in charisma, I’m not close to handsome enough to tempt you.”

“I’ll tell him you said that.”

“You’re dodging.”

“Fine…your song was beautiful in its simplicity and your idea for the presentation was unique enough to impress me. But that does not mean it will work.”

“No, but she has more of a chance this way.”

“Agreed. Now, I feel it is my duty to warn you that word of your wealth has already begun to circulate. Be wary of young noblewomen. Wealth like yours is more attractive than a handsome face.”

“That’s why I have you by my side. One look at your beauty and they will realise any effort is pointless.”

A small smile pulled at her large cheeks. “You, sir, are much better at flattery than I am.”

“Honestly, between you and me, it’s all the charisma. I was never this good before raising it.”

Her smile turned into a quiet laugh. “You do yourself a disservice. You are only putting words to the thoughts you used to have. This flattery was in you, only waiting and biding its time to come out and shine. Many bards in this city have higher charisma than my own, but none can best my skill. Attributes are nothing but an enhancement of what lies underneath.”

I fell silent thinking about her words.

Her opinion on attributes was vastly different from Salem’s.

A woman walked past that would make a Victoria’s Secret model look like a two and my head began to turn.

Ilia gave my arm a squeeze and whispered in my ear. “You are ogling again.”

It physically pained me to turn away, but I did. A few hours ago, poor Cassandra had been the most attractive person I’d ever seen. Now, she wasn’t even in the top ten. If I had come here first, her looks wouldn’t have thrown me nearly as much as they had.

“Thank you. I think it’s getting easier not to stare.”

She patted my arm understandingly. “The mind was never intended to witness such beauty. It takes time and work to control your reactions or high charisma if you want to cheat.”

“How high?”

“Depends upon how susceptible you are to beauty, but triple digits is usually where most stop being swayed by its effect.”

I frowned. “So, if my charisma gets high enough, I’ll stop being enchanted by your singing? I feel like I have to rethink how I will spend my attributes in the future.”

Ilia laughed. “You will still enjoy beauty, but you will no longer feel the compulsion to serve it.”

“In what way?”

Ilia smirked. “I would like a glass of white wine.”

I hurriedly let go of her arm, found a servant, and collected a glass of white wine from his tray. I was back with the drink as quickly as I could be without causing a scene that might embarrass Ilia.

She took the wine with the same smirk on her cheeks. “If your charisma was high enough, you would have been able to fight the compulsion to get me that drink.”

“But I wanted to get you that drink.”

“Don’t make me ask you for money just to prove a point, Arnold.”

“How much do you need? My bank purse is in my room, but I can be back shortly.” Hopefully, I would have enough to please her.

Ilia took my arm and wove it back into hers. “Arnold, try to remember you are charmed. Think about what you just said. Play it over in your mind. Question whether or not you wanted to say those words. Do it for me.”

It was the “do it for me” that made me really try. I started thinking about what I had said. It wasn’t until about the twentieth repetition that I started to question why I had said what I had said, and it took another twenty more before I realised I didn’t want to give her my money. Not unless I could hear her sing some more. It took another twenty repetitions before even that compulsion lessened.

“I…don’t…want…to give you my money.” It was one of the hardest sentences I’d ever had to say.

Ilia patted my arm. “You need to remember that you are rather susceptible to musical beauty. You don’t seem to be quite so bad with physical.”

“With the number of times you’ve had to tell me to stop ogling, I feel like I should disagree.”

“No, trust me. If you were as susceptible to physical beauty as you are to musical you would have attacked Cassandra when she first walked into the music hall.”

“You were watching me?”

“Yes. The way you looked at her was how most look at me when they hear me sing for the first time. They are enraptured and confused. Many burst into tears.”

“That makes me sort of uncomfortable.”

“It’s a perfectly natural reaction and nothing compared to the worship you displayed when you heard me sing. If I had seen that when you looked at the girl, I would have compelled you to close your eyes for her safety.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you would have tried to rape her or at the very least kidnap her so you could lock her away like a painting, gazing at her until you passed out from exhaustion only to wake up and begin again.”

I gagged, feeling utter revulsion.

“I see your cringing, but if you had tried, you would not have been in command of your mind. That poor girl must travel with high-level guards due to the effect her beauty can unexpectedly have on others. And it isn’t only men she must fear. Many women would have the same reaction, though half would try to kill her out of blind jealousy.”

I shook my head in disgust. “Why would anyone give that much charisma to a child?”

“No one did. Cassandra is blessed. Her beauty is naturally unnatural.”

“Huh?”

“A blessed child is born with one of their natural attributes mimicking the combined total of their parents. Cassandra’s charisma is only ten, but her natural charisma is that of someone with more than three hundred. Thankfully it was not strength or her mother would never have survived the pregnancy.”

“So no one did that to her?”

“No, even nobles would not be that cruel. She is simply unluckily lucky.”

“So, I need to stop thinking poorly of her parents.”

“Yes, in this case, they are blameless…you are ogling again.”

I forced myself to turn away from the incredibly handsome man. I really wish I could say it was easier than with the women, but when someone was that attractive, sex didn’t seem to matter so much.

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome…oh look, canapés.”

We’d been standing near the service door for this exact reason, and like country folk at a fancy occasion, neither of us had any qualms about stripping the passing trays before they could reach anyone else. Ilia continued to help me work on my self-control to overcome her charm while we chatted and snacked. Because I was so charmed by her, she was apparently the perfect teacher to help me harden my will against her to fight off the effect.

Over time, the crowd grew denser as hundreds of guests began to migrate in. Soon, people were standing shoulder to shoulder. The lights in the room dimmed. The crowd hushed. A spotlight fell on the double doors on the level above.

A man in the most elaborate suit and robe I had ever seen stepped forward. It was like someone had artfully vomited a peacock over him. “Let the court stand at attention. Today your number grows by one. Let the burden of nobility be shared as you struggle for the growth and prosperity of the people in your care. Nobles of Radian, I present Noblewoman Emily.”

The double doors opened.

Emily stood in the middle, poised like a queen. She wore a dress fashioned from royal blue satin, cut to fit her form precisely. Her dark hair was done up in elaborate ringlets that I didn’t have the skill or fashion sense to explain, but it was brilliant. The girl had been attractive before, but now she was stunning. However, even though she was stunning, she was far from the most attractive woman in the room. She wasn’t even in the upper half for noblewoman, and here that mattered.

She glided toward the banister, each step perfectly smooth. Every eye followed her movements, gazes focused on the large silver crystal of experience in her right hand.

Then to the crowd’s surprise, Emily began to sing.

The words to "I Dreamed a Dream” flowed across the room untempered and raw, without charismatic enhancement.

I’d dated a girl for a while who had a thing for the movie Les Misérables. We must have watched that movie a dozen times in the three months we were together. Anne Hathaway tore us both apart with this song every time it came on the screen. It wasn’t that she sang it flawlessly—far from it. She sang with emotion, from the place where her character existed at that moment. It was horrible, but within that horror, there was a sad beauty.

My whole plan involved capturing that with Emily.

Emily wasn’t in anywhere near the same situation as Fantine. But her future had been bleak, almost dashed away. Now here was an opportunity for a life she never dared dream of, and she knew she was most likely going to squander it, waste this ascension ball. She had the right emotion to make this work. She just had to dig down into the pain and express that to everyone.

“You’re doing good,” Ilia whispered to herself, eyes locked above. “Keep it slow, soft, share the pain. Don’t rush to make it easier for yourself. Embrace it the way I showed you. Good girl, you’re through the first verse. Now it’s time for power…get it out there…not that strong, but it’s okay, you’ve got them. Keep them enchanted. Yes, build up happiness, but keep the dark edge. It can’t last. They need to know it’s going to leave you.”

Emily began to make her way to the staircase, tears trickled down her cheeks, and her voice shook with emotion. Every pair of eyes watched, unable to turn away from what they were seeing.

“That’s my girl,” Ilia continued to whisper. “You’re through the second verse—now take away the happiness, show the sorrow, the loss of hope, and the dream that can never come true. Make them pity you, fill them with anguish, wrap their hearts in a knot and twist it until they aren’t sure where they are. Then hit them with the outro.”

As Emily sang the last line, her tone lost all hope, all chance at a future, a fate to be pitied. No one in the room had ever heard this song except Ilia, myself, Cassandra, and her two guards. This was new to everyone. They didn’t know how to react to something so sad that had come out of nowhere.

A mantle of despair fell, settling over the crowd’s shoulders as the last word faded, only to burst apart in a torrent of light as Emily absorbed 24, maybe 25 levels worth of experience. I hadn’t seen Jeric to ask if he had managed to get the plan to work, so didn’t know if this performance was just a chance for her to impress everyone or a chance to get through her threshold.

The despair settling over the room immediately reversed with the burst of light. The emotions they had felt weren’t real. Emily wasn’t this wretch with no future. She wasn’t about to lose everything. She might have been at one time like many of them might have been, but here and now, that horrible future was gone, replaced by hope and possibilities that most of them could only dream of. In this moment, they couldn’t feel jealousy. She was the underdog. The poor lost soul, and instead of wretchedness, she had hope, joy, and happiness.

Smiles exploded and the crowd began to applaud. Here and there, in places, even nobles cheered, but the necessity of decorum quickly quashed those cheers. Those who weren’t nobles continued to cheer without reservation, losing themselves to happiness. Going down that low then coming up sharply had thrown them off, leaving them euphoric. The room was left raw by the feelings within them.

I wiped a tear from my cheek, happy for her, and happy for her parents, but mostly moved by the song.

She’d done a good job.

And this song always hit me hard.

Ilia squeezed my arm. “Arnold,” she said excitedly. “I’ve increased my fame.” I could hear the smile and joy in her voice.

I blindly patted her hand, trying to be supportive.

What the hell was fame?

28

THE WOMAN WHO WOULD BE KING

It turned out that fame was a mark. Unsurprisingly, you got it for being famous. That was all I was able to gather before Ilia disappeared into her logs, trying to discover the reason for the sudden increase. She knew it had something to do with the fact that Emily shouldn’t have been able to impress everyone so much with her capabilities, but couldn’t say exactly what had caused the change to her mark. She’d done things like this before with little effect.

Emily’s entrance signalled the official start of the ascension ball. She curtsied to the crowd and turned and led a procession of the rich and powerful into the great hall.

As the room emptied of the most powerful guests—basically anyone who had enough standing to dine with the regent—a series of glowing red hazard overlays began to fill the entrance. The remaining guests stepped back or left the room, moving outside the hazard zones. The moment a highlighted area emptied, there was a flash of light and a white marble table with chairs appeared. More flashes occurred as each zone emptied. Through the nearby window, I could see the same occurrence happening outside.

A highlighted green path appeared on the ground before me, leading toward the back of the room near the entrance, where a table materialized. Ilia looked up for half a second and then started walking, following the same path.

The crowd continued to disperse, most heading outside through the main entrance. A few had already made their way to the table and taken a seat.

With so many people moving, it was impossible to hold a conversation. Ilia pointed and then led me straight to the seat highlighted by a green overlay and waited. The chair next to my green one began to sparkle. I looked at it, confused for several seconds, before realising that I was being prompted to pull out her chair. I grabbed the back. The sparkle disappeared as I pulled it out. Ilia stepped around and I pushed it into where the prompt indicated as she sat down.

Okay, whatever this was, it was handy. A couple of weddings I had been to came to mind. That awkward process of trying to find your seat would easily be solved with this.

I pulled out my chair and sat.

It was immediately obvious to me that no one at our table was a noble. I didn’t even have to analyse them. They didn’t have the reserved dignified nature of the nobles I’d seen.

General information began appearing above everyone. Names, classes, titles, all the usual information, except now, I could see where people were from and whether or not they were higher or lower in social standing than I was. Everyone was higher. I could also see if they were seated where they were supposed to be. They were.

I felt kind of out of place.

Everyone at the table had high attributes. They all looked like they belonged on the covers of fitness or fashion magazines, some looked like they belonged on both. Luckily, they were all within the more reasonable range for these higher attributes, because there were none present who Ilia had to stop me from ogling.

The chair across from me was pulled out by a man who was half a foot taller than me. He had strong shoulders and a large powerful chest. His light brown hair was cut short in what I would call a military fashion and he was clean-shaven. He wore a black suit that was more uniform than anything.

Captain Wolfkin, Level 74, Sharpshooter

He sat and held out his hand. “Captain Wolfkin, a pleasure to meet you.”

Taking his hand was like gripping steel. There wasn’t an ounce of give. “Arnold—nice to meet you, too.”

Wolfkin smiled and greeted everyone else before returning to me. “Sir, you do realise it’s rude to hide your information at a formal occasion without a proper reason?”

“He’s incarnate,” Ilia whispered without looking over.

I frowned at Ilia.

Wolfkin nodded his head. “Ah, yes, that sort of thing does tend to draw an annoying amount of attention. I apologise for my intrusion into your privacy and will refrain from asking the sort of questions you are trying to avoid.”

I glanced at Wolfkin. “Thank you.” Then I turned to Ilia. “How did you know I was incarnate? My information is supposed to be hidden.”

Ilia smiled. “The songs.”

“Which songs?”

“The songs you were playing in the music hall. They were all considered to be original compositions, so either you are the most skilled unknown minstrel I have ever met or you are incarnate. Even if your name was not hidden from me, I still would have guessed incarnate. The likelihood of the other option is almost zero.”

That made sense.

Again, I was overwhelmed by Ilia’s talent. She was intelligent, musically gifted, beautiful, and utterly amazing in every way.

Ilia turned away and went back to staring at the table, looking through her logs.

Seeing she didn’t want to be disturbed, I turned back to Wolfkin since none of our other seating neighbours had arrived. “This is going to sound ignorant, but what exactly is a sharpshooter?”

Wolfkin chuckled. “It’s a specialisation in the crossbowmen class. It focuses on accuracy over rate of fire. The archer equivalent is a marksman.” Wolfkin then went into more specifics, explaining his class in detail.

“So you’re in the military. What’s that like?”

“It’s a lot of training followed by short periods of terror. At the moment, we are training. Our scouts have been tracking the three new orc hordes that have been consolidating in their southern continent. Two of them are expected to clash within the month, and their leaders will compete for dominance. The third will be engulfed by the others shortly after, until only a single horde remains. They’ll grind their way through the desert on their way north, clearing the monsters and dungeons, and be at our border within a year.”

“You don’t sound too worried…”

Wolfkin shrugged. “You don’t know much about orcs, do you?”

“Next to nothing.”

“Ah, then the idea of facing a horde of several million would seem like a terrifying situation.”

“Did you say million?”

He nodded. “Yes, a typical horde on any given year consists of around five million with an average level of less than 15. They aren’t as intelligent as your average human until they are around level 50, at which point they have the mental faculties to control their natural aggression. The starving horde will grind itself into dust against one of the southern border cities fighting and dying until less than 10% are left. The survivors will return through the desert, killing monsters, until they reach level 50, at which point they will break off from the horde and head for the cities. Those that don’t make it that high will return to their breeding swamps and lead the next generation north the following year.”

Huh?

“I thought we were worried about there being another war with the orcs? You make it sound like there is nothing to be concerned about.”

Wolfkin chuckled and then quickly threw his hand over his mouth to stifle it. “I’m sorry for laughing, but usually I would only have to explain this to children. The annual horde is made up of simple orcs, not orc warriors. Their weapons are mostly sharpened bone or heavy wooden clubs. Those that reach level 50 leave those hordes and join orc society. Once there, they will level until they reach level 100 and become orc warriors. Unlike their stupid brethren, these orcs are actually dangerous. Their society is militaristic, well-armed, and highly disciplined. Going to war with them can lose us entire cities.”

This was pretty interesting. “Why do we go to war with them then?”

“It’s not by choice. Their prodigious breeding rate causes their cities to occasionally grow at speeds that are unsustainable. When minor food shortages occur, they begin raiding border villages for cattle. When major shortages occur, they turn to all-out war hoping to kill off enough of their population or gain enough cattle or long pig to see them through.”

“Long pig—you mean people, right?”

“Yes. They consider us a food source when they are desperate which is one reason it is so hard to deal with their society in a civilised manner.”

“Couldn’t we sell them food?”

“We do. And sometimes it works, but it is usually only a delaying tactic.”

“I have so many questions.”

“I’m happy to answer.”

We changed topics a dozen times, switching from military actions, to trade, to orc society. The captain was required to understand his enemy and had an extremely firm grasp of their behaviours and society. When I had run out of questions on orcs, I asked him about some of the tasks I hadn’t managed to get done in Weldon, seeing if he knew of anywhere in Melgrim that I could go to get those problems sorted. Wolfkin went into a shorter lecture about where to go and whom to ask and why.

He was more than accommodating.

Almost an hour passed in conversation. We ate between words, enjoying each utterly delectable course as it arrived. There was this fish chowder that redefined my understanding of “melt in your mouth,” teaching me there was a level beyond. It was so delicate it began melting the moment my spoon touched it.

I would have kept talking to Wolfkin all night, but Ilia suddenly said, “Ah, so that’s what happened.”

The comment surprised us and we turned to stare.

Ilia’s incredibly handsome, much younger husband Jeremby, who’d appeared while I was talking to Wolfkin, and was now sitting on her other side, replied, “What’s happened, dear?”

“Oh, my fame increased after the performance and I’ve just worked out why,” she said, smiling at him.

Wolfkin grinned. “You were responsible for that moving performance by the noble girl?” The nearby guests all turned to listen.

Ilia shook her head. “I was her teacher, but it would be more accurate to say that I assisted in the performance. I cannot claim to be the one responsible, that would be—”

“—Emily, right?” I said, rudely butting in.

Ilia looked at me for half a second but then nodded. “Yes, Emily. She’s quite a girl. Can’t sing more than adequately, but she used what talent she has brilliantly.”

I didn’t want any extra attention from this. It would only lead to me repeatedly answering the same questions I had with Cassandra this afternoon. I didn’t mind it once or twice, but if word got around, I would spend the rest of the night having to repeat myself due to being 500% more interesting because I was incarnate.

After spending my morning riding in a carriage, I wasn’t in the mood to put up with the hassle.

Wolfkin turned to me. “You didn’t have anything to do with it? I ask only because I’ve been wondering how you managed to be seated at our table.”

Ilia chuckled musically. “Arnold, the poor dear, happened to be in the music hall while I was practicing. He’s currently charmed and under my care until he develops some level of resistance.”

Wolfkin blinked. “How badly is he affected?”

“Completely,” Ilia said. Everyone who was listening suddenly looked at me with varying degrees of sympathy—some, like Wolfkin, were outright concerned. “I’ve caused this effect numerous times. With my assistance, he will gain some level of resistance within a few hours. By tomorrow morning, he will only be partially charmed. His mental resistance should grow to the point where he can deny me within a week. Until then, he will have to enjoy my company.”

I grinned. “That is as easy as breathing.”

* * *

The meal finished after the twentieth course and the plates of food were cleared away. The tables vanished as easily as they had appeared and the guests began migrating to different rooms. There was dancing, singing, poetry, and boys fighting with unsharpened blades. Everywhere nobles seemed to be competing in some form.

Ilia and I were wandering through a small library, waiting for our turn to pay our respects to the regent, when I heard the familiar sound of Malia singing.

I turned to the corner of the room.

Malia was seated in a chair, wearing an elegant dress entirely different from her usual ostentatious attire, gently playing her guitar. She sang softly, not trying to draw attention but create a comfortable atmosphere for others.

Ilia followed my gaze. “You know her?”

Know was too strong a word for our relationship. It was more accurate to say that she used me. She’d barely been interested in me once I’d finished going through my socialite rite. It had taken me a day to track her down and ask her out to dinner. Dinner consisted of barely any conversation on her part, finally ending with her outright stating she wasn’t interested in me as anything more than a bedwarmer.

That kind of hurt.

Not enough to turn her down when she asked if I wanted to go back to my place, but I mean, it still sort of hurt.

“She brought music back into my life. I played the guitar in my world and didn’t realise your world had them until she stayed at an inn I was visiting.”

“If that was all there was, you wouldn’t be looking at her like she had been your lover.”

I chuckled. “You are as intuitive as you are beautiful.”

“No, dear, you are just obvious. Would you like to say hello or run away? She hasn’t seen you yet.”

I changed direction twice before I finally started walking towards Malia.

Ilia chuckled.

We were about halfway there before Malia spotted me. She gave me a small smile that was barely above polite, and then her gaze fell on Ilia. She missed a note. Her smile widened, lighting up her face. It was like a garden of wildflowers in spring.

If Ilia had been a guy and we were competing over Malia, that smile would have told me Ilia had won and it was over. The fact that she wasn’t still told me it was over. There was never going to be anything between us. That didn’t bother me on an intellectual level, because I’d accepted that already, but my ego still took a hit.

I thought about it more and realised the smile made a lot of sense. Ilia was amazing. She deserved that smile and every other. It was only right that Malia had that reaction.

Ilia and I came to a stop beside Malia and waited for her to finish the song and transition into one that was purely instrumental. The smile never left her face.

I cleared my throat. “Bard Malia, may I introduce Master Bard Ilia. Master Bard Ilia, may I introduce Bard Malia.”

Malia actually blushed. “I am honoured to meet the royal songbird. The bard who made the king weep. I hope to one day perform a feat a tenth so worthy.” She was gushing, talking a little too fast.

Ilia was unimpressed. “You will need to master the basics of our class if that is your intent,” Ilia said calmly. “Relying on promotions, abilities, and an exotic instrument will take you no further than what you have achieved here.”

Malia nodded. “Thank you for the advice.”

“You are welcome. However, your thanks should be directed to Arnold. I would not have offered these words freely if he did not know you.”

Malia nodded again and finally turned to me, still playing gentle music. “Thank you for the introduction, Arnold.”

I shrugged. “You’re welcome. You’re like, one of the five people I actually know at this ball, so it would be kind of rude not to say hello.”

Malia gave a husky chuckle. “How did you get invited then?”

“You know, the usual way. I discovered an exploit for noble experience and the regent invited me here to learn what it was.” I was trying to be charming.

Malia stopped playing.

Ilia looked at me with open horror.

Malia lost all friendliness in the time it took her to take a breath. “Please, Arnold, if you have any care for my wellbeing, walk away and forget you know me.”

This was not the reaction I expected.

Ilia tightened her grip on my arm and began leading me away before I could reply. She dropped her voice to whisper when we were halfway across the room. “Is that truly the reason you are here?”

“Yeah,” I said, still confused by Malia and Ilia’s sudden change.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You didn’t ask.”

She sighed. “I guess I didn’t. So then, I guess you would know Emily’s parents.”

“I know her father, Jeric, but I’ve never been formally introduced to Emily or Jeric’s wife, Isabelle.”

“So when I asked you why you were offering your assistance, and you said you were just trying to be helpful, what you really meant was you were just trying to be helpful to her father.”

“No, I was trying to be helpful. If I had the same knowledge and didn’t know Jeric, I still would have given the same suggestion.”

Ilia groaned.

“I’ve caused you some sort of trouble, haven’t I? Would you like all my money by way of apology?”

“Yes, you have, and no, your money is your own.”

This clearly had something to do with the regent, I suddenly realised. I was lucky I had something that could help. “Would you like me to tell the regent my exploit? From what I’m told, she really wants it and it’s worth a fortune. I’m sure it will fix any trouble I might have caused you?”

“Be quiet for a moment. I need to think.” Ilia led me from the library down the hallway to a closed door. She opened it and pulled me into another empty hallway before closing the door behind us. “I need you to focus for a moment. You said you’ve created an exploit for noble experience and that’s the reason you are here. I need to know if you actually want to give the regent this exploit, not for me, but for your own reasons. Tell me in detail.”

I spent several seconds trying to frame my reply. “To be honest, I didn’t even want to be here until I heard you sing. I had important business to attend to in Weldon before the regent invited me. Not that the invitation was optional. And I really don’t want to just give her the exploit, but I’m willing to sell it to her if she will pay. But everyone keeps telling me she won’t pay until she’s tried to strong-arm me into giving it to her for free. And I really don’t want to give it to her for free. It’s worth a lot of money. Do you want the money when I sell it?”

Ilia groaned again. “No, I don’t want the money, Arnold. Try to remember that you don’t want to give it to me either. It’s just the effects of being charmed. You need to fight against those impulses to please me.”

“I am.”

“Well, fight harder.”

I thought about that for several seconds and then pinched my arm because I had felt the impulse to offer her money again. The pain gave me enough of a push to stop myself from voicing the offer. “I think I can do that.”

“Good boy,” Ilia said.

“I just had an idea,” I said excitedly.

Ilia sighed. “What is it?”

I grinned at her. “Will the trouble I’ve caused go away if I’m dead? I could hang myself or jump off the palace roof.”

Ilia grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed me into the wall, showing that her strength was a whole lot higher than my own. Her eyes sang into my soul as she forced me to look at her. “Do not kill yourself, Arnold. I told you to fight the instructions I give you, but this is not one of those instructions. I am telling you unequivocally do not kill yourself. It will not make me happy and it will not help my singing. You must stay alive.”

“Okay, I can do that.” I started checking for pointy objects that I might slip and fall on. I couldn’t be too careful. Ilia’s singing was at stake.

Ilia kept staring at me, shaking her head.

* * *

They cleared the great hall. No tables. No chairs. No guests. The only ones left were the regent and her family. Everyone else had migrated to the other rooms where Emily and the other nobles were showcasing their talents.

A servant broke from his position by the door, approaching us as we walked up to the entrance of the great hall, following the highlighted indicator on the ground.

He bowed, turned to me specifically, and cleared his throat. “I am sorry, sir, but you must display your name and either your class or a class title for the herald to announce you.”

Ilia released my arm as her husband approached, smoothly changing partners.

I opened up my interface and displayed my landlord title with my name. “Is that sufficient?”

The servant blinked. “Yes, sir. I apologise for the inconvenience.”

“It’s fine.”

“Do you know the protocol?”

“No.”

“Simply follow three paces behind the master bard and her husband. Stop when they do. Bow to the regent when they do. And when the regent says your name and ‘Welcome to my home,’ say ‘Thank you for the invitation, I am honoured to be here.’ If the regent asks you any other follow-up questions, then you may reply; otherwise say nothing. Follow the master bard and her husband when they leave.”

“I can do that.”

The servant nodded and returned to his position beside the door.

Ilia’s handsome husband Jeremby turned and smiled at me over his shoulder. “How is the mental resistance coming along, Arnold?” He’d told me, when we first met, that his wife had to babysit someone like me every other month and he was quite used to it by now. His cheerful demeanour reinforced that.

“I’m still no further along than when we started,” I said, honestly. My disappointment over being incapable of doing what Ilia asked me to was obvious.

He shrugged. “The first step is always the hardest, once… oh, I think we’re up.”

Jeremby turned to face the hall and changed his position to make it less awkward for Ilia. Then they walked to the door and stopped.

I followed behind.

The master of ceremonies who had announced Emily slammed his staff against the ground and loudly proclaimed, “Master Bard Ilia, and her husband, Adventurer Jeremby, with Landlord Arnold.”

Ilia and her husband began to walk forward with me three steps behind.

Entering the great hall was like stepping into a hunter’s trophy room or a museum, only instead of deer, the heads on the walls belonged to monsters, none of which were smaller than an elephant. The heads came in all colours and textures, changing from scales, to fur, to hardened stone-like substances. There was nothing as mundane as a troll or ogre present, only exotic large insect creatures and other bizarre monstrosities. It was an impressive collection. And at the very crown of it, above the regent, was a dragon’s head, its jaw open wide enough for me to walk into.

I was so distracted by the collection I was halfway across the room before I lowered my gaze to the regent’s throne.

The back of the beautiful silver throne housed hundreds of gold peacock-styled feathers encrusted with jewels. They fanned out six feet on either side, enhancing the simplicity of the delicate silverwork that was the throne's seat. The throne’s thin legs seemed far too fragile to support a person's weight, let alone the woman who sat upon it.

Regent Katella looked every inch the Amazonian warrior I’d heard she was. She had large shoulders and firm, impressive biceps and calf muscles. Despite the obvious strength, her face had unwrinkled, soft, attractive curves. She was stunning. Not what you would expect to see when you thought you were meeting someone in her mid-eighties.

She had eyes the colour of dark polished wood and her dirty blonde hair was in a tight elaborate plait that hung over her right shoulder. Her dress was an open hanging piece of blood-red silk, which clung to her body, emphasising her physical power, with a cut down one side that started just below her hip.

She was the most scantily clad woman I had seen at the entire ball, and yet her state of dress, I was sure, had nothing to do with attraction. Every gap in the fabric was skillfully placed, allowing the most range of movement. If violence broke out, she would be ready. Somehow, I knew that on an utterly instinctual level.

She was a warrior; everything else came second.

I followed, taking everything in, coming to a stop when Ilia and her husband did. When they bowed and curtsied, I bowed. When they rose, I rose.

The regent smiled at Ilia. It never reached her eyes. “Master Bard Ilia, it is good to see you again.” Her voice was somehow powerful enough to crack a walnut without losing any of its femininity.

“I am honoured, Regent.”

“No, it is we who are honoured. You have outdone yourself with Noblewoman Emily. I gave you less than a week, and you created a performance that has changed the way scholars will view the test of song for the rest of history.”

“Actually, Grandma, it was incarnate Arnold’s idea,” Cassandra said, pointing at me.

My gaze tried to move from the regent to Cassandra, but it had to pass over her mother to get there.

Her mother was utterly breathtaking and more beautiful than any woman on earth could ever be. She calmly reached out and caught her daughter’s finger, and lowered her arm. “We do not point.” Her voice felt like satin. She had the same ringlets as Cassandra, but her eyes contained all the blue in a still lake instead of the green in a summer meadow. There were no bulging muscles, just curves that drew the eye in an endless pattern.

“Arnold, you are ogling again,” Ilia whispered.

I pulled my eyes from Cassandra’s mother back to the regent. She was looking at me, her beautiful face entirely neutral. “What do you mean by ‘it was his idea,’ Cassandra?”

“I mean, it was his idea. The whole performance, though he can’t actually sing. He’s terrible—”

Why does she have to keep saying that? It was more honesty than the conversation needed.

“—He was in the music hall when we arrived and was playing funny songs on a guitar while Emily practiced. One of them made me laugh and I went and asked where he learnt it and discovered he was an incarnate. We talked about his world and then started talking about Emily and her ascension ball. I told him she wasn’t going to succeed because of her poor singing, and he went to Ilia and taught her the song Emily sang, suggesting how she should present herself. Master Bard Ilia understood what he was attempting to do and improved it so that it was brilliant, but the initial idea was his.”

The regent frowned at Ilia. “Is this true?”

“Yes, Regent,” Ilia said. “Landlord Arnold saved Emily’s performance.”

“Is that why he is here with you?”

“No, Regent, he was in the music hall playing a guitar when I arrived. I thought nothing of it and made the mistake of practicing my craft to its full extent. He was charmed. It was an accident. One that I am currently correcting.”

Cassandra’s eyes widened. “He didn’t seem charmed. Shouldn’t he be trying to kidnap or rape you?”

My eyes widened. Was it really that common that even Cassandra knew? It made sense that she knew, but the fact that she spoke of it so casually disturbed me.

The regent turned to her granddaughter. “Musical charms are different from those of physical beauty. They cause obsession, but it is an obsession with sound. He will follow any order Master Bard Ilia gives and any order he imagines she gives. If he thought it would please her to kill himself, he would do so.”

“No, he wouldn’t,” Cassandra said. There was a level of childlike disbelief in her tone.

“He’s already offered,” Ilia said.

Cassandra looked at me, worried. “You didn’t?”

I shrugged guiltily. “I caused some trouble and thought it would help her. I now know it won’t which is why I’m staying away from sharp objects.”

Cassandra caught her mother’s hand and held it, clearly worried for me. She didn’t need to worry. There were no sharp objects nearby.

“Back to the matter at hand,” the regent said, looking at Ilia. “Landlord Arnold has information I want. You will let him share it with me.”

Ilia shook her head. “If this information is the exploit for the noble experience, then I cannot. The subject has already come up and I have learned his personal feeling on the matter. He is willing to sell that information to you if you wish, but he does not want to freely give it to you.”

“You are coming very close to interfering, Ilia,” the regent said.

“I cannot help it. He is charmed and I am oath bound to protect any I cause to be in this state. If you are willing to purchase the information for the price he has told me then I can facilitate the exchange while he is charmed. If not, then I am bound to do everything in my power to protect him while he is defenseless. Once again, I cannot help it.”

The regent scowled. “Is that your final answer?”

“It is.”

The regent’s scowl grew. “Adventurer Jeremby, there has been a dungeon breakout along the northern road. As the highest level adventurer currently in Melgrim, I would like you to form a party and clear the forests tomorrow.”

Jeremby stiffened. “Regent, those dungeons are for level 40 adventurers and above. I am more than happy to accept the quest, but there are only a few low level 30 adventurers in the city. None of them are at my level. I would be taking them to slaughter.”

“And if we ignore the forest, travellers will die. Landlord Arnold can attest to that. I’ve been informed the men guarding his caravan were stalked no less than three times. And there is a trade wagon missing that should have arrived before they did.”

Jeremby looked at me.

I felt terrible but answered truthfully. “We stopped on three occasions. I couldn’t sense it, like the guard, but the forest went silent each time. And on two occasions, the environment turned electric.”

Jeremby nodded and turned back to the regent. “If that is the case, why has the military not reacted? The forest falls within its jurisdiction.”

The regent glared at him. “It is not the military’s job to clean up after Melgrim’s adventurers.”

“The law would state otherwise,” Jeremby replied. “During an unexpected breakout, the military is required to assist.”

“What about this breakout is unexpected? Your people decided to reduce the clearance frequency of those dungeons by ten days, so they could go off chasing profit in the Alovin Woods. Those timetables are there for a reason. It is your people’s fault that you are the only adventurer of the necessary level still in the city. It is your people’s fault that the only other adventurers are ten levels behind.”

Jeremby scowled. “With our current timetable, the chance of a standard outbreak is less than 1%. This is likely something different.”

The regent snorted. “There is no evidence of that. And as there is no evidence, the military is not obligated to assist. Your people gambled and lost. So either take responsibility for your actions and correct the situation or request military aid and deal with renegotiating the price of using Melgrim’s dungeon.”

Jeremby blanched. “I will take my people into the forest tomorrow then.”

Ilia was red-faced, barely controlling her anger and grief, tears streaming down her cheeks, but she didn’t say a word or even glare at the regent. Jeremby patted her hand while my heart ached for her, hoping that her grief wouldn’t affect her singing.

The regent turned to Ilia, smirking. “Is there something you would like to say?”

Ilia wiped her cheeks and curtsied. “I am honoured you have put so much faith in my husband. It will be good for him to have something to do while I assist Landlord Arnold in building his mental resistance to being charmed.”

“I’m glad you approve. Welcome to my home.”

“Thank you for the invitation. I am honoured to be here.”

The regent smirk became a frown as she turned over her right hand. A golf ball-sized silver crystal formed on her palm.

Cassandra squealed with giggly happiness. “Emily did it! She passed through her threshold.”

The regent’s frown grew. “So it would seem.” Her eyes turned to me. “She will have to thank you for your assistance. She would not have been able to do this without you, Landlord Arnold. Welcome to my home.”

I tried not to let my anger and pain enter my voice. Letting out my true feelings right now would only hurt Ilia’s singing more. “Thank you for the invitation. I am honoured to be here.”

“I hope you enjoy your stay.”

Ilia and Jeremby turned and walked towards the open door along the left wall. We entered a wide marble hallway and I fell in step beside Jeremby, mind racing. “How much gold do you need for your people to survive the forest?”

Ilia began to sob. Notes of anguish erupted from her, causing me physical pain.

Jeremby sighed. “A bit of gold isn’t enough to make up for ten levels.”

“I realise that. Your men would need 100 attributes each, to make up for their levels, so how much would the blessings cost? I’ve been told two crowns an attribute, but I’ve never purchased them myself.”

Jeremby shook his head, dazed. “That’s for common blessings. They would have to receive uncommon blessings as well if they wanted that many which can go as high as six crowns an attribute.”

“So, 3,000 crowns to cover the other five members of your six man party,” I said happily. “I can manage that. My bank purse is in my room.”

Ilia bit off a sob. “Arnold, you don’t want to give Jeremby your money.”

“I don’t?” I said, confused.

“No, you are being charmed.”

“Oh.”

That didn't sound right.

“Try to remember what that money was for.”

“It’s not really for anything,” I said honestly. “Maybe I’ll use it for paying off my taxes and interest on my loan a year from now, but I’ll probably have made enough money for that by then. I’ve got another 2,000 crowns to pay for the one in six months. So this money is essentially being put away for an emergency—and I consider this to be an emergency.”

Ilia froze, holding back a sob, and then turned to me, releasing her husband’s arm to grab me by the shoulder. “Arnold, I need you to think about this and tell me why you are making this offer in detail, only stating the parts of the reason that are related to me.”

I paused. “The regent punished you for protecting me by sending your husband and those adventurers on a suicide mission. She can send assistance, but she’s interpreting the situation how she chooses so she can hurt you for going against her. If those people die, it will be, in part, because of me. I don’t want to live with that on my conscience. I’d rather give Jeremby and the adventurers the money than have to live with that.”

“Would you do the same for someone else if they weren’t my husband?”

“Yes.”

Ilia nodded, wiping away her tears with her free hand. “Well then, I accept the loan.”

I frowned. “What loan? I was offering to give you the money.”

“And I cannot accept such a gift, but I will accept a loan.”

“Why can’t you just take the money?”

“Because I have my pride and this was not your fault. It was the regent’s. I will not have you pay out of pocket for something that is not your fault. I can’t accept such a gift.”

I scowled, beginning to get annoyed. “Why are you making this so difficult? Just take the money. I don’t want to loan it to you!”

“Why are you being so difficult?” she asked, leaning forward with a sudden smile.

“Because I just received a minor mental resistance mark apparently,” I said, reading the prompt that had appeared.

Well done, you have successfully managed to fight off some of the effects of a charm by momentarily becoming annoyed with your charmer, meeting the minimum requirements for Ilia bestowing the minor mental resistance mark upon you.

Congratulations, you have received the minor mental resistance mark.

A little charm is wonderful, it brightens up your day, but too much charm is a curse, which has your mind lose its way. You’ve had to learn this the hard way.

Minor Mental Resistance Mark

Level: 1

Effect: 10% resistance against minor charm effects.

29

THE BEST PLANS REQUIRE MONEY AND PREPARATION

Jeremby waved as I walked through the adventurers’ guild entrance and then made a shooing motion to the regent’s guards, who tried to follow me in. “You have no authority here,” he said cheerfully. “Kindly remain outside. You have my word that I will make sure your charge is returned to you when he leaves.”

The guards scowled, but then nodded, and returned to the carriage.

The foyer of the adventurers’ guild wasn’t nearly as exciting as I would have expected. There was no one dressed in armour and not one weapon in sight. Instead, there were several sturdy-looking doors and a help desk manned by an elderly gentleman. Several tables with chairs furnished the space with a large enough gap between them to avoid crowding. It reminded me of a small cafe.

Jeremby stepped forward and held out his hand. “It’s good to see you again, Arnold. My wife tells me you made a full but slow recovery.”

I nodded. “Yeah, ten days of following her around like a lovesick teenager is not something I want to repeat.”

Jeremby chuckled. “How high did your mark have to go? My wife wouldn’t say.”

“I had to evolve it past both the minor and lesser stages and get the mental resistance version up to seven,” I said unhappily.

Jeremby shrugged. “Not the highest it’s had to go to break my wife’s charm, but not far off.”

“So she said. Personally, I would like to forget the whole experience.”

Jeremby frowned, reading my tone. “If you’re afraid of it happening again, you could always pay a wizard to train you.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I mean, you should be immune to bards and the like from now on, but if you want to be completely immune, you will have to train your mark with wizards. They can cast charm spells that have the same effect but are more powerful. You’ll have to go through a similar situation as you did with my wife to grow your mental resistance, but once it’s done, even magic won’t be able to touch you. It’s standard training for high-level adventurers, wizards, clerics, and officers in the military.”

“I might look into it once I’ve had a little more time to adjust.” I shuddered. “I don’t like thinking about what I was like.”

That was the biggest understatement of my life, if not an outright lie. It wasn’t that I didn’t like thinking about it. It was that thinking about it revolted me on a level I couldn’t express in words. Everything I was vanished before the charm. The man who walked around under its effects was an illusion wrapped in an Arnold meat suit. It had my memories to draw from, but it wasn’t me. It was an addict.

I’d never tried hard drugs, so I had nothing to compare the devotion I’d felt for Ilia with, but even then I was sure that only the worst addicts back home came close to experiencing what I felt. She could have asked me to do anything, and no matter how heinous, I would have complied. Slaughter a kindergartener? Sure. Scam cancer patients? No problem. Leave a positive review of the new Star Wars movies saying they were better than the originals? I would have smiled while typing. It was sickening.

Jeremby nodded, understanding. “I get that. Now, I have some people who want to thank you for what you did.”

“I’m just here to buy items.”

Jeremby chuckled. “I know, but that doesn’t change what’s going to happen.”

Jeremby threw his arm over my shoulder and started leading me through the building. There was literally nothing I could do to stop the powerful adventurer. He’d told me he had almost 200 points in strength—which meant he could bench press a car.

We went through several brightly lit hallways that reminded me a lot of my high school, before entering a small conference room with a large oak table and chairs. A blackboard sat against one wall and there were shelves full of books against another.

Four adults, who looked like they could each fight a tank, sat around the table playing cards. The two women sat on the right side with the men on the left. They all looked up as we entered. I tried to check their names, but none were visible.

“Is this him?” the nearest one asked. He was a barrel-chested man with absolutely massive hands. He had long wild blonde hair like it had been years since he had seen a barber.

“No, Ames, I brought a stranger in here to mess with you. Sit your ass down and let me make introductions,” Jeremby said, grinning. “Now, Arnold, that useless sod who asked that stupid question is Ames; his ugly friend behind him is Obre. This is the angry lady Devra and her less angry and quite charming companion Silbi. Everyone, this is Arnold, your new benefactor.”

Ames grinned and waved. “Nice to finally meet you, Arnold. We heard you weren’t interested in meeting us, but we pushed Jeremby to set this up because we wanted to make sure you were okay with the loan you gave us. We understand you were charmed at the time, and we normally wouldn’t have accepted the offer, but when it’s a choice between almost certain death and taking advantage of someone who can stop that from happening, morals become more flexible. Though, now that we’ve lived through the experience, it doesn’t sit right with any of us not knowing how you feel.”

I shrugged. “I’m not exactly happy about spending the money, but I’d do the same again. And you can stop saying loan. It was a gift.”

Though we were talking about a literal fortune, what I said was entirely accurate. In my mind, the money I gave them was a gift. It wasn’t out of any lingering sense of guilt, and it wasn’t because I’m a generous soul. I fully intended to add the cost of this disaster to the price the regent would have to pay me for my exploit. There was no way in hell I was going to let her get away with this for free.

Silbi snorted and rolled her eyes. “Would you be comfortable accepting such a gift?”

I paused for a second. “No.”

“Then why should we be any different?”

“That’s fair, I guess…I’m still sorry you had to risk your lives on my account.”

They all laughed—like really laughed. It was almost a minute before they stopped.

“How much do you know about adventurers?” Ames asked, fighting off another round of laughter.

“Not much, to be honest.”

He smiled and slapped his chest. “Well, let me give you a short education in understanding how it works. If you’re not a noble who loses their class, it basically sucks. We’re all common folk. My parents were butchers like Devra’s. Silbi’s were hunters. Obre’s family were low-level merchants. We all started with nothing but the most basic adventuring equipment our families could afford. And we’re all that’s left of the class we trained with because, unlike those dead idiots, we invested every piece of gold we’ve ever earned into getting stronger. We all had attributes that are about five levels higher than our actual level and then you went and loaned us the money for another ten. We weren’t risking anything.”

“Well, I’m glad to have helped.”

Ames’s smile turned into a grin. “So are we. We’ve now got a proper chance to make some real money. You’ll have your money back in a decade, maybe less, except for Bolton’s share—that asshole’s gone and skipped town.”

I shrugged. “I’m not bothered.”

“Well, we are. We all agreed to pay you back and we will. If you ever need adventurers to slay something that needs killing, we’ll be there. Having said that, Jeremby told us about your giant problem and there is no way in hell we are getting involved with that. We owe you, but we don’t have a death wish.”

“It’s really that big of a deal?”

Everyone nodded, losing their smiles.

Ames got up and went to the shelf and removed a book. “This has everything the adventurers’ guild knows about killing giants in it.” He opened the book to the first page and turned it to face me.

In big bold letters, the page read: It is suicide to fight anything in this book with a level below 75 and a party of less than 40.

“Can I borrow that?”

Ames shook his head. “I can’t lend you guild property, but you can purchase a copy from the quartermaster.”

“Speaking of quartermasters,” Jeremby said, “Arnold has an appointment with ours. You’ve all met him. You know he’s fine with the loan. Now leave the man alone.”

The four adventurers stood up, and one by one came forward to shake hands and say thank you. Each of them slipped me a small iron coin. I had no clue what they were for, and it felt like it was rude to just ask, so I held off until Jeremby and I had left the room and closed the door.

“What’s with the coins?”

Jeremby scratched the side of his jaw. “They’re death tokens; adventurers give them out to non-combatants who have done something they consider has saved their life. It can be a loan of money like what you did or something simple like a blacksmith agreeing to repair their gear and hold off on receiving payment until they have cleared a dungeon. Craftsmen and merchants display them to show adventurers what they have done for us in the past. There are rules around it, and the more you have, the more fairly adventurers will deal with you. If you get your hands on 100, you’ll only ever have to pay 25% above base for any item an adventurer is willing to sell. There are weapons and armour shops in the major cities that hold unspoken rights to selling to adventurers because of those tokens.”

“They sound useful.”

“They can be.”

We walked a little farther, and then Jeremby stopped outside a door and knocked.

“Come in,” came a squeaky, feminine voice.

Jeremby opened the door for me.

I stepped into a world of pink that smelled like lavender. The walls were pink. The furniture was pink. The carpet was pink. The desk was pink. Everything was pink. The woman behind the pink desk was dressed in a pink robe with silver sigil embroidery. Her staff leaned against the wall, which, due to its transparent crystal nature, also looked pink. An open book sat on the table in front of her and she had a pad and a pink pen beside it.

She smiled, softening a face full of freckles and a nose that was a little small. “You must be Landlord Arnold. Welcome to Melgrim’s Adventurers’ Guild. I’m Quartermaster Talia. I prefer to be upfront about things…due to your actions, Jeremby has convinced me to extend to you a friendly trade status with our guild and offer you a onetime deal for purchasing from us at base, treating you as an adventurer. Now please have a seat. How can we help you?”

Jeremby closed the door behind me, leaving me alone with the quartermaster.

If I hadn’t already been thrown by all the pink, I would have been by the offer. “That’s extremely generous,” I said, taking a seat in the pink chair. “Thank you.” I pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Talia. “I need everything on that list along with your most powerful ability to increase movement speed.”

She took the list and skimmed through it. Her lips pressed together. “We can do the enchantments for the items with little trouble, but I’m sorry to say that you aren’t going to be able to purchase any blessings independently at this stage. The recent purchase by Jeremby’s party has depleted most of our stock.”

That was frustrating because I needed those attributes to pay for the abilities I wanted to buy. Compared to other classes, adventurers received new abilities all the time, maybe a dozen over their career. Most of those new abilities were of the common variety and class-locked, but occasionally they would obtain an ability that wasn’t common or locked. Most of those abilities were also duds and weren’t worth much, but very rarely, someone would achieve a new ability and surprise everyone. Those sorts of abilities could be game-changers and some of them weren’t class locked.

Meaning, those abilities could be passed on to anyone through ability crystals the same way a farmer’s ability would be to a farmer. The recipient's only requirement was that they had to have the spare stamina or mana to receive the ability. There were ways around some class-locked restrictions, in cases like my socialite ability, but most of the time that was impossible.

“I won’t be able to purchase those abilities without the attributes,” I said. “Are you sure you can’t sell them to me?”

Talia waved away my concern. “I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. You are still able to purchase the attributes that are required for these abilities, but nothing above what is required to maintain your current stamina and mana capabilities.”

That was less annoying.

“However, having read your list and knowing your situation, I am going to have to turn down your request to purchase items that increase your movement speed. The Melgrim Adventurers’ Guild cannot help you run away from the regent.”

“They're not for running away from the regent,” I said.

Talia smirked. “What are they for then? And I give you fair warning: my office is warded against deception.”

“A giant tore apart my barn and smashed my house. I want to be able to outrun the beast if it returns.”

Talia’s jaw dropped. “You want these to run away from a giant?”

“Yes.”

“You must realise that’s impossible. Even with these items, you won’t be fast enough to outrun a giant over open ground.”

“There is a saying where I come from. If you meet a bear in the woods, you don’t have to outrun it. You just have to outrun the guy next to you.” Ranic’s lessons for lying to the bank were paying off. I barely had to think to come up with something that sounded like the truth.

Talia frowned, shook her head, and then nodded. “As far as methods go for getting away from a giant that is quite intelligent in a horrific and dishonourable sort of way. It doesn’t, however, explain why you also want a cloak of monster taunting.”

“That’s for if I somehow get the courage to act honourably. I figure if I’m that fast, maybe I’ll be able to buy some people another minute of life and lead the giant away.”

She frowned. “That was a lie.”

Her response surprised me and I frowned as well. I hadn’t thought that was a lie. I knew I was afraid of the giant, but I thought I’d gained enough perspective and self-control to bait it when needed. Clearly, I hadn’t. I was still drinking an awful lot to combat the fear. If my socialite ability didn’t stop me from getting intoxicated, most of the time, I’d be too drunk to walk straight.

“Look I’m not planning to put it on some poor guy’s shoulders and use him as bait to save my own skin. I just want to keep my options open.”

“That was the truth. I’m not sure what you plan to do with it, but I feel comfortable enough to sell it to you.”

“And the movement speed items?”

She nodded. “Yes, since you’re not planning to use them to escape the regent, I will sell you those too. However, movement speed abilities are a different matter.”

“Why?”

“Because there are only six available to all classes and the first five of them are expensive and ineffective. The last one is called hunter’s gambit. It’s expensive and effective, but it is also considered a build breaker.”

“What’s a build breaker?”

“Build breakers are abilities that are so powerful they have to handicap you to compensate. The one of movement speed is exceptionally brutal.”

“In what way?”

She sighed, folding her arm as she leaned back. “It permanently reduces your stamina by half. You will receive only five points of stamina from each attribute of endurance.”

“Damn. What do I get in return?”

“Your base movement speed increases by 100%.”

I blinked. “Wait, wouldn’t that make my agility and the items I ordered twice as effective?”

She frowned. “Technically, it would. And I suppose as a farmer, you aren’t as reliant on stamina for abilities, so it wouldn’t be nearly as brutal for you as it would be for a warrior. However, with those items and this ability, you would have to be wary of falling over.”

“What do you mean?”

Her right eyebrow rose. “Running at those speeds isn’t safe without the strength necessary to toughen your body. Falling will cause death or at the very least break bones and shave off much of your skin.”

I heard chirping sounds. How had it not occurred to me that running as fast as a vehicle on the freeway would be dangerous? Falling over would be like coming off a motorcycle. This was a big oversight.

“Is there anything you can sell me to help?”

Talia paused and then chuckled. “We could make you a set of farmer’s overalls and a farmer’s hat. They give numerous benefits, one of which is resistance to damage while on a farm. I’d have to talk to the enchanter since I don’t think anyone’s ever tested it for high-speed running, but I imagine it would work. Though you would likely destroy them if you fell.”

“How much would that all cost?”

She smiled. “That depends on if you want the movement speed ability, and I strongly recommend you consider your options before you do. Once you take the ability, there is no turning back. You will be permanently handicapped.”

I needed the speed too much and the fact that it would double the items’ effects meant I couldn’t turn it down. “How much for everything?”

She paused and sighed. “You realise having hunter’s gambit will double the cost of purchasing stamina blessings. You will also have to double your current endurance if you want to remain where you are.”

I grinned. “Wait, you will let me double my endurance? I thought you couldn’t sell me attributes outside of abilities?”

She smiled. “I’m stretching the rules. Since purchasing that ability would halve your current stamina, I’m allowing you to purchase those blessings. How high is your endurance?”

“Twenty-two,” I said excitedly before frowning. “Will hunter’s gambit halve my endurance’s other effects?”

“No. That would cripple rather than handicap and we wouldn’t sell it to you if it did. Considering you are buying everything at base, all up that will cost you 1084 crowns, 17 nobles, and 18 copper.”

My eyes widened. “That’s at base?”

“You are lucky you only want non-permanent enchantments. Otherwise you would be looking at another 1,000 crowns.”

I just nodded. It was a good thing the adventurers hadn’t needed as many uncommon blessings as Jeremby had feared. They’d returned almost half the gold I gave them. If they hadn’t, I would have had to think twice. But I needed these abilities and items to survive luring the giant, so I said yes.

Talia smiled. “It will take our scholar at least a day to prepare the abilities and you will have to pay for them upfront before they begin their work.”

I nodded as I reached for the purse on my belt and opened it.

Would you like to access your funds?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes.

Would you like to access your personal or loan funds?

Personal Funds: 3487 crowns, 16 nobles, 28 copper.

Loan Funds: 27,382 crowns, 87 nobles, 43 copper.

Personal/Loan?

After receiving my bank purse, I’d asked around, but bags of holding weren’t a thing here. They could teleport across the kingdom, but dimensional space warping wasn’t within their capabilities. The only reason the purse could hold all my money was that it technically didn’t. The coins weren’t coins. They were condensed magic, and the purse was just a conduit for that condensed magic, transporting it back and forth from the bank, shaping it into coins as needed.

I selected my Loan Funds and tried to withdraw all the gold.

Only 55 crowns of the purchase you are trying to make is covered by your agreement with the Bank of Weldon. The rest of the amount can be withdrawn from your personal account if you agree?

Yes/No?

I scowled as I selected Yes. The weight of ten gold bars and 84 gold coins along with the silver and copper filled my purse as I reached in to retrieve the money.

I was hoping that I could put the entire purchase on the loan. Ranic had suggested I do so every chance I got as loaned money couldn’t be used for taxes or interest. But apparently, only part of my purchase was viable under our agreement.

I pulled out the bars and put them on the table in front of Talia. “Here you go.”

Talia smiled as she reached out and touched the bars. There was a small flash of light and another five bars and 42 crowns appeared along with the corresponding silver and copper.

My jaw dropped.

I knew there was a level 50 promotion that let certain merchant specialisations generate more gold on the sale of an item, but I’d only seen it happen twice, and both times the merchants only received 5% more. For her to gain 50% more meant she’d had to have bought enough promotion crystals to have leveled the promotion to its maximum level of ten. And merchant promotion crystals were some of the most expensive to buy. They were on the same level as noble promotion crystals.

Talia chuckled, seeing my shock. “Adventuring guilds are the source of promotion crystals. It only makes sense that we would use them for our own benefit. Now, I can have everything but the items ready for you tomorrow morning if you like. The rest will take at least ten days.”

“I can’t make the morning. Is the afternoon okay? The deal my lawyer made with the regent only allows me outside the palace after lunch and I have to be back before dark.”

She frowned. “Blessings take time to perform. Jeremby’s group took almost a day and that was with the clerics rushing the process. As you will only be receiving common blessings, you will only be gaining one attribute at a time. Without it being rushed, it will take at least three days once you factor in going back and forth from the palace.”

“If it’s not an inconvenience, then I’ve got the days to spare.”

She shrugged. “I’m sure we can work something out.

* * *

The next three days passed quickly, and my capabilities leapt skyward.

+11 Intelligence

+48 Endurance

* * *

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability at the expense of 10 stamina.

Sure Grip

Cost: None

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Passive

Effect: Objects you hold will not slip from your grip by natural means.

* * *

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability at the expense of 10 stamina.

Ambidextrous

Cost: None

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Passive

Effect: You are equally as dexterous with your off-hand as you are with your main-hand.

* * *

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability at the expense of 10 stamina.

Double Jump

Cost: None

Cooldown: 1 minute

Trigger: Activation

Effect: Your jump is 100% higher.

* * *

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability at the expense of 100 stamina and 100 mana.

Darkvision

Cost: None

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Passive

Effect: You can see in almost total darkness as well as you would during a cloudy day. This applies to magical darkness.

* * *

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability at the expense of 10 mana.

Lowheart’s Lungs

Cost: None

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Activation

Effect: Your voice and volume travel four times as far.

* * *

Congratulations, you have gained a new ability at the expense of five stamina per point of endurance.

Hunter’s Gambit

Cost: None

Cooldown: None

Trigger: Passive

Effect: Your base movement speed increases by 100%.

That last one hurt more than I thought it would.

30

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

It had been fifteen days since the ascension ball. I still hadn’t had a chance to talk with Jeric. Our only communication had been a series of brief notes, where he made it clear that Emily passing through her threshold had created as many problems as it solved. His family was going from party to party as the nobles who formerly hadn’t been interested in them were now vying for the chance to marry their son to Jeric’s daughter. They’d been unexpectedly plunged into a new level of their world, a level which they had only ever seen the fringe of.

I was happy for them.

Now that I was no longer charmed and Beldose’s lawyer Arba had made the regent give me time outside the palace, I could get to work dealing with the giant problem. If that’s all I had to worry about, life wouldn’t be quite so stressful, but the regent was ominously quiet.

Her plan to manipulate Jeric had failed spectacularly and she was now pretending like he didn’t exist. I had no idea what her next move would be, but after seeing how she reacted with Ilia and her husband, it clearly wasn’t going to be good.

Trying to make plans wasn’t helping either. I didn’t have many options that didn’t involve making her an enemy. And making an enemy of the person who was basically in charge of your whole region didn’t seem like a good idea, even if she wasn’t as omnipotent as the nobles of the past back home.

The carriage rolled to a stop outside a workshop in the middle of the lower city's smith district. I climbed out to the smell of smoke and steel and the sight of billboards. They weren’t on the main streets, but here on the side streets, they were everywhere, advertising all sorts of branded goods we didn’t get in Blackwood.

The sounds of hammering coming from the workshop suddenly stopped, replaced by a string of cursing the likes of which I had only heard from English soccer fans. The woman spouting off had an extensive vocabulary and an active imagination.

I walked into the empty storefront, listening to her rant out back. Basic bear traps in dozens of sizes lined the walls. Items labelled tripwire sat on a section of shelf next to a device that was a trigger mechanism for shooting a crossbow at a distance.

The owner of this shop was a trapsmith named Quilly. It was an extremely rare class due to difficult personalities and low breeding rates. There were only three trapsmiths in a city of half a million, and I’d learned from Wolfkin she was the only one with advanced academy training. I’d asked the adventurers’ guild to double-check and they had confirmed it.

I walked up to the counter and rang the bell, looking around. The stuff I could see in the shop was pretty basic, nothing I couldn’t do myself, except for maybe the bear traps. However, several triggering devices looked more effective than the ones I designed. There was also an interesting device used to cover and disguise a pit trap.

“Useless fucking gear, that’s the last time I ever purchase anything from that hammer-fisted idiot,” she said as she stormed through the door, rubbing her grease-stained hands on her apron. “What do you want?”

The woman glared up at me from where she stood at only about four and a half feet. Half of her screamed petite and the other half screamed mad wolverine. She had grease in her blonde hair and on her nose. Her eyes were just a little too pinched like she spent most of her time squinting at small objects.

Trapsmith Quilly

I pulled out the book with my designs inside and handed it to her. “Are you the owner of this establishment?”

“Yes.”

“Can you make these?”

She leaned to the side, looking past me. “That’s a lot of muscle you have there. You planning to try and intimidate me?”

I knew she was looking outside at the escorts I’d been given. “I’m currently standing on a trapdoor, so I’m not really in any position to intimidate you even if they were here for that.”

She grinned. “Noticed that, did you? I can’t see your name. Are you a fellow trapsmith by any chance?” The smile turned into a scowl. “Because if you are, you can piss off.”

“No, no, just a fan of the art. Now, about those schematics.”

She glanced down at the book and the designs I’d drawn and began muttering to herself about amateurs. She eventually looked up. “These are shit. Who designed them?”

“I did.”

“Who taught you?”

“No one.”

She snorted, looked me up and down and then nodded. “In that case, not bad. I can make them if you want me to, but any village smith could.”

“I don’t want you to make them. I want you to improve them, but keep them just as simple to construct.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh, now that’s a challenge. I like a fucking challenge. But if you want design work and blueprints to go along with it, that’s going to cost you. Is this for personal use or sale?”

“What’s the difference?”

“If I make the blueprints for you and give you personal use, that means you can have any smith make them for you at whatever rate they charge, but you can’t sell the end product. The second option you can. I don’t like to haggle, so the first option is ten times my base hourly rate plus 10%, and the second is a hundred times.”

“Wow.”

She snorted. “Bah. If that’s too bloody rich for you, I can make the designs and build them myself which will just be my standard rate plus 10%. The other option is to pay me my standard rate while I’m working on the designs and then decide to purchase the blueprints after. That way, if you don’t like my work, you can decide not to purchase it.”

I looked around her store. The traps were pretty basic. There were only a few things that really caught my attention. I could design most of what she had on display given enough time.

She saw me looking and chuckled. “This isn’t the good shit. This is just the stuff I sell to hunters and adventurers. The good shit is in the back and I don’t show it to just anyone. And if you are dickering over the price, you definitely can’t afford my good shit.”

Maybe I should have worn my fancy clothes.

“It’s fine. How long will it take you to come up with something?”

“That depends on how much effort you want me to put in. I can keep working until I think I’ve got it right, or I can work to your budget, and do a slapdash job that won’t be my best but will be better than what you have here.”

I pulled five crowns out of my purse and put them on the counter. “How much research will that get me?”

“That will get you a couple of weeks more than I will need for everything in this book, but it won’t get you through the backdoor.”

“That’s fine for now.”

She took the coins off the counter, pulled out a book, and began writing down the amount with the job request. “I’ll need your name and a residence where I can contact you once the first blueprint is ready.”

“The name’s Arnold and you can find me at the regent’s palace for the foreseeable future.” Her pen slipped. “If that changes, I’ll contact you.”

* * *

The carriage stopped outside a music shop on a busy upper-tier street. This was the third instrument shop I had stopped at. The first one hadn’t sold guitars and had sent me to the second. The second had said the first was wrong and had sent me here.

As I walked inside, all sorts of instruments were on display. None of them was an acoustic guitar. None of them was even a lute.

I sighed as the shop assistant approached me. He had that too-friendly smile thing going on that I was used to seeing in most retail stores.

“How may I help you, sir?”

“I was told you sell acoustic guitars.”

“Ah, we do, and we don’t, sir. We have a craftsman who sometimes takes on projects for clients he likes. Raymond’s a bit eccentric, but he’s the only person in the city who makes acoustic guitars.”

“Look, I’m not a bard. I just like playing the guitar. I’m not interested in spending a fortune on an instrument. I just want something that is simple and sounds good.”

“You will have to discuss that with him, sir. Would you like me to schedule an appointment? If I send a runner, I can have him here within the hour.”

“Sure.”

I left the store and headed to the local restaurant, with my guards trailing behind. I ordered a second lunch with a couple of really good beers and then made my way back without looking around. Today I had errands to run, but tomorrow I would come back and finally do the whole tourist thing. Melgrim was more like home than anywhere else I had been and I was excited to go exploring.

I walked back into the store and spotted a middle-aged man on a stool in the far corner of the shop, surrounded by five guitar cases. “You him?” he asked, voice warm and friendly.

“I’m him.”

“Good, come over here and sit down. This won’t take long.” He pointed to the empty stool next to him and then ran his hand through his long brown hair, pulling his fringe away from his face.

I did as he said.

He untied the string holding the nearest case closed and pulled out a simple guitar. It looked like it wasn’t finished. There was no varnish or paint, just bare wood. “Play your favourite song on this.”

I took the guitar, gave it a strum, made a face, and began tuning it the way I had been taught. He didn’t complain. It took me a few minutes, but I got it to sound right. I turned to him. “Does it have to be my favourite?”

“It works better if it is.”

“What works better?”

“The process.”

I shrugged, a little confused at how vague he was being, but the shop assistant said the guy was eccentric, so I put my confusion aside and began to play Alyssa Lies, silently mouthing the lyric, because I didn’t want to cry in the middle of the store. It didn’t work that well. I still had to fight the urge to tear up.

This song had been my favourite ever since I’d first heard it on the radio. The simple words told a story that was anything but simple. And I didn’t play it often, because it rarely fit my mood, but that didn’t stop it from being my favourite.

Raymond nodded his head along to the tune, tapping his foot, but didn’t talk until I got to the end. “It was different from what I’m used to, but I liked it. All right, give it back.”

I handed him the guitar. He put it away and pulled out another. “Just strum this once and give it back.”

I strummed it and handed it back.

He gave me the next guitar and got me to strum it and then do the same with the next. The last guitar he picked up and held. It was an absolutely gorgeous instrument with purple strings and a paint job by a truly gifted artist.

Raymond handed me a pair of gloves and told me to put them on. “This lovely lady is as deadly as she is beautiful. Her strings are crafted from mithril and will cut through your bones if you are foolish enough to press an unprotected finger against them. Though you need to wear armour just to play her, I promise you it is worth it. Do not let any part of your body that you want to keep touch the strings. You have been warned. Now, I need you to play the most complex piece of music you are capable of.”

He passed me the guitar only after I put the gloves on.

I moved to tune her. As my hand approached the pegs, they began to turn on their own.

“Hmmm, she must like you. She almost never tunes for anyone but me.”

“It’s magical?”

“Few things with mithril aren’t. Now play.”

It took me a few seconds to get my head around a magical guitar, but then I began to play, pouring every ounce of skill I had into her. I put in a hundred percent and got out a thousand. Music unlike anything I had ever managed to achieve before poured out of me.

Light enveloped me as I played.

Well done, you have successfully played an original composition with Raymond’s guitar and gained a new rank of proficiency with guitars. You can now boast that you can use a guitar as well as any Journeyman.

I dismissed the prompt to focus on the music. When it was over, I almost didn’t want to hand her back. But with what felt like too much regret for something so trivial, I did.

Raymond grinned. “Congratulations on the rank up. Now you will be happy to know I can make you your guitar. It should only take me a week and cost you no more than a 185 nobles.”

The price seemed insanely high for a week’s work. “What was the point of this?”

He paused. “I have an ability called soul song. When it works, it lets me build an instrument that fits a person perfectly and I earn coin every time they do when they use my creation. What I didn’t know before getting the stupid ability is that I can’t build instruments that aren’t soul song instruments now that I have it. Having said that, I would never have been able to make my mistress without the ability and I wouldn’t give her up for anything.”

“Why the secrecy?”

He shrugged. “Well, hearing people play music with my instruments lets me get a glimpse of the player’s soul. It gives me access to a lot of information, and many people don’t like that, Arnold. The only reason I’m telling you that is I know you won’t freak out.”

“I didn’t tell you my name.”

“No, you did not.”

“What else can you tell?”

“Well, let’s start with the big one. You’re an incarnate like me.”

* * *

My cheer matched the volume of the arena’s crowd as the gladiator somersaulted over her opponent and dropped a chain net right on top of him. I couldn’t stop myself from shouting, while grinning ear to ear. “Raymond, this is probably the coolest thing I have ever seen.”

Raymond didn’t return the grin as he took a swig of his ale. He was quieter today than usual—not that I was paying much attention. He’d brought me to this gladiator match and I was so excited it didn’t leave room for much else.

The two gladiators continued to tear each other apart, stabbing blades into exposed flesh. Normally, I wouldn’t be interested in watching two people cut each other to shreds, but the arena was a magical building that looked a lot like the Roman Colosseum, and the wounds the fighters suffered here didn’t last more than a few minutes. It was actually impossible for them to kill each other. So, there was all the gore and none of the guilt.

Jeric still didn’t have time for me despite another week passing. So I’d been using my free time to track down anything that could help us deal with the giant. Occasionally, I’d hang out with Raymond. He’d taken me to a couple of good restaurants and the incarnate bookstore. Every book on the shelves was written by an incarnate. There were hundreds of histories from other worlds, with a few even more advanced than back home. After spending all that time together, we were far from friends. We didn’t actually have that much in common besides both loving guitars and being incarnate.

He came from a world close to home, with technology similar to ours in the early 1900s, but it also had magic to a limited degree. People could do small things like light candles and float quarters. He’d been brought here when he was 19 year old. He remembered being hit by a car—a rather new addition to his city—and then waking up on the altar like I had. Unlike me, he didn’t have his soul ripped out of his body while alive. He’d died before coming here.

In this world, his parents were carpenters who only vaguely resembled his original parents. They’d hoped to get their son back and hadn’t been thrilled that he was incarnate. They’d disowned him.

He would have eventually been just another poor incarnate on the street. However, his uncle, a man that didn’t exist in his world, had taken him in, given him experience, and helped him to learn how to survive, blending his old world’s guitar-making skills, which was apparently a five-generation family tradition, with his new world.

That was his story.

I think the only reason we continued to hang out was it was nice being with another outsider. Someone who didn’t think all this was normal. He’d been here 27 years and he still wasn’t used to it.

It was reassuring to know that I wasn’t the only one.

My eyes turned back to the arena.

The gladiator trapped in the net didn’t try to remove it. Instead, he leapt backwards, throwing himself thirty feet across the arena away from his opponent’s trident, trying to get enough room to untangle himself without having to worry about his opponent.

It didn’t work.

Watching the high-level gladiators fight was like watching Captain America fight the Black Panther. The feats of strength they were capable of were just astounding. And terrifying. The speed at which they moved and acrobatics they were capable of…if this was what it took to take on high-level monsters head-to-head, I certainly didn’t want to try.

It was nuts.

The trident wielder pressed her advantage, using the opportunity to flourish for the crowd, gaining more cheers. Having showboated enough, she lunged, stabbing the trident into her opponent’s stomach, only to then lift him off the ground and throw him fifty feet.

I roared my approval.

Gladiator fighting wasn’t about winning. It was about putting on a show. It kind of reminded me of WWE wrestling, only the violence was real. Gladiators had a promotion that turned the crowd’s approval into money, similar to how bards did. The better the crowd’s reaction, the more they would make. In about a third of the matches, the loser earned more.

Raymond clapped me on the shoulder as the defeated gladiator lay twitching, waiting for his wounds to heal. “You know, I was hoping to show you being a farmer might not be so bad. But I think I’ve had the opposite effect.”

I grinned. “I wouldn’t say that. Getting cut to pieces day after day can’t be fun. And I probably wouldn’t choose it over being a farmer. But it does make for a heck of a show.”

Raymond snorted. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I'd better get back to your guitar. The glue will have dried by now. I’ll have it delivered to the palace in the morning.”

“Thanks, and thanks for the invitation.”

“You’re welcome.” Raymond climbed to his feet, carefully stepped past my escorts, and merged into the crowd that was filing out.

I stayed in my seat, nursing my ale while the crowd dispersed. My appointment with the adventurers’ guild wasn’t for another hour, and they were only one street away, next to the entrance to the city’s dungeon, so I wasn’t in a rush.

Once the crowd and streets cleared, I made my way over, wandering through the streets on foot. My escorts followed behind. I’d gotten used to having them around, so I barely noticed them anymore. I’d tried to make small talk on a couple of occasions, but none of them responded. I wasn’t sure if it was professional detachment or fear that kept them silent, but either way I’d stopped trying.

After a few minutes, we began to approach a now familiar elegant multi-storey building. I entered the adventurers’ guild, made my way to the help desk in the corner, and asked the attendant to tell Talia I had arrived. Then I took a seat at one of the cafe tables.

Talia appeared a few minutes later, her pink robe clashing with the more subdued colours of everything else in the room. Her crystal staff clanked loudly with each step.

She smiled when she saw me. “You are looking well.”

“More than doubling your endurance will do that to you,” I said.

“It will,” she said, taking the seat opposite me. “How are the new abilities treating you?”

I laughed. “I see why you said I should consider my decision before going ahead and getting hunter’s gambit. Learning to run that fast has been an experience.”

“No accidents, I hope.”

“None so far, but I keep swallowing bugs.”

Talia chuckled. “I took the liberty of adding a pair of speed goggles to your equipment. Once you get up to full speed, you will start finding it harder to see with your strength so low.”

“How much do I owe you?”

“Twenty-seven nobles.”

I summoned the coins and handed them over. They immediately increased by 50%.

Talia smiled as she slid the coins into a purse identical to my one. The fact that it wasn’t pink probably annoyed her, but she didn’t show it. “How did you find the books you bought?”

I’d been digging into the lore on giants and everything I had found was terrifying. They really were that scary. It usually took 50 or more high-level adventurers to subdue one without fatalities. Reading that made me finally understand why the adventurer’s guild was putting it off. That was most of the high-level adventurers in the northern region, and it’s not like those people sat around doing nothing. There were always high-level dungeons that needed culling to prevent breakouts.

“Terrifying. Did you manage to get the rest of my order?”

She shook her head. “No, the printers only print The Monsters Compendium once a year and they are currently sold out. They will reprint it in a few months, before the next influx of students. I’ve already organised for it to be shipped to your village.”

I shrugged. “Well, you said it was a long shot.”

Unlike class information, which scholars controlled, monster information was open to the public. The kingdom wanted its people to be ready to survive, and hoarding information went against that. I’d been able to ask for anything on anything—the only bottleneck was supply. I had two dozen books back in my room, each specialising in a different type of monster, but The Monsters Compendium was the crown jewel. It was an encyclopaedia. Not just the single book version, either. It was the alphabetised one, 37 massive books with every known monster, their abilities, resistances, life cycles, and the locations of where they were found. It was the first item every adventurer party bought when they could afford it.

“It was still worth enquiring,” Talia said. “You should know Jeremby and the others went back into the northern forest to cull the dungeons there. Ames gained a level.”

I smiled. “Good for him.” Unlike every other class, one of the quirks of being an adventurer was you couldn’t crystallize experience, or use crystallized experience. Every level you gained had to be done yourself.

Talia shook her head. “Good for all of us. With so many high-level adventurers killing silkworm spiders, the wild dungeons are getting dangerous. Without Jeremby and the others, the northern road would have been just as dangerous in a month.”

Two men in plainclothes came through a side door carrying a large chest between them. One of them was also holding my new war pitchfork. They came to the table and opened the crate. One by one, items were placed in front of me.

Talia cast a simple spell and item descriptions appeared before me. Without the spell, the enchanted items’ information would have been inaccessible to me.

“Holy shit, those overalls and hat have an insane number of effects.”

“I did tell you that,” Talia said.

I didn’t reply. I was too busy looking at my new items. They were the first enchanted items I’d ever received other than the ring of communication. They weren’t as cool as a flaming sword, but the boosts were altogether out of the norm. It blew my mind that wearing these would cause such an effect. It would be like wearing an exoskeleton that looked like regular clothing.

The farmer items were all class locked, which was important because it made them twice as effective as they otherwise would have been. It had also tripled their cost, but I didn’t care about that. The cloak wasn’t class locked, but it was also the most expensive item—it cost the same as all the other items combined.

The only items that pained me to buy were the potions. At two crowns each, they each cost me nearly as much as my first six months living in Blackwood did and they were for a one-time use. I could accept handing over the exorbitant amounts for the other items since they would work day in and out for years, but the potions hurt.

Not as much as being eaten by a giant, though.

The rings and amulets went on and I kicked off my expensive boots to swap them for the pair on the table. I pulled the overalls on over my suit and threw on the hat and cloak for the hell of it.

Talia cleared her throat, holding out a pair of what looked like snowboarding goggles. “I know I explained this to you last time, but I can’t emphasise the danger enough. Falling over at a full sprint while using those items and abilities can kill you.”

I nodded as I finished pulling on the boots and took the goggles from her. I went for a run around the room at a normal natural pace to try everything out. I immediately felt the difference. Running felt as effortless as walking.

Talia smiled as I came back to my seat. “I can see our products please you?”

“Completely,” I said, grinning as I sat back down.

Her eyes went wide with shock, and it took me a second to realise she was looking over my shoulder. I turned to see who she was staring at and saw Fredrick, the chamberlain, walking towards me, his clothing announcing his station.

His eyes widened as he spotted me and he momentarily lost his professionalism. “What are you wearing?

“Don’t question my fashion sense and I won’t question yours.”

Fredrick gave himself a shake. “My apologies, sir, but the regent would like to have a word.”

31

A PAINFUL MISTAKE

The carriage waiting outside took me to the arena where the gladiators had been fighting. We stopped around the back, and Fredrick led me down a set of stairs into an underbelly of twisting stone hallways and rooms lit with glowing crystal lamps before we arrived at a tunnel. We followed the tunnel to a dead end, where an archway covered in arcane runes and sigils was embedded in the wall.

The air was cold. There was no sound from the street above. This was the kind of place you took someone if you intended to kill or intimidate. Being whisked away to meet the regent during what was meant to be my free time had me in a foul mood. I wasn’t interested in playing games. And just because I didn’t stand a chance in a fight, that didn’t mean I was intimidated.

“I don’t see the regent, Fredrick,” I said tightening my grip on the war pitchfork.

The guards tensed.

The servant nodded, eyeing the weapon. “The regent is inside the arena. You must place your hand upon the archway to reach her.”

I shrugged and did as he said, placing my hand against smooth cold stone.

A prompt appeared.

Would you like to enter the arena?

Yes/No?

I cleared my throat, waiting for an explanation.

Fredrick immediately responded. “Accepting the prompt will allow the arena to create an avatar body for you so that you may enter. Your actual body will remain here under guard while you are inside. To leave, all you need to do is return to the tunnel you entered through and place your hand against the archway.”

I accepted the prompt.

The dead-end tunnel vanished as I was thrown forward. The sensation was so disorientating I staggered several steps before catching myself. I looked around, still clutching my war pitchfork, and then walked back and pressed my hand against the archway behind me. I found myself back in the tunnel.

Fredrick frowned when I moved.

“Just checking you were honest,” I said, and then accepted the prompt a second time.

I appeared where I was a moment ago.

It was a short tunnel with an opening down the far end that had a set of stairs which clearly led to the arena. Weapon and armour racks lined the walls, displaying dozens of variations. I glanced down at myself, looking for abnormalities, checking myself over, but everything seemed the same.

I was even wearing the farmer overalls and hat.

An excited smile managed to chase away my foul mood.

I knew you couldn’t die in the arena, but I hadn’t known it was because the whole building was a virtual reality interactive system. It made sense, though. This world had some truly impressive components to it, but quick healing like the kind I had seen in the arena wasn’t one of them. Constitution increased your recovery rate, but it had to get past 100 before that kicked in.

The tunnel floor was littered with illusion sand. It was the same stuff used to create the model in Jeric’s vault. Up in the stands, I hadn’t been able to see the difference from regular sand, but down here, I could. It had the same too-fine nature.

A roar shook the tunnel, vibrating through me, quickening my pulse.

My gaze snapped forward. I grabbed my war pitchfork with both hands, raising it into a ready position. I cautiously made my way down the tunnel towards the source of the sound and threat. Logically, where I was should have been a safe zone, but I’d been caught out by assumptions too many times to treat it as such.

I turned the corner and blinked. There was no gate over the end of the tunnel at the top of the stairs. The absence didn’t mean whatever made the roar could enter, but it was unsettling.

I swallowed, nervous thoughts running through my head. People love to rubbish character decisions in horror movies. They always think they would know better, be smarter. The truth is, most of the time, the characters don’t know they are in a horror movie until it’s too late. The same applies to reality. There is almost never a big sign announcing you’re about to meet a monster. Except, in this instance there was. That roar was clearly from something dangerous. But even if it was, I was most likely safe while inside the tunnel. Most likely.

I edged forward and stopped at the top of the staircase. I had a clear view of the centre of the arena—and the monsters there. Half a dozen of them approached the regent, showing teeth. They looked like a cross between a lizard and a wolf, with the wolf's dimensions but the features of the lizard.

I tried to focus on one to analyse it, but nothing happened. I frowned. Maybe it wasn’t working because I wasn’t technically here? The body I was using wasn’t real. That made sense.

The beasts moved as a pack, surrounding the regent to harass her from multiple directions.

The regent let them.

She wore an elaborate set of silver plate armour with an open-face helmet. Her weapon was an oversized, two-handed warhammer which she wielded with the speed of a katana, twirling it around her body like a baton. She downright ignored the monsters at her back as she went on the offensive, charging the nearest target, closing the distance in an instant to deal a killing blow to the creature’s neck, using the spiked end, before it could do anything to get away. Her weapons and armour were as beautiful as they were functional, moving with her body like silk, as she ended the creature’s life.

The gladiators I'd watched only a few hours earlier were fast. She was faster.

The other monsters used what they thought was an opening to leap at her, only for her to turn and bring her hammer around in an arch that took the head off one and knocked aside the next. The battle, if you could call it that, only lasted another three seconds before the last of the six lizard wolves was dead.

Watching her fight reminded me of those Chinese martial arts movies, the ones not made for western theatres, where the movements weren’t slowed down, and there could be as many as three or four strikes a second. Only she was swinging an oversized two-handed warhammer that quickly.

She turned to me, put her warhammer down, and removed her helmet, giving off an aura of extreme relaxation. Her beauty and physical strength made her seem like a warrior goddess, a female Ares.

She frowned, tucking her helmet under her arm. “You look ridiculous.” Her strong voice easily travelled across the distance.

“Blame Fredrick,” I shouted. “He didn’t give me time to change.”

“I suppose it doesn’t matter. You may approach, Landlord Arnold, but I suggest you bring a weapon, something better than that war pitchfork. The next round will arrive shortly.”

I stepped up to the edge of the tunnel and took in the carnage. Dozens of monster corpses littered the arena. She’d been at this a while, though she showed no sign of exhaustion or injury. Above the arena floor, the stands lay empty. There were no eyes to cast judgement.

I had few options to choose from other than walking away, and I didn’t want to do that just yet. I needed to get a feel for the regent. She wanted the experience she could tax from the method I created, and she wasn’t going to stop coming after Jeric and I until we gave it to her or we did something drastic. I needed to understand who I was dealing with if I was going to come up with a way out of this predicament in less than six months. Our previous meeting wasn’t enough.

“If it’s all the same to you, I would rather stay here out of your way.”

She smiled.

It was a cold expression.

“I would be more than happy for you to stay out of my way, Landlord Arnold, but you keep putting yourself in the way of my plans, so why would you stop now?”

When we had stopped in front of the arena, I’d suspected she would do something like this but had hoped she wouldn’t.

“I see no benefit for me joining you here,” I said, honestly. Though I was curious about trying out the arena, where I could fight monsters without dying.

She chuckled mirthlessly. “Are you saying that you only work out of self-interest?”

“Yes, and without any intent to harm though that may have happened.” It was the most diplomatic response I could give, even though it sounded awkward.

“Are you saying you would stand with me if it was in your own interest?”

That was a loaded question, the kind that had caught Jeric out. She had something planned and I wasn’t going to like it. I was pretty sure she had just backed me into a corner of her choosing with only four sentences. And I only had one answer. “Certainly.”

“With that sort of attitude, you could never be a good noble.”

That wasn’t the answer I expected which made me curious. “Why?”

“Nobles are required to put our people first, help them grow, and protect them from harm. We work not for ourselves but for the good of those under us. It is our purpose. And you made Nobleman Jeric lose sight of that.”

“How?”

“By helping him put his daughter’s happiness above the safety of those in his care. After learning about the giant, he manipulated Blackwood’s land price, knowingly putting the people he was supposed to protect in harm’s way. As his regent, the burden of punishing him falls upon me.”

I raised an eyebrow, already over her little game. “Speak plainly. I’m a little dense.”

She paused, assessing me for several seconds. “Fine. For his actions, Nobleman Jeric is going to lose his position as village mayor. That is not up for debate. However, it is within my power to hand that position over to his wife as easily as any other noble.”

I crossed my arms and sighed. “And for that to happen, all I have to do is stand with you while you fight monsters.”

“Well, yes…. but if keeping Jeric and his family in Blackwood is not within your interests, then you can simply refuse.” She began to smile. It was the smile a cat might make while playing with a mouse. “I’ll be honest with you. I’m not sure what you will do. And I’ve made extensive enquiries into you.”

That wasn’t good. I was meant to be keeping a low profile for Salem’s sake. “Find anything interesting?”

“Not as much as I would have liked to. You are mostly an enigma I am trying to understand. You are incarnate, but I don’t know which temple brought you here, or how long ago that was, or who you were before you arrived. From what I gather, you are a farmer without support. Yet somehow, you managed to reach your first threshold. That is almost unheard of, except a guard captain in Weldon seems to believe you are a skilled exploitationist. This is something I would usually reject, as they are rare, except you manipulated Blackwood with Nobleman Jeric to gain a truly amazing amount of noble experience. That by itself would almost be enough for me to believe it, but somehow you also gained a fortune in farmer experience, auctioning it off in Weldon, where you managed to assist a farming scholar in passing through his third threshold, which is no small feat.”

I listened, thinking the whole time. Nobles gained a point in every attribute when they leveled with four to use at their discretion. From what I was told, the regent was level 65, which put all her attributes at a minimum of 75 without blessings, titles, or marks. In almost all ways, she was stronger and smarter than me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t beat her. It just meant I couldn’t beat her conventionally.

I sighed, letting her think she was getting to me. “Is Jeric’s removal truly not up for debate?”

“No,” she said, using a tone that left no room for misinterpretation. “Even if the giant doesn’t bring any harm to Blackwood, he still put his people in danger. A noble’s job is to protect them.”

“So it is okay to send warriors off to die for your experience, but Jeric endangering his people for his is punishment-worthy. You sound like a hypocrite.”

If the regent's gaze had been cold before, it was ice now. Her voice came clipped and fast, with barely controlled anger. “You believe you have the right to judge me? You…a man that has never stood on a battlefield before a horde of warrior orcs. A man who has never walked through a slaughtered village where pieces of dead children left over from orc meals are pecked at by crows. I have stood before destruction. I have fought it. I have bled from it. And yes, I have waged war on it because a life lost today will save three tomorrow. I do not deny that my warriors have paid the price for my people’s success. But not once have I ever spent life for personal gain. Their sacrifice has grown this city from the level five I inherited to the level nine it is now. We produce better weapons and armour than any other city in the kingdom and in larger quantity. Because of my level, this city prospers. And that has saved ten lives for each one that perished. So don’t you ever compare what that man did with my actions.”

If I had intended to test her anger, I would have succeeded, but I hadn’t. It didn’t stop me from pushing her further now that she was angry.

I chose my words carefully, hoping anger would cause her tongue to slip. “I didn’t compare you to Jeric and I wouldn’t. Your actions led to certain death; ours only risks it.”

She didn’t explode like I expected. She remained silent, watching. Several seconds passed and nothing happened. She finally smiled.

You didn’t go from being that angry to this calm unless the anger had been an act.

Damn it.

She was playing with me like a damn mouse, letting me think I had the upper hand only to then show me I didn’t.

Her smile grew as I made the connection. “Are you joining me or not?”

I gripped my war pitchfork and stepped out of the tunnel, making my way to her. The regent put her helmet back on and picked up her warhammer.

She stood relaxed but at the ready as she looked me up and down. “You should select some armour.”

“I don’t know how to fight in armour.”

“So you think it wiser to come out defenceless?”

“I think it wiser to run faster.”

She shook her head. I wasn’t sure if it was in disgust, an act, or in complete disagreement with my reasoning. I wasn’t as ignorant as some men when it came to understanding woman. They're not some alien species that speaks an entirely foreign language, but still, the regent was just as much an enigma to me as I was to her.

She’d thrown a party for someone she was trying to steal from, sent a man and others on a suicide mission simply because his wife got in her way. She’d been perfectly willing to take advantage of me in my charmed state. I didn’t know what to make of her. I was a gamer. I didn’t associate with people like her.

She began twirling the warhammer around her hand, playing with it like a toy. “Do you know what happens the morning after a noble turns 18 years old and loses their class?”

I shook my head.

“They are taken from their home to undergo a test of their character. They are brought here to fight monsters under the gaze of their potential teachers. They fight until they are torn apart and bloody, until they experience unrivalled agony. Some fall against their first monster. Others make it through dozens before they are defeated. The pain they go through lasts only a few minutes but feels much longer. Once they’re back together and whole, they are given a choice. Give up or fight again.”

“Why?”

“Adventurers experience a harsh life, filled with violence and pain, and the monsters in a city’s dungeon are its most precious resource. They cannot be squandered on the weak, those who would turn away from the battle to protect themselves from pain. Adventurers need to embrace pain, not fear it. Otherwise, when a truly dangerous beast like your giant shows itself, they might run rather than fight.”

“Sure, I suppose I can understand that, but that trial sounds like it would break more people than necessary?”

She shrugged, which is something I would have thought impossible in that much armour. “Perhaps, but those who pass and then take up the call tend to live longer and more comfortably.”

“I imagine that has something to do with not having to go and fight in wild dungeons where the monsters’ levels are much more varied.”

“Even if that were true, which it isn’t, that would only add to their motivation to pass the test.”

“In what way is it not true?”

She snorted. “In all ways. Adventurers that pass their trial come here to train against the monsters they will fight. They practice where they can suffer real pain without long-lasting damage. There is no substitute for that kind of experience. Most don’t have what it takes to be torn apart one day only to come back and try again the next, hoping that a little more suffering will improve their chances of survival when they try for real. Your actions saved Jeric’s daughter from this experience—though, in a way, you also did her a disservice. Willingly facing that sort of pain over and over again throws off the shackles with which fearing pain binds you.”

“You’ve done it,” I said.

“I had to. There is no better way to train for war than to fight your opponent. Now prepare yourself. The next wave arrives.”

I scowled as the sand around us began to rise from the arena floor, forming bodies similar to the lizard wolves, only much bigger. “I told you I would stand beside you if it was in my own interest. Now, are we fighting together or am I out here on my own?”

“You are not very trusting, are you?”

“Considering the circumstances is there any reason I should be?”

“No. But my word is my word. I will fight beside you to the best of my ability—and I will make Jeric’s wife the mayor of Blackwood if you fight beside me until the end.”

What little I had found out about the regent told me her word was good. But she was also a two-faced bitch and I had to check that word for loopholes eight or nine times before accepting it. She said I had to fight with her to the end. I didn’t know how long that would be, but I was almost entirely certain it was going to be a long time. It didn’t matter. I had walked to the village on a broken leg with a dozen other injuries. I had walked through a forest with my legs shredded. I had faced down trolls, ogres, and cyclopes. If I could do that, then I could do this. If I didn’t, she was obviously going to put someone in charge of the village that she controlled and that would be the end of my freedom.

So I did a really stupid thing and turned my back to her, and faced the monsters that were forming.

The monster creation process wasn’t quick, perhaps half a minute from start to finish. The sand formed rough bodies, like stone statues before the sculptor added details. Those bodies remained motionless until they twitched, and then the outer layer of sand fell away, exposing a perfect, lifelike monster beneath.

The creature before me had a shoulder height equal to my ribs and the talons on the end of its thick toes were as long as my thumb. Its tail was about three feet long and thick at the base which made me think it might be able to use it as a weapon. Grey reptilian skin covered a body that was muscular like a bull but still limber like a wolf.

It opened its mouth, bearing sharp fangs, and roared at me. The others took up the cry. The sound reverberated through me as that unmistakable reptilian scent filled my nostrils. Everything was real down to the last detail.

I never saw the attack.

One moment I was facing off against the one before me, and the next, I was on the ground, pinned under a heavy weight. I felt claws pierce my shoulders and lower back as I slammed into the sand. Air exploded from my lungs. Bursts of hot pain burned through me as skin and flesh parted.

The attacker left me no breath to cry out as its weight crushed me.

Teeth latched onto the back of my neck, hot wet breath caressing my skin. I heard and felt a snap and then everything below went numb.

I was out of the fight in the first second.

The creature leapt away, tossing me aside. I skittered across the ground and came to rest, facing the fight.

I watched, numb and disorientated, as the regent danced between the beasts delivering powerful blows with her warhammer, but where the previous blows killed, these barely stunned. The bigger lizard wolves moved quicker than their small counterparts and together matched the regent for strength. Any time she tried to finish one off another would come in and force her to change targets.

Seconds ticked by and she did not gain the upper hand. The fight moved farther and farther away from me as the regent tried to reach a wall, so she wouldn’t have to cover so many directions all at once.

As the seconds turned into minutes, my brain began to work, losing the numb stupor. My first thought was that she had let me go down on purpose, but the longer she fought, the more I saw her struggle, and I began to doubt that was the case. The monsters may have simply got me.

I heard a wet pop.

Feeling flooded through my body and small stabs of pain where my wounds hadn’t finished healing pierced my back with burning agony.

I hissed.

This wasn’t the sort of fight where I could risk testing my injuries. The creatures were too fast to stand around stretching. I threw myself to my feet, my war pitchfork still in hand, because of my new Sure Grip ability.

I started running.

My one second of experience had taught me I had no more chance of beating one of them in the open than I had of beating a troll. I was only suitable as a distraction. If I could pull two of them away from her, she’d have a chance to finish off the rest.

I considered leaving her to fight alone. But I was sure if I offered anything less than my best, she would use that against me.

The sand under my feet didn’t shift the way sand should. It felt like I was running on stone. Between my items and my abilities, my footsteps chewed up the distance between us in seconds. I was going twice as fast as I could naturally sprint and it didn’t feel harder than jogging.

I began shouting when I’d covered half the distance and then cut left towards the wall. “Come get some nice, tasty farmer, you long-tail bastards!” Instead of just one or two, the four not currently engaged turned and charged me.

“Shit!”

Their stride quickly closed the distance. Even with my magical enhancements making me run faster than I had ever run in my life, they were gaining. But they weren’t fast enough.

I skidded to a stop before the wall on the opposite side of the arena and turned to face them.

The leader slowed its pace so the others could catch up. They fanned out on either side, which barely bought me a second before they were on me.

I slammed my war pitchfork into the shoulder of the one on my left, digging deep into the muscle. The one on the right bit through my leg as the one in front leapt, talons out, riding me to the ground, before clamping its jaw over my head to snap my neck, shredding my throat.

For the second time in five minutes, everything below my neck went numb. There was only pain above the break, leaving me to feel the thick saliva covering my face. Breaking the neck must have been some sort of hunting mechanism for this monster for it to happen twice, which was something I was grateful for.

This time I landed facing away from the regent.

The sounds of battle filled the arena for another minute before going silent. Footsteps and heavy breathing approached.

“I see why the arena master said not to take them on without a second,” the regent said, voice strained.

When I didn’t reply, she came and rolled me over—which was more than a little impressive, considering her right hand was currently nothing but a bloody stump. She’d somehow taken off her helmet, so I saw the cold, pain-filled calculation in her eyes. “Broken neck, it’s how they hunt and how they got you the first time. It was good you came back in. I don’t believe I would have beaten them if you hadn’t.” She let out a small chuckle that sounded half-crazed by bloodlust and flopped down onto the ground. “It was a good fight. But maybe during the next wave, you don’t wear that cloak of taunting. Those bastards rushed me just to get to you.”

Bloody hell, am I still wearing that?

* * *

The horse-sized scorpion clacked its pincers together as its tail came towards me. I stepped to the side, barely dodging, before stepping forward to slam my pitchfork into its maw, the only place not covered in natural chitinous armour. The scorpion reared back, swinging a spiked pincer.

My movement speed was all that saved me from being impaled again. I’d lost count of how many waves we’d fought, how many times I had gone down. How many times I’d screamed as I saw my intestines. All I knew was I’d only been able to kill three.

I wasn’t fighting to save my farm anymore.

I was fighting to watch that bitch suffer.

She’d lost limbs, broken bones, and had half her face melt off. Her bloodlust had waned. I could see the anger in her eyes now when she asked me if I was ready for another wave, ready to go again. The pain was wearing her down. I could outlast her. I would outlast her. I’d make her regret ever forcing me to come here.

* * *

Waking up is never a pleasant experience for me. I’m not a morning person, no matter what time of day it is. So I was more than a little grouchy when I woke to find myself inside a small stone room on top of a hard wooden table. I was less so when I spotted the dwarf sitting on a stool in the corner.

My eyes widened as I grinned. All the stress and pain that was beginning to surface was suddenly forgotten as the excited teenager in me overwhelmed those feelings with pure, dazed wonder.

He was an actual dwarf.

At the very most, he was four feet tall. He wore a white shirt with tan leather trousers and an open matching vest. His salt and pepper beard went down to his belt and he had a gut that protruded out enough to make him fat. His eyes had a slight fluorescent blue glow to them and his face held a set of wrinkles that had to have come from smiling.

I tried to focus on him, but no name appeared. “Who are you?”

“I am Flarian, master of the adventurers’ guild in this city.”

“Okay, what are you doing here? Actually, what am I doing here?”

“You went catatonic. I was brought in to treat you. Do you remember why?”

Images of hooked, spiked worms as thick as my pinkie burrowing through my skin and flesh invaded my thoughts, pouncing on my teenage wonder and tearing it apart with its teeth. I started to shudder uncontrollably as the mental video kept replaying. I’d been torn apart over and over again. Each wound had been agony, unlike anything else I had experienced. I began to scream. The room shrank as my mind pulled me back to the last horror I faced.

The dwarf waved his hand, muttering an incantation.

A cooling sensation rushed through my mind, forcefully separating the memories from my consciousness. Suddenly, it was like I had watched it on TV rather than experienced it firsthand.

The screaming stopped and the horror retreated behind the curtains.

“Try to tell me what happened. Go slowly if you must.”

I hugged my stomach, curled into a ball. “I was fighting in the arena.” My tone came out emotionless. “Some sort of cluster worm creature had gotten hold of me and burrowed its way inside my body. It was eating me alive. I think I passed out.”

“You didn’t. You actually can’t in the arena. Instead, your mind ran away from reality, leaving behind the pain and suffering. This is not an uncommon reaction to cluster worms which is why we usually do not use them in the trial of pain.”

“I wasn’t participating in a trial.”

Flarian crossed his arms. “You made a choice to go out there. You made a choice to remain after each wave. How or why the regent convinced you to do so does not matter. All that matters is that under the eyes of the law, you were there by choice.”

“That fucking bitch.” I wanted the words to come out as a shout, but they were barely above a whisper.

“That is an understandable reaction. Now, whether or not you were actually participating doesn’t matter. You passed.” The dwarf uncrossed his arms and placed his hand on my shoulder.

Light surrounded me and a prompt appeared.

Congratulations, you have passed the trial of pain and acquired the Minor Fearless Mark.

I know the taste of blood and the touch of steel under my skin. I have felt my flesh peel from my bones and hair burn off with flame. Do your worst.

Minor Fearless

Level: 1

Effect:

10% resistance against becoming afraid of actions or sources which could cause minor physical pain.

The strength of this mark scales with your accomplishments during your trial. You were torn apart 29 times before succumbing to fear.

Well done, you have passed the trial of pain with more than the bare minimum required. Your Minor Fearless Mark has gained additional levels and become a Greater Fearless Mark.

I know the taste of blood and the touch of steel under my skin. I have felt my flesh peel from my bones and hair burn off with flame. Do your worst.

Greater Fearless Mark

Level: 8

Effect:

80% resistance against becoming afraid of actions or sources which could cause great physical pain.

Flarian waved his hand, causing the cool feeling inside me to vanish. He went back to folding his arms. “Think about what brought you here now.”

Just suggesting it made it happen. Images of worms burrowing through flesh and salivating monsters came unbidden, but this time I didn’t shudder into an immobile mess, only cringed a little.

“Could you go back out there if you had to?”

I nodded my head slowly. I wouldn’t be happy about it. The experience had been horrible, but it was now separate enough from me that I could if I had to. A few seconds ago, I would have told you that would never happen.

Flarian stood up. “Then my work here is done.”

He headed for the door. He stopped for a moment before reaching it and turned back to me, moving his right hand in an arcane gesture. Light flared across the walls as he cast some sort of spell.

He sighed and gave me a friendly smile. His whole posture changed. “For the next three minutes, no one will see or hear what is said in this room. I know who you are and what you did for my adventurers, Landlord Arnold. I’m not sure what you did to piss off the regent, but I’m guessing she wants something from you. She doesn’t usually get this violent unless she does.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because like you, I hate that bitch. She’s a woman of her word, so any promise she makes you she will keep—but anything not promised she will use against you if she needs or wants to. I say that from experience.”

The dwarf pulled down the collar of his shirt and showed me a brand on his collarbone. I had no idea what that meant.

“I can also tell you from experience that you scared her today. She only brings people here that she thinks she can easily break. You didn’t break. You stood there and let yourself be torn apart repeatedly. You made her suffer with you. You made her get desperate. You made her fight cluster worms. She might have the same fearless mark as you, but that doesn’t do anything for the pain. You tortured her almost as much as she did you…I don’t know if it was courage, stubbornness, or hate that kept you going, and I honestly don’t care. I’m just going to warn you that you’ve made her your enemy. She’ll destroy you even if you give her what she wants.”

I sat up on the table, swung my legs over the side, and then ran my hand through my hair to give it something to do. “I was just trying to help a friend.”

I’d also been trying to help myself, but after the third wave, that wasn’t motivating enough to keep me going.

The dwarf shrugged, having to look up at me now that I was sitting. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever your reason, whatever your intent, the reality is you tortured her as much as you did yourself.”

“But it’s her fault!”

“You think she thinks that? No, in her mind, you did this to her. You did this by not giving in.”

“That’s psychotic.”

“That’s the woman you are dealing with. Take my advice or ignore it. Either way, our time is up and we never had this conversation.”

Flarian didn’t wait for me to reply. He immediately turned and grabbed the door handle, opened the door, and walked out.

Fredrick entered the room as he left, entirely expressionless. “The regent wishes me to inform you that you failed to live up to your end of the bargain and stay to the end so she will not live up to hers.”

An almost animalistic growl escaped from me. “I’m ready to step back into the arena right now.” I spat the words at him. I had gone through hell for this. I wasn’t going to stop now.

Fredrick flinched. “Be that as it may, the regent has been gone for hours.”

His response left me so angry I had to take several deep breaths before I could speak. The waves of rage washing through me were unlike any I’d experienced before coming to this world. My voice came out as a hiss. “In that case, deliver a message to her for me.”

“Certainly, sir.”

“Tell her I gave her a fair chance and she threw it in my face. So congratulations, she fucked herself because now I’m pissed off.”

Fredrick went pale.

I cleared my throat. “Do you need me to repeat it?”

32

AN INTRODUCTION AT NIGHT

I scowled as I filled my glass with whatever spirit I’d pulled from the bar in my room, before heading out to find Jeric. I had been hard-drinking for more than an hour, but my mood was so foul even the socialite ability barely touched me. Despite everything I saw firsthand, I didn’t want to believe the regent was as bad as everyone said. I wanted us to be able to make a fair deal.

Now, I knew the truth.

Whoop-de-fucking-do.

I picked up the glass and poured the contents down my throat. The burn bit me something good as I swallowed. I put the glass on the table and refilled it.

Twenty-nine times. Twenty-nine times, I was torn apart fighting monsters I had no chance against. The fear, the pain, the feeling of utter helplessness, it was all for nothing. That bitch dangled something shiny in front of me, and like a sheep, I blindly followed it into the slaughter pen.

She made a mistake, though. I wasn’t a sheep. I wasn’t a fucking farmer. I was goddamn gamer and I could be a toxic sonofabitch if you pissed me off. She had fucked with the wrong guy.

The door to Jeric’s family’s apartment opened and his wife and daughter walked in. Emily noticed me sitting on the couch and frowned.

It was a pretty frown.

The girl hadn’t become much prettier after gaining 25 points in charisma, but she was a bit prettier. She wore a lovely, storm-blue dress and had her hair tied in an elaborate plait. She would turn every boy's head back home, but after seeing some of the other noble men and women I knew she was still less than average in the circles she walked in. The poor thing.

Isabella looked like a more mature and refined version of her daughter. She noticed me after her daughter did, gave me a look of alarm, hand forming into a position that I guessed would cast a spell, judging by the glow coming from her fingertips.

Emily caught her mother’s wrist before she could act. “That’s the man I told you about. The one who helped me with my performance.”

Isabella lowered her hand ever so slightly, halting her attack. “Sir, why are you drinking in our rooms?” Her voice was firm and sharp with an energetic edge.

“I need to speak with Jeric. I’m a friend of his.” The words came out blunt and angry. Too angry.

A hint of tension left her shoulders. “Sir, I do not know you, and I know most of my husband’s friends, but even if I did know you, waiting here would be far from proper. Now I must ask you to leave.”

I liked Jeric too much to make a scene, so I picked up my glass and bottle and stood, looking around. “Do you mind if I take a chair into the hallway with me?”

Emily tried to move towards a chair, but her mother caught her shoulder. “Chairs are for guests and you are currently not one.”

“Fair enough. You have any idea how far Jeric is behind you?”

“He was sharing a bottle of port with Lord Aster, so I cannot say.”

I nodded my head. “Sorry for intruding. It never occurred to me you wouldn’t return together. I’ll wait outside.”

Isabella stepped out of my way, dragging Emily with her. The girl didn’t seem to be worried about my appearance at all.

I stepped past them and into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I found a comfortable spot on the ground, leaned against the wall, and returned to drinking.

I was furious, angrier than I had been in a long time. The regent had been toying with me the whole time. I’d let her put me through hell for nothing more than dragging her down with me. She was going to do everything in her power to destroy me now. And so long as I kept reacting, she would succeed.

I poured two more glasses down my throat, one after the other in quick succession, before the door beside me opened.

Emily poked her head out and looked around before her gaze fell on me. She smiled timidly. “I’m sorry to intrude, sir,” she whispered, “but on the day you helped me, I couldn’t see your name and I was too flustered to think to ask. I’ve been singing your praises ever since, but without a name that has only been so effective.”

“My name’s Arnold,” I growled.

She frowned. “Farmer Arnold, the landlord who helped my father gain all the experience.”

“That’s me,” I said, opening my interface to display my name and titles.

Your relationship with Emily has improved from Neutral to Friendly. Emily can be relied upon to stop and chat and help you with minor problems.

“Why didn’t you say?” Emily opened the door further and turned back to the room and yelled. “Mom, the gentleman outside is Farmer Arnold.”

“What?” came a shouted reply.

I heard what sounded like running and then Isabelle appeared in the doorway, hair half undone. “You are Farmer Arnold?”

“Yep.”

Your relationship with Isabelle has improved from Distrusted to Ally. As your Ally, Isabelle can be relied upon to keep your secrets and help you when you are in trouble. Your problems are her problems.

Her whole demeanour changed. “You should have said. Come in, come in. Emily, take his glass and drink.”

Emily rushed over and took my bottle, holding out her hand for my glass. I handed it over as I climbed to my feet. Isabelle grabbed my arm and threaded it through her own, practically dragging me through the door.

She led me back to the chair I’d left, going so far as to pause and fluff the pillow before allowing me to sit. “I’m so sorry, Arnold. You are always welcome in our home. I am truly appalled to have thrown you out. My husband has told us all about you. And I’ve wanted to meet you since you arrived, but between the ball and all the post ball invitations that couldn’t be refused, we honestly haven’t had time to spare.”

Emily pushed a full glass into my hand, making a face at the smell. “How are you not drunk?”

“I went to a scholar’s party once.”

Emily frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Isabelle turned to her daughter. “I’ll explain when you are older.”

Emily looked at her, confused.

“I gained the socialite ability there,” I said to clarify. “Now I can’t get drunk.”

Emily managed to look even more confused. “But that’s a noble ability.”

Isabelle sighed. “I’ll explain it to you when you are older.”

Emily scowled at her mother. “Why can’t you explain now?”

“Because we are having a polite conversation and that is not a polite conversation. Discussion over.”

Emily’s scowl turned into a glare.

Isabelle ignored her daughter’s anger and turned to me. “As I was saying, it is a pleasure to meet you. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you did for our daughter. I cannot express what it means to us with words, but I promise you if you ever need anything in this life, I will be happy to help you.”

“You’re welcome.” I had no clue what else to say under the circumstances.

She turned to Emily, staring daggers. “Thank him.”

Emily glared back and spoke through gritted teeth. “I was going to.”

“Then do it.”

Emily turned to me, trying not to blush and failing. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

Her mother huffed out a breath, annoyed. “Do it properly.”

“Maybe I would have done it properly if you had given me a chance to think about what I was going to say, but no, you wanted me to do it now like you always do.” Emily stormed out of the room. Several seconds passed and then a door slammed.

Isabelle gave a somewhat forced smile. “She’s been under a lot more scrutiny than she’s used to. It's been stressful for her. She is truly thankful for what you’ve done. I’m sure she will tell you herself at some point.”

“I understand,” I growled, mood still terrible. “Her ascension ball was an intimidating and unpleasant experience. I can’t imagine what it must be like going through that sort of thing day after day even if you are trained for it.”

“You are too kind, Arnold. But that is to be expected. After all, my husband cannot stop raving about your character.”

“Jeric raves about me?”

“All the time. It’s a little annoying at this point since he has given you his word not to go into details—I keep hearing about how amazing you are without knowing why. Though the fact you are my daughter’s mysterious singing instructor does indicate that whatever I don’t know must be as amazing as he claims. Literally hundreds of nobles have written to us about the performance, congratulating us on its success. No one has ever sung so poorly and been so well-received. No one has been desperate enough to consider the pure emotional angle of music for such a performance. Several scholars want to talk to you about that, by the way.” She looked about. “I have their information around here somewhere.”

“I’m a bit too busy to talk to scholars.”

Hearing that, her expression turned serious. “I do not wish to sound like I’m accusing you of anything, but why are you here?”

“The regent tried to manipulate your family and failed. Now she’s moving against me. She is going to remove your husband from his position as mayor. She told me she would make you mayor in his place, but that was a trick.” I didn’t feel like telling her about all the pain that was involved in that trick. Not right now. Maybe when I could face it without yelling. “She’s going to use whomever she replaces him with to make my life as difficult as they possibly can until I tell her what she wants to know. As far as plans go, it’s pretty solid.”

“You have a plan to stop her, don’t you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“My husband was a nervous wreck before the ball. An hour after you arrived, he was racing all across the city, throwing together deals with some of the most powerful men and woman in the kingdom like he did so every day. In a few short hours, he somehow did enough favours to pull together the experience for our daughter to reach her threshold. He warned me about you when he got back. He said that you can appear and turn everything on its head in an instance. And you just said you needed to speak with my husband. In your state, you would only need to do that if you had a plan that required his help to implement.”

Damn, brains and beauty. Jeric was one hell of a lucky guy. “Am I that obvious?”

“Honestly, yes, but so is my husband which is probably why he likes you so much. And to be fair, being obvious never stopped him from getting things his way. And I doubt it will stop you. So you can wait right there until he gets back and then the three of us will do whatever we need to protect you.”

* * *

Nobleman Pater stifled a yawn before scratching his aged jawline and resting his elbows on his parlour table. Perhaps waking the old man in the middle of the night hadn’t been the politest or most endearing way to introduce myself, but time was crucial. And Jeric promised he was used to it.

Pater finished his yawn before dropping his hand. “I’m sorry, Arnold, but Jeric is correct. The regent has every right to take the title of mayor from him for manipulating the village land price while there is a known danger.” Pater’s voice had a dry rasp to it like aged, crinkled paper.

Jeric and Isabelle shared a look, holding hands, taking comfort in each other’s presence, as they sat to the side, waiting for my point. Neither of them complained when I refused to fill them in on what I was planning to do while we were in the palace.

All I’d told Jeric was I needed a lawyer well-versed in noble law. He had organised a carriage and argued with the gate guards until they let me out. The carriage then brought us straight to Pater, his old law teacher from his academy days in the capital, and then Jeric banged on his door until his servants woke.

I fought off my own yawn, blinking several times to keep away sleep. Exhaustion was making me sluggish and my anger was wearing off now that I was doing something. Running around the arena hadn’t physically taxed my body, but all that fear and pain was mentally draining. Without my new mark, I would be little more than a screaming mess.

“Would the regent be able to remove him if the village had been abandoned?”

Pater shrugged. “Jeric was never granted the title to the village, which makes him its custodian, not its lord. The regent may remove a custodian at any time.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“It is.”

“What if he were the lord of the village? Could she still remove him?”

“Only under specific circumstances like those currently enacted. But otherwise, no. She does not have that power.”

I nodded. “Okay then, let’s say hypothetically that the order to abandon the village was given tomorrow and Jeric was lord of the village rather than just its custodian. Would she be able to remove him in that scenario?”

Pater turned to Jeric. “You were a bright enough student to answer this question. Under such a scenario, could she legally remove you?”

Jeric turned to his wife, a sad smile hugging his lips. “She might argue that I did not do enough to rebuild Blackwood after the goblins sacked the village, but that would be a petty excuse, as I have now resold the land and collected taxes…however, she can still use it.”

Pater nodded.

Jeric gave his wife’s hand a comforting squeeze and then turned to me. “There is no scenario where I remain mayor, Arnold. I knew that the moment the regent refused to abandon the village. I’m not bitter about that. Our daughter has a future thanks to what we did. That is enough for me.”

“Damn it,” I said, ignoring his defeated tone. “Making Emily mayor is going to complicate this.”

Jeric and Isabelle’s gaze hardened at the same time and they began speaking together, “She’s too young.”

Pater cleared his throat, smiling slightly, his eyes suddenly bright. “What they mean is she cannot be a custodian of a village until her twenty-first birthday. It’s the law. However, I believe you are making this suggestion as you intend to somehow make her a lord, not the mayor, and have her parents manage the village in her place. This is legal…and intriguing. How do you plan to accomplish this?”

Sitting in the palace fighting off Ilia’s charm effect gave me days to plan our way out of this. But most of those plans were highly confrontational and required us making an enemy of the regent which I hadn’t been willing to do until now.

“Jeric is going to exchange the knowledge of the exploit we discovered for the title from the king. After I bankroll the cost of abandoning the village by offering to pre-purchase the land that the crown would have to pay for if the villagers decide to sell up.”

I’d talked about the possibility of buying the land from the villagers at the crown’s price with Ranic within the first few days of learning they weren’t going to abandon the village and him suggesting the loan. The only two hurdles were getting the crown's approval and the outrageous price we had created. Those were two obstacles I could now overcome.

Pater’s brow crinkled as he thought. “Like every noble at Emily’s ascension ball, I’ve heard whispers about this method, but how practical is it? How many nobles can take advantage of it?”

Jeric stared at me in surprise. So his wife had to nudge his shoulder before he answered. “Only a few dozen across all eleven kingdoms can truly benefit by my estimate. But there might be three times that number that can gain from it in a small way.”

“The number isn’t important,” I said.

Pater frowned. “The number is always important. Developing a new method of exploitation allows the creator to receive a quarter of the experience earned from it, not counting the favours that are traded to gain this information.”

I knew that. It was why it was so important that I kept my trap method a secret now that I knew it wasn’t a new exploit. If I managed to make it work safely, the amount of experience I could gain from building more barns and repeating it in other villages would be simply insane.

I paused, looking Pater in the eye. “Normally I would agree with you, but our method can only be used by those nobles who are in poor circumstances, people who do not have a lot to trade.”

“This would make it less valuable, not more.”

I smiled, my first in hours. “Correct me if I am wrong. But if I sell this method to the king, and he gives it to his nobles with the stipulation that they must use the experience they gain to level themselves and develop their lands, the king’s actions will be classified as him strengthening his kingdom, which is the sort of action that will cause him to gain royal experience.”

Pater’s jaw dropped.

“Furthermore, it is my understanding that royal experience is more valuable than any other experience and that every method that can create this experience is already exploited to its utmost which makes any new method that much more valuable. Am I correct?”

Pater nodded slowly but then frowned again. “I’m honestly not sure. I’m not a scholar. Methods for gaining royal experience are closely guarded secrets, but what you describe does seem plausible. However, if he agreed to go through with this, Jeric would lose any chance at gaining favours from other nobles, as you will all have to take an oath that you would never reveal the method to anyone before the king makes it public knowledge.”

I looked at Jeric. “Are you okay with that?”

Jeric sighed and then smirked. “I considered going to the king with this method almost as soon as I realised it was an exploit. The only reason I never suggested it was I couldn’t think of anything you might want from him, and at the time, it wasn’t anywhere near as valuable.”

Pater turned to Jeric. “It will work?”

“Yes. I’m just not sure how effective it will be for the king.”

Isabelle squeezed her husband’s hand harder than necessary as she began to scowl. “Jeric Nobleman, are you seriously considering making our 17-year-old daughter lord of Blackwood without consulting her? Need I remind you if we are successful, she will be stuck there for the rest of her life. You think she is moody now. Imagine what she will be like after you do this to her.”

A guilty expression crossed his face before his features firmed. He turned to me. “Arnold, I think it’s time that I take my wife to the other room and explain everything I haven’t told her?”

Isabelle looked at me questioningly.

I nodded. “Do it.”

Jeric sighed like I’d lifted a great weight off of him. “Pater, I’m sorry to impose, but can we use your quiet room?”

Pater waved his approval, unfazed by secrets. Jeric and his wife stood and went through the door behind Pater, further into the house.

When they were gone, I asked, the obvious question. “What’s a quiet room?”

Pater rubbed his bald liver-spotted head. “It’s a magically warded room that cannot be spied upon by means both magical and mundane. Most nobles have them in their parlour, but I like a little sun while I play cards and entertain, so I have mine in my library. I’m surprised you’ve never heard of it.”

“It didn’t come up.”

Pater deflated, suddenly showing his age, looking frailer than he had since our arrival. “Please tell me you’re not so ignorant that you at least understand the significance of what you are about to do.” His tone held a hint of fear.

“What am I about to do?”

“You are about to declare political war on a woman who is more powerful and cunning than you can hope to be. She also does not like to lose and is petty enough to take any form of vengeance she can. Have you considered the longterm repercussions?”

“No, but the only alternative is giving her what she wants. And I’ll damn myself before I give that sadistic bitch anything.” The last few words had a bite to them.

“That might very well be the case. The king’s authority only goes so far. She will make your lives as difficult as she can.”

I paused, fighting the anger rolling through me, so I could reply without snapping at him. He didn’t deserve it. He’d been nothing but helpful. “What can she do? That’s an actual question, not rhetorical.”

He didn’t even need to think about it. “She will start by putting pressure on the merchant guilds. She’s done it in the past. She’ll have their people contact those merchants who visit your village and have them change their trade routes, so they ignore you. You are a minor village so the loss of revenue will be nothing in the grand scheme of things. Next, she will demand the crown's portion of the tax be paid in one particular resource, something that the village already collects, but will inconvenience you if it all has to go to the crown and can’t be sold or traded back to the locals. Once you start running low on supplies, high-level merchants will appear and begin charging you exorbitant amounts for basic items. She will bankrupt the village within eight months.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

“Then she will start getting creative, maybe try using other guilds to ostracise you from the surrounding villages, boycotting your products. If it goes far enough, she will start a war and conscript you.”

That last part surprised me and I thought that I was done being surprised by the regent’s actions. “She’s done that?”

“No…that was mostly bluster, but I don’t doubt she would be capable if she thought it might work. My point is, there are a hundred ways she can make your life difficult, and all it costs her is a conversation. You might be able to thwart her attempts, but each instance will cost you far more time, resources, and effort than it does her. You’re playing a game of chess where you’re only starting with your pawns and your king, and she has a full board. She will grind you into nothing if you aren’t prepared.”

I smiled. “Your tone suggests you know how to prepare.”

A “no” formed on Pater’s lips, but he paused before any sound could come through. A look of confusion crossed his brow as the pause lengthened, and he leaned back. He stared at me, lost in thought. After a minute, a tired smile played across his lips. “This is one of those rare instances where you don’t know you know something until someone asks you if you do.”

“So you know how to prepare?”

“No, not personally. But I know someone who does.”

“Who?”

“Noblewoman Rina, the regent’s twin sister. She can teach Jeric and his family what they need to survive, maybe even thrive. She’s been countering her sister’s attempts to ruin her for her entire life. And she’s only had the one serious failure. If anyone knew how to grow a village or town with the regent working against you, it would be her.”

“Would she help us?”

“Yes, but it won’t be out of the goodness of her heart. The two of them are as bad as each other. However, I imagine she will jump at the opportunity to frustrate her sister. So she’ll offer you a reasonable price for her services. However, I will warn you now that if you intend to gain her services do so before the need is dire. Hate will only cloud her judgement so far, and if she sees you as prey she will pounce on you as quickly as her sister.”

“Thank you for the warning…I have a few unrelated questions if you don’t mind my asking.”

“I’m charging Jeric as much per minute as most lawyers would by the hour, so I would consider you wasteful if you didn’t.”

For a second, I almost asked how much he was charging, but I realised that I didn’t actually want to know. The frugal part of me would get sidetracked by the number and I might start panicking. So I launched into my long list of questions. Our conversation turned more abstract. I asked about different laws and how they applied to our situation, using the opportunity to gain more information.

Pater was an excellent teacher, answering my questions quickly and concisely, without going into technical details that would bog down our conversation. A few hours flew by without me noticing as I tried to expand my understanding of the situation we had gotten ourselves into. Knowledge was power, especially in this world.

Eventually, Jeric and his wife returned.

Isabelle’s features were firm as she took her seat. “That was an interesting conversation. You and my husband have been causing all sorts of trouble. When did you want to do this, Arnold?”

“You’re in?”

Her face softened. “When I told you I would do everything in my power to help you, I meant it. And I must say I’m as curious as my husband to see if we can pull this off.”

“In that case, the sooner, the better. We’ve been reacting for too long. It’s time we fought back.”

33

LOOSE ENDS

A knock on the carriage door woke me in what felt like moments after falling asleep.

“Sir, the owner has arrived,” the driver said through the door.

I stretched, working blood through the knots developed from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. My hands hit the carriage walls as I moved about. The lack of space was uncomfortable, but it was better to sleep in the carriage than risk going back to the palace and not being able to come back out. I blinked away sleep several times, fighting to stay awake, before finally saying, “Thank you. I’ll be out in a moment.”

The driver gave a grunt of reply and I felt him return to his seat at the front of the carriage.

Since Jeric’s father was a member of the royal council of scholars, he was confident he could acquire a summons from the king by the end of the day. That would get us out from under the regent’s thumb, but it also meant I was out of time here in Melgrim.

I had to make an important decision far sooner than I wanted to.

I bit off another yawn as I opened the carriage door and stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of Quilly’s store. The front door was open, with a sign showing a clear invitation to enter. The sun had barely appeared which meant I’d been asleep for a couple of hours.

I gave myself another shake to wake up and then walked inside. Quilly sat behind the counter, working on something with a whole lot of minuscule gears, no bigger than anything you would see in a wristwatch. A glowing crystal, with a desk lamp like hood, sat above her right shoulder, providing light. The store smelled of grease and metal, with a hint of something I couldn’t place.

She didn’t even look up as I entered. “I’m not done with the first one yet. Come back in a week.”

“I won’t be here in a week,” I said, trying to be cheerful and pleasant despite the hour.

She scowled at the device. “Not my fucking problem.”

“Has anyone ever told you your customer service is terrible?”

“I’m a trapsmith, not a bard,” she growled. “My job isn’t to give a pleasant experience. It’s actually the bloody opposite.”

I thought about it for a second. “Okay, I’ll concede that.”

“Good, now fuck off and come back in a week.”

“No. I’d like to see what you have done.”

“It’s not finished.”

I dropped my pleasant tone. “I didn’t ask if it was fucking finished. I said I wanted to see what you had done.”

Quilly huffed out a breath as she slid a gear into the device in front of her. She looked up and glared at me. “If I show you my unfinished work, you have to agree to no refunds first. I’m not having you say I’m not worth your money simply because you look at something that isn’t bloody finished and think it’s not worth your money.”

She gave me a smug smile, expecting me to disagree.

“Deal,” I said.

Her hands froze and she looked up at me. “Seriously?”

“Yes. I want to see what you have done.”

She gave a confused shrug and put down her tools. “Wait here.” She went out the back, into her workshop, and returned carrying my book of designs and a stack of drawings. “After going through all your designs, I decided to start on your trapdoor pitfall design.” She opened up my design and then began spreading out pieces of paper. “I saw that a few of your ideas had crude mechanisms built into them for multiple uses and figured that you would want them all to be multi-use, but you couldn’t work out how. So I replaced your hinge system on the trapdoor with a central pivot point so it will spin and drop your target into the pit before locking into place again. I’ve also changed the lever mechanism that caused the door to drop to a safety mechanism that now causes the trap to become active. I’ve added weighted locks that will hold the trapdoor in place until something steps on it. These weighted locks can be changed out to allow different weights to stand on them without activating them. I’ve also changed the design of your spikes so that you can’t grab onto them and climb out unless you are wearing steel-plated gauntlets. Other than that, there isn’t much you can do to a pitfall trap to make it more dangerous except make it deeper. I do have a few extra designs here for things like mithril razor thread that will cut anything that falls on it in two, but you said you wanted any old smith to be able to make everything, and that’s a custom item.”

I stared in awe. Not because of what she had created, though that was impressive, but because she'd also added the instructions for building and installing each part. Anyone could follow these instructions and do what I was doing—a lot more effectively.

I went through page after page until I came to one that didn’t make sense. “What’s this?”

“It’s the part I’m stuck on. Like I told you, you can technically use the spikes to climb out of this if you’re wearing plated gauntlets, or the equivalent. I am trying to fix that issue by making some of the spikes also behave like switches, which will activate pressure spikes that come out of the walls if something tries to climb out. However, I can’t figure out how to make them reset without adding so many other mechanisms that it will double the size of the trap and quadruple its cost.”

Damn.

Well, I had my answer.

She was worth the money.

Now, I had to secure her assistance. “I would like to hire you longterm.”

She scowled. “You’ve already bloody hired me for the next six weeks. How much longer could you possibly need my services?”

“Four and a half years. The first year will be paid in advance, but you would have to relocate and take an oath of secrecy,” I said. That was roughly how long I had Ranic for, so I figured that it was the safest bet to have her help for just as long. If I hadn’t worked out a safe and reliable way of gaining experience by then, it wasn’t going to happen.

“No way. I’m not taking a contract that long without becoming a retainer.”

“Without becoming a what?”

“A retainer. You know.”

“I’m recently incarnated. I don’t actually know.”

“You’re yanking my balls, right?”

“No.”

She sighed. “Basically, you would become my employer instead of my client. You would pay me my standard rate and I would work for you exclusively. If I have spare time and someone comes to me wanting me to do a job on the side, you would have to approve it, but you would also receive the profit associated with that work, except in the case of blueprints. In that case, we would split the profit.”

“That sounds like what I proposed, except I might make some money back.”

“It does, except as your retainer, you would be obligated to feed, clothe, shelter, and equip me with tools. You would also be obligated to give me a fund for supplying me with resources outside of those projects you request so I can grow my class.”

I frowned. “Okay, that sounds like it heavily favours you.”

She grinned and scratched her chin, smearing it with grease. “It does.”

“What happens at the end of the contract?”

“That depends on our relationship and your needs. If you still need my services and I enjoyed working for you, we can choose to continue working together with or without a new contract.”

“I think I’m going to need a few more details,” I said. “Is there a place around here where we can get some breakfast?”

Her eyes went wide. “Wait, you’re seriously considering making me your retainer?”

I nodded. “I’d rather just employ you, but if you will only accept being a retainer, then I’m going to at least consider it.”

“What would a nobleman need with a trapsmith retainer?”

“First of all, I’m not a noble. Secondly, that’s a secret you’ll have to take an oath to find out. But let’s discuss what becoming a retainer involves before we go down that path.”

* * *

It was early afternoon by the time my carriage rolled through the palace gates. The meeting with Quilly had gone on for hours as I tried to understand what was involved in making her a retainer. The comparison to an employee turned out to be a poor one. Retainers were more like paid members of a household.

Because I was already so exhausted, it had taken me a while to get my head around everything involved, but I’d eventually understood. With all the extra costs, having her as a retainer could end up being almost ten times the price of merely hiring her services, but I eventually agreed to pay after she took me into the back to her workshop and showed me “the good stuff,” as she called it.

I had to fight to suppress a shudder. There had been this exploding mithril razor thread ball that could instantly turn any tunnel, room, or hallway into a death trap. Try to walk through and there would only be chunks left. It was like a medieval version of the laser hallway in Resident Evil.

She’d asked dozens of questions that I refused to answer, before she took an oath. Once she had, I hired the use of the oath binder’s quiet room, because I was now paranoid, and told her what I was attempting to do.

She’d started cackling.

It had been more than a little unsettling, but she had agreed to become my retainer and we had the oath binder write up a five-year contract, not four and a half like I’d originally intended. I’d paid for her first year of services in advance, purchased her tools and equipment, and given her a fund for transporting everything to the village. The ongoing costs of keeping her services were going to be much higher, but compared to the price of buying out the villagers for the crown to issue the abandonment order, it wasn’t that much at all, and luckily I could use the loan to pay her.

I had no idea if I was making the right decision without Ranic or Salem to run it past. It felt like the right decision, but I’d have to live with the consequences if it wasn’t.

Fredrick was waiting for me when the carriage pulled up outside the palace. “Farmer Arnold, you agreed to stay in at night and leave your mornings available for if the regent needed you.”

So it was no longer Landlord Arnold. “I had pressing business, Fredrick,” I snapped, trying to keep him on his toes. “But that has been taken care of. My day is now free.”

“That was not the agreement. And the regent wished to speak with you. As you have breached the agreement, your lawyer has been contacted and informed of your actions. You may not leave the palace grounds for the next seven days.”

“Fine,” I said.

Fredrick opened his mouth and froze before frowning. “You don’t intend to complain?”

The regent’s actions yesterday made the whole point of staying during the mornings abundantly clear. It was just a way for her to make my life difficult. It was meant to aggravate me into rebelling which would give her more power to use against me.

Leaving last night and not coming back this morning had been a calculated risk. And I’d expected this sort of reception. Fredrick's actions confirmed my suspicions about how the regent worked. She was about control. She liked to poke people until they snapped. But she poked them in the right place and made them snap to her command, giving her an advantage she would exploit.

Her actions yesterday were supposed to break me. Make me fearful. All she had done was turn me against her.

“I do,” I said. “But I will do so through the legal channels. Am I still able to meet with my lawyer?”

Fredrick nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“Send for him. If there is nothing else, I’m going to go have a nap.”

The look on Fredrick’s face grew more and more concerned as I walked past him and into the palace.

* * *

A servant knocked on my bedroom door several hours later, waking me for a second time.

“Landlord Arnold, the regent would like to speak with you immediately.”

“Give me a minute,” I said groggily.

I threw on the clothes I'd left out. I’d packed the rest away in preparation for my departure. My guitar had arrived while I was out and was now sitting beside my luggage, begging to be played. I hadn’t had the energy to do anything more than open the case and examine it before putting it away again. Maybe I would get a chance to play it later.

It was a beautiful instrument. Simple white paint slowly shifted to yellow as it worked its way from the bottom to the top. Silver vines and flowers overlaid it all, reminding me of a garden. It was both elegant and uncomplicated, something I felt entirely comfortable with.

I exited my bedroom, nearly running into the servant due to my new speed. He hastily stepped back, getting out of my way. I waved my lawyer, Arba, over to join us from where he sat on the couch. He’d turned up about an hour ago thinking he was here to deal with my imprisonment. I’d woken up long enough to ask him to wait in the sitting room and entertain himself and then gone back to sleep.

He quickly gathered his documents. I could see the servant wanted to protest but didn’t know how or if he was even allowed to. So, he wisely kept his mouth shut.

I nodded to the door.

The two of us followed the servant through the palace in silence. When we arrived at the great hall, we were made to wait outside for several minutes. Arba tried to engage me in conversation, but I kept avoiding it. The less he knew, the safer he would likely be. The only reason he was here was that I needed a witness. I didn’t trust the regent not to fabricate some story after I was gone.

The great hall doors opened. The announcer cleared his throat, eyeing me sideways, and announced us in, pausing ever so slightly before he said my name, like he didn’t want to be the one to say it.

We entered.

The last time I walked into the great hall I was charmed. The heads mounted on the walls had caught my attention, but even their imposing sight hadn’t managed to remove the sense of celebration and fun that filled the room.

Today, anger clung to everything and the heads seemed more like victims than trophies.

The herald’s voice echoed through the cavernous room as I walked forward. The regent sat on her peacock throne, flanked by a dozen advisors and servants. Her gaze seemed strained. Being torn apart by cluster worms did that to you.

Jeric and his family stood before her with Pater at their side. Jeric and his wife seemed calm, but Emily seemed to be shaking. The regent was looking down at them with open frustration.

I calmly fell in beside them, managing not to turn and smile in their direction.

The regent glared at me for several seconds, unable to hide her hate. The look twisted her pretty face into something ugly enough to match the person inside. “It is my duty to inform you all that you have been summoned to appear before the king tomorrow morning. Special access to the city’s teleportation circle has been granted. You will gather your property and leave within the hour.”

I smiled as I looked her in the eye. “Thank you for your hospitality this past month. And thank you for delivering the king’s message.”

It was against protocol for me to speak when not spoken to first. But, I was also a farmer. Therefore, she didn’t have much of a leg to stand on when it came to a breach in etiquette. And I had worded my reply carefully enough that anyone listening would only hear me thanking her. Not rubbing her face in the fact that I had forced her to be little more than a messenger.

It was small and petty, but I was in a small and petty mood.

Her face went red, and for a moment, I thought she might pop a blood vessel or attack me. The arms of her throne squeaked under the force of her grip. “You are most welcome, Farmer Arnold. I look forward to our next meeting.”

34

MEETING THE KING

Breakfast with the king’s royal council was not exactly what I’d expected when we received a summons from the king. The dining room was brightly lit, with a view of the palace gardens, which was some of the only greenery within the city limits. Any business talk was forbidden until after everyone had eaten, so nothing had been accomplished by this meeting so far.

Jeric’s father, Eric, sat beside him as support. The two men were almost identical in appearance, and the older man’s level was high enough to make him look younger than he was, making them seem like twins.

Since Eric had taken an oath not to divulge the secret of the method before Jeric shared it, he could not participate in the negotiations on the king’s behalf. Instead, he was our advocate, the member of the council whose job it was to convince the other members that what we had was worth their time and the king’s investment.

Royal Councilman Minder wiped his mouth with his napkin as the servants took away our empty plates. “Nobleman Jeric, the royal council is willing to accept your terms on the king’s behalf. The title for Blackwood will be given to your daughter, Emily, and the crown will pay for the construction of five magical buildings and supply them with academy-trained retainers who are capable of operating them for the first decade, owned by Landlord Arnold and selected at his discretion with the approval of the village’s future lord. As the village is only currently level three, and possesses a single magical building, three of these buildings will be held in reserve until the village levels. Do we have an agreement?”

Minder’s words sent a small zap of shock through me. I turned to my friend. Jeric hadn’t told me he'd bargained for additional rewards.

Jeric cleared his throat, trying a little too hard to pretend I wasn’t staring at him. “We do, councilman.”

All four councilmembers smiled at his words, some a little more than others, but they all seemed happy with the outcome.

Jeric leaned over and whispered, “You are welcome.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered back.

“I wasn’t sure if they would accept and I didn’t want to get your hopes up for nothing.”

“Fair call.” I grinned. “Thank you.”

Minder turned and regarded me once his smile wore off. “Landlord Arnold, the crown accepts your offer to purchase the land from Blackwood’s villagers in its stead once an abandonment order has been given. We will require 20,000 crowns be transferred to the crown's coffers before the order is issued.”

I looked around the table, eyeing the council nervously, unsure of what to do. I hadn’t really expected them to get straight to the point. My experience with nobles so far had been that they liked to take their time. These four seemed all business. “Am I supposed to hand it over here?”

Minder gave a small chuckle. “No. The king’s treasurer will be along shortly. You can hand it to him. Also, Councilman Eric has put your name forward for an additional reward as you are the chief creator of this method. The exact nature of this reward will be proposed by the council to the king once our oaths have been administrated and we understand its significance.”

Cool.

I hadn’t expected any reward after Jeric wrangling Emily’s title from them, but I was happy to accept one along with my new magical buildings.

Minder cleared his throat. “Since we all agree, I see no reason to hold off on taking an oath. Are there any objections?”

We both shook our heads.

The royal oath binder, who was seated down the end of the table, rose with a contract that was a dozen pages long, and began explaining its contents to everyone, making sure we were all in agreement. Ranic understood the method I had created, but he’d already sworn an oath of secrecy to me, so there was a clause that said I wasn’t allowed to use him to inform others of the method. I hadn’t mentioned Salem, but I couldn’t mention him, so I’d been careful to word my responses by saying that no other person knew the method. Salem being a familiar didn’t fit that definition. Jeric had a similar clause for his butler and the captain of the guard.

Once the oath binder went through the contract, we all made our oaths. After several large glasses of brandy to calm our nerves, we got down to the business of sharing the method with the councilmembers.

Three-quarters of the way through my explanation, Councilwoman Meri blurted out, “You’ve solved the Stagnation Dilemma! Scholars have been working on that for centuries!”

I paused. “What’s the Stagnation Dilemma?”

Eric cleared his throat. “I can explain most effectively as I have had the time to consider the ramifications of his discovery.”

The councilmembers nodded their agreement.

Eric turned to me. “It’s commonly accepted that the laws are balanced. That in every hardship, there is an opportunity for growth. The Stagnation Dilemma is a line of scholarly pursuit focused on stagnating villages and towns. It has always been believed that there must be a mechanism by which a town or village in poor condition could turn itself around. This is apparently that method. If you require a greater explanation, I would be happy to answer later. For now, please continue with your explanation.”

I did as Eric asked, explaining what we had done and why. They had Jeric go through the same process. And then they began questioning us in detail. The questions started simple, but pretty soon, they were asking about things I had never considered and, in several cases, things I did not know. None of them was satisfied until they removed every crumb of information we possessed.

I was feeling like a dried-up sponge by the time the treasurer arrived to take the gold. And there were still more questions after that.

When it was finally over, Eric led us to another official-looking room where Jeric’s family was waiting. The room seemed like a smaller version of a throne room due to the throne-like chair in the middle of the far wall. The rest of the council went off to inform the king of their findings.

Jeric and his father made small talk, beginning polite but distant. The two men didn’t really know each other as royal councilmembers were not allowed to have families. This was only the fifth time they had met.

Without Jeric to talk to, I was left standing beside the window. I looked out across the garden, thinking about how life had led me here. I mean, I was in a king’s palace, an actual king’s palace. If you had told me two years ago that I’d be in a king’s palace doing business, I would have called you crazy. You wouldn’t have even had to mention that the palace was in another universe. That was how insane I considered the situation.

I was lost in my thoughts when Emily wandered over.

She wore a simple purple dress with a pin holding her hair, so it tumbled over her shoulders attractively. She smiled, looking out the window. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Bright flowers and carefully sculpted shrubs filled the view. “Yes.”

“The trees remind me of home. That’s why I love coming here for the garden parties.”

“I think you are misremembering home,” I said. “There is nothing this majestic in Blackwood.”

Emily scowled for a second, losing the wallflower look she so carefully tried to maintain in public. “And there is nothing like this anywhere else in the capital. You saw it last night. Everything is stone. I miss the green of open spaces.”

“If you say so.”

“I do…my father said it was your idea to make me the lord of Blackwood.”

The direction of the conversation changed so fast it threw me for a second. I frowned. “I’m sorry if that upsets you, but you were the only one the regent couldn’t touch.”

“I know. My parents explained that too. Actually, they explained many things, but they left out a lot. Details they said they couldn’t share outside a quiet room. That in itself is telling. A month ago, I would have said there was nothing my parents needed a quiet room for. Now it seems like a necessity for almost every conversation we have. It makes me wonder about you.”

A grin formed as I watched a gardener working on one of the hedge sculptures. “Wonder what?”

“Whether or not you expect me to be your wife.”

“Wait, what?” My head turned so fast I think I gave myself whiplash. Pain flared across my neck. Emily was looking at me utterly serious. The look alone made me hear police sirens. “No, no…no, no, no.”

“So you haven’t approached my parents with a betrothal offer?”

My face felt hot. “Um, again, no.” The words came out too high-pitched. “Why would you think that?”

She started counting off her reasons. “Well, you helped my father gain all that experience, and then you helped me pass through my threshold. You’ve somehow managed to gain me a title for our village where you are a landlord. That added to the fact that you are wealthy enough means it would make sense for my parents to agree to a marriage proposal. With all those reasons, it is the only reasonable conclusion.”

“That’s the only reasonable conclusion?”

She nodded seriously. “Yes. The parties we were invited to over these past few weeks have earned us a fairly large amount of experience, compared to the past. If our betrothal were public knowledge, those invitations would end. It makes complete sense that my parents would keep it secret from me.” There was an undercurrent of barely controlled anger and hurt in her tone.

I swallowed. Of all the things I thought I would have to deal with, this was not one of them. “Well, start looking for a less reasonable conclusion. Once you have that conclusion, go even less reasonable, and once you have that, go one step further, and then you might be close to what’s actually going on.”

“So, we aren’t secretly betrothed?”

“Again, no.” I turned to her parents, fighting heart palpitations. “Jeric, tell your daughter that I have never approached you about marrying her and that we aren’t secretly betrothed. She won’t believe me.”

Jeric paused his conversation and turned to me, fighting a smile. “Emily, Arnold has never approached me about marrying you, and you certainly are not secretly betrothed to him as compensation for the many large favours I might owe him.”

My stomach dropped. “Not like that. Say it like it’s true.”

Isabelle scowled at her husband. “I told you she would come to this conclusion. Emily, I promise you, your father and I have not sold you off to marry Arnold or anyone else.”

Jeric was openly laughing now. “That’s not true. I got two cows and a goat. It was a wonderful deal.”

Emily began to growl, but at least it wasn’t aimed towards me, so I didn’t care.

Eric hid his laughter behind his hand. It seemed he and his son shared the same sense of humour.

Isabelle came and led Emily away, talking in a soft soothing tone, the way my mother used to do when I was upset at her age. She didn’t get halfway across the room before a servant appeared.

“The king is coming.”

Eric waved everyone over and got us into position while Isabelle tried to quietly reassure Emily.

I swear, an honest-to-god trumpeter came into the room and blasted us with sound before a herald appeared and announced the king.

The king strode in, followed by a dozen guards and his council. If you took the epitome of what a king should look like and combined it with a bodybuilder, an underwear model, and Hercules, then you wouldn’t be far off describing him.

I couldn’t guess his age because he somehow managed to look youthful and respectably aged at the same time. He towered over me at six and a half feet, with broad shoulders and massive arms. His chestnut hair was cut short and he had the densest beard I’d ever seen on a man. His intelligent gaze took in every detail of the room with a single glance and I felt the moment our eyes met in my core. Every cell in my body said this was a man. I suddenly understood how Starlord felt when Drax called him a dude.

The urge to bow gripped me, and my body bent willingly without need for me to consciously do so. Every cell in my body told me this individual deserved it.

The king strode across the room and took a seat on the throne. “You may rise,” he said, voice commanding like a general yet as warm and loving as a grandfather speaking with his grandchildren.

I straightened. I’d been around nobles with high charisma, but the king existed on a whole different level. Even with my mark and all that practice, I couldn’t stop myself from staring.

An aide came forward with a book and presented it to the king.

The king took the book and his gaze fell on Emily. She blushed, trembling. “Noblewoman Emily, on my authority, before these witnesses, I grant you the title of Lord over the village of Blackwood to the third generation.”

As the king made his proclamation, light enveloped Emily and a large silver crystal of experience formed in her right hand.

The king turned his attention to Jeric. Jeric had the exact same reaction I did. His face flushed and awe filled his gaze.

“Nobleman Jeric, your king and your kingdom thank you for coming to my council with this method. It will do a lot of good.”

The herald slammed his staff against the ground. “Nobleman Jeric, the king has addressed you. You may reply.”

Jeric straightened, his gaze changed, suddenly strength filled him. He dropped to a knee and bowed his head, hand over heart. “My king, I have stood my watch against the night with candle flame and courage. Now sunrise beckons me home to rest and I am weary.”

The king rose from his throne. The light in the room seemed to grow brighter. A kind smile touched his lips as he stepped toward Jeric. He placed his hand on the top of Jeric’s head. “Honoured watchmen who stood guard while I slept, your duty is done. Now take your rest.”

Light enveloped Jeric’s body. And every noble in the room turned and bowed to him.

I stared dumbly, with no clue what was happening. I moved to bow since almost everyone else was doing so, but the herald caught my gaze and shook his head firmly, so I stopped before I did more than bob my head.

The king stepped back and returned to his seat as the glow left the room. A small gold crystal the size of a pea rolled between the fingers of his right hand. “You may depart. I wish to speak to my council.”

We all bowed again and left the room.

I didn’t regain control of my body until the king was out of sight. I was pretty sure I wasn’t charmed—but then again, I knew from experience that I wouldn’t be able to tell if I was. I hadn’t remembered seeing the charmed prompt until after I’d entirely fought off the charm’s effects. I was going to contact a wizard after I was done with the giant. I wasn’t going to let this keep happening.

The doors had barely closed when Emily turned to her father and burst into tears. “Why did you do that? I didn’t want you to do that.”

Jeric tried to hug her, but she fled his arms for her mother. All Jeric could do was pat her shoulder. “I didn’t plan to, sweetheart. But when the king thanked me for my actions, I knew that it was my time. You’ve gone further than I ever hoped to. Growing myself is pointless now. You are our family’s future.”

I got a hint from his words, but not the full story. “Okay, what happened back there?”

Jeric’s wife looked over Emily's shoulder at me. “My husband had the king cap his class. He can still gain experience, but he can no longer use it himself. His level is as high as it will ever grow.”

I frowned, confused. “I can understand not using your experience, but why cap yourself?”

Jeric smiled, still patting his daughter's shoulder. “A noble’s purpose is to develop those under them. There is no one under me now and there never will be. It only occurred to me when the king thanked me on behalf of the kingdom that I had an opportunity to do something wonderful.”

“Capping yourself was wonderful?”

He smiled as he nodded. “In this case, yes. It’s all a little technical, but think of myself and Emily as the heirs to the village. She holds the title of lord of the village, but I am the recipient of the noble experience from the method you created. I was going to give her the experience anyway, but the way things were, the option for me to give her the experience was still up to me. At any time, I could have taken it for myself. Now, however, the king has stepped in and capped my level. I can’t use the experience myself, and the only person I can freely give it to is my daughter, which will inevitably raise her level.”

My brain started catching on to what he was saying. “And because that can only strengthen her and her village, by capping your class, the king’s actions made the kingdom slightly stronger which earned him experience.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, I can follow that, but why’s Emily so upset?”

Jeric’s face fell. “Because she just realised with my level so low she might out live me by a century.”

35

EVERYBODY LOVES CARD COUNTING EXCEPT THE HOUSE

In the late afternoon, someone knocked on my door. “It’s open,” I yelled from the sitting room, keeping the count. I’d sent the servants away because I didn’t want them to see what I was doing. I heard the door open and looked up to see Jeric enter.

He stared at me, hunched over the table with cards laid out, and shook his head. “What are you planning now?”

“Can’t tell you. What do you want?”

I kept placing down cards.

Jeric flopped into the armchair opposite me. “Well, I seem to be in need of employment.”

I snorted. “Don’t you still get your monthly stipend from your class promotion or did you give that up too?”

“No, I still receive that.”

“Then why do you need a job?”

He threw up his hands. “Sanity. I have spent years managing a village that only required a few hours of my time each day. I have studied. I have read. And I have been bored to tears for most of it. And then you came along and made it fun again. I’d like to do something worthwhile with my life. I’d like to work for you.”

My brain went, Huh? and I lost the count. I let out a groan and threw down the cards. “You want to work for me. Doing what?”

Jeric smiled. “I have the administrator class. I would like to use it to organise your farm.”

“What makes you think I’ll need your help?”

Jeric smile turned into a smirk. “Arnold, you don’t wake up before ten and you’re practically useless before lunch. Most farmers rise before dawn. That is half the day where nothing is organised. That was fine when you were only in charge of yourself, but if trapping this giant works, you will be in charge of a few thousand people within a year. Honestly, what were you planning to do?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” I said. “But I figured Ranic would tell me when it became relevant.”

Jeric chuckled. “That was your plan?”

“Look, it wasn’t my idea to have a massive farm in the first place. I was perfectly happy doing what I was doing. It was Ranic who wanted me to do this.”

“I could point out that it was your idea to buy most of the village and that you were going to need to have a farm at some point anyway, but I can see you aren’t in the mood. So I won’t.”

I rolled my eyes. “So what does an administrator do?”

“We facilitate productivity.”

“Huh? What does that mean?”

“You know how nobles increase the productivity of their village based on their level? Well, administrators organise everything so that productivity can take effect. There’s no point in having a farmer who can work twice as many fields if he has to spend half his days locating fertiliser. Administrators make sure the right tools and resources are in the right place at the right time for them to be used to their best ability.”

Now he had my attention. “So you will plan out everyone’s work, make sure they have their equipment, and check that jobs are done.”

“Exactly.”

“You’re hired.”

“Would you like to see my references?”

“No.”

“They’re exceptional.”

“I’m sure they are.”

“Let’s talk wages then.”

“Wait, I have to pay you?”

Jeric laughed. “Of course, only slaves work for free, and the kingdom outlawed that centuries ago.”

“How much?”

“Eighteen crowns a month.”

I started choking. “That’s the same as your stipend.”

“Yes, well, I’m not just an administrator I’m a noble administrator, which means you pay me based on my noble level, not my administrator level. However, there are added benefits to me being a noble that you wouldn’t otherwise receive.”

“You better hope so if you want this job.”

Jeric raised an eyebrow, not buying the threatening tone for a second. “Since I also have access to the farming class, I’m a much more effective administrator when it comes to anything related to a farm, and I also receive promotions related to farming regular administrators don’t easily gain access to.”

“So when you said you have the farming class because you were the mayor of a farming village, what you meant was you had it so you could administrate easier.”

“Yes.”

“Okay. What level is your administrator class?”

“Thirty-three.”

I frowned. “That’s a little low considering the cost of employing you.” I did some quick calculations in my head. Wages were more or less a fixed cost based on class and level. Only the very best could haggle for more. “I could hire a master administrator for a quarter of that, or more than a dozen of a similar level.”

Jeric nodded. “Which is why I promise to put all my wages into buying experience for my class.” Jeric’s face turned serious. “Look, I know it’s not a good offer considering the cost, but I want to help. You’ve done so much for my family and this is actually something I’m good at. Something I know how to do. I’d willingly work the next decade for free if I could. But I can’t. What I can do is promise you that you won’t regret hiring me.”

A small smile found my lips. “You could always gamble with me until you lost your wages.”

“You forget I’ll lose half to the crown and village as taxes, but I’m willing to gamble my stipend with you if that’s what it takes for you to accept my offer.”

I grinned.

He was serious.

That could make this more interesting.

“What’s your gambler skill level after everything we did?”

Jeric frowned. “It’s maxed, just like yours. But what does that have to do with anything?”

I looked down at the cards scattered across the table. “Well, we’ve got 11 days until the king makes his announcement before the court and hands me my reward. I think that’s more than enough time for us to clean out the capital’s casino.”

Jeric looked at me, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how I’m going to afford to employ you. There are only a few steps.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Step one: let me teach you how to win at blackjack.”

* * *

It took eight days, but the casino had finally shut down its blackjack tables. Jeric and I sat in my apartment grinning ear to ear as 14,737 gold crowns sat on the dining room table between us.

When I’d learned that the people here knew what blackjack was and that there was a casino in the capital, which only used one deck, I knew no one here had worked out how to count cards yet, so I made a promise to myself to one day clean it out. It had been just as exciting as I had imagined it would be. Watching the dealers become more and more worried as we repeatedly won was one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. Every greedy bone in my body had screamed in constant ecstasy.

I pulled out a deck of cards and began shuffling.

Jeric looked at me and frowned. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I told you that I had a plan for how I was going to afford to employ you. Step one was teaching you how to count cards. Step two was taking the casino for everything it was worth. Step three is now we are going to play Texas Hold'em with our winnings.”

Jeric snorted, not at all surprised. “Fine, I didn’t want to be rich anyway.”

“Oh, don’t sound so disappointed. You are going to absolutely love what I do with this money.”

36

GROWTH, ACQUAINTANCES, AND EXPLANATIONS

I knelt with my hand over my heart before the king. A crowd of nobles and influential people stood behind me. The king’s voice enveloped the great hall, shaking the stonework with his power. “Landlord Arnold, for your services to my kingdom in solving the Stagnation Dilemma, I have decided to bestow upon you the mark of the crown. Furthermore, you will receive six attributes worth of rare blessings and 500 crowns each time your mark achieves a new level.”

The king placed his hand upon my forehead and a prompt appeared.

The king would like to bestow the crown’s mark. Would you like to allow this?

Yes/No?

I had no idea what the crown’s mark was, but it was my reward, and it came with 500 crowns and six attributes worth of free blessings, so I wasn’t going to deny it. I accepted.

Congratulations, for solving the Stagnation Dilemma and trading the information to the king, you have received the crown’s mark.

Heavy is the head who wears the crown, but blessed is the man who helps him. The king has marked you for your services to the kingdom. Now the kingdom offers its support in return.

Crown’s Mark

Level: 1

Effect:

+3 to all attributes.

+1% to the quality of your farm’s produce.

+5% to the quantity of your farm’s produce.

+5% to experience gained on your farm.

-5% to the negative effects of disease and pests on your farm.

-5% to the fertilizer requirements on your farm.

If a field on your farm is below level 1 it will immediately level to this level.

I’d barely finished reading the prompt before another took its place and a second brighter wave of light hit me.

The crown’s mark sees all.

Congratulations, for your services to the kingdom, your mark has leveled multiple times. Your crown’s mark is now level five.

Heavy is the head who wears the crown, but blessed is the man who helps him. The king has marked you for your services to the kingdom. Now the kingdom offers its support in return.

Crown’s Mark

Level: 5

Effect:

+15 to all attributes.

+5% to the quality of your farm’s produce.

+25% to the quantity of your farm’s produce.

+25% to experience gained on your farm.

-25% to the negative effects of disease and pests on your farm.

-25% to the fertilizer requirements on your farm.

If a field on your farm is below level 5 it will immediately level to this level.

The king gasped.

Two dozen guards blurred forwards, but before they had crossed half the distance, the king flicked his wrist and halted them.

I felt my body change as the mountain of attribute points hit me all at once. My muscles grew more toned and defined. My breath came easier. My heart rate slowed. And the twinge in my back from kneeling awkwardly disappeared.

It felt good.

It felt really good.

Way better than getting blessings.

The king began to laugh, making a sound of open delight. The nobles and other people of importance saw their king laugh and joined him. Laughter reverberated through the great hall.

The king clapped me on the shoulder, hitting me with just enough force to convey how pleased he was, instead of driving me into the floor and killing me. “It is a rare occasion when I cannot judge what reward a man should receive for his actions. As an incarnate, so much about you is different from my people. The only way I could be fair was to have the laws show me the full extent of your actions through the crown’s mark.” The king dropped his voice, so only I could hear. “You are two levels higher than we were prepared for. There are currently a handful of scholars and twice as many servants, all sprinting towards the treasury to make up for this mistake. So you’re going to have to improvise a very lengthy speech to help me save face. I can see what you are thinking, and yes, this will help grow your crown’s mark further.”

The king took away his hand and raised his voice once again. “Landlord Arnold, common is the man or woman who achieves more than a level upon receiving their mark, but rare are those who receive five. For such an achievement, I would have you rise and tell my court of your world.”

Before coming here to this world, the thought of standing in front of a crowd and giving an impromptu speech would have given me a stomachache, and I then might have fainted, but with 51 points in charisma, I was past what most normal people were capable of and in the lower realm of some of the greatest orators in history. So instead of blanching, a smile spread across my cheeks as I rose and activated Lowheart’s Lungs, enhancing my voice to carry four times further, so the entire room could hear me.

* * *

A servant woke me at an ungodly hour the following morning. Fifteen points into all my attributes hadn’t done anything to lessen my foul mood at waking up at a regular time—though it did do something for my grogginess.

The feast went into the early hours of the morning. I hadn’t been seated with the king, but Jeric’s family and I shared a table in the back of the main hall with influential nobles and merchants. For the first half of the night, I thought our seating arrangement was a reward, but it turned out to be a reflection of our new standing.

My new mark, mixed with my status as a landlord in Blackwood, crossed with Emily’s new title and her new levels meant Blackwood was expected to grow rapidly—so rapidly, in fact, that everyone around us was overly friendly and promising all sorts of assistance.

I climbed out of bed, bathed, dressed, and then ate a quick breakfast before the servant led me through the palace to the temple.

The servant took me to the front row of pews and asked me to sit and wait. I wasn’t too upset by being made to wait. I was here to receive the blessings the king had offered. I would happily wait all day for another 30 attribute points—attribute points you couldn’t buy no matter how much money you had.

Once these blessings were taken care of, I had a few more errands to run before I could leave the capital. It would be another two weeks before the teleportation circle connected to the city closest to Blackwood, but I wasn’t sure if that would be enough time to get everything done.

I leaned back into the pew and looked around the temple, trying not to fall asleep. The interior was similar to the one I had woken in more than a year ago, only smaller. The same golden serpent hung on white marble walls, and the only fabric in sight was a deep red.

I’d asked Salem about the golden serpent symbol and got a very unsettling response. The serpent was apparently real. Once or twice a decade, the sun would dim, and the skies darken. During that time, you could look directly at the sun and see the serpent. On that day, every man, woman, child, monster, and beast would go outside, raise their hands to the serpent and offer it their mana.

Despite this mana-based devotion, the people of this world didn’t worship it as a god. Mainly because the serpent told them it wasn’t. It was just a powerful, millions of years old benevolent being who kept their sun from expanding and destroying everything. It had given them the laws that governed their world as a way of siphoning the enormous amounts of mana required to keep the sun under control. The once or twice a decade mana devotion they gave to it was to help it renew the spell.

It also somehow regulated the weather by directing different intensities of sunlight towards different parts of the planet, causing the perpetual late spring/early summer that I had spent the last year and change living through.

It was a lot to get your head around, and I honestly couldn’t believe it until I saw it for myself. But as far as religions went, it was no wackier than the church of the flying spaghetti monster.

There were footsteps behind me and then a sharp intake of breath before a familiar voice said, “What do you think you are doing here?”

I turned to see Archbishop Varla walking through the temple entrance, followed by a line of acolytes. Leading the line was Damella, the girl who had killed me. She’d done a fair bit of growing since I had last seen her and could no longer be mistaken for someone three years younger than she was. Damella kept her eyes down and her expression solemn in contrast to Varla’s open anger.

Seeing Damella didn’t fill me with anger or hate. Yes, she’d killed me when she brought me here, causing me more harm than anyone else had ever come close to, leaving an emotional scar that still ached. But the pain she caused me was through youthful, arrogant negligence and not specifically intentional. My actions with the cane were far more intentional than anything she did to me.

Remembering what I had done wasn’t something I liked to think about. Knowing you weren’t half as good a man as you thought you were was rough. I’d crossed a line I thought I wouldn’t cross. And I had to live with that knowledge.

The servant who had brought me glanced at me for a second before replying. “Landlord Arnold is here to receive his blessings, Archbishop.”

Archbishop Varla sucked in a breath, losing much of her bluster. “That’s you?”

“That’s me,” I said, fighting off a grin. Watching Varla squirm was surprisingly enjoyable. “How are you keeping, Varla?”

She paused, tucking a stray blonde lock behind her ear, trying to compose herself. “I am well.”

“Me too. I imagine that’s all we need to talk about for you to do these blessings.” My tone made it clear I wasn’t here to cause trouble unless I had to.

She nodded once, losing some of her intensity.

Then the damn trumpeter walked in and blasted his damn horn. Archbishop Varla cringed, shoulders tightening like a cable under a heavy burden. A second later, the herald followed, made his announcement, and the king walked in.

I stood with everyone else and bowed. Even with my new attributes, I couldn’t fight the impulse.

There was a moment of seriousness as everyone remained down, and then the king said, “You may rise.”

An excited shriek erupted from my killer. “Daddy!” She ran and leapt into his arms.

The king’s face split into a grin as he hugged his daughter. The archbishop cringed further, staring at me, nearly panicked.

The last piece of the puzzle fell into place. Retrospect is a wonderful tool. My arrival in this world was all sorts of bizarre. I didn’t see it at the time, because I’d been disorientated, but now I finally understood.

When I’d first woken on the altar, Damella was the only person in the room with me. She’d smiled at me excitedly. Then I’d asked her where I was and the smile vanished. She’d turned and run from the room screaming. Ten seconds later, a cleric had rushed into the room with his right hand glowing and I was out for the count.

I didn't even remember anything hitting me. One second I was conscious and the next I was out cold.

The second time I’d woke on the altar, Varla had been there, fiddling with the ring on my finger. Her tone had been calm and caring, designed to put me at ease. Everything she’d done was designed to put me at ease. I now knew the process of attuning me to the ring took far longer than it should have. She’d carefully loaded me with information, subtly confusing me until I couldn’t think straight, and then she told me why I was here, and whose fault it was.

It had pushed me over the edge.

She’d made me angry enough to want violence.

For the longest time, I’d wondered why she offered to let me cane Damella. Varla’s actions on the surface looked like they were designed to appease me, and after the fact I couldn’t figure out why she would care. I was nobody. I didn’t matter. Why would she want to keep me happy?

The answer was Varla didn’t want to keep me happy. She didn’t care about me at all, but she did care about Damella.

No one—except the king—was above the law. All I’d had to do was say I wanted to press charges and Varla would have had to inform the city guard, which would have potentially gotten Damella a 25-year sentence. Like all those in power in Radian, she was oath-bound to uphold the law. The only way she could protect Damella was to make sure I didn’t press charges. So, she’d confused me, sent me into a rage, and let me cane Damella, all to make me trust her more than I should have.

She was a level 74 cleric. Despite looking like she was in her early thirties, she was likely in her seventies. She wasn’t young or naive. She probably had 300 points in her wisdom. She’d read me while manipulating me. Figuring out how to poke me to do what she needed. She’d convinced me not to press charges and then immediately tricked me into fast travelling across the kingdom, giving her a ten-week head start in case I decided to change my mind.

Putting me so far away confused me further, buying her more time, as I tried to come to grips with my new reality. By the time I understood my situation well enough to remember Damella, my anger had waned, and I was able to look at the situation objectively.

She’d been five steps ahead of me the entire way through our first meeting, weaving a series of actions and reaction that led to the outcome she wanted. And she had got what she wanted.

Damella and I were even as far as I was concerned. She hurt me. I hurt her. There was no need to press charges. The part I hadn’t understood until now was why Varla would go through so much trouble to set this all up. Now I knew.

Damella wasn’t just some rich noble or merchant’s daughter. Damella was a princess.

The cascade of attributes I’d received from the crown’s mark had increased my wisdom, and details I would have missed before were now obvious. Like the fact that Varla probably thought that this would be a good opportunity for me to oust her for what she had done and maybe try to blackmail the king at the same time. She wasn’t wrong.

But more than a year had passed. I was no longer upset by my new life the way I had been. Sure, I’d never see my family or friends again, but I had new friends, better friends in some ways, and I had come to accept the part about my family, even if I hadn’t yet gotten over the pain completely.

Besides, my death was an accident. There was no need to make someone else suffer. My suffering was enough.

I didn’t say that, of course. I was annoyed enough with losing ten weeks of my life over that whole fast travel incident that I let the archbishop stew, enjoying every second of it.

It only took a few minutes for the king to suspect something was wrong, and even then, I think he may have noticed straightaway and only waited to address the problem because he was talking to his daughter. Once he was done with his initial hello, he walked right up to the archbishop and said, “What are you hiding from me?”

His guards’ hands moved to the hilts of their swords. I’d been informed that every one of them had passed through their third threshold, and some had passed through their fourth, gaining a second class. Each man and woman in his guard was so well-equipped they could hold their own against a dozen warriors or monsters of the same level and strength.

The archbishop spluttered, attempting to form a sentence. I think she was trying to lie, but the king's sheer presence made that sort of thing nearly impossible.

The acolytes looked on in astonishment. The king’s daughter finally noticed me, did a double-take, and cringed.

The double-take was fair. I was fifty pounds lighter and far more handsome than when I arrived. After the feast, I spent fifteen minutes looking in the mirror trying to get used to the changes. I still looked like me. It was just a better me. A way hotter me. I was totally going to get laid more often.

The cringe was also fair. I technically still held her fate in my hands. I could press charges any time I wanted to before the next solar festival occurred. After it did, it was like the slates were wiped clean and any crime committed before would not be punished.

The king turned his gaze on me. “You are involved?”

I had no idea how he’d worked that out. I thought my poker face was better than that. The number of attributes the man possessed had to be insane.

“Yes, Your Highness.” I couldn’t stop myself from replying or even attempt to stop myself from replying once he asked me.

“Then answer my question.”

“The archbishop is trying to protect your daughter. She is the one who incarnated me. But in doing so, she accidentally killed me in my own world.” Of all the reactions I expected, the one I got surprised me.

The king smiled.

“Ah, you finally make sense. I thought it was because you were incarnate, someone from another world.” The king turned his gaze on the archbishop. “Stop spluttering. Landlord Arnold has no intention of accusing my daughter of murder.” The king turned to me. “And you won’t gain another level in your mark from making that an oath. The mark has already read your intentions and factored that in. It’s why you got those extra levels I didn’t expect and why I couldn’t see how I should reward you.”

Damn. That was exactly what I was hoping for.

“Now, Archbishop Varla, give this man the blessings he earned so we may have a private discussion about you keeping secrets from me.”

The archbishop moved to obey.

+ 9 Endurance

+ 6 Constitution

+ 15 Intelligence

* * *

The foyer for the capital’s adventurers’ guild was identical to the one in Melgrim which made navigating it easier. However, here they were so busy they had a line. I waited for nearly fifteen minutes before reaching the front, nervous the entire time.

I’d been so busy enjoying Varla’s discomfort and figuring out why she’d gone to such lengths to manipulate me that it hadn’t occurred to me until after I left that I had caned the king’s daughter. That I caned the daughter of the only person in the kingdom that wouldn’t go crazy if he killed me. That I caned the daughter of the only person in the kingdom that was literally above the law and could do whatever he wanted to me. That I caned the daughter of someone who I physically couldn’t function around or stop myself from answering truthfully.

“No, Your Highness I don’t want to hit your daughter again. I have no feelings of anger towards her.” I was pretty sure I could survive if I gave that answer.

“No, Your Highness I still don’t feel bad about caning her.” That one would get me killed.

I needed to get out of the capital.

The only reason I hadn’t made a run for it was my Greater Fearlessness Mark was letting me ignore all the painful and imaginative ways my mind was telling me the king could kill me. It was letting me think clearly even when my brain didn’t want to think clearly.

Basically, it let me know I was fucked.

If the king decided to act, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop him. So I might as well continue with life ignoring the headsman’s axe until it hit me.

Ember, the elderly adventurer woman behind the help desk, smiled. “What can I do for you today?”

I placed the badge Talia had given me, signalling I was a friend of the Melgrim Adventurers’ Guild, down on the counter. “Ember, I would like to talk to your quartermaster about purchasing a complete set of common and uncommon blessings.” Talia informed me this was the only place in the kingdom where you could make such a ridiculous purchase.

“I’ll see if Quartermaster Magwir is available.”

I nodded and took a seat. Ember disappeared for several minutes before returning to lead me through the building to the quartermaster's office.

Magwir’s office was filled with dozens of houseplants. Every available space around his desk was covered in pots. He wore a grey wizard robe with gold sigils, and his staff rested behind him, but he was far from your usual scrawny wizard. The man was built like a powerlifter, his biceps thicker than my thighs. “I am told you want to purchase a complete set of common and uncommon blessings,” he said gruffly.

“I do.”

“You’re a friend to the adventurers’ guild, so I’ll be upfront and give you our regular price for this sort of thing. Before you try to haggle it down, I’m going to tell you that it’s less than the 50% markup that your status earns you, and it won’t do you any good. This is a take it or leave it sort of deal.”

“Okay, how much?”

“Ten thousand crowns for the complete set of monster cores. You’ll have every blessing you can receive on this continent and a few you can’t. There are 786 in total. The guild keeps a list of individuals who are interested in receiving blessings that require more than one person to receive them at once, which will bring the price down somewhat, but you are going to have to pay the cost upfront and be reimbursed later.”

My eyes widened. “How many can I receive alone?”

“Two hundred and sixty-five.”

I nodded. “How many can I receive with up to four people?”

He paused for a second. “Four hundred and ninety-two. There are only another thirty-eight if you have five and twenty-seven if you have six. After that, most blessings require a minimum of between ten and thirty recipients.”

“I’ll take them.” I opened my purse.

* * *

“How are you enjoying the fish?” Isabelle asked later that evening.

We were in the dining room of the apartment the king had given her, Jeric, and Emily, sitting down one end of a table that was long enough to seat forty. “It’s good,” I said. “It makes me hate that Blackwood is so far from the sea.”

Jeric chuckled. “He’s not here to talk about fish, dear.”

Isabelle politely glared at her husband. “We do not mention business at the dinner table.”

“Maybe I just wanted company,” I said.

Emily began to giggle before stifling it.

Isabelle looked me in the eye, trying not to laugh. “If that were true, you wouldn’t have started inviting yourself in with the words 'I need to talk to you about something…oh, do I smell dinner I’m starving.’” Jeric and Emily laughed as Isabelle continued. “I’ve not known you for long, but I’m already quite sure that when you are planning something, you lead with it.”

“That’s fair, but I’m not here to talk about business. I’m here to ask a favour.”

“What do you need?” Jeric asked.

“I’ve bought a complete set of common and uncommon blessings, and I need you three to be place-fillers so I can gain the first 400 or so. I’ve also got 59 double-ups you can have.”

Emily and Isabelle began choking.

Jeric had wisely not put anything in his mouth while I was making the suggestion. “Is that why you needed the casino winnings?”

“Yeah—I told you that you would like what I was going to do with it.”

Jeric smacked his wife on the back, helping her dislodge whatever was caught in her throat. “How many do you need us to take?”

“Well, there are 87 that require two people, 59 that require three people, and 81 that require four people.”

Jeric nodded, rubbing his wife’s back, fighting to keep a straight face. “So Emily will receive 227 blessings.”

“You are forgetting the 59 double-ups I already have, and there might be a few more once the guild sees who is in the city and advertises around.” I turned and looked at Emily. Her jaw was so low that it nearly rested on the table. She stared at me, dumbfounded. “This isn’t an attempt to marry you.”

Jeric finally lost it. Deep belly laughter boomed throughout the dining hall.

+ 105 Endurance

+ 240 Constitution

+ 88 Intelligence

37

RECRUITMENT

Gaining 433 new attributes through blessings took ten days since the cleric also had to give them to Jeric’s family at the same time. That was ten days of lying in temples having clerics paint runes and sigils all over my skin. That was ten days where the headsman’s axe never landed. And every second of it was worth it. I had more health than a troll. I was a beast.

I felt incredible.

My endurance meant I didn’t get physically tired, and my constitution meant I always felt great. I needed only six hours of sleep each night, and I woke up feeling refreshed. I was now a morning person. There was no cruel world that had pulled me from my slumber, only a bright new day. It was so…weird.

My sleep wasn’t the only change. I was four inches taller and a solid six foot two. My skin was flawless. The couple of grey hairs and small lines around my eyes were gone, and my resting heart rate was nineteen beats per minute.

Those changes were amazing, but they were nothing compared to my new intelligence. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d broken down in tears several times.

I could now remember every detail of my parents’ and sister’s faces. The way their eyes creased differently when they laughed. I could remember the exact smell of my father’s aftershave as he prepared for work. I could remember my sister’s infectious giggle. Every vacation together was as fresh to me as if it had happened yesterday. Every moment we shared, every Christmas day, was with me now and forever.

That meant that every moment of the arena and the walk back to the village after the trolls was there too, but I didn’t care. The nightmares were worth it to have my family with me. I remembered so many things I had forgotten. I also realized I’d been such an ass to them when I hadn't needed to be.

I looked around the academy entrance to see if the clerk had returned and then opened my stats to look at them again.

Oh, baby, I was such a beast.

“Pardon me, sir.”

I dismissed my interface and turned to the clerk.

His uniform appeared as crisp as it had been before he left, and he still had that I-am-smarter-than-you look on his face that annoyed me.

“Did you find her?” I’d crossed the academy half a dozen times trying to track down Scholar Adoya before giving up and bribing this guy to do it for me.

“Yes, sir. She’s in the main lecture hall with the other senior scholars listening to the new debate on the solution to the Stagnation Dilemma. You will have to wait until after the debate to speak with her.”

“Why?”

“The debate is only for senior scholars and those with the Wiseman title. No one else may attend.”

I smiled and changed my display so the clerk could see my Wiseman title. “If you check now, you can see I fit that list.”

The clerk's eyes widened and the smarter-than-you look disappeared.

“You created an exploit?”

“I created the one they’re debating,” I said.

He started spluttering.

“Are you going to show me where this lecture hall is?”

He nodded too fast, attitude completely changed, and then hurriedly led me across campus.

The Academy of Law reminded me of Yale. The architecture had that grand feel designed to inspire you to greatness. I’d never been to the school myself, so everything I knew about it came from movies and documentaries, but I’d seen it so many times that I felt like I knew it.

The academy was part school, part research centre, from what I could gather, and its existence was what made the analyse ability I used on trolls, items, and people possible. It was the single greatest magical building in the entire kingdom, and its influence spread across all of it, not just the capital. It was like a house of scholars only far more powerful. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to select my attribute placement. In the past, scholars used to have to do this for you.

The guards at the lecture hall entrance waved me through, opening the door silently, letting me creep in.

More than eight hundred scholars were seated in the auditorium, and many of them wore robes similar to Ranic’s, in the same state of disrepair. Jeric’s father was standing on stage at the front of the room with half a dozen other scholars.

The scholar speaking was a small woman with that too-thin look I’d come to associate with their class. “I completely disagree with my opposition. There is no clear indication that this really is the solution to the Stagnation Dilemma. It may be a solution; however, until we see the results from using something so dangerous measured quantifiably, using this method again would be unwise.”

I started scanning the crowd looking for Scholar Adoya, blocking out what they were saying. A few minutes went by. Analysing this many people was not quick even if I ignored half the room. I finally found her at the very back, at the top of the raised seating area, hands folded over her stomach, taking a nap.

I crept up the stairs, trying not to draw attention to myself like I was a kid late to class. It didn’t work. Eric noticed me and waved. That caused more than half of the people in the room to turn.

I gave everyone a friendly smile and kept going.

Adoya was even smaller than the woman on the stage and even smaller than Quilly. She might have been at the very most four foot three. She was also old. Like, really old. Her face had the texture of dry clay and she was entirely bald.

The chair next to her was empty so I slid in.

She woke as I stepped past, eyeing me suspiciously. “What do you want?”

“What makes you think I want something?”

“If you were here for the lecture, you would be sitting in a chair closer to the front. If you were here because you were made to be here like me, then you would be a senior scholar. Since I know every senior scholar at the academy, that isn’t the case. Ergo, what do you want?”

Quilly was right. She was sharp.

“I’m told you are the foremost expert on the trapsmith class in the kingdom.”

“I am.”

“I’d like to know if you have passed through your third threshold?”

She snorted. “Boy, I haven’t the experience to reach my second. Why would I worry about my third?”

My excitement diminished. “I didn’t know that.”

She smiled. “I take it you have information that will allow me to pass through my third threshold and are hoping to sell it to me.”

“I do and I do.”

“Well, you are in luck. I might not be able to afford it, but the academy will pay you a small fortune for that information.”

“I’m not interested in money. I was hoping to hire your services with it.”

She shrugged. “I’m an old woman. I’ll be dead before I’m done paying off that debt. Take the money.”

I smiled. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. “What’s your constitution?”

“Why?”

“I have purchased a full set of blessings and there are 65 I can receive if I find another placeholder. They are yours if you work for me.”

The guild had already contacted an archer who wanted the ones that required six people, so with her filling the fifth spot, I could easily deliver on my promise. Giving the blessings away for free was a small cost I was happy to pay if it made me stronger.

“It won’t do me any good. Even 50 points in endurance and constitution will only buy me a few years. I might look younger than I do now, but my heart will give out. I’ve never put anything into strength, and at my age, they aren’t that helpful without it.”

“That’s still a few years.”

She nodded. “It is.”

Something occurred to me. “You said you don’t have the experience to reach your second threshold. Could you pass through it if you did?”

She chuckled. “I wouldn’t be a senior scholar if I couldn’t.”

“Good. Here is my proposition. I give you the method to pass through your third threshold and the blessings, even make you a retainer, and you take an oath to keep my secrets and come and work for me for a few years.”

“You aren’t very good at haggling, are you? That is the kind of offer that is too good to be true.”

“I’m in a hurry. The teleportation circle will link to my connection in a few days, and if you are to come with me, then I need to get you to agree now.”

“Why do you need me?”

“I think you can be helpful.”

“You need to do better than that.”

“Why I need you specifically is something I can’t explain without you taking an oath of secrecy. All I can say is that one of your old students suggested I gain your assistance.”

“Which student?”

“Quilly.”

“Did you make her take a similar oath?”

“Yes.”

“Did you offer her similar terms?”

“She’s my retainer, so they are similar but not as good.”

Adoya sighed. “Where would I be going?”

“Blackwood. It is the northeastern-most village in the kingdom.”

“So no opportunity for gaining experience is what you are saying?”

“I’ll purchase your yearly experience average annually.”

“I was joking. I’m a scholar. I gain experience when those I have taught gain experience. Being in your village won’t change that and the trapsmiths I would teach over the next few years will gain me far less than what you are offering in blessings.”

“Oh.”

She patted my arm gently. “It’s a nice offer, and if I was a couple of decades younger, I would even take you up on it. But I’m too old to leave. I’d rather spend my remaining days here with people I know and respect than cross the kingdom for a chance at a few more years.”

“I can respect that.”

I actually could. Who wanted to spend their last years away from the people they knew, working away with what little time they had left?

She chuckled. “But you are going to offer me more anyway.”

“Yes,” I said grinning. “Once I work out what I can give you.”

I fell silent, searching my brain for an answer. More than an hour went by and nothing occurred to me. The debate came to a close and everyone clapped. Then the scholars in the front row rushed forward to question the speakers.

Adoya chuckled. “Have you thought of anything?”

“No. You don’t seem to care about material wealth and that’s about all I’ve got to offer you. I considered offering you experience, but the amount you would need to pass through your third threshold would cripple my funds.”

She chuckled some more. “But I would accept the offer.”

Eric waved at me from across the room again before the swarm of scholars surrounded him.

I waved back.

Adoya frowned. “How do you know the royal scholar?”

“I created the exploit that they were debating.”

She turned and stared at me with new eyes. “You’re the farmer that received the crown’s mark?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

She shook her head. “Why didn’t you say?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

She scowled. “Didn’t think it was important! Serving you is serving the kingdom. Turning my back on you is equivalent to turning my back on our kingdom. The king does not make mistakes. If he gave you the crown’s mark, it means he has faith that you serve the people. I accept your offer, sir. Let it never be said that when Scholar Adoya was asked to serve her kingdom, she turned her back.”

I nodded, smiling, trying not to appear as ignorant as I was. The only thing going through my head was the thought that I needed to ask Jeric how important the crown’s mark was because right now, I had no idea, even after having read the book I was given on the subject.

My eyes travelled back to Eric.

He was probably a better person to talk to.

“I am ready to take this oath when you are,” Adoya said, standing up.

“Give me a few minutes. I need to talk with the royal scholar.”

She sat back down. “I will wait.”

I climbed out of the chair and made my way down. The crowd asking questions was now made up of less than twenty scholars. I eased my way through to Eric.

The resemblance between him and his son was uncanny. I still wasn’t used to seeing my best friend’s face on another man. It was the fact that they looked more like twins than father and son that was throwing me.

He smiled as I approached and politely cut off another scholar trying to ask him a question. “What can I do for you, Arnold?”

“I need five minutes of your time.”

“Is this another surprise?”

“No. I just need some information. Can we talk in private?”

Eric nodded and started walking away, raising his hand to stop anyone from following. He spoke a few words, and a bubble of magical energy appeared around us, cutting off the sound coming from outside it. “What do you need to know?”

“How important is the crown’s mark? I’ve spent the past hour trying to convince a scholar to work for me, offering a small fortune, without success. But when she found out I had the crown’s mark, she immediately accepted.”

He smiled. “She must be a patriot.”

“I don’t understand.”

His smile turned into a smirk, the same way Jeric’s did. “That’s understandable. The book we sent you on the mark wouldn’t cover this. You read it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then you understand that the only way to grow the mark is to do something that is a service to the kingdom outside the norm. What the book doesn’t explain is that many people view the mark as more than just a mark. They view it as a symbol of the kingdom. They view those who have it as a representative of the kingdom and its interests because those people are always looking for ways to significantly help the kingdom to grow their mark. Some people—patriots—take it a step further and view those who have the mark as a representative of the king. I can’t tell you who these people are, but when you meet them, they will try to help you because they believe helping you will help the kingdom.”

“Is there any truth to that? I mean, do people with the crown’s marks really help the kingdom?”

“Yes. The crown’s mark can only be given to a certain type of person. The type of person who hands over a fortune to undo the damage he has inadvertently caused to his village, the type of person who tries to help others even when he doesn't receive anything in return, the type of person who runs towards a dragon, not away from it. Now, I’m not saying all who receive the mark are loving and kind, but they are people who have the kingdom’s best interest at heart. That is why everyone who has ever received the mark has received more than a single level, and why each of them is given a small fortune. It is the king’s hope that these individuals will become a force of prosperity in the kingdom. And it is something that many understand and patriots try to assist.”

“That sounds like a lot of responsibility. You probably should have put that in the book.”

Eric chuckled. “It’s as much responsibility as you want to accept. If you feel uncomfortable using your association with the crown, that is up to you. No one is forcing you to accept help.”

+ 15 Endurance

+ 29 Constitution

+ 21 Intelligence

38

CONVERSATION

I climbed through the carriage door, picked up the book I’d left on the leather seat, and then sat down. The book was one of my new ones from the incarnate bookstore in Melgrim. It told the history of an Earth and a technological empire that spanned the entire Milky Way Galaxy. Even with the author quoting what sounded like The Prime Directive at the beginning and not going into specifics about technology and ideology, it was an absolutely fascinating read.

There was so much I still needed to learn, but we were three days out from Blackwood, and I’d already made my way through most of the collection of books I’d bought at the adventurers’ guild. The improvement to my memory made learning significantly easier. Even if I didn’t understand something straightaway, I could contemplate what I had read rather than having to reread it. So I’d allowed myself a break, letting myself read solely for curiosity’s sake.

The carriage door opened and Emily climbed in, her delicate perfume preceding her. “I hope you don’t mind, but I asked Adoya to travel with my parents. I wanted to speak to you alone.”

“It’s fine,” I said, closing the book.

Emily shut the door and tried to get comfortable, folding her dress under herself so it didn’t wrinkle. A few moments passed, and a call came that everything was ready. The carriage started moving. The sound of horse hooves on cobblestones and moving wheels drowned out the outside world leaving us alone.

Emily folded her hands on her lap and put on what I had come to think of as her noble face. It was a serious expression that made you forget her age and think of her as an adult. The explosion of attributes she’d received had changed her as much as it had me, making her more vibrant and several inches taller, a hair less than six feet. You couldn’t look at her now without thinking fit and healthy and there was a new intensity to her gaze that hadn’t been there before.

She finished straightening the ruffles in her dress and then looked me in the eye. “I am very cross with you,” she said, her tone hurt.

“Okay,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

“You made my father cap his level.”

I shook my head in complete disagreement. “No, he did that himself. I didn’t even know that it was possible, remember?”

“If you had not given him the idea to purchase my title, he would never have had the chance.”

My left eyebrow rose. “By that logic, you should blame the regent. If that bitch was willing to treat us fairly I never would have had to make the suggestion.”

She scowled. “I know that.”

“But it’s still my fault.”

She nodded, lips pressed together.

“Is that the only thing you’re cross with me about?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” I hadn’t really spoken with Emily since she’d cornered me in the king’s palace. I’d basically been avoiding her so that she didn’t get the wrong idea and think I was trying to marry her. In the past, I would have picked up my book and gone back to reading. However, now that my charisma was so high, I instinctively started talking. I was a freaking extrovert. “How do you like being a lord?”

Her face lost all emotion. “I find it satisfying.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Not anymore. I have decided that I like the idea of living in Blackwood. I will have freedom and access to experience to grow my class that doesn’t involve going to balls and garden parties every other day.”

“You seriously used to do that every other day?”

Emily nodded. “I’m told you have the services of a master farming scholar and that he allowed you to take over the construction of his house of scholars when he learned you could have it constructed by the royal builders.”

“He didn’t allow so much as write me a strongly worded letter that I was going to be the owner of his house of scholars whether I wanted to be or not.”

“Is that so?” She paused, seeming to think over her next words. “In that case, I would like to know what your plans are for my village.”

I shrugged, trying to hide my discomfort. This whole conversation felt weird. “I’m just trying to get through my thresholds and obtain a class that doesn’t involve farming. If you want to know how that will happen, you will have to talk to Master Scholar Ranic. I’m just a bystander.”

She took a breath, paused again, and then shook her head. “Let me clarify. I know how you gained so many levels so quickly and what you plan to do about the giant. So I will ask you again. What is your plan for my village?”

I grinned. “Oh, you mean those plans…I’m going to expand. I’m going to see if my methods work on a larger scale.”

She took a deep breath and pressed her lips together. “That is dangerous.”

“I’m trying to fix that. I know a lot more about monsters than I did a few months ago and I’m currently rethinking my entire approach.”

“Why?”

“My understanding was wrong. I thought the monsters around the village were normal monsters, but they’re not. They’re resistant to the village’s aura that is supposed to keep monstrosities from coming anywhere near the village border. Luckily this resistance is rare; only about one in a thousand monsters have it. So when my barns finish culling these monsters around Blackwood, there won’t be any replacements for years.”

She frowned. “Do you plan to move your operation to another village when that happens?”

“If I can discover how to do so safely, I intend to do so before that happens.”

The carriage hit a pothole and we both grabbed our seats to steady ourselves. Damn potholes. For at least the twentieth time since starting the journey back to Blackwood, I wished I'd have been a car guy. With my new memory, I would have been able to teach them how to build decent suspension. I could remember what suspension looked like, but I had no idea how it worked.

“You don’t like Blackwood, do you, Arnold?”

The uneasy feeling grew as I returned my focus to Emily. What was the point of this conversation? “Blackwood is nice, but I’m used to living in cities like the capital. It’s where I grew up. It’s where I feel at home.”

“That is unfortunate. What do you plan to do with Blackwood when you leave?”

“What do you mean?”

“You own the majority of the village. What will become of it when you depart?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“You need to. Because of what you’ve done, my entire future—and likely my children’s and grandchildren’s future—rests on your decision.”

“No pressure.”

“It is a lot of pressure.”

“It’s a figure of speech.”

She smirked.

It finally clicked. Damn, I was slow sometimes. “You’re messing with me.”

The smirk grew. “How dare you, sir. I am a lord and lords do not mess with people. We are serious, responsible individuals.”

I started chuckling. “Uh-huh…and how much of what you’ve just said was bull?”

She shrugged. “You’re smart. I’m sure you will work it out.”

“So, what did you really want to talk about?”

Her shoulders relaxed. “I wanted to thank you for everything…I wanted to say it properly, but it has taken me a while to find the right words. I don’t know what my father has told you, but I’ve always wanted to remain a noble. I can remember sitting on his lap as a child listening to him explain how he was trying to help Blackwood. Even then, I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be helpful. Now thanks to you, I can be everything I always wanted to be. So thank you for helping my father gain the experience he gave me. And thank you for convincing him to have the king give me the title of lord.”

I wanted to be cheeky and say that her mother would be proud, but I had a feeling she might just feel comfortable enough to kick me if I did. “You’re welcome.”

She laughed. “Also, thank you for the blessings. Thank you for the help with my song. Thank you for finding a master farming scholar and convincing him to run a house of scholars in Blackwood. Have I missed anything?”

I chuckled. “I helped remove the stagnation debuff the village was under.”

“Oh, thank you for that too.”

“I also didn’t ask your father to secretly betroth us without telling you.”

“Oh, yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.” She started giggling. “Oh, and thank you for giving my father the exploit.”

“Actually, you don’t have to thank me for that one.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

“It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I didn’t know I created it until he told me.”

Her eyes widened. “He didn’t say that. Is that true?”

“Yeah, I was trying to get free land and accidentally stumbled upon it.”

Her giggles turned into full-blown laughter. “You mean this all happened because you were trying to save a few crowns?”

That was actually a pretty funny way of summing up the situation. I found myself laughing uncontrollably. Emily joined in. Almost a minute passed before either of us could regain our composure.

Emily smiled as she wiped tears from her eyes. “I have to ask. Why are you wearing that?”

“What’s wrong with my overalls?”

“Well, they look ridiculous while travelling, but I was referring to the hat.”

My eyes travelled upwards to where the brim of the straw hat poked out above my forehead. “This is literally the most comfortable clothing I have ever worn. And despite what you might have heard, I’m a simple guy. If it’s comfortable, I’ll wear it.”

Emily shook her head. “Why do you even have farmer’s overalls? My father says you hate farming.”

“I purchased an ability called hunter’s gambit while in Melgrim. And a bunch of items to increase my movement speed so I could lure the you-know-what to you-know-where if it became necessary. I was told that falling over while running twice as fast as a galloping horse could kill me and the overalls should help me survive that. Now that my constitution is so high, that shouldn’t be a problem. But it’s still better to be safe than sorry.”

“So is that why you purchased all those blessings?”

“No, I’ve just wanted them ever since I heard about them.”

She giggled. “That is probably the most normal answer I’ve ever heard from you.”

My eyebrows rose. “Why’s that funny?”

“Well, you are sort of bizarre. I mean, every conversation I’ve ever had about you has been anything but normal. They almost always involve you doing something crazy. I don’t even know how long you have been in Blackwood because that’s too droll for a conversation about you. It’s maddening. You seem to have numerous accomplishments in only a short amount of time and many of them seem to occur in the same week.”

I snorted. “If you want to know how long I’ve been in Blackwood, you will have to give me a minute to think about it. I’ve got perfect recall, but my agility is so far behind that it can take me a while to go through everything.”

I began to think back, starting from when I came out of the fast travelling haze. There was getting used to the village and going into the forest. I recalled the feeling of the puma’s claws cutting into my leg and pushed on to the next phase. There was roughly six months, during which I was learning to read and write before I discovered the passage about the goblin in the farmer’s guide book. Then there was the time it took to get everything in order to start. The time it took to get my first success with the fox and my almost complete failure with the first trolls. Then there was the recovery and second attempt at making my trap system work before the giant arrived, which was ten weeks ago.

Emily watched me, waiting for my answer.

“About a year and a half, but it feels so much shorter than that. And that’s not just the higher intelligence talking. It really doesn’t feel that long.” I shook my head, thinking about everything that had happened. “You know, if your father had asked me a year ago where I would be today, I never would have guessed I could accomplish this much. I mean, between my level, the experience I have stored up, the blessings, titles, marks, and my new abilities…it’s crazy.”

“It is…speaking of abilities, how did you gain the socialite ability?”

She was smiling sweetly—too sweetly.

“I’m sure your mother will tell you when you’re older.”

39

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

We arrived at Blackwood late in the afternoon. Adoya was too drained from travelling to meet everyone, so I held off the introductions for a day. The regent’s summons was as helpful as it was a hindrance, letting me surround myself with even more experts, while splitting my focus and wasting my time. The reservoir was ahead of schedule, but everything else was lagging behind. That was why it was important to get everyone acquainted as fast as possible before we focused on the next step. Having a group with broader capabilities and more skills didn’t matter if we couldn’t focus those skills where they were needed.

Everyone sat crammed together around Jeric’s parlour table. Technically, it was Emily’s house and table now, but I wasn’t used to thinking about it that way.

“Okay, I think introductions are in order as we have a few new faces,” I said, pointing across the table. “This is Quilly, my new retainer and an academy-accredited trapsmith, and this is her teacher, Scholar Adoya, my other new retainer, who specialises in trapsmiths.”

Adoya looked a little younger with her new attributes, but not much. She was still bald and she tired easily.

Ranic cleared his throat, hostilely eyeing the other scholar. “Why is she here?”

Salem hissed his support from where he sat beside him. He’d somehow gained a few inches in height and a couple of extra pounds while I was gone. Last night, he’d tracked me down to inform me that he was entirely ready to deal with my stupid again. However, he was still going to live with Ranic.

“You told me that the information I gave you could also be given to a scholar who studied trapsmiths, so I went to the academy before we left, acquired her services, and had her swear an oath similar to yours.”

Ranic scowled. “She’s only level 43. Couldn’t you find someone a little more experienced and not past their prime?”

Adoya returned Ranic’s scowl. She was the smallest person in the room by far—not that you could tell by the look she was giving Ranic. “My level has nothing to do with my capabilities. I am the foremost expert on trapsmiths and their art in the kingdom.”

Ranic rolled his eyes childishly. “Your level would suggest otherwise.”

She snorted. “Oh, please. There are more farmers in this luck-forsaken village than there are trapsmiths in the kingdom. The only reason you are a higher level is that you chose ease of experience over substance and challenge.”

The blood rushed to Ranic’s face. “Now, listen here, young lady. My specialisation might have it easy when it comes to experience, but we stand on the shoulders of giants. New discoveries are so rare that I am the only one to pass through the third threshold in a decade, unlike some specialisations which have barely scratched the surface.”

“Barely scratched the surface. How dare you.” Adoya turned her scowl on me. “I will not work with this buffoon.”

I stared at the two of them, unable to understand their unexpected hostility and unsure how to react.

Quilly came to the rescue. “Even if that buffoon has come up with a way to trap a giant?”

Adoya scoffed. “You can’t trap a giant.”

“Actually, I now believe you can,” Quilly said.

Adoya’s scowl softened. “You’re serious? I thought Arnold was joking about that. It sounded utterly absurd.”

“He wasn’t.”

She turned and stared at me, baffled. “You are actually going to try.”

I nodded.

“In that case, I’m listening.”

I turned to Emily. “Before we go any further, I believe you all need to hear from our new resident lord. Emily, I know that technically your mother is administrating in your place until you are of age, but any serious mistake will fall back on you. So you might lose your title. Are you okay with this plan?”

Emily pursed her lips and took a slow deep breath and then gave me a small smile. She was far more comfortable with me since our talk. “Is the whole betrothal option off the table? Because that’s a lot easier to agree to. I mean, you’re planning to lure a giant to the village and kill it. But you’re also planning for that to fail, so you’re planning to leave it trapped in what is essentially a big hole. It’s insane.”

Jeric and his wife each gave me a look which said, this is your plan, you handle her.

I sighed. “I’ll grant you that it is insane. It would have been better to abandon the village.”

Emily eyed the others nervously. “From what I understand, you can still abandon the village. I mean there are thousands of members of different guilds in Blackwood working on your various projects which will make that harder, but the option is still there. I’m not saying that I want you to take this course of action. I’m just saying that the path is open.”

Damn. If I'd been as smart as her at her age, my team would have gone pro.

“Believe me, I have considered that option. But if we abandon the village, it will be more than a year before the adventurers’ guild comes and kills the giant. And there is no guarantee it won’t destroy the village to consume its magical nexus even if it’s empty. If that happens, I’ll be ruined. The village will be ruined. Also, the Bank of Weldon will be ruined, along with much of the savings of those who invested in that bank. At this point, I only see one way to stop that from happening. We kill the giant, or failing that, trap it. Sadly, we’ve gone too far to abandon the village without consequences.”

Emily turned to her father. “You were okay with this?”

I was sure they had had this conversation before, but I think Emily was trying to see if he changed his position now that the conversation wasn’t private. She was doing the same thing to her father as I was doing to her.

Jeric shrugged. “I was okay with Arnold luring monsters to his property to develop a new trapping method for gaining farmer experience and protecting a village. All this chaos”—he waved his hand around the room in no particular direction—“sort of just happened. I’m not okay with it. But it is necessary. And we are limiting the risks.”

I nodded. “Exactly, I will be the only one who’s in danger. No one else needs to be in the village when I begin to lure the giant’s minions here to attract its attention.” Every eye in the room turned to me.

Ranic cleared his throat. “Actually, that’s not entirely true, Arnold. Quilly has pointed out that you will still need help to set up the traps, despite your designs being mostly trigger-based. Even with months to prepare, the 30 barns under construction along the eastern border are too much work for one person to handle alone.”

I frowned.

Ranic continued. “I’ve purchased the heritage seed you need for passing through your threshold and found some capable individuals in the village who I believe have what it takes to help you farm the way you do. So at most, five people should be at risk.”

“Six,” Quilly said. “I need to be on hand in case something goes wrong with the main trap.”

“Six,” Ranic corrected.

“Seven,” Salem announced.

Everyone jumped.

Salem gave me a smug look. “What? It’s about time I made myself known. Everyone in this room has taken an oath of secrecy or has otherwise proved they can be trusted. And I grow tired of only having the two of you to talk to.”

Emily stared at Salem the hardest. “Your cat is talking.”

Salem rolled his eyes. “I am a familiar, Your Lordship. Let me explain from the beginning. If I let Arnold do it, you’ll never get a clear understanding.”

* * *

It took almost an hour for everyone to calm down after Salem’s announcement. The questions continued to pour forth from those seated at the table until everyone’s reserves were empty. Silence now filled the room. I sensed almost everyone was re-evaluating me and my accomplishments, handing them over to Salem.

I wasn’t upset by Salem’s distraction. It gave me a chance to work Ranic’s new information into the plan.

I cleared my throat. “Now that we are all acquainted and have gotten over our surprise, I think it’s important that we start to discuss what needs to be done going forward. There are six objectives that we need to complete for this plan to be successful. The first two objectives are completing the construction on the reservoir trap and the new barns.”

Isabelle cleared her throat. “I understand why you need to complete the reservoir, but why do you need that many barns? They can’t harm the giant from what my husband has told me and the number seems excessive.”

“Redundancy, mainly,” I said. “The first time the giant showed up, it was because it followed its minion out of the forest. We need to control the giant’s arrival, so I will be baiting the forest the way I have in the past. The downside to this method is that it will attract its minions—and we need them to be dead for the reservoir trap to be effective. If one of the minions remains alive and proceeds ahead of the giant, they might fall into the reservoir trap, exposing it and making it useless. So the barns need to be effective and numerous enough to remove that threat. That’s why there are so many.”

Isabelle nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Moving on,” I said, checking I had everyone’s attention. “The third objective is for Quilly and Adoya. They need to upgrade my existing plans for the barns. We need them to be as lethal as possible, and I’ve reached the limit of what I’m capable of, so you two will have to take it from here.”

The two women nodded and then smiled at each other excitedly.

“The fourth objective is recruiting help. We can’t do this by ourselves. There is too much work, even with outside contractors doing most of the construction. We need to bring some of the villagers in on this. They are going to hesitate, but I’m hoping Jeric, Isabelle, and Emily’s support will convince them.”

“I can manage that objective,” Jeric said. “I’ve already made a list of names. I also think it won’t be as difficult as you anticipate, so long as you listen to my advice.”

“Good. The fifth objective is training my new helpers. Baiting monsters is dangerous. I’m not taking people in blind. Quilly and Adoya, this is also going to be part of your responsibility.”

“Easy,” Adoya said.

“The last objective is camouflage. We’ve got thousands of contractors working on this project and others. Once we start working, they might become suspicious, and we don’t have the luxury of waiting until after they’ve gone to start. Putting the giant aside, my barn trap idea is worth several fortunes and I don’t want to lose that if I don’t have to. Ranic, you’ve done a brilliant job of avoiding awkward questions as to why the reservoir is shaped the way it is. I need you to keep it up.”

Ranic chuckled, turned to me, and changed his expression, becoming incredibly bug-eyed. It was one step further than I had seen in the past. “I never thought being addled for a decade would come in handy, but whenever I make this face, everyone just assumes I’m nuts. The fact that you weren’t here made it work thus far, but I’m not sure how much it will help now you are back. To be honest, Jeric is more suited to fulfil this task going forward.”

Jeric frowned. “Perhaps if we emphasise that Arnold is incarnate and that the changes he wishes to make come from his understanding of farming from his world mixed with eccentricities. It’s plausible that it might be enough to stop them digging for further information.”

Isabelle shook her head. “If they ask Arnold a few questions, they will realise he knows nothing about farming. You are better off saying it’s a cultural difference.”

“I don’t care how we lie,” I said. “It just has to be believable. Can you three work together and come up with something?”

They nodded.

Emily raised her hand, waiting for an opening. “Why don’t any of your objectives have anything to do with what you will do when the giant shows up?”

“Because those objectives are only possible if we succeed with these.”

* * *

As I finished explaining what we planned to do and why we needed their help, awkward silence greeted me. Another day had passed. Brek, his eight carpenters, Ava, Quinn, and their two oldest children, Kiln, and the six farmers that Ranic had found all stared at me across the parlour table, lost for words.

In their defence, I had just told them what I had really been up to for the past year and what we planned to do next. It was perfectly normal for them to be lost for words.

The seconds ticked by.

I cleared my throat. “Somebody say something.”

I’d hired the services of a young oath binder for the next year and had him relocate to Blackwood, so they had all taken an oath of secrecy after I’d paid them each a month’s wages. Even if they all walked out the door infuriated, I wasn’t worried about them saying anything.

Brek’s frown deepened and he crossed his arms over his potbelly. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but words didn’t come out. Finally, he managed to speak. “So you didn’t have me build a sex dungeon?” The confusion was evident in his voice and posture.

Ava snorted. “Of course you built a sex dungeon. Arnold’s clearly into some really freaky dangerous shit.”

Her husband cleared his throat. “Dear, don’t swear in front of the children.”

She blushed. “Sorry, love. He’s clearly into some really freaky stuff. Better?”

“Much.”

I sighed. “It’s not a sex dungeon. It’s a safe room.”

“Most proper sex dungeons are,” Ava countered.

Her husband turned a slight shade of red.

I shook my head. “Does anyone have anything to say about what I just told you?”

“Well, I can see why you made us take the oath now,” Kiln said.

There was a murmur of agreement from the room.

“Are there any objections then?”

Kiln shrugged. “I know I don’t speak for the farmers, but us craftsmen are more than willing to help you set up your murder barns for triple the base rate for our work, as long as we’re actually out of here when the giant arrives.”

The other craftsmen nodded their agreement.

I turned to the farmers. “What about you?”

Lenlin stepped forward. “For 25% of the experience you’ve been talking about, a place as a retainer, and all the other benefits you’ve offered, I’m perfectly willing to become your man and take that risk.”

“Well, I’m not,” Roff said. “I like you, Arnold, but I’m not taking on a damn troll even if it gets me to 100. I’ll see myself out.”

Two other farmers murmured their agreement and followed him to the parlour door.

The two who stayed were Manson and Pel, a pair of 15-year-olds who had run away from home together. Their parents were all assholes who had taken all their experience from them. They were barely level two, but they’d been smitten with each other for as long as anyone could remember and did everything together, including barely surviving. They were desperate enough to try. They just nodded that they were in.

“Alright, in that case, I’ll get the rest of the team and you can all learn what this is going to involve together.”

* * *

The next afternoon, I was setting up the parlour for what would be our first day of lessons on constructing and running trap barns when Jeric walked in and sat down at the table. He pulled out a book, pen, and inkwell and then leaned back eyeing me patiently.

I ignored him for a few minutes finding other tasks to do, but eventually ran out of jobs. “Alright, what do you want?”

Jeric grinned. “You are down one farmer and it just so happens that I possess that class. So, I figured I should volunteer. And before you complain, I’ve talked it over with Adoya and she believes my status as a noble will not interfere now that my level has been capped.”

I opened my mouth to argue but stopped before the words came out and considered his offer. He was a level 18 noble. He had quite a few attribute points thanks to blessings and his class, and he was well educated. Compared to the other volunteers, his chance of survival was significantly better. Not only that, he was competent. Between him, Quilly, Adoya, and I, the others might survive. “Fine.”

Jeric cleared his throat. “Just to be clear, I want the same cut of the experience as the others.”

I raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

“Ranic said that there is a series of special promotions that gives farming knowledge. Gaining these promotions should significantly improve my understanding of farming and my effectiveness as an administrator when the farm grows.”

Okay, that made sense. “At least you don’t have to wait to get through your thresholds like the others?”

Jeric nodded. “Speaking of thresholds, Ranic is confident that he can teach the others how to produce a perfect crop within a few months.”

“Isn’t that extremely hard? I thought the failure rate was like, 90%, and that is for skilled farmers.”

“I said the same, but there is a method he’s read about that uses your new mark which should facilitate the process. I say should because he wants to use your new farmhands as test subjects and isn’t entirely certain how he will make it work. He has a longterm goal to create a system that lets him push a batch of farmers through their first threshold each month. He believes if he can perfect the system, your farm will become a training centre for farmers throughout the northern region which should help offset some of the costs of establishing it.”

I laughed, excited by a new potential source of revenue. “Do you get the feeling Ranic enjoys our arrangement a little bit too much?”

Jeric chuckled. “You are everything that old man has ever looked for. If you sent him away now, he’d stab you like a crazed, jilted lover.”

“You could have just said yes.”

Jeric’s smiled. “I could have.”

The parlour doors opened and Quilly walked into the room, followed by the farmhands.

Lenlin moved through the room curiously. He was a wide guy in his early twenties and was as much muscle as fat. He had broad shoulders and a short cut beard of black hair. It was clear that he didn’t spend much time indoors—or in manors—by the way he felt the need to touch everything.

Manson followed behind. His horse-shaped face took in every detail of the room around him. His body was all wire and little substance from poor diet, but his eyes didn’t have the glaze that Lenlin’s did. He was sharper than you would expect from someone his age and almost as tall as I now was.

Pel, his girlfriend, was about as different from Manson as anyone could get. She had a short stocky frame, thick limbs, and a big barrel chest. Neither she nor Manson was what you would call pretty. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when they shared a look, you could see their attraction to each other, even if you couldn’t understand it.

I pointed to the seats around the table and waited for them to take their places.

“Okay, before we start, I just want to make sure you all know how to read, write, and do basic mathematics. I have to make sure that if I put a set of instructions in front of you that you will all be able to follow them.”

Pel cleared her throat as the other two nodded their heads. “I was the top of our class.” She had a rough, husky voice, something you would only expect to hear in a heavy smoker, not a teenager.

“That’s respectable. From now on, you will be spending each morning developing your knowledge of traps and monsters under the supervision of Scholar Adoya, Nobleman Jeric, or myself. Quilly will instruct you in practical matters.” I’d used a similar training regime with my team back home, having everyone do theory first and then practical application afterward, except we started in the early afternoon not in the morning.

Jeric looked up sharply when I offered his assistance. “What?”

I grinned. “You said you wanted to help. Right now, this is what I need you to do.”

Jeric snorted. “You realise I’m also helping with the organisation of thousands of contract workers?”

“Fine. Get Salem to cover for you. He’s actually very good at teaching, but don’t tell him I said that.”

Lenlin scowled. “You want the talking cat to teach us?”

“He’s a familiar,” Manson said, “or weren’t you listening last night?”

Lenlin frowned. “Really?”

Alarm bells went off in my head. I had to address this little problem before it went any further. “Lenlin, you are now my retainer. I expect you to be competent and aware of your surroundings. That comment you just made shows you weren’t paying attention and is your first strike and you only get three before you are gone. And by gone, I mean you are out of the group involved in trapping monsters, so no extra experience. I want that to be the last time you don’t pay attention to anything said in this room.”

Lenlin made a face. “That’s going to be hard, boss. I get distracted easily.”

I looked the guy in the eye, holding his gaze, trying to get my point across. “Lenlin, you are going to be learning how to bait and trap monsters, when to trigger traps and when not to. You are going to be learning how to survive a confrontation with a troll. If you become distracted and forget how something works…you die. If you end up in a situation that we talk about and you don’t remember what to do…you die. The purpose of these classes is to stop you from dying. Because if you die, then you leave the village open to a monster attack.”

Lenlin frowned, confused. “Really?”

“Yes.”

Quilly stood up and ran her hand through her frizzy blonde hair. “Listen, you bumpkins. The traps you will be learning to use and be around daily are nothing like what you are used to. These aren’t snares or a leg trap. These are designed to kill ogres and trolls. They will turn a pack of wolves into chunks of furry flesh. If you accidentally trigger one or are caught by one, you will die. If you trigger one the wrong way, you might throw an ogre towards you instead of away. If you can’t pay attention during a crisis, something will sneak up on you and eat you. Do you understand?”

Everyone nodded their heads.

“Good; now today we are going to talk about some of what the automated barns will have in them when they are done and how they will be assembled. We’ve only got a couple of months to teach you how to safely put everything together and maintain them, so you all need to be paying attention.”

* * *

“Quit complaining,” Salem said. “It’s not like you have to cut a field. You’re only planting some squash.”

“I have a right to complain,” I said, putting the hoe down. “This makes no sense.”

We were on the west side of Blackwood at one of the farms I’d bought through the crown when they issued the abandonment order. We were away from the other houses on one of the few remaining properties that could be considered remote. I now technically owned the entire east and south sides of the village, so I could have cut my field anywhere, but this farm was the only one not in view of the tower guards and had no nearby neighbours, allowing Salem and I to talk.

“It makes complete sense,” Salem said, condescendingly. “You know you need to keep your farm active.”

I lost it, frustration bubbling over. “What part of planting out a single field of squash to maintain the active status of a farm with more than 14,000 fields makes sense to you? This one field is supposed to keep the vast majority of the village active. People were literally waiting for me to get back and plant this field before selling their properties so their wells won’t dry up. It’s absurd.”

Salem facepalmed before glaring at me. “It’s not the system's fault you haven’t passed through your first threshold. Of course it doesn’t make sense that 14,000 fields are about to be activated by planting a single field. This problem is unique to you. Usually, you would be an advanced farm manager, and dozens or hundreds of your farmhands would perform this action for you, but you skipped several vital steps in the process, so the absurdity of your current situation is your own creation. And those farmers waiting for you to return was them following a prudent and wise course of action.”

“I know that. I understand that. But sometimes this world is so absurd I can’t accept it. You don’t appreciate how hard this is for me.”

Salem shook his head. “Arnold, sometimes I think you are your own worst enemy. You spend so much time trying to fit this world into the context of your own that it would be simpler to disregard your previous life and learn everything about this one from scratch.”

“You are probably right,” I said slowly, shoulders slumping. “Starting over would be easier. But I didn’t hate my life before coming here. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad either. I miss it. And I can’t let it fade into obscurity. If I forget my past, no one is going to remember it for me. There is no one in this universe that has tasted my mom’s chicken pot pie or heard one of my dad’s lame jokes. I’m a linchpin holding together the history of my world and yours. So I’m sorry if viewing your world through mine causes me a little cognitive dissonance and irritability, but I’m not strong enough to live without my history.”

Salem solemnly bowed his head to me and then met my gaze. “That might have been a beautiful moment if I didn’t realise you were making most of it up to procrastinate your way out of farming.” He raised his paw and pointed to the ground next to me. “You missed a spot.”

* * *

Adoya, Quilly, Salem, and I sat around the parlour table staring at the schematics Quilly was designing. We had been at this for days, trying to figure out the best combination of death and destruction. Hamlin was becoming a little flustered over the parlour being used as a meeting place and lecture hall, but he was the only one. Jeric and his family understood the need for us constantly using their quiet room and didn’t seem to mind so long as we were all gone by dinner time.

“The trapdoor at the entrance needs to be larger,” Salem said. “Your central pivot point makes the trapdoor more useful, but it also makes it easier for a troll or ogre to try and catch a handhold as they fall.”

Quilly frowned. “It’s more than fucking large enough for one to fall through.”

“You are thinking too small,” I said, backing up Salem. “I’ve literally had three cyclopes walk into my barn at the same time. Salem’s right. With this design, they would be close enough to the edge to catch a handhold.”

“Try to think of the barn entrance like a city gate,” Adoya said. “The opening will look like a weak point and funnel the beasts to where you want them to go allowing you to control their approach.”

Quilly nodded, making a few light marks on the page with her pencil before making an additional note in her notebook. “What if I add a second and third trapdoor here and here? It would funnel them straight through a killing ground in the centre—here.”

“That would increase the construction cost,” Adoya said, “but it would make the other traps significantly more effective against large targets persistent enough to get past the first trapdoor.”

“How much more effective?” I asked.

The redesign of my automated barns was teaching me exactly how much of an amateur I was compared to the two women. I’d thought I was Rambo with everything I had thrown into my automated barn designs. They were showing me that Rambo was an amateur.

Quilly shrugged. “It depends on how they get past the first trapdoor.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if they physically see the first trapdoor before it activates, they might jump over it and notice the others on the sides. If that happens, they will walk down the middle and trigger the swinging axes. But if they don’t notice the trapdoor until something falls in, then they might think the middle of the barn is dangerous and try to use the sides getting caught by the second trapdoors.”

“Either way, we can almost guarantee a second kill,” Adoya said.

“Add them,” I said. “The experience from a second kill is worth significantly more than the cost of building them, and it provides another layer of defence for me and my people if we have to run through one of these to get away from something.”

Quilly made a note. “What’s next?”

* * *

Salem and I were about ten miles from the village's border, deep in The Wild Woods. Bird songs and the buzzing of insects filled the forest around us. Without all my speed enhancements, Salem would never have considered bringing me this far in, but I could now outrun almost anything that would pose a threat. I crouched, staring at the giant’s footprint. It was nearly six feet long.

“You’re sure this is less than a day old?” I whispered.

“It was not here when I checked yesterday,” Salem replied. “And it is the first time that I have found tracks this close to the village. Two weeks ago, its wandering only brought it within twelve miles.”

I blinked, surprised and confused by his statement. “You just said miles.”

Salem shrugged, looking away into the forest. “A slip of the tongue.”

I scowled at the blatant lie. “No, it wasn’t.

“I assure you it was.” His tone was too smooth and easygoing.

“Liar.”

He turned and glared at me. “How dare you.”

I glared right back. “Don’t play the victim. I’ve never explained to you how far a mile is. And I have the memory to know that, remember. What the hell is going on, Salem?”

Salem sighed, looking visibly defeated which was a much bigger reaction than my comment deserved. “If you must know, since you acquired that insufferable crown’s mark, our bond has grown significantly stronger, far stronger than it should ever be with you carrying my mark for such a short amount of time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it is nearly as strong as the bond I shared with my previous companion. I now grow stronger with you, and I get glimpses of your mind, learning information like your stupid measurement system.”

I put the whole mindreading thing aside because I knew he couldn’t control it from what I’d read, so there was no point making a fuss about it. “Is that why you’re bigger? I thought you were just getting fat.”

Salem rolled his eyes. “No, you didn’t, and yes, when you received the blessings in the capital, I did as well. I also receive the bonuses from your marks and titles, but unlike the blessings, those will vanish if you give my mark to another.”

“Wait, your last master was like a super-rich and powerful wizard. Did you double up on blessings? That’s supposed to be impossible.”

Salem smiled smugly. “Impossible for a human, perhaps, but not for my kind.”

“That’s not fair!” I tried not to sound like I was whining. “Is there a limit?”

Salem shrugged. “There is. Obviously I can’t receive blessings from the same companion twice. Your weakness, not mine. And usually, it takes at least a decade for the bond to grow strong enough with a new wizard companion for a familiar to be able to receive them, or so I have heard from other familiars. I honestly thought this depth of the bond would be impossible with you. It is hard enough to achieve with a wizard.”

“Are we like, best friends now?”

“No.”

“Oh, thank goodness. I didn’t want to have to fake that.”

I grinned, showing the asshole I was joking.

Salem chose to ignore me. “Can we get back to the giant matter?”

“I have one more question. Did you get my attribute increases and access to my farmer class?”

“Thankfully, no. Our bond isn’t strong enough to give me that which you received before the bond strengthened.”

I grinned, excited. “What about after I get through my threshold? Will you get access to it then?”

“It is possible.”

My grin grew wider. “Don’t worry, Salem, I promise I’ll make sure Ranic teaches you how to grow turnips. It wouldn’t be right if you were a farmer who didn’t know how to grow turnips.”

“No, it wouldn’t. Then I would be no better than you. Now, can you try to focus? We are quite literally in one of the most dangerous places in the kingdom.”

“Sure, so it took the giant two weeks to move two miles closer. At that rate, it would take ten weeks for it to reach the village, but giants don’t increase their territory that way. They do it based on their level, and at higher levels it takes them longer to increase that level, so we’ve probably got closer to three or four months, depending on what it can find to eat. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“No, we don’t. I’ve noticed an influx of larger predators. And the number of trolls and ogres has increased tenfold in the time you were gone.”

I paused for a few seconds going back over everything I had read in the past month, looking for a reason. “Damn it. The giant’s aura is weakening the aura projected by the village to keep those monsters away. Its growth rate could change sporadically. The only way we will be able to keep track of it is by how close it comes to the village.”

“I came to the same conclusion. I believe I should—”

Something big roared in the distance. It was less than a mile away.

Salem and I looked at each other, and as one we turned and started heading back towards the village at a run.

40

NEW INVESTMENTS

Wind tugged at the bandana, pulling it tight against my mouth. My boots of speed raced across the granite-paved road that the construction guild had finished laying last week. It was about a foot higher than the land around it, so it wouldn’t get bogged down and flooded by heavy rain. I was on my third lap of the village, doing my morning run in preparation for the giant, moving at around sixty-five miles an hour, when a worker on the side of the road began waving me down several hundred yards ahead.

I carefully began to slow. I’d learned I couldn’t do so quickly. Just because I could somehow move this fast, that didn’t mean I had the strength to safely stop my momentum in a few yards.

Running at this sort of pace was just nuts.

It had already taken me weeks of practice to build up to my current speed over smooth, even ground, and I still hadn’t reached my maximum. It would take me a few more months to reach it, and I was already eating like an Olympic athlete to deal with all the calories I was burning. It was like the universe was laughing at me. I’d spent months running and watching what I eat, trying to lose the weight the previous owner of my body had gained, only to suddenly have to do the exact opposite and gorge myself at every meal so I didn’t look anorexic.

I came to a stop beside the worker, barely panting despite having run more than thirty miles. High endurance and constitution had a few great benefits. “What do you need?”

The gangly teen took a second to reply, stunned by my speed. Most of the hired workers had become used to my morning run, but there were still plenty of people that hadn’t.

I was one of them.

“Um, sorry to interrupt, sir. Master Miner Datter asked me to see if you could speak with him. He says it’s urgent.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s waiting for you over on the western side of the reservoir site, sir.”

I nodded. “I’ll go see him now.”

* * *

Master Miner Datter scowled at nothing in particular as I stared into the pit where more than 3,000 miners worked. What little hair Datter had left had turned white, and his once muscular frame was now small and hunched, leaning forward over a cane. Despite his appearance, you would be mistaken to think the 193-year-old was past the stage where he could work. He was down there most days swinging a mallet next to the rest of them.

The miners had removed all the dirt from the area where the doughnut-shaped reservoir would be located and were now working their way through the granite underneath. Groups of men and women stood in long lines, cutting into the concentrated granite with hammers and wedges, forming the stone into construction materials of all varieties.

Those materials were being picked up by the construction guilds and transported all over the village. Granite-paved roads and stone farmhouses were going in everywhere. The finished roads were doing more than just helping me learn to run faster. They were already speeding up productivity, letting wagons transport goods more quickly, and the concentrated granite houses looked sturdy enough to survive a cyclops. When everything was finished, my farm would be able to house at least 3,000 workers and their families, and there wouldn’t be anywhere in and around Blackwood for a wagon to get bogged down.

Datter turned to the side and spat. “It’s your money, Arnold, but working around that damn tower in the middle of the reservoir and making it circular is doubling the price of construction. I know you factored that in, but you really should reconsider. That scholar is just wasting your gold with his insane ideas.”

I stifled a groan. “Datter, if you called me here to complain about the tower again, I’m going to be annoyed.” I liked the old man, but he was beginning to get on my nerves with his efficiency peeve.

Datter grunted. “Sorry, it gets on my nerves. Stupid bloody thing.” He heaved a sigh and shook his head. “I called you over because my boys found a small vein of poor quality jade this morning and I was wondering what you wanted us to do with it?”

My eyes filled with dollar signs and my mood improved. “What’s the jade worth?”

“About five crowns. As I said, the quality is poor, so it won’t make jewellery, but there is a fair bit of it, so you could get a nice small table with a few chairs made from it. You could get a bigger haul if I pulled it out myself since my focus is in that direction. It might be enough to make a nice desk.”

The dollar signs vanished. “How much?”

There were almost a dozen master miners involved in the project. Each of them had their speciality, with promotions of one sort or another that allowed them to be more effective than others in some way. Datter’s speciality was jewels, but he wasn’t here because of that. He was here because his speciality allowed him to detect changes in the rock yards before the miners reached it. Collapsing walls wasn’t a huge issue with concentrated granite, it being so insanely tough, but you couldn’t have such a big project without someone with the skill for safety reasons.

Datter smirked greedily. “Well, being a master miner of some means, I can pull out 50% more than the boys and girls down there can. I might even improve the quality a little. That extra jade would be worth about three crowns, so I’d be happy to do it for one.”

“I take it this is outside our contract?”

Datter’s smirk grew. “That’s a very astute observation. And you are correct. You’ve hired us to mine concentrated granite, not precious stone. We will, of course, pull it out of there since it is in the way, but any additional benefits to that extraction will cost extra. I can show you my copy of the contract if you would like?”

“No, that’s not necessary.” I dug my hand into my pocket and pulled out my purse. I grabbed a gold piece and handed it over. This wasn’t about the jade. You didn’t reach the old man’s age without enough wealth to ignore a sum as trivial as five crowns. The sideways looks he was giving me said he was testing me for some reason.

Datter took the coin and pocketed it.

We watched the miners work, listening to the sound of stone cracking and hammers hitting wedges. The miners moved quickly, far quicker than anyone should have been able to, considering the difficulty of their job. Stone slabs the size of cars were broken off the pit wall, halved, halved again, and then broken down into small blocks that could be moved by hand to wagons that were waiting to leave the pit via the ramp that had been built against one wall. All that happened in a matter of minutes, instead of the hours or days that it should have taken.

Datter looked around, apparently checking to see if we were alone, and then dropped his voice. “It has come through the guild hierarchy that the regent wants those in charge of this project to drag their feet. Now, normally, the other masters and I wouldn’t do anything that might upset the regent or the guild, but a few of my colleagues are not the sort of people who wish to turn their hand against someone bearing the crown’s mark. Many of us wish they were because this leaves us all in a precarious position. If we ignore the regent, we will probably lose our position in the guild.”

I nodded, still not seeing where he was going but suddenly liking the old guy a whole lot less. “That is a difficult position, but I’m sure you have an answer for it.”

Datter snorted. “I didn’t until this morning. Like I said, I’m all for slowing down a bit of progress if the regent wants us to. But do you know what happened this morning?” He didn’t wait for me to reply. “What happened is I saw jade where there shouldn’t be any jade. Now, that got me thinking. Why is there jade where there shouldn’t be jade? Jade just doesn’t appear. It follows rules. So what rule let jade form down there?” He stepped closer and clapped me on the shoulder, chuckling to himself. “Well, let me tell you, there are actually a few rules that let jade form down there. Each one is rather unlikely, so I had to go looking for more clues, and then I remembered your village’s wizard. A man too experienced for a place this small. And I got thinking to myself: why would there be jade and a wizard where there shouldn’t be jade and a wizard? Maybe that’s because they are both supposed to be here, and if they are both supposed to be here, then they might be here for the same reason. And if they were here for the same reason, then that reason would have to be that there is a crystallized mana deposit somewhere under our feet.”

“A rather far-off answer to your original question, wouldn’t you think?”

Datter chuckled some more, crinkling his face with wrinkles and hungry, greedy happiness. “Yes, quite far off, but if it were true, it might present an opportunity. Do you have any idea what happens when you have a village quarry near a crystallized mana deposit that it’s linked to?”

“I imagine you get jade?”

“Not just jade, but jewels of all varieties. Now, do you know what happens when you have a village quarry owned by an individual with the crown’s mark that is near a crystallized mana deposit and managed by a master miner like myself?”

“No, I don’t.”

“You get lots of jewels.” He whispered the word jewels huskily with almost sexual intensity.

I’d heard of gold fever and this sounded like something similar.

“You would also get a large amount of concentrated granite, I imagine.” I didn’t want to turn Datter or the other masters against me, but I had to be practical. I wasn’t going to pay for a quarry just to keep him quiet or stop them from dragging their feet.

Datter scowled. “Well, yes, you would.”

“And that much granite would be hard to use in a small village with few villages close by.”

Datter’s scowl grew. “Yes, it would be.”

“Which means investing in such a quarry wouldn’t be such a good idea.”

Datter frowned at me, confused. The confused frown continued for several seconds before he tentatively asked a question. “You do realise that when the lord of a village lays down a quarry, they can decide between quality and quantity, right?”

Datter knew I was incarnate, and that I might not know that, so his tone wasn’t patronizing.

“Nooooo…” My response might have been a bit more cartoonish than I intended, but I couldn’t hold back my surprise or stop myself from grabbing his shoulder and stepping closer, well past the man’s comfort zone.

“Well, you can,” Datter said, immediately uncomfortable with my sudden proximity. “In most cases, a village will choose quantity over quality for the increase in production it offers, but you can always go for quality straight away. It will make the mine significantly smaller, but either way won’t affect the quantity or quality of jewels produced, only the granite. You wouldn’t even have to level it past the first level as the creation of jewels won’t actually be a part of the quarry, but an outlet for the transmutation properties of the crystallized mana’s overflow.”

My jaw dropped. “Now, that does sound promising, but I’m still not sure what your intentions are.”

Datter calmly removed my hand from his shoulder and stepped back. “My intentions are simple. I will personally take charge of the project with the full ramifications of going against the regent falling on me. I will keep everything on time and on budget, and if the regent becomes upset, then the others will throw me under the wagon and have me removed from the guild. If that happens, you will purchase the quarry and make me its sole miner, allowing me to chase those beautiful shiny stars to my heart’s content, paying me 10% of the value of everything I pull out.”

This was one of those times I was thankful for my father’s teachings. “I need to think this over before I give you an answer.”

Datter patted my shoulder, grinning. “I understand, but if I don’t have your answer in a few days, the other masters will start dragging their feet.”

So many things about this world were different from my own that I wasn’t sure if I was happy or upset that contract workers seemed to be the same no matter what universe you lived in. Some were honest men and women trying to do good work and some were crooks willing to squeeze every cent they could out of their employer.

* * *

Several hours later, I sat in Emily’s parlour, across the table from her, Isabelle, Redcliff, and Ranic—who eventually came over from the construction of his house of scholars after I sent the third runner asking him for help.

Nervous butterflies filled my stomach. I’d thought over Datter’s proposal and his not-threat threat he had pointed at me. I’d even talked to the other masters and ran the numbers. I didn’t have the spare money for the project to run over-budget. Datter told me they could easily add another 10,000 crowns to the project's cost by dragging their feet if they wanted to. It wouldn’t even be that hard. The other masters had confirmed this as fact.

Isabelle smiled at Redcliff and then rolled her eyes at me. “What are you up to now, Arnold?”

I took a slow breath. “I’m not up to anything, for once. The regent has asked the miner’s guild to slow down construction on the reservoir to increase the cost. Some of them don’t want to, but others are willing to go along with her request, enough that I’m not sure who will win if they start infighting. Even if my supporters win, they might all lose their positions in the guild. But that’s only part of why I’m here. This morning they found a small vein of jade in the pit.”

Isabelle’s eyes spoke volumes for half a second before her face returned to its neutral, polite, court expression. She took a sip from her cup of tea, but the excited tremble in her hand gave her away.

Ranic sucked in a breath at the same moment. “They found jade in the pit! Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Datter says it is poor quality, but it is jade.”

Ranic began chewing on his bottom lip. “What’s his conclusion?”

“He believes there is a deposit of crystallized mana somewhere within the village’s influence.”

“No, there isn’t,” Emily said.

Her mother placed a hand on Emily’s shoulder. “That’s not entirely true.”

Emily scowled at her mother. “And you were going to tell me this when?”

Isabelle shrugged. “I wasn’t. You have access to the village interface. You could have found out at any time.”

Emily’s scowl softened. She began to roll her eyes but caught herself, realising she had company. “So, the village has access to crystallized mana. What does that have to do with finding jade in the pit?”

Redcliff fiddled with the cuff of his robe as he cleared his throat. “The crystallized mana created the jade.”

Emily frowned. “How?”

“Transmutation through ambientisation,” Redcliff answered. “In non-technical terms, the crystallized mana under the village reached full magical charge and instead of growing, it siphoned the excess mana into a nearby resource, causing transmutation. In this instance, it turned concentrated granite into jade. Half of all small crystallized mana deposits do this in some form. The other half grow into large deposits.”

That was news to me and my mind was already racing. “Will it channel transformations like that to other resources? Like my farm?”

Redcliff shook his head. “Once a vein establishes a connection with a resource, it won’t break it until that resource is depleted. There is so much concentrated granite under this village that this is impossible.”

Ranic seemed to already know this. He hadn’t stopped scowling since asking his question. “Arnold, I assume Datter wants you to sign a contract that you will purchase a quarry in return for his people not dragging their feet.”

I nodded, not surprised Ranic could deduce such a complicated answer from so little information. “He offered standard rates for his services along with taking responsibility for the project before the guild. This way, good people won’t lose the best years of their life, and he gets to play in his retirement.”

Ranic sighed and then looked at Emily. “His offer is a good one. A quarry owned by someone bearing the crown’s mark, which is leeching mana from a crystallized mana vein, will make significantly more as an investment than adding another lumber forest will. I can’t tell you exactly how much because that’s not my speciality, but it’s enough to make this a good opportunity and investment—but only if Redcliff can make sure the link between the resources is established properly.”

Redcliff smiled. “That depends.”

“On what?” Ranic replied.

“On the decisions in this room.” Redcliff leaned back and crossed his arms. “The wizard academy foresaw this possibility when the discovery of the crystallized mana occurred and I am authorised to purchase the quarry on its behalf. Many jewels are used as spell components and the academy is always interested in expanding the resources we have available to us. However, I understand Landlord Arnold is in a unique position here in Blackwood due to his unorthodox manipulation of the laws, which allowed our new lord to gain her levels, and is capable of superseding our offer with one of his own.”

Ranic nodded. “Clearly. What do you propose?”

Redcliff smiled. “I will assist in linking the new quarry to the deposit, and in return, the academy will have the power to purchase anything that comes from it at double its base value.”

Damn, that was a good offer.

Ranic scowled. “You might be the most suited to performing the link, but your services are not worth having Arnold begging for coppers on the street. Even triple the base price would be insulting.”

Really?

Redcliff smiled. “Oh, pardon me. It was a slip of the tongue, of course, that would not apply to more rare finds. Those would, of course, be purchased on a case-by-case basis with an option of taking them to auction.”

Ranic’s scowl grew. “I heard no change in your offer for the more common finds.”

“Because I didn’t offer one.”

Ranic scoffed. “Arnold’s merchant skill is currently maxed, Redcliff.”

Redcliff blinked and then looked at me. “Seriously?”

I nodded.

“Show me.”

After checking with Ranic to see if I should, I gave Redcliff access, allowing him to look at my merchant skill level.

Redcliff’s eyes widened. “Oh, my mistake. I agree to triple the base value for common finds that the academy would like to purchase.” He shook his head. “That is one hell of an exploit you developed. I honestly thought I was offering you a good deal under the circumstances.”

I smiled. “Ranic said triple would be insulting and I know you don’t want to insult me, Redcliff.”

It had been a year since I’d played cards with Redcliff, but the man had all sorts of tells and right now, he was scratching his thumb with his index finger. He was bluffing. I honestly had no idea how much the jewels were worth or why they were worth so much over their base value, but I wasn’t going to allow myself to be taken to the cleaners if I could help it.

I kept smiling, waiting for him to break.

He scowled. “Fine, I’ll offer you standard rates for academy jewel purchases so long as the academy receives the right of first refusal. You happy now?”

I had no idea what that meant, so I kept smiling. Now it was my turn to bluff. Luckily, someone who knew what they were talking about was right on hand.

Ranic nodded.

So I nodded, then looked at Ranic and rolled my eyes. “You realise I’m a farmer, right?”

“You are a farmer that bears the crown’s mark and a farmer who will bear the mark of this village as soon as our young lord here earns enough to purchase one, if I’m not mistaken.” He looked at Emily as he said the last part.

She nodded. “I get the prompt that he’s earned it every time I see him.”

Ranic smiled. “See, you have the ability to turn this village into something amazing. And you already own the rights to the two existing lumber forests, so you might as well own a quarry too.”

“Wait, I own the forests…since when?”

“About a week before we got back,” Isabelle said. “I’ve been meaning to ask you what you were planning to do with them.”

I turned to Ranic. “When were you going to mention this?”

Ranic winked at Isabelle and then turned back to me. “You have access to your logs. You could have found out at any time if you bothered to read them.”

Isabelle and Emily both covered their mouths, fighting the urge to giggle. They weren’t succeeding. Redcliff gave a little chuckle, though he was also scowling.

I turned my head and opened up my logs and began searching through for land purchases. There were a lot of them. I’d bought almost all of the village’s land and buildings which was why I had turned off the prompts. There were now only three holdouts and they were all multigenerational families that didn’t want to sell their land for any price. I went through the long list of purchases until I finally found what I was looking for. When I got to the section of the logs showing lumberjacks and hunters selling up their rights to the forest, a prompt appeared.

Well done, you own the entire forestry and hunting rights to the Blackwood’s first and second western forests. For this level of affluence, you have received the title: Woods’ Master.

Woods’ Master

Level: 2

Effect:

+2 to Intelligence and Wisdom.

Crown’s mark additional effects:

+5% to the quality of your forest’s produce.

+25% to the quantity of your forest’s produce.

+25% to experience in the forests.

Congratulations, you can now access basic information about these resources.

Daily resources available:

First Western Forest, level 2:

250 softwood trees of varying quality and size

12 wild goats

1 wild deer

Second Western Forest, Level 2:

25 hardwood trees of varying quality and size

125 rabbits

I dismissed the prompt.

Ranic smiled at me. “Woods’ Master, it’s so nice of you to join us.”

This time no one hid their laughter.

* * *

The negotiation had been relatively straightforward after discussing the academy’s price. Redcliff laid out the timeframe required to make the link and offered a price that both Ranic and Isabelle thought was fair. After a celebratory drink to close the deal, Redcliff took his leave.

The instant the parlour doors closed, Ranic turned to me. There wasn’t an ounce of friendliness in his gaze; it was sterile. He hadn’t looked at me like this since I promised him I could get him through his threshold. “I have a business proposition for you. I will give you the entirety of the money required for establishing the quarry tomorrow, and in return, we split the profits 50-50.”

I blinked, confused. “Why are you giving me money?”

Isabelle politely cleared her throat, scowling at Ranic. “That is unacceptable.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“Because my husband and I would also like to invest in this quarry.”

Ranic smiled. “Can you beat my proposal?”

Isabelle shook her head. “No. But we can match it. We only need time to secure a loan.”

“Which means you can’t match my offer,” Ranic countered. “The sooner Arnold establishes the quarry the sooner it will begin accumulating jewels.”

I glanced at Emily. She was trying her best to remain expressionless, but I could tell she was just as confused as I, which made me feel better. “Can someone please explain what’s going on? Why do you both suddenly want to invest in this quarry so badly?”

Isabelle turned to me, dropping the scowl. “Crystallized mana linked quarries are rare. There are only three in the entire kingdom. Each one is quite profitable when run by a master miner like Datter. In the past, only one of these quarries was owned by an individual bearing the crown’s mark. The small increase in the quality of the jewels the mark produced tripled the profits. That is why Ranic and I are willing to throw money at you to secure a share.”

“It’s that profitable?”

“Not in the beginning,” Ranic said. “But as the village population grows, the amount of ambient magic will increase along with the speed of the gem production. The three quarries Isabelle mentioned all belong to large cities and account for a tenth of their revenue and explain their rapid growth.”

Okay, so this quarry was a literal goldmine. They weren’t throwing money at me. They were just trying to get in on the action. No wonder Datter had been so happy.

Something occurred to me. “You could do this without me?” They both nodded. “Why don’t you?”

Isabelle paused for a moment. “The chance for personal gain if we move forward alone is great, but the gain for Blackwood is far greater if you are the owner. The tax revenue will be significantly higher, allowing Blackwood faster growth.”

Isabelle’s decision to be in business with me appeared to be a noble’s choice. The regent might have been a crazy bitch, but she said that nobles were required to put those in their care before themselves. They were meant to sacrifice for the good of others. And that was what she was doing.

I untied the string on my purse.

Would you like to access your funds?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes.

Would you like to access your personal or loan funds?

Personal Funds: 10,684 gold, 93 silver, 39 copper.

Loan Funds: 6,284 gold, 53 silver, 48 copper.

Personal/Loan?

I retied the string and the prompt faded. “How much will it cost to create the quarry?”

“Around 7,500 crowns,” Isabelle said.

“How much is my next tax payment with all my new properties, not just the farms?”

“A feather’s weight under 1,000 crowns,” Emily said.

I thought about the numbers for a second and decided it was doable. However, the safety net I wanted would be gone. “If I put aside the money for next year’s tax and interest, I’m just shy of being able to afford it with my personal funds.”

Ranic coughed and blinked, showing his shock. “How?”

“The money from the king and the leftover winnings from the casino,” I said. I’d never told him exactly how much I’d won. I had only told him it was enough to purchase a full set of blessings.

Ranic shook his head. “I didn’t realise you had that much wealth. In that case, I retract my offer.”

Isabelle frowned for a second. “Ranic, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and merely business. My husband and I won’t think of you differently if your offer succeeds ahead of our own. Please, don’t hold back.”

Ranic chuckled, waving off her comments. “I’m not, my dear. Why do I need more wealth? I already possess more than I can use. The opportunity presented itself and I made the offer. The fact that Arnold has other options does not bother me in the slightest. And in the long-run, it would be far better for Blackwood to have your family investing in its future. You truly care for this village, while I am only a guest.”

Isabelle smiled; it lit up her entire face. “Thank you.”

Ranic shrugged, smiling. “You’re welcome. As I said, I am only a guest. There is little point in me investing in this village. I don’t even have a proper home here. Your husband never got around to approving the building permit I requested several months ago.”

Isabelle laughed. “I’ll have it approved by the end of the day. You can build a manor on the street behind ours if you wish.”

Ranic folded his arms smugly. It was almost as if this outcome was the old man’s intention all along.

I looked at Isabelle. “If I’m going to purchase this quarry before we deal with the giant, I’m only going to do it with the money we already have. If we lose the village, I don’t want you and Jeric stuck repaying a loan on an investment that no longer exists. So, if you are going to invest in the quarry with me, you will need to do so with the funds you have available.”

Isabelle lost some of her humour but nodded. “That’s sensible. In that case, we can afford to pay one-third of the setup cost. Ranic, as a neutral party, what do you believe our fair share should be for this investment?”

Ranic scratched his jaw. “If it were my investment, 10% would be fair. But, since you hold a special place in Blackwood’s management, it should be 20%.”

“That seems like a gross misuse of power,” I said.

Isabelle nodded. “That is because it is. How does 20% sound to you?”

“It sounds like I’m almost spending as much money on this quarry as the overtime will cost me. But, sure, why not. It’s a deal. Hopefully this investment is as good as you two think it will be.”

* * *

Well done, you own the entire quarrying rights to Blackwood’s quarry. For this level of affluence, you have received the title: Stone Master.

Stone Master

Level: 1

Effect:

+1 to Strength.

Crown’s mark additional effects:

+5% to the quality of your quarry’s produce.

+25% to the quantity of your quarry’s produce.

+25% to experience in the quarry.

Congratulations, you can now access basic information about these resources.

Daily resources available:

Blackwood Quarry, level 1:

12.5 units of the highest quality concentrated granite. (Concentrated granite will sporadically be transmuted into other minerals.)

41

THE NEXT STEP

When I designed my barn’s trapdoor and pit, getting in and out had been a little dangerous. Now that Quilly had upgraded those designs, that little dangerous had turned into risking death and dismemberment. I was forty feet below ground level, ten feet above the bottom, in the first of the completed pits, installing a trap so lethal it could kill me as easily as my swinging axes would a troll. The harness chafed, and the board I was lying on—to do my work safely—wasn’t as steady as I would have liked, rocking with even the slightest movement. The whole scaffolding system Quilly designed wasn’t sturdy enough for me to feel safe.

I had no one to blame for my current predicament but myself. Sure, Quilly had badgered me into handing over the money for this mithril razor thread net after swearing at me for ten days straight, but at the time, my reservation had nothing to do with the danger involved with installing it and everything to do with the cost. The damn net was more expensive than the rest of the fifty-foot deep pit combined. And it wasn’t like it was just a dirt pit.

The walls were thirty feet apart and lined with concentrated granite blocks bound together with mortar. There were four-bladed steel spikes at one-foot intervals that went all the way around and from top to bottom. If something ever managed to climb out of this abyss of death, I would run.

I finished locking the net into the anchor, a small mithril ring attached to a larger steel one, and slowly began tightening. Tightening the threads hadn’t been so bad initially, but with each new link the space I had to work with shrank. There were so many of them now that the gap between the hair-thick threads was barely a foot wide.

And a foot of space wasn’t a lot to work with when you’d seen these threads cut through a hunk of pork just by gently brushing against it.

Quilly informed me while giggling that, with my insane health, I’d survive hitting the steel spikes on the walls. Even at speed. But the threads would kill me. That’s why the harness’s max length was just short of where my body could touch the net. That wasn’t as reassuring as it sounded because installing the threads required enough length be left on the harness for me to lose my arms below the elbow. So I worked slowly and carefully, taking as much time as I felt I needed to get the job completed safely.

It took several hours.

I put my hands on the board and climbed to a standing position. The board rocked under me as I clutched the railing. “I’m coming up,” I shouted.

After a few seconds, the harness rope pulled tight, and some of my internal tension eased. I made my way to the ladder and started climbing.

Along with the expensive net, I had to pay to have this scaffolding device constructed. It was a real headache, but Quilly promised me all of this would be worth it.

Well, she hadn’t promised me. She’d said I’d be a fucking idiot not to listen to her and that I would cream my…basically, she had said a lot of disgusting things until I gave in.

At the top of the ladder, I climbed onto the narrow walkway near the edge of the pit inside the barn.

Jeric, Lenlin, Manson, and Pel stood to the side while Quilly managed my harness. The four of them had come far in the past few weeks. I trusted them enough to put all of the traps together and work them effectively. Not that they could until I passed through my threshold. But even though they couldn’t, it was reassuring to have skilled people around who sped up the process.

Quilly scowled as I stepped off the walkway. “Took your fucking time, didn’t you.”

“Shut up, Quilly. I’m not in the mood. It’s in place like you asked, so show me why I spent all this money.”

Quilly grumbled to herself as she walked over to the deer carcass. “I could have done it in a tenth the time. But no, you had to do it yourself. Pain in my ass, boss. Why the hell did I leave Melgrim?” Quilly picked up the dead deer and walked to the edge of the pit. “You all better be watching. I’ve only got a couple of extra goats. I’m not going to go back to the village to get another deer because you didn’t pay attention.”

Everyone closed in around the edge of the pit. The sun was high, so there was plenty of light to see the bottom.

“Toss it,” Lenlin said, grinning.

Quilly gave a small grunt and the deer went over the edge. It takes more than a second for something to fall forty feet. The deer tumbled end over end, building up speed. I expected the deer to hit the net and break into pieces. It didn’t. It passed right through like the net wasn’t there, only breaking into chunks once it hit the bottom ten feet below the net.

I stared, dumbfounded.

No one said a word. And then a goat went sailing past. And then another. Each time you couldn’t tell the carcass had hit the net until after it struck the ground.

Then Quilly threw a six-foot-long, inch-thick steel pole over the side. It came apart too. Clusters of bones the size of watermelons and a random assortment of household goods went over the side. No one spoke as we watched object after object be cut into pieces.

Somewhere around the twentieth object, I waved at Quilly to stop. I shook my head. “Okay, you win. The mithril nets go in all of them.”

Quilly grinned. “I fucking told you.”

* * *

Jeric offered me his hand as I climbed out of the pit. Another two weeks had passed. The first order for the mithril thread nets had arrived, which meant I had the fun job of installing them.

Not every pitfall had the mithril threads, but the ones in a barn did. I’d been caught out with escalating numbers too many times and fought against too many insane monsters in the arena to cheap out when there was something this effective. The pits could now kill more than a dozen ogres without losing any of their effectiveness. It would require a small army to get through any of the barns.

The others still couldn’t help install traps because the system didn’t see them as part of my farm, yet. I still had to pass through my threshold and link them in as farmhands. But even if they could help, the nets weren’t something I was comfortable having them install. They were dangerous. Far more dangerous than anything else I would have them do. I trusted Quilly to do it, but Ranic and Adoya were certain I wouldn’t get the farmer experience if she installed the traps.

They were also certain that the traps would give off the threat aura which all trapsmith-installed traps did. It would make monsters wary of approaching the barns. Apparently, because my class wasn’t combat-orientated, this didn’t happen to the traps I installed, which was why monsters never hesitated before following me into my barn.

My urge to protect the others had nothing to do with the fact that the nets had the potential to generate the most trapsmith experience and that by setting them up myself I would receive all the experience. No, this was about their safety, even though I'd already safely installed 15.

Okay, I lied. The potential experience had a lot to do with me installing them alone.

Jeric pulled me away from danger and clapped me on the shoulder. “That’s the last one for today. Quilly just said she had an epiphany and thinks her final blueprint will be ready in a few days, so we should be able to finish setting them all up in another month. If everything goes to plan, we should be done a few weeks before the reservoir is finished.”

Quilly grinned manically, small eyes bright and feral. “I can’t bloody wait.”

“We know,” Jeric replied drolly. He gave the signal for the three holding my rope to let go and changed to the winch frame connected to the ladder. The ladder began to rise.

The new installation method I’d demanded Quilly create was far easier, simpler, and safer than the previous. It didn’t take nearly as long to set up and install either.

Quilly didn’t let Jeric’s tone dampen her mood. Actually, she’d let nothing dampen her mood since I agreed to use the mithril nets. She was getting more and more excited with each passing day. Soon her aggressive form of cheerfulness was going to be impossible to be around.

We dismantled the ladder as it came up and then did the same to the winch system. Quilly locked the revolving trapdoor into place over the pit and we all walked out.

Unlike my old trapdoors, I felt perfectly comfortable walking over hers. They didn’t make that unsettling creaking sound. And it helped that Quilly had dropped a tonne of granite onto one to prove how sturdy they were.

“You nervous?” Jeric asked as we walked away from the barn.

I pretended to look off at the other automated barns that were still under construction. I needed time to frame my reply. Like ants on a hill, dozens of carpenters and masons swarmed over the new construction sites, building the barns at two-hundred-yard intervals along the edge of the village zone. They were as close to the tree line as we could get them. They were all identical and ready to be set up like the one we had just left.

Quilly had upgraded most of my trap designs already. The one we were waiting on was just the finishing touch. It would allow the swinging axes to reset five or six times before they stopped working. It was kind of scary thinking about how dangerous these new automated barns were. They were 50% bigger than the old barn I burned down. And they already held twice the traps before she’d even finished her designs. When everything was complete, they would be terrifying weapons, but not nearly as terrifying as the manual barns.

I didn’t like the idea of everything being automated. There was still a chance that a smart monster might turn up. If one did, it might be able to recognise the traps and circumvent them—which was why we were building five manual barns to go along with the others. They were three hundred yards farther back from the boundary, with much wider spacing between them than the automated barns.

Those barns were much bigger and stronger, with faster and more deadly traps that we could trigger when we chose. My hope was that the automated barns closest to the forest would draw in whatever was around and take it out without anyone having to risk their lives. The ones farther back were for situations where there were too many monsters or if the first barns failed to attract their attention.

Call me overly cautious, but I didn’t like having to put all my eggs in one basket. It didn’t help that Salem’s daily reports were growing scarier and scarier. There were more and larger monsters moving into the forest all the time. The giant had only come about a mile closer since we had been out, but we both knew that could change within a few short weeks.

I’d originally thought that two hundred yards apart was sufficient for the automated barns. Now that I had seen what it looked like in person, it was much too far for my liking. I think a hundred yard gap would be safer, but we were already going to struggle to set up and maintain the ones we had. Doubling the number was impossible until I could have more people under me. For that to happen, I’d need to pass through my second threshold or find a few farmers who’d passed through their first ones. And that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

“Yeah, he’s nervous,” Lenlin said before turning to spit.

“I’m not nervous,” I said. “Honestly, what’s there to be nervous about? All I have to do is plant a seed and then I’m through my threshold.”

“Well, there is the small matter of performing the planting ritual,” Jeric said, trying to wind me up. “If you don’t execute that correctly, then the heritage seed won’t get the bonus experience and level, which will weaken the boon you receive, ultimately making your future farm less effective. You also don’t know what sort of apple this heritage seed will produce. It might be fantastic or a complete dud. You might have the beginning of a great orchard or have to purchase another heritage seed and try your luck with a different crop.”

“Exactly,” I said. “There is nothing to be worried about.”

They all chuckled.

Then Lenlin, Manson, and Pel waved their goodbyes and promised they would be at the orchard before sunset to drink the free booze I was supplying for my threshold party. They turned and headed in the direction of the newly-built hamlet to the south of the village. For the foreseeable future, none of the land on the eastern side of the village was going to be developed. There was enough undeveloped land to the south and north that leaving it open, for safety reasons, wasn’t much of an issue.

That would have to change at some point, but hopefully by then I would have come up with an even safer method for trapping monsters.

After a few minutes of walking, Jeric spoke up. “Is it just me or is Arnold’s Hill getting bigger?”

“You’re imagining it,” I said, not bothering to look.

Constructing the reservoir had created a dirt issue—an eighty-foot deep dirt issue, to be exact. That much dirt had to go somewhere. You couldn’t just spread it on a few fields, and we didn’t need that much to raise the roads. Fortunately, the problem had given Ranic an idea for luring the giant where we wanted it to go.

So at the start of the project, the miners had dug down to granite in a small area and carved out blocks similar in size to those used to construct the pyramids. Those blocks had then been moved a quarter of a mile farther east towards the border where they were used to form a ring. After that, the dirt had been transported over to fill it in.

Arnold’s Hill was born, built up layer by layer, until the excess dirt left behind from the other projects filled a fifty-foot raised area the exact dimension of the reservoir.

It was a massive undertaking.

And without the magic that governed this world, it should have taken years with their technology level. Instead it only took weeks.

Ranic believed the tower would attract the giant. Over the last few months, he’d read up on them nearly as much as I had and was almost certain that the massive beast would see the tower and climb to the top because it was the highest point in the area. Ranic had ordered a bunch of warding poles with troll and ogre skulls to be placed at the top. If a troll got up there, it would be scared off, but a giant would just get angry. Once it was angry, hopefully it would see the village gate straight ahead and charge towards it.

Ranic was going to throw in a few more warding poles along the way and put some on the tower in the middle of the reservoir pitfall instead of livestock. He was relatively certain the angry giant would head straight for the warding poles and tear them down. The goal was to get it so angry it saw red and didn’t realise there was a trap until after it was falling.

I honestly didn’t think it could be that easy, which was why I was spending every morning practicing running and focusing on overcoming my fear of the beast. The fearless mark I’d received helped enough that I’d stopped having to drink to keep the trembles at bay. But I was looking forward to passing through my threshold. The extra charisma would help to boost my bravery and fortify my character, so I could do what needed to be done.

As an afterthought, Ranic had also told me that he wanted my farm manor to be built on top of Arnold’s Hill once I passed through my second threshold. I’d only had to go up there once to agree. I wasn’t a materialistic sort of person, so building the manor in such a hard-to-reach place had seemed wasteful to me, but the view of the forests and the fields had been lovely enough to validate the cost. I was looking forward to sitting on the veranda and watching the sunset. It would almost make living in Blackwood worth it.

“No, I don’t think I am,” Jeric said. “There is a new layer of stone up there.”

I turned and counted the layers of stone blocks. Each was five feet high, so there had only ever been ten. I counted eleven.

I stifled a groan. More and more changes were taking place without my input and I was beginning to get annoyed enough to do something about it. “I’ll talk to Ranic and see what’s going on.”

42

SCHEMES WITHIN SCHEMES

Taking ownership of Ranic’s house of scholars opened up all sorts of possibilities for Blackwood. The crown reimbursed Jeric’s purchase of the building slot through the village interface, so the village had money to spare for the first time in decades, no longer having to rely on Jeric’s and Isabelle’s stipends for funding. Along with new roads, Isabelle had ordered the old log wall be replaced with a new thirty-foot granite one constructed from the village’s tax portion of the granite pulled out of the reservoir.

So the closer we got to Blackwood, the more traffic clogged the streets. People were everywhere. A steady line of miners and builders entered and exited the inn. Gretel was so overworked she’d had to hire staff from the nearby village of Brinkdale. Labourers were visiting the Broken Anvil or the guild smiths to have tools repaired. And wagon after wagon was transporting goods.

Every building I owned that had been boarded up since I arrived in Blackwood was now someone’s living space. I liked it. It reminded me of living in the city. It wasn’t chaos, but it was a level of busy the village had never experienced.

Jeric and I parted ways at the square and I went to find Ranic. The old man rarely left his house of scholars during work hours. Every time he turned his back, the royal architect tried to simplify Ranic’s design to something more traditional. With the king paying the bill, Ranic was putting in everything he’d ever thought a farming house of scholars would need.

The builders didn’t care one way or the other. They were working for reasonable money, so they weren’t trying to make more by cutting corners. From their perspective, the longer the project took, the better. It was only the architect that was causing trouble—and it wasn’t that much trouble. It was more a disagreement over the aesthetics of the building.

Ranic wasn’t listening and was using the opportunity to add details whether or not the architect liked them.

Apparently, constructing magical buildings correctly mattered, because when they leveled they physically grew, like the house of scholars in Weldon had done when Ranic had passed through his third threshold. What they grew into was entirely dependent on the building that was there to begin with; the nicer the building, the nicer the upgrade. Therefore, every piece had been shipped in rather than sourced locally, and every detail Ranic wanted had to be added, not because of what it was now, but because of what it could grow into.

I made my way through the village square, waved to Brill, and kept going to the next street where the construction was taking place.

Ranic’s house of scholars was now more than half complete. The outside walls were all made from a stone called royal marble. Each piece was selected for beauty, intricately carved, and then polished to a kitchen counter finish. The roof was on, and window frames were ready for glass. The internal walls weren’t finished, but the second floor was down and polished to the point where I could see my reflection.

The building was smaller than the one in Weldon, but that was because it would grow as it leveled. As far as magical buildings went, a house of scholars was kind of mundane. The only genuinely magical thing about the building was the virtual training ground in the basement. It was like the arena, but it didn’t allow you to train against monsters, only train to grow crops. You could go through the whole process of farming a specific crop in a few hours instead of days and weeks. Apart from that, all the building did was give village-wide buffs that grew stronger and more numerous the higher its level grew.

I wandered through, no longer surprised to see blocks of stone and planks of wood change in size as they were laid down. You see one plank of wood widen by an inch to fill in a gap, you’ve seen them all.

I found Ranic near the back of the building, arguing with the architect. Neither of them was yelling—which made this one of their better days.

Ranic saw me and broke off his conversation with a “Don’t you dare think this is over.” Then he turned to me, caught my annoyed expression, and said, “So you heard about the second reservoir, I take it?”

My annoyance grew. “What second reservoir?”

He suddenly found something fascinating to look at on the ground. “I misspoke.”

“Ranic, what second reservoir?”

The old man cringed and finally returned my gaze. “The one they began constructing this morning.”

I squeezed my forehead and took a breath, fighting to remain calm. “Why are they constructing a second reservoir?”

“The road builders are too far ahead of the miners and ran out of material. Since you were paying them to sit around, I figured they might as well dig a second reservoir on the western side of the village to power waterwheels for a grain mill, lumber mill, and the stone cutting shed the quarry will need. As they are already here and working on the other one, it is only going to cost a few hundred crowns.”

I looked at him confused, momentarily losing my annoyance to curiosity. “How is it so cheap?”

“Well, this one will be much shallower than the other one and it’s not going into the granite. The road builders are just digging out the soil and clay so the builders can line the walls with stone blocks from the other reservoir. You are basically only paying for a few extra days of work and a few materials like mortar. It’s a good investment.”

On the surface, everything he said sounded reasonable. But I nearly lost it. “Ranic, I talked to the foresters weeks ago. I know how little that wood is worth. Only towns bother with lumber mills. Villages don’t produce enough to justify the cost.”

Ranic sighed and waved me over. He led me to another room and checked no one was nearby before continuing. “Normally, I would agree with you, but you went and made yourself an enemy of the regent. Isabelle told me the regent has requested that all this quarter’s taxes be paid in foodstuffs. If I hadn’t put in the clause that the guilds you hired are required to feed themselves, then they wouldn’t have brought in outside food, and our workers would already be going hungry.”

“I know that, but what does that have to do with a second reservoir?”

“I believe once the workers are gone, she’ll have the taxes paid in wood. If half of all wood suddenly left the village, you wouldn’t have enough to run the farm at full capacity. Yes, the cost isn’t justified from an economic point of view, but the increase in lumber from having a mill protects you from the regent’s meddling, which makes this a necessary investment.”

My frustration and annoyance finally boiled over. “I can’t afford this, Ranic. It’s just cost after cost after cost. Putting aside the workers’ wages, I’ve spent all but a thousand gold of the loan. I’ve only got my personal wealth left, and that’s nearly gone after purchasing the quarry. Most of what I have I need to pay the interest and other unexpected costs.”

Ranic pulled out a flask and handed it to me. “Drink, relax. Take a breath. You’ve dug yourself into a hole, but you’ve got everything you need to dig yourself out again.”

I took a swig. There was no burn. This was Ranic’s good stuff, something called ambrosia. I took a breath to clear my head. “What if I can’t do it?”

“Well, then you will be famous. I mean, if this endeavour fails, it is going to make the largest footnote in any scholarly text I’ve ever read.”

That made me chuckle.

“Just to be clear, Arnold, I don’t think we will fail. You certainly aren’t a farmer, but you have a vision and the makings of a decent leader if you ever decide to put in the effort. I wouldn’t have helped you secure that loan if I thought you couldn’t pay it back.”

“I spent 20,000 crowns so that the villagers could abandon the village.”

“I expected nothing less.”

The way he said it made me frown. “What?”

Ranic smiled and patted my shoulder. “Honestly, Arnold, you can’t think you were somehow lucky enough to have just the right amount of money to purchase everything you needed for the traps and farm with enough left over to purchase the remainder of the village?”

“Not until right now,” I said, shocked. “You planned this?”

Ranic shrugged. “Planned, saw the possibility, guessed at the decisions you might make, does it matter? What matters is you had the tools you needed at the time you needed them to make a decision that most wouldn’t have made.”

My annoyance returned. “That sounds a lot like manipulation to me.”

“Does it? When you offer someone their favourite food and something else they simply like, are you manipulating that person into taking their favourite food? No, of course not. They are behaving as they will. Knowing they will take that option when you offer them the choice doesn’t invalidate them making their decision.”

I scowled, now seriously annoyed for a whole other reason. “Are there any more options you plan on offering me?”

“Of course, I took an oath to help you to the best of my ability. Now go and get some rest, and drink something. You need to be relaxed and focused when you plant the seed.”

43

PLANTING A MAGICAL TREE

It was about half an hour before sunset when everyone arrived at the orchard. Casks of ale and bottles of wine were stacked under tables at my expense. Everyone laid out blankets and pulled out food for a shared picnic dinner. My threshold party wouldn’t start until I planted the seed, but already everyone was in a festive mood. Instruments were out and music filled the air. I left my guitar case with Isabelle, planning to introduce everyone to country music after my charisma rose and I could finally sing without criticism.

Ranic took me aside, pulling me away from people wishing me well. A few of their names were unknown to me, as I’d never really talked to the village farmers or bothered analysing them, but I recognised the faces. Apparently, I now employed hundreds of the villagers who had sold me their land which is why they all had to be invited to my threshold party.

At least it was only my first threshold. The size and customary extravagance of threshold parties increased as they went along, and my funds were currently limited.

Ranic led me across the grass to a field he’d personally prepared, which would hold my future orchard's first apple trees. The moment I stepped onto the field, my vision changed and several areas were highlighted. Information began to pile up as I looked at the trellises the apple trees would be trained to grow along and soil at their base. The soil overlay had a vibrant shade of green I had never seen before.

Ranic cleared his throat. “Now, I’ve been developing the ground here and those nearby for the past few months. The quality of this field is bountiful. There is no higher quality. Pests, disease, and weeds are non-existent. However, there is one thing this field still lacks.”

I looked around, having to take his word for most of it. I didn’t really know how to recognise those things without the overlay—and that was showing me very little because my level was too low. “What’s missing?”

“Levels. I want you to go into your farm interface and level this field to 100. That will give it a 10% increase in quality.”

My annoyance over the second reservoir hadn’t disappeared. And what he was asking me to do was impossible. But since he was asking me to do it, I knew it couldn’t be—which meant he was hiding something from me again.

“I’ve been getting a few farming points from the villagers that stayed behind and are working the fields I bought,” I said. “I’ve also got the points from killing those monsters before the giant showed up. But I’m well short of what you need to get even a single field to that level.”

Ranic gave me a guilty smile.

“…Right?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“Explain.”

Ranic had me open my interface and walked me through the process of selling the field upgrades that were part of the farms the villagers sold me. I hadn’t known that was possible. Fifty years of hard work was sold in a few short minutes. The act didn’t receive the reverence it deserved. I’d undone multiple generations of toil with only a few thoughts.

“Now you need to upgrade this field the way I taught you,” Ranic said.

That had been months ago, but with my memory everything came back within a few seconds, since I was focusing on something specific. I pulled up the farming interface.

You have 256,347 farming points in reserve.

You have 2734 active fields.

I accessed the field I was standing in, skipping the more complicated interface.

Unspecified Field

Level: 5

Cost to level: 100 farming points

Soil Quality: Bountiful

Effect:

+.5% quality to produce grown on this field

+5% quantity to produce grown on this field

+5% to experience gained from this field

-.5% to the negative effect of pests and diseases

-.5% to the fertilizer required for this field

Yield: None

Huh, I could see the quality of the field. I just had to look through my upgrade interface, not my overlay. Ranic had missed teaching me that part. I put that thought aside, spent 9500 farming points to push the level to 100—and the field began to glow.

Unspecified Field

Level: 100

Soil Quality: Bountiful

Effect:

+10% quality to produce grown on this field

+100% quantity to produce grown on this field

+100% to experience gained from this field

-10% to the negative effect of pests and diseases

-10% to the fertilizer required for this field

Yield: None

Ranic smiled. “Perfect. Now, don’t spend the rest of those points. I’m going to need more fields this level for my plan to work.”

“What about the rest of the farm?”

“The five level bump to fields is more than enough.”

“Seriously?”

Ranic nodded. “Too many people get caught up in field levels thinking that two level 50 fields are just as good as one level 100. It just isn’t true. A single level 100 is worth more than a dozen fields half its level. Quality is key when it comes to large operations.”

“Fine…wait, not fine.” A thought suddenly occurred to me. “I need to spend some of those points.”

Ranic scowled. “On what?”

I ignored him and pulled up the interface, focusing on a single upgrade so I wouldn’t get bombarded with hundreds of options.

You have 246,847 farming points available.

In less than a second, I dumped 100,000 farming points into the Quick Foot upgrade and immediately felt the difference. It was like putting on the rings.

Ranic growled. “What did you do?”

“I purchased Quick Foot.”

“Why would you waste 100,000 points on walking faster? You’ve already doubled your speed with that damn ability and increased it further with those items. How much faster do you want to be?”

“As fast as I can handle. And you’re forgetting that it’s not just me anymore. The others are going to be manning the barns. That extra speed might save their lives.”

Ranic muttered angrily for several seconds. “Actions like this is why I didn’t tell you how to sell those upgrades. Next, you are going to want to increase your carrying capacity or halve the stamina cost.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

Ranic raised his finger. “Don’t you dare.”

He was talking to me like a child. I didn’t like that. “Lower that finger or we are going to have a problem.”

I wasn’t going to fight the old man. Not because he was old and not because he had more than a hundred points in strength and could slap me senseless with a light backhand, but because you just didn’t do that with people unless you absolutely had to. My father taught me that violence should always be your last option, but it should also almost always be an option. There were some situations where it was your only option, but this was far from one of them.

However, just because I wasn’t going to fight Ranic, it didn’t mean I was going to put up with this either.

Ranic glared but lowered his finger. “Do you know how long it will take you to replace the points you just spent?”

I shrugged.

“Years. You have an opportunity here, but if you go around making foolish decisions, you are going to squander that.”

“Ranic, we are going up against a giant. Its roar picked me up and threw me when I was halfway to the village. We need every advantage we can get just to survive because if we don’t, all this is pointless.”

Ranic glared. “I know. Don’t think I don’t. But those points are more important than you believe. Don’t spend anything else without discussing it with me.”

“I’m not going to promise that.”

“How about until after we deal with the giant, can you promise me until then?”

“You’re going to have me spend the rest by then, aren’t you?”

“That’s not the point.”

“It kind of is. I think you and I need to sit down after this and discuss your plans for my farm in a little more detail. I’m tired of these surprises.”

Ranic glared. “If that’s what you want.”

“It honestly isn’t, but I think it’s become necessary. Now let’s get this over with.”

Ranic nodded and led me through the trellises to the centre of the field where a small hole had been dug. A thin layer of white powder lined the bottom of the hole and there was a watering can and a pile of rich dark soil beside it.

Ranic handed me the pouch that contained the heritage seed. “You haven’t made any mistakes in a few days, but we’ll still go through the steps one more time and then I’ll call the others over.”

I nodded.

After learning my available mana was now 1530, Ranic managed to convince me to not just plant the seed but perform an expensive magical ritual while I did so. I’d spent days learning how. And I wasn’t going to waste this opportunity just because I was angry with him and wanted to do it out of spite.

Maybe that’s something I would have done when I first arrived in this weird world. But I had a lot of charisma now and it was much easier to keep my petty emotions in check. Valid anger was just as difficult, but pettiness wasn’t.

So I went through the process with Ranic, miming what I needed to do, practicing one last time.

When Ranic was satisfied, he called everyone over and had them form an audience twenty feet back.

Emily came up, dressed formally, and stood before the crowd. This was the village’s first heritage seed, a rare chance for her to act as a lord and gain experience while the abandonment order was in place. The only other time was when she opened the quarry and the noble experience gained was substantial.

Emily gave a rather inspiring speech, which had everyone nodding their heads in agreement. She finished with, “This is a monumental day for the growth of Blackwood.”

A round of applause went up along with a few cheers. Everyone here was devoted to the village or at least devoted enough to care. I saw a crystal of experience form in Emily’s hand as she stepped toward me.

“Landlord Arnold, I offer you my blessing as Lord of Blackwood. Plant this seed so that our village and your farm may grow together.”

Ranic leaned over and whispered, “You’ve got two more minutes before you can begin.”

I looked at the crowd. The smiths and carpenters were there with their families. Datter and the other masters had shown up along with all the various heads of the different guilds and projects, adding another eighty to the hundreds of farmers.

I cleared my throat in mock seriousness. “Sorry, everybody, but you’re going to have to stare at my pretty face for a couple of minutes. We didn’t time our speeches right. We are a little ahead of schedule.”

The crowd laughed.

“I don’t mind,” yelled an elderly woman from somewhere at the back.

The crowd laughed harder and then quickly broke out in conversation. Emily walked over to Ava’s oldest daughter, and the two began chatting. Wendell, the village drunk, opened one of the ale kegs, and more than half the men drifted off, forming a line to slake their thirst.

“It’s time,” Ranic said a few minutes later. Only a third of the men had managed to fill their tankards and they were annoyed they had to come back.

I pulled the drawstring on the pouch and removed a rainbow-coloured apple. The heritage seed was about as far from a typical seed as you could get. It wasn’t just the colour or the fact it looked like the fruit. It had an electric presence that made the hairs on my arms stand on end and it was hot to the touch like a mug of steaming coffee.

A prompt appeared as I pulled it out.

You have found a heritage seed. Would you like to plant it?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes.

Would you like to attempt to enhance the planting process with the reagents you have prepared?

Yes/No?

I selected Yes again.

You are 0% effective.

I knelt beside the bucket of rich dark soil, pulled out a handful, and put the seed on top. Then I grabbed another handful of soil and cupped the seed between the dirt, covering it completely. Wherever the soil touched the seed, it stuck, like it was held with glue. The rainbow colouring vanished under dark brown earth. Ranic wasn’t sure why covering the seed in soil before planting it was necessary, it was just one of the many mysteries of this world, but if you didn’t do it, you wouldn’t receive the experience bonus.

You are 6% effective.

I placed the soil covered seed on top of the powder at the bottom of the hole and then reached for the other pouch and scattered the rest of the fine white powder over it evenly.

You are 17% effective.

The easy part was over. Now it was time for the actual challenge. I began carving magical runes into the powder with my finger while reciting the incantation written on the unrolled scroll beside me.

For the first time since arriving, the mana bar in the corner of my vision started to drop. The further it dropped, the worse I felt. But I kept going, speaking the tongue-twisting incantation. It felt like I was pouring my soul into the words, like I was somehow losing part of me with each breath. If I hadn’t been warned about this, I would have stopped. A thumping headache formed and turned into a migraine that left me dizzy.

Still, I pushed on.

It took nearly six minutes to finish reciting the ritual. And by the time the scroll burst into flames, the pain had me slurring my words. The smoke from the scroll didn’t rise. Instead, it poured downwards, filling the hole. The runes I’d carved began to glow.

You are 47% effective.

The spell had taken a staggering 1,000 mana to perform and my mana bar was less than half full. I reached for the bucket of soil and filled in the hole, spreading the soil loosely.

You are 54% effective.

I picked up the watering can and poured the growth potion into the water, mixed it using the hand that I had placed the seed down with, and then poured it over the dirt.

You are 63% effective.

Ranic handed me a mana potion and I downed it, ignoring the foul medicinal taste. The migraine lessened but came back as I began the incantation on the second scroll. My mana bar stopped growing at 60%, the incantation draining it away as quickly as it filled before dropping once again and nearly bottoming out. Electric shocks ran through my body as I came to the end of the incantation.

I swayed as I stood.

You are 89% effective.

Your heritage seed has been planted.

+10% quality for level 100 field

+5% quality for level 5 crown’s mark

You are 104% effective at planting your heritage seed.

Ranic shoved a smaller mana potion into my hand as the ground began to shake, and I downed it as he pushed me backwards away from the seed. “Did you make it past 100%?”

“Just,” I said, choking on the potion.

A sapling shot out of the ground at Ranic’s feet, growing a foot every second. The old man grabbed it firmly, like you would an eel, and began wrestling with it, training it as it grew, shaping it in the direction he wanted it to develop. Within a matter of seconds, the sapling went from thumb to wrist thickness, growing past his head.

The old man didn’t flinch and his hands never stopped moving as he masterfully caught new branches and trained them in the directions he chose. The farmers in the crowd came forward transfixed as they watched the old man nimbly perform weeks of training in seconds, jumping from one task to another without mistake. He was a true master at work.

In less than two minutes, it was over.

And instead of a huge uncontrollable apple tree, there was a well-trained, eight-foot-tall apple hedge that went three yards in either direction. It was perfectly controlled, the kind of apple tree one might see in a modern industrial orchard. Dozens of cuttings lay scattered across the ground, branches that had tried to do their own thing and had been quickly stopped. Each one held the spark of potential.

Light enveloped me.

Well done, you have successfully planted a heritage seed. Planting a heritage seed qualifies you for your first threshold. Would you like to use this trial as your qualification for ascension? You have 60 seconds to make this decision or the opportunity will be lost.

Yes/No?

Yes. I didn’t let a single second pass.

Well done, you have passed through your first threshold. You may now choose a speciality.

Skilled Farmer

You are a man of the soil. You prefer an honest day’s work to sitting around and giving orders.

-You can now have 2 farmers under you who receive the same benefits of working on a farm as you do. These farmers cannot be other farm managers or skilled farmers.

-Each month, you receive a 10% experience bonus based upon the experience generated by the farmers directly under you.

Or

Farm manager

You are a man of dreams. You prefer to give orders and facilitate others in their work than do the work yourself.

-You can now have 4 farmers under you who receive the same benefits of working on your farm as you do. These farmers cannot be other Farm Managers, but they can be skilled farmers and have other farmers under them.

-Your promotions now apply to everyone working under you along with yourself, unless otherwise stated. (Identical promotions will default to the highest level promotion.)

-Work performed by farmers under you now applies to your future thresholds.

-Your attribute allotment will change to constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma.

The specialisations a farmer could choose weren’t great, but they weren’t terrible. If you never planned to run a huge farm, the skilled farmer was kind of awesome. You received experience from farmers under you and the percentage increased by 10% each time you passed through a threshold. You also gained buffs from the farm manager above you, on top of your own, which could make you a significantly better farmer than them. The tradeoff was having fewer farmers working under you than a farm manager, and none of their work counted towards your thresholds which made acquiring most of the best threshold boons impossible. However, it was a solid choice if you wanted to be a great farmer. A farm manager literally couldn’t compare.

But as someone who didn’t care about farming and never wanted to pick up a hoe again, I selected Farm Manager.

Well done, you have passed through your first threshold and become a Farm Manager. Since you used a heritage seed to achieve this, you have received a threshold boon. Since you were more than 100% effective, you have gained an advanced boon.

There is now a 2% chance that perfect crops grown from apple trees on your farm will produce a heritage seed.

As soon as I dismissed that prompt, another appeared.

Well done, you have passed through your threshold and gained access to your reserve of experience. Your reserve contained enough Farmer experience to increase your level multiple times. For passing through your threshold, you receive a 1 point increase to all of your base attributes instead of your regular attribute allotment.

Class: Farmer

Level: 49

Effects:

+49% to farming ability.

+49% to farming ability while on your farm.

Your Strength has increased by 1

Your Endurance has increased by 1

Your Dexterity has increased by 1

Your Agility has increased by 1

Your Constitution has increased by 13

Your Intelligence has increased by 13

Your Wisdom has increased by 13

Your Charisma has increased by 13

You have 24 unassigned attribute points.

Would you like to assign them?

Yes/No?

When we'd decided to take the loan, Ranic made me consume a few of the smaller experience crystals I’d gathered so I could immediately reach my second threshold after the first. I selected charisma and dumped all 24 unassigned points into it, then immediately felt my body begin to change.

You have promotions available. Would you like to select your promotions?

Yes/No?

This time I selected No.

Congratulations, you have reached level 49 and advanced enough to reach your second threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

I turned to the crowd, a big smile on my face.

“Threshold Party!”

The crowd roared their approval.

44

FINDING BALANCE

The following afternoon, far calmer than the day before, I went to find Ranic for our little chat. My good mood had a lot to do with who I woke up next to and how she woke me up. I hadn’t had a chance to look in a mirror since my jump in charisma, but if her reaction and the reaction of most of the women I had smiled at last night was any indication, I was now basically an underwear model. And I was totally getting laid more.

When I arrived at the house of scholars to talk to Ranic, the architect happily sent me to the orchard. I set off at a light jog which would trouble most galloping horses, finding the pace as effortless as walking, and arrived at the orchard to see Ranic bent over among the trellises taking care of the cuttings, planting them with parental level care.

He talked to the cutting while he worked, encouraging them to grow healthy and vibrant. He had a small smile on his face as if the troubles of the world couldn’t touch him here. I left him to his peace for a few more moments. This conversation would be challenging enough without pointlessly disturbing him. Ranic finished taking care of the cutting and stepped back.

“It’s time we talk about the future of my farm,” I said.

“Hand me the watering can, please,” Ranic said, pointing to it without looking over.

“I’m serious.”

Ranic sighed, straightened, and went to the watering can himself. He picked it up and scowled at me, losing his carefree attitude. “What do you think I’m doing here, Arnold?” His tone was layered with exhaustion, frustration, and patience.

“Planting apple trees.”

“Well I’m not. I’m planting the future of this farm. I’m setting up the first step in what could be a legacy.”

“What’s your problem then?”

Ranic looked at the watering can for a second then met my gaze, aging in seconds. “My problem is you can’t be bothered lifting a watering can to help that legacy along and yet you have the audacity to question my actions and decisions. My problem is you treat this like it’s a game, like the hundreds and thousands of lives you will affect through this farm don’t matter. My problem is you want to make decisions over what goes on, yet you’re not willing to sit down and learn the basics because you don’t like farming. My problem is you’re not qualified to run a farm this size and you don’t want to gain those qualifications. And I’m not talking about actual work. You don’t need to do that, but you need to understand the theory. Or you need to let someone who does understand and knows what they are doing take care of it.”

Ranic gripped the watering can too firmly, buckling the metal handle, as he returned to the newly planted cutting, and began watering it around the base. He shook with visible anger as he worked. He couldn’t even look at me.

How long had he been holding that in?

Too long, by the look of it.

As much as I wanted to yell at him, I didn’t. I had been ready for a difficult discussion when I arrived. The problem was, this wasn’t a difficult discussion. Ranic was just stating facts. And I couldn’t argue with facts.

Everything he said was true. I hadn’t bothered learning anything I didn’t want to. That had been fine when it was just me, but I was now responsible for others. And it wasn’t just a few others; it was going to be hundreds and then maybe thousands. The party last night had been enormous and made up of mostly people who depended on me for their livelihood.

I sighed. “Thank you for being honest. I need to think about what you have said.”

I walked away, weaving my way through the trellises. It wasn’t long before I realised Ranic had planted out the whole field. Every spot was taken. The old man had been working while I slept the day away. The king’s words to Jeric came to mind with that thought.

“Honoured watchman who stood guard while I slept, your duty is done. Now take your rest.”

The words were deceptively simple.

And yet so applicable to my situation.

Ranic wanted me to either take the farm seriously, investing my time and effort into learning what that involved, or give the responsibility to someone else more suited to it. It was a fair and reasonable position to have, considering the circumstances.

It meant I had a question to answer.

Did I want to give up control of my farm and let another more skilled individual take my place, or did I want to be in charge? Not in charge in name, but in action. And not fruitless action either. Because right now, any decision I made could be fruitless. I didn’t know the basics beyond what I had read, and most of that had to do with individual skills, not running a major farm. I could easily make a mistake through ignorance. And that was what was frustrating Ranic.

It was frustrating me too because I kept seeing things done in my name that I knew nothing about.

Sure, I’d never wanted to run a farm. My aspirations had only been for the bare minimum to get me through my thresholds. A simple orchard with a few hundred fields that Ranic could teach those under me to produce exceptional crops on was the height of my ambition. In that scenario, I’d be a small part of the village while I leveled to 100.

That wasn’t possible now. Not at all. Yes, I could still step back, but the things done in my name would no longer be small. I was a landlord. I owned the vast majority of an overpriced village. And I hadn’t put much effort into finding out what that involved. I’d just handed it off to Ranic. I’d gained the Woods’ Master title without even knowing it.

And then, like a child, I’d gotten annoyed when he didn’t tell me I had, but I could have discovered that for myself at any point in time. I’d actively chosen not to.

Right now, all that was history.

The question that mattered going forward was: did I want to be in charge? Not in the day-to-day monotony of farmwork, but in the big picture. Or was I perfectly happy playing in my barn and killing monsters?

It was a hell of a question.

Thoughts bounced around my skull until I found myself beside the apple tree that had grown from the heritage seed. The wood and leaves had a lively glow to them, making me think that the tree was more than the sum of its parts. There was a feeling to it unlike anything from home that I could only describe as magic.

I reached out and touched the trunk expecting to feel something other than wood. I didn’t. Smooth bark met my fingertips.

A prompt appeared.

Congratulations, your heritage seed has grown into a Heritage Tough Apple tree. For planting a heritage seed on your farm, you receive 1000 farming points.

Heritage Tree Type: Tough Apple

Level: 0

You can plant 1 field with cuttings from this tree. The trees grown from these cuttings will reach full maturity in a month rather than a year. Crops grown from these trees will give experience to this tree to help it gain levels.

I dismissed the prompt.

Well done, by correctly planting the heritage seed through the use of magic and reagents you have accelerated its growth. Your heritage tree has gained a level. For leveling your heritage tree, you gain 1000 farming points.

Heritage Tree Type: Tough Apple

Level: 1

You can plant up to 10 fields with cuttings from this tree. The trees grown from these cuttings will reach full maturity in a month rather than a year. Crops grown from these trees will give experience to this tree to help it gain levels.

Effect:

+1 farming points per day.

+10 stamina regeneration from consuming a tough apple rather than a common apple.

I stared at the prompt.

All I’d wanted to do was plant the stupid seed and get through my threshold, so I didn’t have to do the work on my farm myself. Ranic was the one who’d pressured me into doing it correctly. If I hadn’t listened to him, the tree wouldn’t have leveled and it would only be a tenth as good. I hadn’t considered the longterm consequences of my actions, but he had. Learning the ritual hadn’t even been that hard. It had only taken a week. Waiting for the spell components to arrive had been the biggest hurdle.

If I had done things my way then the farm would now be…less. That’s what Ranic was angry about, I realised. He’d taken an oath to do his best, and I was getting in the way of that, making his life harder than it needed to be. I’d be angry too in that situation. The restraints oaths put on you were not pleasant.

I let go of the tree and dismissed the prompt.

I’d let the giant take all of my attention. I hadn’t thought beyond it. So maybe I needed to. What did I want from the future other than killing the giant? What did I want from my farm when all this was done?

It occurred to me that the extra charisma was changing me in more than the purely physical sense because I’d never been this introspective before. Or this reasonable. And I had the memory to know that for a fact. There was none of the self-doubt and inflation of problems that I’d had in the past. I wasn’t running away either. Maybe this was what it felt like to be an emotionally stable individual? Was this what it was like to look at your problems objectively?

I could see why people with that ability were happier.

I took a seat on the grass beside the tree, lay back, and began to think through my actions and desires. I thought about the farm and what it needed, and tried to see how I fit into that picture. Then I thought about the village and how I fit into that picture.

There were no easy answers.

Hours later, near sunset, I was still lying there thinking when Salem showed up. He padded through the grass and sat by me, purring softly.

“Ranic thought you might need some company,” he said.

“He’s probably right.”

“He’s an astute individual, which is why I find it odd that he is so upset with you. Now that I am here, I can see the feeling is mutual. What are you trying to achieve from glaring at the sky?”

“I’m trying to find where I fit in this world.”

Salem’s purr changed tone. “Ah, I see your confusion. You’ve made an incorrect assumption you believe is the truth and are trying to validate it.”

“Huh?”

“People don’t fit anywhere, Arnold. You aren’t building materials that are made to fit a perfect purpose. There is no place set aside where you perfectly slot into. No place which exists in adulthood, anyway. If you go around expecting to find that place, you will only find frustration and disappointment.”

“So, if I can’t find where I fit in this world, what can I do?”

“You get to know yourself, your skills, your limitations, your hopes and fears, you understand your shape and substance, and then make a place in the world that fits you.”

That made a surprising amount of sense. And it was as if I had been waiting to hear it because thoughts and feelings that had been rolling around inside of me finally slid into place.

I knew what I had to do.

* * *

Half an hour later, I was sitting in Emily’s parlour with Jeric and Ranic. An open bottle of wine sat on the table and we were each sipping from a glass. The others waited for me to speak. I had enough charisma to make an impromptu speech, but that didn’t seem to come into effect with a serious conversation. Or maybe it did and the conversation I was about to have was simply that difficult that it wouldn’t happen.

I took another sip to stall for time and finally began. “I need your help. I’ve said it again and again that I’m not interested in being a farmer. However, it wasn’t until today that I realised that it’s been frustrating me that I’m building a farm. Don’t get me wrong, I’m smart enough to do the work and could probably thrive at it if I forced my mind to it, but I don’t have any personal interest in doing so. It isn’t in my nature. It actually aggravates me to do it. If I have to be in charge of developing the farm, I’m going to be miserable.”

Jeric looked like he was going to reply. I held up my hand, stalling him.

I met Ranic’s gaze and saw only a little of our earlier frustration there. “I realised that between you and Jeric, you have all the skills you need to make my farm grow. I don’t. That is clear to me. So I want to step back. I know I’ve already done that, for the most part, leaving the two of you to organise everything, but I want to make it official. I want the two of you to be in charge. However, I have one condition that I can’t concede. I need to know what’s going on. I need to know the direction you are taking this farm. As much as I don’t want to be involved, it annoys me that I’m out of the loop.”

Ranic opened his mouth to speak, but Jeric waved him down. “We should start this conversation by catching Arnold up on our progress before we ask any questions.”

Ranic frowned but nodded.

Jeric turned to me. “What do you want to know?”

“Let’s start with the plan. What are you going to grow, where are you going to grow it, and why? Then we can move on to the fact that most of the villagers are leaving and how you are going to fix that.”

Ranic cleared his throat, checked if Jeric was going to speak, and then dove in. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I need to say this for context before I talk about what I want to grow and why. I’ve laid out a longterm plan to grow this village into a town using your farm to do so. The end goal is to have a farm with 50,000 fields.”

Okay, that explained why I felt like Ranic was keeping things from me—because he was. I took a deep breath, forcing myself not to become angry. “Continue.”

“Now, if we ignore the end goal and focus on what you currently have at your disposal, the plan is quite simple. We will cultivate 5,000 fields on the village's southern side into five apple orchards grown from tough apple heritage trees. And before you ask, yes, I did know when you planted the heritage seed that it would develop into a tough apple. Of the 42 varieties of apple trees that can spontaneously appear when you plant a heritage seed, there are a dozen that you can choose based upon your planting method. The reason I chose tough apples is simple. They are robust. They make it much easier to produce a perfect crop. They also have a storage life that is three times longer than a regular apple, though that is the limit of what makes them special. However, having considered the location of the village, a longer-lasting apple is preferable over something that must rush to market.”

“Okay, I can follow that.”

“To the north of the village, in the lower lands, I plan to cultivate 5,000 fields of rice into five rice paddies. Rice has an exceptionally long storage life which will make it hard for the regent to manipulate the market against us. If she is somehow successful, we will always have the option of selling to the dwarves, though they won’t take anything lower than exceptional quality, and you will lose some of the profit to transportation costs. Also, with the reservoir, there is ample water to flood the fields which will remove many weed and pest issues. The 3,000 fields on the western side of the village will be devoted to supplying the village’s needs, providing various foods and independence from outside necessity, with any excess sold off for profit. This, of course, does not include the farms you were unable to purchase. The 2,000 fields on the eastern side of the village will be devoted to animal feed, so there won’t be much longterm financial damage if a troll gets past your barn and starts destroying fields.”

That was all reasonable. “What about the forests and quarry?”

Ranic frowned. “They aren’t my area of expertise. Jeric?”

Jeric shrugged. “The forests have never been profitable. Even your crown’s mark hasn’t changed that. They were only ever developed out of necessity to service the needs of the village. That will change if they reach level five. But by the time that happens, the jewels and random minerals from the quarry will have made their profits insignificant.”

“It’s really that bad?”

Jeric nodded. “Yes, it’s partly to do with how far goods will have to travel to reach the market and partly to do with the fact that wood is an abundant resource in the kingdom. That being said, once the giant is dealt with, I was going to suggest you use one of the magical buildings the crown owes you to build a lumber mill instead of constructing the basic versions Ranic planned. It would significantly increase both the quality and quantity of what the forest can produce and increase its profitability.”

Ranic scowled.

“You don’t agree?” I asked.

He shook his head. “It’s wasteful. Magical buildings are a precious commodity. They should be used to develop people, not resources.”

Now Jeric was scowling. “What would you suggest instead?”

“A schoolhouse for the children or a second house of scholars so I don’t have to deal with that insufferable woman,” Ranic replied dryly. “Built sooner rather than later, of course.”

“Arnold’s not building a second house of scholars just because you and Adoya don’t get along,” Jeric said.

“Then let him build it for the advantages it could give him. During the siege of Dolster two hundred years ago, the traps on the wall made the trapsmith’s house of scholars grow from level one to three, causing those traps to gain stronger camouflage abilities and do more damage. It’s the only reason they held out for as long as they did.”

Jeric lost some of his scowl.

“I’ll consider it,” I said.

Ranic nodded.

I looked between the two of them. “Okay, those are the basics of your plans for the village. So what are you going to do about the villagers leaving once the project’s finished?”

“Nothing,” Ranic said. “We need them out of the village to deal with the giant.”

“What about after the giant?”

“Jeric’s organising that.”

Jeric sighed. “I was planning to bring this up at another time, but do you remember your suggestion before the ascension ball? The one where you suggested I go to other nobles and offer to take those individuals they had no interest in?”

That wasn’t exactly what I’d said, but Jeric was clearly going somewhere with this, so I didn’t point it out. “Yeah, we thought you might be able to use it to leverage the extra experience Emily needed.”

He nodded. “Well, even though we didn’t use that idea, I still made a few inquiries, and I happened to learn how extensive the problem is. Here in the north, we are insulated from most of the fighting with the orcs, but down in the south, it is bad—terrible, actually. Whole cities have been displaced in the last three decades. There are tens of thousands of people who can’t work in their class profession because they don't have the resources they need in the cities where they are staying. There are thousands of orphaned farmers’ children whose parents couldn’t give them the starting experience they needed, so they either have to sign up for the militia or become servants. I want to give them a place here in Blackwood, a place on your farm. You were ready to consider helping a hundred children. I want to do more.”

“The plan would have been to help them become farmers over a decade. And we need workers now. How do you plan to do that? Where is all the experience going to come from…?”

Damn it.

Jeric nodded, seeing my comprehension. “Killing that giant will create enough experience for hundreds of those farmers to reach level ten. From there, they will be able to work the rice fields and gain their own experience. Once the assistant scholars arrive from the capital to help Ranic man the house of scholars, we will have the people we need to train them, and since they will only need to know how to grow the one crop, they can be trained quickly and effectively.”

I tried to keep my tone calm. “You want me to give away thousands of crowns worth of experience?”

Jeric waved away my statement. “No. I want you to loan it to them. Between your experience buffs and the buff from the house of scholars, they will be able to pay you back within a decade. I know that’s a long time, but please consider this request. You will change their lives for the better.”

A decade. Holy crap. That was a long time. And it put things in perspective for me. I’d gone from level 1 to 24 in the space of just a few months by killing monsters on my farm. The idea that it would take these people a decade just to get enough experience to pay back their debt for getting to level 10 upset me more than the idea of giving away or loaning away all my hard-earned experience.

The fact that this was considered changing their lives for the better made me feel even worse.

After a minute of silent thought, I sighed. “I want to say yes, Jeric, but I need to know if we can afford to pay back the loan to the bank without the gold from selling that extra experience before I do. Because, as far as I can tell, there is no way I can afford to pay back that loan without it.”

Ranic coughed, half smiling. “Oh, that’s my fault. I must not have made it clear. It’s impossible to pay the loan back in three years. The bank actually doesn’t want you to do so either. In three years, they will just issue another loan that you are allowed to use to pay back the first.”

“I know that. I remember from the meetings.”

The two of them stared at me, confused.

I swallowed the uneasy feeling that was beginning to stir in my gut. “Did neither of you consider that the regent would go to the bank and stop them from issuing that second loan? I mean, the method we created for inflating the value of land here is now semi-public knowledge, so I’m surprised the bank hasn’t accused us of fraud already. I don’t expect we will receive that second instalment even though we have a contract.”

They both went pale.

The feeling in my gut grew worse.

The two men’s eyes fell and they stared at the table, lost for words. I could see the thoughts going through their heads as they worked through the ramifications.

After a minute, Ranic looked at me, face expressionless, but eyes lost. “We can’t pay back the loan. It’s not possible. It can’t be done. Not with basic crops. Not even if you add the experience from the giant.” His voice came out hollow.

For some weird reason, I found Ranic’s morose shock liberating. It was a confirmation that I was on a sinking ship. The feeling of unease was still there, but the paranoia was suddenly gone.

I’d been wondering how they planned to pay everything back for weeks. It was one of the reasons why I’d been getting so upset with their extra spending and their lack of answers. But I hadn’t wanted to look into it because that involved too much thinking about farming. Maybe if I had spoken up sooner, we would be in a better position. However, it probably wouldn’t have mattered. With the regent against us, an ordinary farm was never going to work.

My farm was doomed to fail.

Several minutes passed in silence as we all tried to come to terms with that fact. I wasn’t nearly as disheartened as the others. For me, the farm was only ever a means to an end. I wanted out of the farming class and it was the vessel to take me there. That was all I had wanted from it. A chance to choose my future instead of being stuck in a system I hated…just like the poor bastards that didn’t have the basic experience to farm properly.

Crap.

Being stuck in a situation you didn’t want or like with no control over your future was horrible. Having a system actively work against you to keep you there was worse. The people Jeric wanted to help were me without my trap method. They were people stuck at the lowest level with no way to pull themselves out. Traditional farming certainly wasn’t going to get them anywhere. I mean, holy fuck, I had to fight trolls to get out of my situation. I almost died. The only reason I wasn’t like them was I had a lifetime’s worth of experience and ideas that they didn’t have access to. If I were just some regular guy born in this world, I wouldn’t have had a chance. They didn’t have a chance.

And because they didn’t have a chance, if I did nothing when I could do something, then I’d be no different from the system keeping them locked at the lowest level. I’d be a complete asshole.

“Let’s do it,” I said quietly.

I’d learnt I wasn’t as good a man as I’d thought I was before coming to this world, but I was good enough to do this.

“Do what?” Ranic replied.

“Let’s loan the experience to those farmers. Let’s loan it all to them. If we can’t pay back the bank’s loan, then this farm is doomed. So until it is, let’s do the most good. Let’s train these people up and help them.”

The two of them looked at me with a new level of shock.

Jeric recovered first. “You can’t ignore the loan. That’s people’s savings. The economic ramifications are far-reaching.”

“I’m not. Well, not entirely. Ranic, how much will the farm be worth once everything is up and running?”

Ranic thought about it for a few seconds. “If we didn’t expand past 15,000 fields, it will be worth between 30,000 and 40,000 crowns. That would include all the additional property you bought with the loan and the quarry. Most of the extra value comes from having a lord who has passed through her first threshold and the fact that there is a house of scholars with a master farming scholar.”

“How much gold can we earn in that time?”

“Ten thousand,” he said hesitantly.

“So if they sold up the assets I put up as collateral, worse case, they would only lose a fifth of their investment, right?” The two men nodded. “Well, that’s not so bad. I mean, people won’t lose everything and the bank isn’t going to go bankrupt. And we can put the experience that we loan to these people up as further collateral, so in a way, they might not lose much in the long-run, just the potential profits that could be made from investing elsewhere.”

The two men began nodding their heads. Slowly they began to smile, and the sense of impending doom left the room.

“We’re going to help people and damn the consequences,” Jeric said happily.

“Well, there will be consequences for me,” I said.

Ranic snorted. “You mean us. My manor is still next door to Beldose’s, remember.” He huffed out a breath. “If we go through with your plan, I will have a little more than two years to get you through three thresholds. It is going to be a challenge, but I’ll succeed.”

I blinked. “You can still manage to get me through in that timeframe?”

Ranic made a so-so motion with his hand. “I’ll have to take all sorts of shortcuts. The boons you receive would be significantly less valuable than the ones you would obtain if done properly, but it is still possible.”

I grinned. “Thank you.”

Ranic shrugged, clearly unhappy with the idea of less-than-perfect results.

“So that’s the new plan then,” Jeric said.

“Seems like it,” Ranic said. “Though I preferred the old one. Now, are you happy to let me be in charge of this, Arnold?”

“That depends. Are you happy to give me daily updates on progress and days of warning before unexpected expansion?”

Ranic frowned. “What sort of progress do you want to know about and what sort of warning do you expect?”

“Well, knowing about things like a second reservoir would be nice, and the fact that Arnold’s Hill is going to be twice its current height. And maybe ask for my input before you put my name on something.”

Jeric cleared his throat. “How about I start giving you daily briefings? I’ll fill them with every detail we can think of at first and you decide whether or not you needed to know those particular details. It will take a few months, but we should be able to discover what sort of information you want to know.”

“That’s a good idea,” Ranic said. “Though, the briefings are going to be rather short until we’ve dealt with the giant. That will be when the real work begins. So once again, are you happy with this arrangement, Arnold?”

“I think so,” I said slowly. “I know I’m happier facing down a troll or a pack of wolves in my barn than growing crops. And you two are by far the best choice for making that happen. I think as long as I’m not out of the loop like before, this arrangement might work for all of us.”

“It’s comments like that which make me doubt your sanity sometimes,” Ranic said. “No sane individual would rather stare down a troll than pick fruit.”

“It’s probably for the best,” Jeric said. “No one else would voluntarily bait a giant.”

“Speaking of baiting a giant, since we’re building a second reservoir, why don’t we build some monster holding pits to go along with it?”

45

OTHER REVENUE

Emily frowned as I placed the polished wooden box on the table and opened the lid. I began removing the pieces Kiln had crafted for me. Without my new and improved memory, I never even would have attempted this project. There had been too many things to remember. Now it was as simple as focusing for a couple of hours.

I began setting up the board.

Jeric placed a tray of snacks at the other end of the table and walked over. It was early afternoon on the sixth day. Everyone in the village had put their work aside and was taking a break.

“So this is how you hope to repay the loan,” Jeric said.

“Yeah, I had the idea shortly after getting to Blackwood but couldn’t remember exactly how much of everything I needed.”

Isabelle put her glass of wine down and reached for the pieces of paper I had written the rules on. “Why is there a board with pieces, cards, and dice? Is it three separate games or very complex?”

I kept placing tiles down. “It’s one game, and it’s not that complex at all.”

“It doesn’t look simple,” Jeric said.

I hated explaining the rules of board games to people. I always used to let my friends do it. “I promise you once you understand the rules it is far simpler than chess.”

“What does Catan mean?” Emily asked.

Her question surprised me and I began searching my memory. “I have no idea. It’s just the name of the game.”

* * *

The whole family was waiting for me at the door the following sixth day. Anticipation and excitement filled them. I hadn’t realised exactly how big of a deal tabletop games could be in a world without computers. They loved Settlers of Catan, playing game after game. Emily had introduced it to Ava’s daughter and now their family wanted a set too.

Emily grinned. “What’s this one called?”

I chuckled. “Munchkin.”

* * *

“Isabelle, love of my life, joy of my heart, most beautiful woman in the kingdom, whose generosity knows no limit,” Jeric said, smiling at his wife while holding her hand.

Isabelle calmly pulled her hand out of his grasp. “Flattery will get you nowhere, husband. You landed on my hotel and now you must pay.”

Jeric looked pained. “My love, can’t we compromise and create a deal? I’ll have to sell two of my houses just to pay you. How about you take half now and then wait until I pass Go to receive the rest. I’ll even give you an extra 50 for being so benevolent.”

Isabelle smiled. “No.”

Jeric’s face turned red and he grumbled as he removed two of his houses from the board.

Emily leaned over and whispered in my ear between giggles. “I see why you said this game is known to destroy families.”

46

A HELPFUL ADDITION

After months of waiting, the highly anticipated prompt appeared.

Would you like to activate your reservoir?

Yes/No?

I selected No. The reservoir starting to fill with water was definitely not what I wanted.

I took my hand off the granite block, and pulled it back from the edge of the reservoir, only to plant it down firmly and leaned out a little further, looking over the side and into the two-hundred and fifty-foot deep pit. I could see exactly where the top third which was constructed from concentrated granite blocks, connected to the bedrock they’d carved into. Being here was like being on the side of a cliff; only a cliff had never been this smooth, so maybe it was more like being at the top of a skyscraper. Either way, it was a long way down. The idea that anything could survive that fall, let alone survive it after falling on steel spikes, just didn’t add up.

But then the idea of sprinting at a hundred miles an hour didn’t add up either and I now did that every day. So maybe I just didn’t understand the math I was trying to do.

I couldn’t make out any of the holes that had been drilled into the stone at the bottom of the pit for the spikes to slot in. The spikes were no bigger than spears, so the giant couldn’t use them to damage the walls. That made them less effective as a weapon, but Quilly and Adoya fought against making them bigger, and I’d be a complete idiot to ignore their opinions.

Ava and her husband were almost done with the spears’ steelwork, and Kiln had long since finished the wooden shafts, so we were only a few days away from the installation.

I turned my gaze to the eighty-foot-wide tower in the centre of the reservoir. The mason guild had done an excellent job on it. The top of the tower was perfectly level with the ground I was standing on. Having it right in the middle of the quarry had significantly reduced the building cost, but it was still an expense whose sole purpose was to catch a giant. It would even have to be cut out in the future if the next owner wanted to use the reservoir to full capacity.

So I was looking at a literal money pit.

I heard the others approaching at a fast jog, and I stepped back from the edge, turning to wave. Manson and Pel returned the gesture. Lenlin gave me a nod. None of them were challenged by their pace. They were now officially farmhands on my farm which allowed them to take advantage of the speed boost I'd purchased. It also meant any trap they installed would finally produce farmer experience when it killed a monster, so all the barns were finally ready.

Quilly paused her conversation with Adoya to nod at them. Ranic stood with Jeric as far away from Adoya as possible.

The bickering the two of them had become famous for had settled down in the past few weeks, after all the contract workers left Blackwood, but they still did not enjoy each other’s company, despite the need to study together. It had taken me weeks to discover what the problem was. It was fandom. Scholars, at least the good ones, were fanboys for their chosen field, and like any fanboy, they thought their fandom was the best, and every other paled in comparison. Put two different fanboys in a room and every conversation was going to end in an argument. There must have been some sort of magical effect at the academy to stop this, because there had been thousands of them there and they all seemed to get along respectfully.

I put those thoughts out of my head and nodded to Quilly that she could begin, trying to focus on the present, and not what the future had in store.

“Alright,” she roared, bubbling over with enthusiasm. “I know you’ve been enjoying using Ranic’s new house of scholars to learn how to grow apples, but we’re finally back to building traps. And this one is the big boy you’ve all been waiting for. The fucking giant catcher. You all know what the end product will be, so I’m not going to go over that again. The steps are simple enough and the anchors, cables, support netting, and canvas are already prepared. This is just like we practiced. All you have to do is winch it into place, tie it down, and tighten it until it screams for mercy. Redcliff confirmed that it's eighteen days until the next rain, so we need the canvas in place by then. If it isn't, we’re going to have the grass sprout at different times and ruin the camouflage effect we are trying to achieve. Any questions?”

Lenlin raised his hand.

Quilly grinned. “Alright, let’s get started.”

“But I have a question.”

“Fine, Lenlin. What’s your question?”

“Did anyone bring lunch?”

Quilly lost a little of her enthusiasm. “Does anyone have a serious question that’s not pulled out of their ass?”

“That is a serious question. It takes time to go over to the middle of the tower using the pulley system and harness, and that means that when its lunch it’s going to take extra time for those people to come back and then return. So bringing lunch over there will save whoever is over there time.”

“Okay, you’ve actually got a point there. Did anyone bring lunch?” Everyone shook their heads. “Alright, remember that for tomorrow—we’ll just have to take the extra time today. Let’s get to work.”

Quilly turned and started walking towards the line of parked wagons along the reservoir’s edge. I moved to follow her.

Adoya tapped me on the shoulder. “Arnold, if I could have a moment of your time.”

I turned back, trying not to roll my eyes. “I keep telling you that you don’t have to thank me for your house of scholars every time you see me.”

Adoya should have been thanking Ranic, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. He’d argued for days to convince me to build it for her. Explaining that if my trapping method worked, expanding my method across the kingdom would require more time, research, and training than anywhere in the kingdom could currently supply. The class was extremely rare, making Adoya’s new house of scholars the only one of its kind in the kingdom.

Adoya gave me a smile that crinkled her face further and leaned on her cane more heavily. “For once, this isn’t about that. I think I can finally be of service in a form other than trap design. It’s taken a few months of Ranic’s teaching, but I understand enough of farming art to help you. If you would indulge me, it should only take a few minutes.”

“Okay,” I said, suddenly interested. “Do you need me to do something?”

“Yes, I would like you to focus on the reservoir so that your farm's interface highlights it for you.”

I turned and looked at the reservoir, focusing as she said. After half a minute—it took so long mainly due to my lack of skill—the reservoir began to glow with a soft yellow light. “It’s highlighted.”

“Good, now while focusing, I need you to think about how dangerous it is. How it is designed to trap and kill a giant. I need you to picture what it will do to that giant and what it will do to you if the canvas doesn’t hold your weight and you fall in.”

I started picturing what she said. Several minutes went by. “Is something supposed to happen?”

“Yes. Let me try another method. I’ll describe what you should be thinking and you imagine it.”

She began describing the pitfall in detail, far more detail than I’d actually been imagining. Her words formed complex images. She added smells, sounds, the feel of the canvas under my feet, and the nauseating sensation of dropping when I fell in.

The reservoir highlight colour suddenly changed to red. One by one, Jeric, Lenlin, Manson, and Pel jumped as they each looked in the direction of the reservoir. As members of my farm they could all see the same hazards I could.

“It changed to red,” I said. “Was that what you wanted?”

She turned and checked the others, who were now all looking at the reservoir, confused. A smile exploded across her face as a huge clear crystal of experience formed in her hand. “That is exactly what I wanted.”

“So what’s the point of this?”

“The point is your farm now recognises that the reservoir is a trap. It is highlighting it the same way it would any natural hazard, even in total darkness.”

“Okay, that’s useful.” Like really, really useful.

“Yes. Trapsmiths have the ability to see their traps and the hazard they pose naturally. I assumed farmers would have to rely on their memories—until Ranic began teaching me about the farming interface. Even then, it took me weeks to figure out how this effect could be triggered as it has never been done before. That man was adamant that farmers could not make their farm recognise a hazard citing countless notes and passages. In all fairness, he is correct, as a trap isn’t a traditional hazard.”

Excitement filled me. “I can do this to the traps in my barn and the pitfalls in the fields outside, can’t I?”

She smiled. “Yes. I know it’s not going to make your job much easier, but it should make it a lot safer.”

I returned her smile. This was a big deal. “Thank you. You’ve probably just saved someone’s life. Possibly mine.”

She patted my arm in a very grandmotherly way. “I’m glad I could help. I’m also glad you’re in such a good mood because my next request will be asking for a lot.”

I sighed. Of course she wasn’t just here to give me the information even though I was employing her. There had to be a catch. “What do you need?”

She dropped her gaze and began massaging her right hand. “Ranic came to me with a proposal that I’m sorry to say makes me uncomfortable.”

“Uh-huh…what sort of proposal?”

“He’s offered to loan me the experience I need to reach my fourth threshold. Apparently, he’s been storing everything past what he needed to reach his fourth threshold for the past five decades.”

Damn, that was a lot of experience.

“And that makes you uncomfortable?”

“Yes, how could I possibly face him and treat him as an equal if he has this over me? I can’t…I couldn’t…and I need to work with the man. Despite his many faults, he has an exceptional mind. I believe the two of us can make significant discoveries like the one today if we continue to work together.”

“But you can’t do that if he has this loan over you?”

“No. This will sound ridiculous, but I’ve always been a pushover when it comes to owing people. I find myself agreeing to all sorts of unreasonable proposals. And like with you, with my new trapsmith house of scholars, I thank them every time I see them. I’ll never be able to work effectively with him.”

“Okay, but I don’t see why you brought this to me.”

“I brought it to you because I’d like you to buy the experience from him and loan it to me.”

“That just sounds like you loaning it from him with more steps.”

“Weren’t you listening? I would owe you, not him. That’s the point. I’m already in your debt, adding more won’t change my behaviour to you.”

The whole situation seemed unnecessarily convoluted, but I didn’t want to turn her down. Having Adoya at level 99 would increase the village-wide trapsmith experience bonus from her house of scholars from 4.3% to 9.9%, not to mention level her house of scholars to level two, doubling those benefits. It would also potentially increase her lifespan by decades.

“I’m going to be blunt,” I said. “Will you put your unassigned attributes in strength or something else? I know I can’t legally force you to do so, but I’m not going to give you such a big loan only to have you die in a couple of years because your heart gives out. The kind of loan you’re talking about is going to have me owing Ranic almost as much as I do for this reservoir.”

I was serious. If she wasn’t going to put it in strength I wouldn’t even talk to Ranic. Worker protection laws prevented an employer from taking employees’ experience or directing their selection of attributes, outside of specific situations. The only legal power over experience I had with my employees was use enforcement. I could make it so they had to consume all the experience they gained on my farm themselves. It was the reason most classes had a market for experience. Every employer wanted their workers to level as quickly as possible.

“That was blunt but understandable given the circumstances. I do intend to put every unassigned point into strength and I am willing to take another oath to that if that is what you require.”

I sighed. “Fine, let me see if he’ll agree to sell it to me.”

I turned. Ranic was helping the others unload the cart, using his monstrous strength to do the heavy lifting. I didn’t bother walking over to him. I was that annoyed by the situation. “Hey, Ranic! Adoya is uncomfortable accepting the experience loan from you! Can I buy the experience off you to loan it to her instead?”

Adoya grabbed my arm and squeezed. “What are you doing?”

“Buying experience.”

“Couldn’t you have done so privately?”

“Yes, but this is faster.” I waved at Ranic. “What do you say?”

Ranic frowned. “Couldn’t you have done this privately?”

“Yes, but this is faster!”

“Fine, we’ll have dinner tonight and talk over the purchase.”

I turned to Adoya. “He’s okay with the idea. Do you need me to deal with anything else?”

She scowled at me. “No.”

* * *

The trap for the giant was finished. Thick green grass surrounded me in all directions. The canvas was held up by an intricate web of bridge cabling and enough rope nets to service an entire fishing industry. If the area didn’t have the red highlight, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the trap was there until I stepped on it and felt the trampoline-like give of the canvas and cables which made it immediately noticeable.

I pulled my hands away from the warding pole I’d finished inserting into the slot and looked over at Adoya. 56 levels worth of attributes had done wonders for her youth and her height. The wrinkles were gone, so was the cane. She no longer appeared tired or frail. She even claimed her mind was sharper than it had ever been in her youth.

I made my way over to her, noticing she was now taller than Quilly.

She looked out at the grass-covered reservoir, smiling. Her heavy backpack rested on the ground beside her. “When you came to speak with me at the academy, I knew that following a bearer of the crown’s mark would lead me to something interesting, something that could change the kingdom, but this is far more amazing than I anticipated. You are truly going to do it. You are going to kill or capture a giant.”

I smiled.

Months ago, I’d stood in Jeric’s parlour outlining the objectives we needed to complete in order to succeed. The reservoir had been the biggest and hardest one. Nevertheless, now, it and all the others were done.

I didn’t have any of the reservations I’d had in the past.

Jeric and the others were all more prepared and skilled than I had been the last time the giant showed up. They knew when to trigger and when not to. They knew what sorts of risks they should take and what they should run from. They were as ready as they would ever be.

“I’m going to try,” I said.

“I rarely give praise, so listen to my words. If you fail, it will not be because of this trap. You and your people’s work is impeccable.”

“Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. Now when do you plan to start baiting the forest?”

I groaned. “I would like to start tomorrow afternoon. Most of the people that are still in Blackwood are ready to abandon the village tomorrow morning; however, the holdouts are being difficult.”

“You paid them to take an oath like the rest of the villagers so they know the risks of staying. If they choose to remain, it is on them.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and scratched the back of my head. “I wish that were true. But it’s not like the giant is going to randomly appear. I’m going to bring it here.”

She nodded. “Have you tried bribing them?”

“It wouldn’t go over well. They seem like proud people. They could have made a small fortune selling me their land, but they chose not to. If money couldn’t make them leave then, it’s not likely to make them leave now.”

Adoya patted my arm. “They might be proud people who want to stay, but I doubt that is what is keeping them here.”

“What do you mean?”

“One thing Ranic has taught me is that unlike you, the farmers in Blackwood are poor. I don’t doubt they love their land, but they may not be staying because of that love. They may be staying because they are too poor to leave and too proud to admit it.”

“If that is the case, how do you bribe proud people?”

Adoya chuckled. “That’s easy. Treat them how you would treat me. Tell them you want to pay them to leave because you do not want to deal with the variable of them remaining around the village and potentially distracting the giant. If they feel like they are giving you something you need, which they are, their pride won’t interfere with them accepting your offer. I promise you if you treat them this way, you will be baiting the forest in the next few days.”

47

RISKS HAVE THEIR REWARDS

It felt good to be holding a spear again, even if I didn’t need it. The sun had been up for an hour and was just above the tree line, shedding wheat husk coloured light on the fields around the automated barn. The smell of rotting meat and morning dew covered grass permeated the air. Lenlin, Manson, and Pel clutched their spears nervously. Jeric had his sword out and a shield on his left arm but seemed otherwise relaxed.

Quilly was the only one not taking the danger seriously. Every few seconds, she would titter as she asked Salem an avalanche of questions. It happened so often she was bordering on a giggle fit.

Salem gave short answers, grouchy from being awake through the night, patrolling the tree line. She didn’t seem to mind.

Last night had been a test of concept, so to speak. It had now been a little over five months since the giant had appeared. The increase in the number of monsters in the forest and the giant's proximity was something we were all well aware of. Yesterday, Salem had found the giant’s footprints only four miles from the edge of the village, showing us how much the villagers leaving had drastically reduced the strength of the village’s defence aura. The six of us were supplying so little ambient magic that the only source of water was now the fountain in the village square. It was no surprise to Jeric that the village resource production was at zero, but it had concerned him that the field Lenlin was cultivating to keep my farm status active was no longer offering the usual assistance.

With the giant’s territory so close, there was always the chance that baiting the forest would draw the attention of the giant the first time, but no one had thought it likely. Enough time had passed since I’d done anything to annoy it that it likely wasn’t on guard. From what I had read, the disappearance of a few of its increasing horde of minions would likely go unnoticed by it.

That meant luring monsters to the automated barn closest to the tree line was a calculated risk. I knew how effective my regular old barn was, but testing out the new version was still essential. If this hadn’t worked, it would be one less line of defence.

But it had.

I kept my eyes on the barn as we approached. The two-storey structure, built from concentrated granite, appeared undamaged. I signalled the others to move wide around the side of the building to create some extra space in case anything leapt out. That wasn’t likely to happen. The sun was up, and if something had survived its encounter with the barn, it would be long gone by now. There were also no tracks leading away from the barn and the grass was long enough to easily tell.

As we came around the side, we got our first look at the entrance. The wooden floor glowed red where the trapdoor sat inside the entrance. Farther in, areas of the floor also glowed red, indicating the paths of swinging axes and spiked logs.

“Salem, check the barn, please.”

Salem swished his tail and padded forward, checking the entrance before darting into the building at speed. He knew where every trap was, so I wasn’t worried about him accidentally setting something off. The speed was for if something was waiting to attack. Not many monsters could harm him, but he wasn’t invincible or foolish.

It was a minor inconvenience that he hadn’t gained access to the farmer class or the attributes from me passing through my threshold and leveling. The attribute bump wouldn’t have made much of a difference for him, but having the farmer class would have allowed him to see the hazard overlay.

He was stuck doing everything from memory.

It only took him a few seconds to search the barn. He sauntered out the entrance. “It’s clear of threats. Though you have creatures alive and trapped in two cages.”

Everyone lowered their weapons.

“Thank you.” I cleared my throat and changed to my teaching voice that I’d used in the past to lecture my team. “Okay, everyone, as this is your first time, we are going to take it slow. I want everybody to tell me what they see and guess what happened.”

I walked up to the entrance of the barn and looked inside. Oak boards covered the ceiling twenty-five feet above, making it impossible to see the traps before they were triggered. The boards on the ceiling gave the impression you were looking at a wooden floor. But the boards were smaller than they appeared. Quilly designed them to rotate so monsters couldn’t see where the traps were before they were triggered.

The familiar stench of blood and ogre grew stronger as I approached. That thick coppery stink hugged my nostrils as I looked around and tried to deduce what had happened.

A large, green-furred tiger lay in two pieces in the middle of the barn floor, its front separated from its back. Two of the spike logs had been triggered and now hung in the air above it.

A much smaller tiger was impaled beneath weighted ceiling spikes at the back of the room. And I could hear faint growling from the direction of two loose haystacks. There were a total of eight haystacks in the interior of every barn and each of them was there to hide the presence of a cage. The cages were all above pits that would open up and drop the cage when triggered. The goal wasn’t only to trap something inside but to keep it alive once there.

I was tired of having my cages destroyed by larger monsters as they tried to get at the smaller ones. Now that I knew I could feed the monsters to each other, live monsters were literally worth more than their weight in experience. Dropping the cages they were trapped inside into the small pits was the easiest way to protect them. The cages were a must, but baiting eight cages in each barn was not cheap. It took over a hundred chickens a day to bait everything. The number of chickens I was sending to the barnyard in the sky was sort of horrifying.

Once I’d surveyed the room, I checked the trapdoor in front of me. I’d put a tiny stamp on the trapdoor which showed which side was facing up. Each time the trapdoor was triggered, it would rotate 180 degrees, giving a 50% chance of knowing if the trapdoor had been activated without needing to look inside. The wrong side was facing up.

“Alright, what does everyone see?”

“Well—”

“Not you, Quilly.”

She pouted. “Fine.”

“Lenlin, how about you start us off.”

Lenlin scratched his jaw, staring at the carnage. “Ah, the goat pen is empty. But the caged chickens are still there which means that the tigers were interrupted while they were feeding and killed on their way out, not on their way in.”

“That is an excellent observation, Lenlin,” Salem said. There wasn’t even a whisper of condescension in his tone. Lenlin had improved under Salem’s tutelage more than the others. He had the right mixture of caution and thought that the other two lacked. And unlike them, he was in this for the long haul.

“Yeah, good work. Manson, what do you see?”

“The spike logs triggered after the larger tiger was dead. Its body bounced across the triggers, setting them off.”

“Good work. Pel, you are up.”

“The one at the back in the spikes was running from something.”

“Why do you say that?”

“There’s no food back there to entice it, and the trapdoor has rotated, which only happens for monsters heavier than two full-grown men.”

“Good work. Now Jeric.”

“The tiger that was cut in half is the mother, so I would guess that the others are her cubs. They are getting a bit bigger, so she probably took out the goat and decided not to share. The cubs then smelled the bait and climbed into the haystacks, which is why two of the cages are filled. But I could be wrong. They might have gone straight there. However, under the circumstance, I don’t think the mother would have gone to the goat if her cubs had been caught first.”

“THEY SAW THE TRIGGERS!” Quilly yelled, face red from holding back.

I sighed and glared at her. “Quilly, we talked about this. They need to learn how to recognise problems themselves and that isn’t going to work if you immediately tell them the answer.”

Quilly didn’t look even slightly chastised.

I shook my head. “Quilly, start working on the pit. We need to know what’s down there. I’m going to take everyone through the barn.”

Quilly grinned.

Over the next thirty minutes, I took everyone through the barn, asking questions about each trap that had and hadn’t been activated, like why everyone thought something had or hadn’t worked. Last of all, we moved the haystacks aside and opened the trapdoors where the tiger cubs were caged.

We talked about how we could safely move them to the holding barn further inside the property and what sort of extra precautions we would need to put in place for them as they grew. By the time we were done, Quilly had the trapdoor open and had gone through the barn and engaged the safety precautions.

We made our way back to the main trapdoor and looked over the edge into the pit, fighting against the smell of dead ogre.

“Can anyone tell me what sort of monster died down there?”

“It’s too dark to tell,” Pel said, face pale. She wasn’t really looking. She kept turning away.

“Ogres, at least two, I can see their heads,” Manson said.

“I count three,” Lenlin said. “I can see the right hands.”

“Nice catch, Lenlin,” I said, genuinely impressed. “I saw the heads too but didn’t notice the hands. Alright, we’re all going down there.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Pel said.

She was beginning to turn as green as the tiger's fur. The poor girl was a vegetarian. Manson had to kill the chickens she used as bait. I was just glad she could stomach handling the meat to bait the traps. Otherwise, I would have had to replace her.

I shook my head. “Vomit up here, please.”

Over the next hour, we helped Quilly set up the scaffolding system, and then she climbed down and loosened the tension on the mithril razor thread net and pulled it to the side. I could have done so myself, but with her being a trapsmith, she had special promotions and abilities that helped her disarm traps more safely than I could. It made more sense for her to do it when everything was slippery and covered in blood.

Once the threat of immediate death was removed, I climbed down. The farther down I went, the more ungodly the smell became, making me regret not stuffing something in my nostrils.

I yelled the suggestion to the others.

At the bottom of the pit, thick slabs of meat were piled on top of each other like abattoir sashimi. There wasn’t enough to fill the pit, but the bodies weren’t exactly sitting in the middle, so when I took my foot off the bottom rung of the ladder, I felt my boot sink into blood and guts, all the way up to my shin.

Quilly was still grinning, despite being saturated in blood. “It worked. It fucking worked. You killed three ogres with a pit trap. I got so much experience.”

I turned to the little frizzy-haired maniac. “You got experience? How did you get experience? When did you get experience?”

Quilly looked at me, surprised. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Well, I don’t just gain experience for building and designing traps. I also gain experience when they are used. It’s about a tenth of what you receive.”

“Really?”

She nodded, grinning like a maniac. “Why do you think I’ve been so fucking excited for these past few months? I gained more experience in a single night than I usually make in a month. And you’re going to keep doing this. I’m going to gain so many levels that I might reach my second threshold. No trapsmith has done that in a century. Not without buying experience at least.” She started giggling again.

I went around each of the three corpses and touched each head, focusing on the thought that I only wanted to gain the experience from the one I was touching. The crystals formed and I slid them into my pockets.

Lenin came down the ladder first. He stepped into the mess and looked around in disgust. Two bits of cloth hung from his nostrils and he was breathing sparingly. “This is a lot more nightmarish than I imagined.”

I held out the crystal of experience I had looted from the level 22 ogre. Lenlin was level 11, since his parents were decent people, so the boost from my mark and Ranic’s house of scholars turned the experience I was holding into enough to get him to his first threshold.

He stared at the crystal hungrily but hesitated to grab it. Finally, he looked me in the eye and shook his head. “I agreed to 25% of what I earn in my barn. These automated ones aren’t part of that deal. It’s yours.”

“And I’m choosing to give it to you.”

He shook his head again. “I may not be the brightest man, Arnold, but I have my pride and I want to earn my place in the world. Thank you, but I can’t accept this gift.”

“Dude, think about where you are standing. You are literally ankle-deep in monster guts. This was a trial. From tomorrow onwards, we are all going to be constantly laying out bait. We need every advantage we can find if we are going to survive this. I’ve been through this when it’s bad. Any advantage no matter how small is worth having.”

Lenlin took a deep breath. “A loan, then,” he said, taking the crystal from me. “One I will pay back as soon as possible.”

“If that’s how you feel, I understand.”

Lenlin smiled and the crystal vanished. Light flooded the pit, making the carnage appear ten times worse.

When Lenlin finished glowing, we called for the bag and started loading the slabs of dead ogre into it, so we could feed it to the tiger cubs. When we were a quarter of the way through, Lenlin went up, and the next member of the team came down. They all needed to experience the carnage. Seeing it happen before their eyes was going to be worse than this and I didn’t want them to freeze unexpectedly.

Manson and Pel took their bigger crystals without a word of protest, both bursting into tears as they reached their first thresholds. I got tearful bloody hugs from them. Their reactions gave me a glimpse of what it meant to be without levels. The two of them had been born to assholes that had taken their experience rather than help them develop it. It wasn’t the same cause as those who had lost everything, but it was the same result.

They couldn’t stop grinning as they loaded chunks of ogre into bags. Pel even stopped looking ill as she grabbed armfuls of bloody meat.

That, more than anything, confirmed for me that I wanted to help people like them.

48

WAR SONGS

I stood on the trapdoor of my new barn staring into the night. A crescent moon illuminated a silent tree line, devoid of even the smallest animal call. Uneasy anticipation weighed heavy on my tired shoulders. Tonight was the night. There was an indescribable feeling I could only compare to travelling through the northern Melgrim forest. It was coming.

Our first success was just a taste of what the last month brought to our door. With the village entirely abandoned and its aura down to nearly nothing, we’d been baiting the forest continually. There was barely a night where one of the automated barns wasn’t used. We’d all had to fall back to our controlled barns at some point to deal with something that had bypassed the automated ones, but no one had truly been in danger. Even when monsters we hadn’t baited came out of The Wild Woods, we still managed to deal with them.

Fifty-three trolls, ogres, and cyclopes had walked into Blackwood never to leave, with half as many other large monsters that we weren’t trying to target. Five times as many smaller predators had gone the same way or been captured. Each day we travelled farther and farther into the forest, luring out more and more. We were now baiting almost a mile inside the giant’s territory.

I’d gained a truly insane amount of experience, enough to get me to level 100 five times over. I could now safely say my system worked. I wasn’t afraid of something going wrong. I wasn’t afraid of being unable to handle a situation, despite the danger of some of the new threats.

However, I was exhausted. Heavy bags hung under my eyes. I hadn’t been getting more than two or three hours of sleep since we’d started. The influx of monsters meant there were always traps to repair and reset, live monsters to move, and dead monsters to clean up. Five people weren’t enough for all the work we had to do and the others didn’t have my endurance or constitution. They’d helped as much as they could and were all suffering from lack of sleep, but I was the one left working by myself when everyone was too exhausted to keep going. Tired people made mistakes—and we were all tired.

We’d tried not baiting the forest to have a night off but the giant’s territory was now too close. Monsters were coming out even without being baited. So we’d decided to push through and keep going until it finally showed.

Barely half an hour ago, 50 komododiles that we hadn’t baited had come running out of the forest of their own accord. They looked like crocodiles with longer legs. The smallest were the size of large pigs. The group of monsters was split in two, each led by a komododile so large that it showed that the smallest ones were little older than hatchlings. The two parents easily weighed more than some larger breeds of whale. Aside from the giant, I had never seen anything so big.

But from what I had read, their threat range was only mid, barely more than an ogre. They relied on their size and thick hide for survival, overpowering their prey with raw strength rather than complex hunting skills. Each one led a group of their children into one of the automated barns along the border, following the scent of goat and chicken. Nothing came out.

Salem was keeping me informed of everyone’s status.

The situation was the same up and down the tree line. Tonight, everyone was dealing with some sort of monster, and most had more than one or two. We’d finally reached the real monsters, not just the predators that stayed near the edge.

Salem appeared, sprinting out of nowhere, skidding to a halt in front of me. “The main trapdoor on your southern barn has been disabled. The adult komododile’s body was long enough to prevent it from spinning and it walked right over the top. It triggered the first swinging axe, so it is dead, but its tail is over the trapdoor, disabling it. If you want it to be functional, you will need to hack it off.”

“What about the second barn?”

“You got lucky. Its tail thrashed while it was dying and became pinned against the right wall.”

I grabbed my satchel from where it hung on the wall and then the machete. I was already holding my war pitchfork. “Lead the way.”

Due to my darkvision ability, the area was lit up like the day, and I could clearly see the barn six hundred yards ahead.

I took off running, matching Salem’s pace, moving faster than you were legally allowed to drive in a residential zone, only slowing when I got close to the barn’s giant stone structure.

Salem stayed ahead. Of the two of us, he was still the most agile and aware of his surroundings. Scouting only took him seconds. “It is still clear, but move quickly.”

I ran to the entrance and immediately understood the problem. The giant komododile I had seen go in was the size of the monster from Lake Placid. Its tail was almost thirty feet long and most of it was thicker than my shoulders. One of the swinging axes that had hit its body was shattered, lodged in its side, ripped from its housing by the creature's forward momentum as it tried to enter. The second swinging axe cut through it cleanly before several swinging log spears had impaled its head.

Its massive corpse now took up most of the centre of the barn. Bodies of the smaller versions were littered about the place, killed by other traps. Many of them must have gone into the second and third trapdoors because there weren't enough around to account for the number I had seen go in.

I tried not to get sidetracked thinking about how much experience the corpses contained as I made my way to the interior side of the trapdoor, moving safely around the edge. I probably could have walked straight over the top, but I wasn’t interested in taking unnecessary risks, not tonight at least.

A loot orb floated above the massive corpse, teasing me with how easily I could clear the trapdoor if I was willing to sacrifice the experience.

I ignored it, pressing my hand to its flesh instead, accepting the prompt offering me experience. A melon-sized crystal coalesced in my hand. I tossed it into the satchel and held my hand out as a second crystal just as large appeared.

I’d been a bit surprised to learn that there was a maximum size for experience crystals. It was the exact amount required to get to 100 in a class. You couldn’t go above. If you did, a second crystal would form. I tossed the second crystal into the satchel and waited for the new one to appear. I repeated the process three more times.

Big monsters meant big experience.

High-level monsters meant big experience.

Big, high-level monsters meant monstrous amounts of experience.

There was a small gap underneath the tail where it connected to the body. It was just enough space to squeeze my arm through, so I put the machete down and climbed on top of the tail, straddling it like a horse while fumbling open the pouch on my belt.

Quilly had complained about how hard it was to move the corpses that weren’t diced by her pitfalls. I’d told her to stop complaining and come up with a solution. Two days later, she’d handed us all one of her corpse cutters. The device looked like a four-inch-tall H when not in use.

I leaned down and wrapped my arms around the tail to hold each side of the device through the gap underneath. When I had everything lined up right, I twisted it, releasing the lock, freeing the mithril razor thread we used in the nets. I carefully extended the thread to its full length and then lifted it upwards.

A mistake here would cost me a finger.

Cutting through flesh with mithril thread was no harder than cutting through cake. Bone was a different story. I started sawing. Sure, I could have just pulled harder and got the job done, but I was pulling towards myself, not pushing away. If I moved the wrong way, I might cause myself a major injury or sever a limb.

Once I was through the bone, the rest was easy. Blood pooled on the ground as I carefully brought the two sides of the device back together. There was a mechanism inside that automatically retracted it, like a vacuum cleaner cord, so I didn’t have to mess around. I locked the two sides back into place, put it in my pocket, and climbed off the tail.

“It will fall into the trap when something walks over if you cut it just inside the edge of the trapdoor,” Salem offered.

“I could try to drag it away,” I said, making my way outside. “I’ve got forty strength.”

“Idiot. It weighs almost as much as a troll.”

Well, that sucks.

I made my way over to the entrance and got to work on the other end of the tail. This time there was no gap underneath. I had to slice down with the corpse cutter, going through flesh and bone, until I was only a few inches above the floor. Then, I put the cutter away and started hacking at it with my machete.

The flesh resisted the machete, but the gap widened and more and more parted with each passing second. In the end, it was just cutting meat. Really insanely tough thick meat, but meat none the less.

I worked fast and smart, knowing exactly how important time was in this situation. It would have been nice to have a swinging axe I could trigger to do the work for me.

That could go into the next version of the barn.

There was always room for improvement.

“What do these things eat?” I said, still swinging.

“Everything they see…” Salem’s voice trailed off. “The giant’s here. And it is bigger. Much bigger.”

“Where?” I said, without looking up.

“It is on the far side of Lenlin’s barn. Closer to him than Pel. It is standing at the tree line.”

A deep, primitive roar filled the night. The sound vibrated through my chest and into my bones, but thankfully I wasn’t picked up and thrown.

The explosive volume sent shivers down my spine. The anxiety spike was stronger than I expected, but nowhere near strong enough to send me into a panic. The roar triggered an old memory, reminding me of the summer when my family had stayed at my aunt's in the country. I’d woken in the middle of the night to hear sirens. I’d panicked and run into my parents’ room. The siren had been from the fire station three miles away. It had boggled my young mind that anything could be that loud. The experience was good preparation for dealing with a giant.

“I think that was a rallying call,” Salem said. “Work faster.”

I kept hacking.

“I see trolls; they’re appearing in pairs, or threes, and ogres are showing up too. There are a dozen of them along the tree line. A tribe of cyclopes just showed up. I count at least eighty. I think it has summoned all its minions.”

The last of the tail separated into two.

“Another tribe of cyclopes have just appeared,” Salem said, tone worried. “I am losing track of numbers. It’s over three hundred. What do you want to do?”

I dropped the machete and reached for the fortified wineskin strapped to my back. My socialite ability turned alcohol into a weak stamina and fear resistance potion. And the wine in the skin was exceptionally good for stamina—an expensive vintage I’d purchased from the adventurers’ guild.

I pulled out the stopper and drank greedily. Sacrificing my stamina for extra speed was both a necessity and a danger. I’d learned that running insanely fast wasn’t something I got to do for free. It ate away at my stamina just as insanely quick once I pushed myself, so I needed to keep my tank topped up.

I was miles from bottoming out, and I wasn’t even breathing heavily, but I didn’t want to get caught out later and right now, I had free time. I barely tasted the wine as it went down. I’d already been drinking, so my mood was as good as it was going to be.

“Before I make a decision, what’s your assessment of the situation?”

I should have waited to ask until after I had finished turning, because now I could see almost a dozen trolls only a hundred yards away, standing between the trees. I would describe the look they were giving me as hungry.

Salem had his back to me as he watched the tree line. “Well, a sane person would run. However, you are not sane. And, the others might not make it if they try. I know you won’t abandon them, so your only option is to get back to your barn and wait. This is not what we expected. The giant is bigger and smarter than before, and it is making its minions behave like hunting dogs rather than mindless beasts.”

I took his advice and started running, quickly leaving the automated barn behind me. Salem followed. “How can you tell?” I asked him.

“Well, first of all, those trolls are not charging, despite staring directly at you. And second of all…they are not charging. Trolls do not exactly have a lot of self-control, Arnold.”

The trolls kept staring at me as the gap between us grew. I looked in the direction the roar had come from. It was well over a mile away, and though I could make out the giant’s shape, I couldn’t get any real details.

“To answer your earlier question, the plan hasn’t changed. We are still going to try to catch it. Now, what do you think the giant is going to do?”

“It’s not pushing forward, which makes me think it is waiting for the rest of its minions to arrive. That would make sense since it is a significantly higher level than we expected—so more intelligent.”

“How much higher? I can’t tell at this distance.”

“It’s level 73.”

“Shit.”

“I will go warn Jeric and the others and hopefully reach you before the giant acts. Remember the plan, do not draw its attention until after it goes in a direction away from the village.” He took off across the property, literally turning into a black streak with his crazy speed.

The pack with my cloak of monster taunting was on a hook inside the barn. I ran across the trapdoor and grabbed the pack, threw it over my shoulder, and returned to the entrance. I was as ready as I would ever be.

The goats trapped in the pen behind me bleated fearfully as the cool night air caressed my skin. The giant gave another bone-rattling roar, causing their bleats to increase in volume. They started head-butting the pen to try to escape.

I checked my immediate surroundings and then stopped and uncorked my wineskin. My stamina was barely down from the run back, so I only swallowed a mouthful, feeling the liquid run down my throat without tasting it.

With every passing second, more monsters appeared. I counted more than three hundred just in the first thousand yards.

An involuntary gulp occurred as I watched an ape the size of an elephant walk out of the forest on its knuckles. The tallest ogre only came up to the bottom of its shoulders. A few seconds passed and then three more appeared behind the first. The trolls on either side of them were more than thirty yards away, but they still backed up.

That reaction was terrifying.

How bad were those things if they scared trolls? The Monster Compendium which had arrived about two months ago classified apes as a higher mid-tier threat. They were physically bigger and stronger than the trolls and ogres and also significantly more intelligent. Intelligent enough that adventurers usually chose not to fight them unless they had to.

To my far left, a tribe of cyclopes walked out of the forest, numbering almost a hundred, each carrying a sharpened wooden spear or large club. They took one look at the building and started beating their chests.

“I should have built more barns. Fuck. Why didn’t I build more barns?”

Minutes passed. The speed at which new monsters appeared slowed. Around the five minute mark, the giant let out another explosive roar. And then it began to talk. I had no idea what it was saying, but the sounds it made had to be words. They were too orderly to be meaningless. The eyes of the monsters along the edge of the forest began to glow. To my darkvision they looked like torches.

“That’s cheating,” I whined

The monsters didn’t care.

Another twenty seconds passed, and then the giant gave a different massive roar. This one I understood. The urge to run at the monsters and destroy everything in sight flickered through me as the ability the giant was using caught me with a less intense form of its effect. The monsters charged, spilling out of the trees like a tidal wave of death, entering the village zone to destroy everything in their path.

My gaze swept down the tree line. Everything was moving. Everything was pushing forward. There had to be four hundred of them, just in my section. That was bad, but they were all converging on the only structures in sight—the barns—which was good.

A closer, smaller bellow made by a hundred loud voices began a rhythmic chant and pulled my attention to the automated barn six hundred yards to my left. I watched as the whole tribe of cyclopes ran for the barn, drawn in by the fearful bleats of the goats inside.

The past month had taught me several important lessons. First, the automated barns worked. Second, I needed a lot more of them, at least one every hundred yards. And third, the automated barns weren’t foolproof. A second manual layer of defence was definitely required because some monsters were smarter than others.

Luckily, cyclopes were not one of the monsters that were smart enough.

The tribe converged on the automated barn. Dozens ran in and disappeared before the others farther back slowed their charge to move more carefully. The ones in the middle of the group had likely just watched the first wave rush in and immediately disappear. They looked like they didn’t want to press forward, but the biggest in the tribe, which were at the back, kept urging them on. There was no intelligence to their actions. It was pure force of numbers.

Light enveloped me.

Well done, you have successfully killed several different types of monstrosities with traps. You have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill.

Skill: Trapsmith

Level: 7

Effect:

+14% to your trapsmithing ability

+14% to your effectiveness at locating and camouflaging traps

A second later, more light hit me, along with another prompt.

Well done, you have successfully killed several different types of monstrosities with traps. You have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill.

Skill: Trapsmith

Level: 8

Effect:

+16% to your trapsmithing ability

+16% to your effectiveness at locating and camouflaging traps

This was bad. You couldn’t turn off the prompts for leveling or stop the light, only change the way they were displayed. Right now, they were taking up most of my vision. I opened my interface and changed the information given down to its minimum.

I’d barely finished changing it when the next prompt hit me.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 9.

The difference to what I could see was noticeable, so was the amount of attention I was getting.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

In less than a minute, the huge number of cyclopes overwhelmed the barn I was watching, triggering trap after trap until they could no longer function. The survivors started breaking the stone walls and tearing the barn apart.

We were in trouble.

My gaze travelled down the line. I could see that the number of monsters had plummeted, but the two barns where the komododiles had entered were already half torn down.

Only the one directly in front of the barn I was currently in still seemed to be holding up.

My barns weren’t going to work.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 16.

I dismissed the prompt, trying to ignore how brightly I was glowing as I continued to watch the monsters kill themselves.

The first of the eight trolls who had been salivating at me while I freed the trapdoor was only fifty yards away. It and two of its friends were following my damn glow like they were the Three Wise Men.

I turned and sprinted to the back of the barn, past the dozen goats trapped in the pens, and leapt into the concentrated granite reinforced control room, slamming the door closed behind me. I looked out of the stone box through the small viewing window, knowing the glow I was giving off would let them know exactly where I was, despite the entrance to the barn being almost eighty yards away. Two dozen levers were positioned in front of me ready to activate traps that would bring nothing but death to the barn’s invaders.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 17.

I dismissed the prompt.

How quickly were they dying? I only received like, 1% of their experience for that skill, but I was leveling fast.

The Three Wise Men showed they couldn’t live up to their name when they ran straight onto the trapdoor at the entrance. I grinned as their weight triggered the rotation, dropping them into the pit.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 18.

The next two trolls that showed up leapt over the trapdoor, having seen the danger, and landing inside. They looked around, quickly spotting where I was hiding because of the glow.

Maybe they deserve to be called the Three Wise Men, even though there are only two. They seemed smarter than the others.

They charged.

Maybe not. If they were wise, they would run away.

I didn’t activate anything. There were enough automated traps to deal with them.

The first one got a quarter of the way into the barn before it stepped on a second trapdoor and disappeared. The one behind it stopped.

Huh, maybe I was wrong. Maybe that one has what it takes.

I pulled one of the two dozen levers at my disposal and watched as a swinging axe cut the troll in half. Blood went everywhere.

The last three trolls tried leaping inside, but the first miscalculated the distance, trying to jump after stepping on the trapdoor. The rotating door hit the other two’s legs, causing them to flip end over end and fall short of the other side. They disappeared into the pit after their companion.

Several seconds passed without any signs of a new threat. I had a bad feeling we were going to lose the village. We had built enough barns that several dozen threats could appear anywhere along the border and safely be taken out, but there were hundreds.

I snapped my finger nervously. “Do I go and get the experience or do I stay up here where it’s safe?”

I opened the door and started running, dodging the red highlighted areas.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 19.

I slapped my hand against the closest half of what might have been the wisest troll I’d ever seen.

Then I turned and ran back.

The experience crystal that formed in my hand was like the ones that had formed when I touched the komododile. It held the maximum amount of experience a farmer experience crystal could hold. I tossed the crystal in my satchel as I ran through the door into the control room. A second one began to form.

I wasn’t just getting the experience from the trolls in my barn, but all the trolls in every barn that had been killed by the traps I installed.

An ogre roared before I reached the viewing window. I heard the trapdoor spin and it was gone by the time I arrived.

I tossed the second crystal in my satchel and a third crystal started forming.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 20.

I glared at the prompt as I dismissed it.

“Maybe setting up all the trapdoors myself wasn’t the best idea.”

There was no one around to disagree with me.

More ogres showed up, disappearing the same way as the first. I tried to shove another experience crystal into my satchel only to meet resistance. I stared at the bulging bag, realising I might have a problem.

I grabbed the backpack off the hook on the wall and shoved the new crystal in. The backpack was there to hold the cloak and put my satchel in when I had to run. It wasn’t supposed to be used for a situation where all my experience didn’t fit into my satchel.

I suddenly realised that the sheer amount of experience I had gained might be the thing that killed me. I put another crystal inside.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 21.

While I loaded what seemed like an endlessly forming series of experience crystals into the backpack, four of the massive apes approached the entrance to my barn. Their fur was tan like a deer and they walked on their knuckles.

Unlike everything else that had shown up, these monsters didn’t rush. They walked up to the entrance and stopped. They looked at me through the viewing window, and then the biggest one stepped forward and put a hand on the trapdoor at the entrance, testing it.

The trapdoor began to spin.

All four started grunting and hooting. The big one caught the door and looked down into the pit. Then it looked back at me. It leaned forward, grabbed the edge of the trapdoor with its massive hands, and then leaned back. I heard screeching metal and then a loud crack as the trapdoor snapped free.

“That’s not good.”

The apes hooted in victory as their leader lifted the door above its head and threw it towards me. The creature was massive, but there were still almost eighty yards between us. The heavy trapdoor fell short by thirty yards, skidding across the ground, triggering a few of the traps it landed on.

Axes swung and half a dozen swinging spears came free.

The apes hooted angrily as they stared at the triggered traps. The leader looked up and down, checking the barn, and then stared at me and grunted. It turned to the right and started walking around that side of the barn, ignoring the entrance.

“Yeah, good thinking. Going around the barn is a smarter option, but not the smartest.”

Several seconds passed, and then I heard the sound of breaking wood, and several of them screamed out in pain. They’d fallen into one of the numerous pitfalls surrounding the barn.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 22.

Salem ran into the barn, jumping the open pit, crossing the distance in a few seconds, before leaping through the viewing window.

I ducked.

Salem flew over my head, jumping off the wall to stop behind me. “You have an ape problem.”

“I noticed,” I said, tossing another crystal into the backpack. “How is everything going out there?”

“As of my last assessment, a third of the automated barns have either been destroyed or are so chock full of dead monsters there is no room left to activate the remaining traps. That number has probably increased to half by now. I have warned Quilly. She has begun trapping the village.”

“Good. What about the giant?”

“It is still standing where it was when it arrived.”

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 23.

I dismissed the prompt. This was getting more than just annoying.

The apes hooting outside grew louder.

“Any idea what I should do?”

“Wait it out. The giant is amusing itself by playing king but it will move eventually. Why do you have an endless supply of experience crystals forming?”

“I figured we might lose the village, so I decided to take the experience from a troll’s corpse.”

“Idiot.”

“I’ve realised that. Now, if you are done complaining, do you think you could lure a few more of them in here?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said and leapt out the viewing window.

Intense light enveloped me as a crystal began to form in my hand.

Well done, your farm has created 10,000,000 farmer experience in a single year. Earning this much experience qualifies you for your second threshold. Would you like to use this trial as your qualification for ascension? You have sixty seconds to make this decision or the opportunity will be lost.

Yes/No?

60, 59, 58…

What the hell? I had been creating a lot of experience crystals, but I still wasn’t anywhere near reaching that quantity yet. That was an insane amount of experience. Who the hell was picking it up? We were in the middle of a fight, there wasn't time to be gathering experience right now—I’d taught them better than this.

47, 46…

Growls came from in front of me, reminding me where I was, and I pulled two levers. The ogres had made it three-quarters of the way across the barn. Two axe blades ended that threat.

Months ago, back in Weldon, Ranic had taught me every known method for passing through a threshold. I’d forgotten most of them within a month, but I’d remembered them again once my intelligence rose. This was one of the methods for passing through your second threshold that Ranic had described as too good to pass up.

I selected Yes.

Congratulations, you have passed through your second threshold. Your speciality has grown stronger.

Advanced Farm Manager

You are a man of big dreams. You prefer to give orders and facilitate others in their work than do the work yourself.

-You can now have 16 farmers under you who receive the same benefits of working on your farm as you do. These farmers can now also be other Farm Managers, but they can only have the same number of farmers under them that a skilled farmer of the same level would have under them and their promotions do not apply to your farm.

-Your promotions apply to everyone working under you along with yourself unless otherwise stated. (Identical promotions will default to the highest-level promotion.)

-Work performed by farmers under you applies to your future thresholds.

-Your attribute allotment will remain as constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma.

I dismissed the prompt.

Well done, you have passed through your second threshold and improved your Farm Manager speciality. Since you produced 10,000,000 farmer experience in a single year, you have received a legendary threshold boon.

While on your farm, you automatically receive a 10% experience bonus from experience generated within its boundary. While on a farm that is not your own, you automatically receive a 10% experience bonus from experience generated by the farmers who are part of that farm. Experience gained through this method does not crystallize.

As soon as I dismissed that prompt, another appeared.

Well done, you have passed through your second threshold and gained access to your reserve of experience. Your reserve contained enough Farmer experience to increase your level multiple times. For passing through your threshold, you receive a 1 point increase to all of your base attributes instead of your regular attribute allotment.

Class: Farmer

Level: 74

Effects:

+74% to farming ability.

+74% to farming ability while on your farm.

Your Strength has increased by 1

Your Endurance has increased by 1

Your Dexterity has increased by 1

Your Agility has increased by 1

Your Constitution has increased by 13

Your Intelligence has increased by 13

Your Wisdom has increased by 13

Your Charisma has increased by 13

You have 24 unassigned attribute points.

Would you like to assign them?

Yes/No?

I selected charisma and dumped all 24 points into it.

My body began to change.

You have promotions available. Would you like to select your promotions?

Yes/No?

I selected No.

Congratulations, you have reached level 74 and advanced enough to reach your third threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

I dismissed the prompt and opened up my interface, going down the list to my fifth-tier promotions as I pulled a lever killing a troll. A prompt appeared.

Congratulations, you have reached level 50 and advanced your farmer class. You may now select your fifth promotion from the list. Remember, you can only select one promotion and all decisions are final.

Farming Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 5% more farmer experience.

Skill Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 5% more skill experience.

Special Promotion requirements met: Reach level 50 using experience predominately gained from defending your farm.

Advanced Farming Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 10% more farmer experience.

Special Promotion requirements met: Master a skill

Advanced Skill Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 10% more skill experience.

I selected the advanced farming bonus.

Congratulations, you have selected the Advanced Farming Bonus. To increase the level of this promotion, you must use five farmer promotion crystals.

I dismissed the prompt and pulled another lever.

I knew focusing on the present was important, but gaining an additional 10% experience for what we were doing was something I simply couldn’t ignore. If the village survived the night, that 10% would change someone’s life.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 24.

Stupid prompts.

49

POOR DECISIONS

Dozens of dead ogres and trolls littered the barn floor, creating a corpse bridge that the cyclopes were now using to safely navigate their way towards me. The goats in the pen were dead and the chickens were nothing but piles of bloody feathers. The surviving apes were tearing their way through the right- and left-hand sides of the barn in time with the rhythmic chanting of the cyclopes, but the most frustrating part of the whole situation was Salem was yelling at me.

“You cannot take the experience with you,” Salem said. “With the extra weight, you will not be able to outrun the apes.”

I pulled three levers in quick succession and watched as the axes swung towards the cyclopes, keeping an eye on the poorly-thrown spears that were hurtling towards my control room. “I’m not leaving it here for the monsters to absorb.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before getting greedy?”

“I’m not giving it to them and that’s final.”

“Then absorb it yourself.”

I scowled. Technically, level 100 wasn’t the maximum level of a class, just the level where you got access to a second class. As far as anyone knew, there was no level cap. There was, however, the small issue of each level past 100 costing a hundred times more experience, and there were still thresholds that you needed to pass every 25 levels.

It would literally take two of the melon-sized crystals of experience to get me a single additional level. That was twice the experience needed to reach level 100. And there were 18 crystals more than I could comfortably carry. That was 9 levels for me, but enough experience to get nearly 1800 people to level 10 or at minimum 45,000 crowns when sold. It was enough gold to get me out of debt.

“There has to be another way.”

“There was. You could have put your attributes into strength and been able to carry it, but you chose to be a little prettier instead. You have thirty seconds to make a decision. You can save the 10 in your satchel or die trying to save all 28.”

“Damn it,” I said as I picked up the first crystal and focused on it.

You have found 505,000 farmer experience.

Would you like to absorb this experience?

Yes/No?

I cringed as I selected Yes, hating how wasteful I was being.

The crystal vanished. There was no light showing that I had done something great. It was as if the world that had celebrated every achievement understood that what I was doing wasn’t something to be praised. I repeated this 17 more times, not bothering to pull the crystals out, just letting my hand brush against them one after the other.

I shouldered the much lighter backpack onto my back and pulled the big red lever before grabbing my war pitchfork and climbing the ladder against the wall at the back of the control room. Unlike the big red lever from my second iteration of my trap barn, nothing immediately happened. The whole running out of a burning building experience was not something I wanted to repeat. It was not as epic as I imagined. All this lever did was change my manual traps to automatic.

It was Quilly’s design. I certainly didn’t have the skills to make something like that work.

At the top of the ladder, I ran to the hayloft door.

I carefully undid the latch and slowly pulled it open so I didn’t draw attention to myself. The smell of unwashed bodies and rotting meat filled the night air. I grabbed the escape rope as Salem leapt out the window. Both of the massive pitfalls below the hayloft door held dead apes, surrounded by canvas and grass. The granite walkway between the two pits was exposed for all to see, but the path was too narrow for the massive monsters to navigate. That hadn’t stopped them from trying. There were clear signs that other monsters had fallen into the pits, squashing the corpses at the bottom, before they climbed out. There were also signs that others had come around the back to attack from behind. All but two of the dozen pitfalls held at least one monster corpse.

The trolls and apes around the back had seen the dead and had distanced themselves from the threat, standing back, unwilling to get any closer than the rear corner of the barn. They were currently distracted, looking towards those attacking the sides of the barn.

I threaded my hand through the escape rope, grabbed my war pitchfork, and stepped off the edge. The extra weight of the 10 remaining crystals was immediately made apparent as the ground raced towards me. Pain exploded up my shins.

You have taken 28 fall damage.

I stifled a groan as the pain shot through my legs. My health mitigated the damage, lessening the effect to a third of what it would have been before I raised my constitution. If I’d had this much health when that troll threw the rocks at me I would have only walked away with heavy bruising instead of broken bones.

Light enveloped me.

Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 34.

Shit.

I took off running down the narrow stone path. Adrenaline coursed through me as the apes and trolls reacted to the light that was now surrounding me. Deep primal roars rattled my teeth as they rushed in. Thankfully my constitution was too high for the roars to cause a stun effect. I leapt off the path and hit open ground, running across the field for the granite paved road thirty yards away.

“Zigzag,” Salem shouted ahead of me.

I immediately turned, going right and then changed to the left. Chunks of the barn and great clods of dirt slammed into the spaces where I would have been.

“Duck.”

I bent over, going as low as I could without slowing, trusting Salem. I felt the wind from something pass over my head. My heart rate increased despite the thirty-mile-an-hour pace being comparable to a fast walk for me.

My feet finally hit the road, the pavement allowing me to move faster. Several more seconds passed as missiles continued to land around me.

“Straighten up,” Salem said. “Get to the fallback point. I’ll check on the others.”

I stood up straight, putting on more speed. The distance between me and my pursuers grew.

* * *

I had to run around a few trolls and ogres, but I made it to the rendezvous point with no more trouble. The small granite farmhouse was positioned three hundred yards beyond the reservoir, directly in the village's path. It was the only new building on the eastern side of the village that wasn’t a barn and it was barely more than four walls and a roof.

I ran around the back and stopped. There was no door in the doorframe, but that was expected. My darkvision enhanced the glow coming from someone’s hooded lantern inside.

“It’s me,” I said and waited.

“You can come in. We’ve lowered the crossbows,” Pel replied.

I stepped through the door and scanned the room. Manson and Pel were in the middle behind a large granite block, crossbows pointed towards the wall. Jeric was to my right, his shield strapped to his arm and sword out. All three of them were squinting, unable to see in the dark.

“Where’s Lenlin?”

“He still hasn’t arrived,” Jeric said.

As I moved to the back of the room to look through the gap in the shutters, I pulled up my farm interface and checked my list of workers. Lenlin’s name was still on it. “He’s alive.” All three of them sighed in relief. “So…there were a few more than we anticipated. How long have you been here?”

The attack had only begun fifteen minutes ago, but considering the size of it, I was surprised I had lasted as long as I did.

I turned back to see Jeric blush. “I’ve been here the longest. I had a couple of apes show up. They took out the trapdoor above the pitfall and made it halfway in before the traps took them down. They weren’t even dead before two whole tribes of cyclopes charged in. They didn’t flinch or slow down when their companions died. They just kept charging. I triggered everything I had, but there wasn’t enough time between pulls for the traps to reset themselves. Dozens made it to the control room and began pounding on the door. Maybe I could have gotten a few more if I’d stayed, but I was only about ten seconds ahead of them by the time I hit the ground and started running. Lugging all that experience certainly slowed me down.”

“Wait, that was you?”

Jeric shrugged. “Salem had me clear one of the automated barns before they showed up. A komododile’s tail covered the trapdoor.”

“Same here,” Pel said.

I shook my head and finally checked the gap in the shutters. The field of grass above the reservoir glowed red. Without it, it would be hard to tell it was there. Arnold’s Hill sat directly behind it, blocking my view of the forest and the giant. Unless there was something directly behind the hill, there was nothing dangerous for at least a mile.

We were safe for the moment.

“I arrived second,” Manson said. “I left a big pile of ogres and trolls behind. It would have been bigger, but those apes were smart. They lifted a couple of their group onto the roof of the barn and tried to get me from above.”

I stared at him. “Seriously? They came in from above? How did the roof stay up?”

“It didn’t. They fell through; one of them landed inside. I managed to get that one before the other started using the load-bearing beams as a climbing frame. I made a run for it when it got too close.”

“I ran out of traps to trigger, so I left,” Pel said, grinning. “What do we do now, boss? I mean, this isn’t something we trained for. We don’t have enough traps left to take them all out even if we used ourselves as bait to lure them to the remaining pitfalls around the village.”

I snorted. “It’s nice of you to offer to be bait, but maybe another time. You know where the horses are, get them saddled, and take them to the second rendezvous point.”

Manson nodded. “You want us to take Quilly?

I shook my head and then realised he couldn’t see me in the dark. “Salem already warned her about the numbers issue. Half the village will be covered in traps by now. Going in there to find her will get you killed. Don’t be surprised if the eastern gate is open and candles are burning in the windows. She’s using the whole village to help us lure the giant.”

Manson took the hood off his lantern. “Okay, don’t go into the death village. Got it. Good luck with the giant.”

“Thanks.”

Pel took the hood off her lantern. “Try not to die.”

I pulled my backpack off, took out the cloak, and held the bag out for them to take. They already had their own backpack to lug around, but they had time, so giving them another wouldn’t cause any trouble. “If I die, there are two complete crystals in there for each of you and Lenlin.”

Their eyes widened.

Manson took the backpack. “Thanks.”

“It’s only yours if I die.”

“Arnold, you seriously need to stop making gestures that make people wish for your death,” Jeric said, chuckling, before handing over his bulging backpack to Pel.

I grinned.

Manson and Pel laughed as they hurried out of the door.

I looked between the gap in the shutters, keeping watch. Nearly a minute passed before Jeric said anything. “Congratulations on getting through your second threshold. How did you manage to do it?

“Thanks. Between you guys, tonight, the last month of mayhem, and me making the mistake of looting a troll corpse, my farm has generated 10,000,000 experience in the past year.”

“That’s a legendary method for passing through the second threshold.”

“It’s why I took it.”

“Why did you say it was a mistake to loot the troll corpse?”

“It generated 22 full experience crystals to go along with the 6 I received from the komododiles.”

Jeric nodded. “They couldn’t all fit in your pack, so where are they?”

“I had to consume them.”

Jeric winced. “How many?”

“Eighteen,” I said.

Jeric swore.

“Yeah, that was my reaction too.”

“Any sign of Lenlin?”

“None so far.”

* * *

Five minutes later, I let out a sigh of relief. “He’s coming. Salem’s with him and they aren’t being followed. You should be able to see his lantern,” I said, stepping aside.

Jeric walked over and looked through the gap in the shutters. He had enough wisdom to give him a lesser form of darkvision. It was nothing like my own, but he wasn’t blind. “What do you think took him so long?”

“No idea. Ask him.”

It was another minute before Lenlin reached the building and stopped outside the door. “It’s me,” he wheezed, breathing heavy.

“Come in,” I said, before adding, “What took you so long?”

Salem didn’t wait for the invitation. He ran straight in, knowing none of us would be able to hit him with a crossbow even if we tried.

Lenlin entered a second later, made his way to the granite block, dropped his pack and sat down. He lay back and said, “Give me a minute.”

I turned to Salem. “Why aren’t we seeing any monsters? The other barns fell more than ten minutes ago.”

Salem chuckled. “You have managed to scare them. They won’t move more than a mile from the tree line, and the only reason they will go that far is that they are more afraid of the giant than they are of you.”

“Why doesn’t the giant push forward then?”

“I believe it is waiting for the cooldown on its rallying call to elapse. It cannot seem to gather its minions without it.”

From the books I read, that ability’s cooldown time generally lasted for about an hour with a giant. “So, we’ve got half an hour until anything happens then.”

“If my theory is correct.”

50

A DISAPPOINTING END

It turned out Lenlin was late because he’d been dealing with an ogre issue. His barn had outlasted everyone else’s, but that meant the number of monsters wandering around between him and us was higher. He’d had to drink the speed potion I’d given him and lead nearly a dozen monsters into pits before his pursuers finally gave up and let him flee. I gave him five minutes to catch his breath and eat to replace his stamina and then I sent him to find the others.

I tried to send Jeric with him, but Jeric flatly refused. This was his village whether or not he was still the mayor, and he would be the last one to leave now that it was threatened.

The adrenaline that had been pumping through our systems waned along with much of the excitement. Exhaustion and stress from the monthlong exertion left me wanting to lie down on the floor and go to sleep.

The excitement didn’t even return when the giant roared, or when Salem returned and said, “It has gathered the survivors into a horde and is leading them towards Arnold’s Hill.”

I frowned, looking out through the gap in the shutter. I’d gotten a whole lot calmer and braver since my last two boosts of charisma and Salem’s reply was not what I wanted to hear. I was finally ready to do what needed to be done. I could be the human bait we needed me to be.

Looking through the gap, I couldn’t make out the giant, but the trolls and other monsters were spread out in a wide enough horde that I could see the edges moving towards us. “When you say leading them, do you mean leading them from the front, middle, or back?”

“The front.”

My frown deepened. “When you say it’s leading them toward the tower, do you mean a straight line or in a roundabout route?”

“Straight line.”

My frown intensified. “When you say a straight line, do you mean it is going to climb the tower and then walk directly into the reservoir trap without me having to do anything, or a straight line toward the village?”

“If they do not change their formation, then I believe the giant will walk straight to the tower, climb it and then head directly for the village, falling into the trap.”

“That’s good news,” Jeric said happily.

“It’s terrible news,” I said, face falling further. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve spent on preparing myself to act as bait for this monster? I’ve literally put thousands of crowns and months of preparation into this. I’ve got almost every blessing I can buy, a dozen magical items, and a whole bunch of abilities specifically so I can stay ahead of it. And that stupid bastard might walk right into the trap all by itself.”

“Well, we did place the tower and the reservoir directly in its path for that exact reason,” Jeric said, trying to keep a straight face.

“I don’t care. This is not how this is supposed to end.”

“Oh, dear,” Salem sighed. “What delusion have you concocted now?”

“Huh?”

“How did you think this would end?”

I scowled at Salem. “If you must know, I figured it would come towards the village at an angle. I’d have to run out, weave my way through the monsters near it, so I could get close enough to throw my war pitchfork at it. I’d aim for its dick and trigger the critical strike on the war pitchfork, guaranteeing it hit, and then I’d run like hell with my monster cloak of taunting billowing in the wind behind me, encouraging it to chase after me with abandon. I’d have to dodge through the monsters to get out, but then I would be in open ground with the giant behind me, but that would be fine because of my insane speed. I would then race to the reservoir, keeping the giant close. It would be so enraged it wouldn’t realise what was going on until it started falling, at which point, I would turn to it and say something badass.”

Jeric snorted. “What were you planning to say?”

“Meep, Meep, motherfucker.”

“What does that even mean?” Salem asked.

“It’s a reference to a character from my childhood and one of the greatest actors ever born.”

Jeric patted my shoulder holding back laughter, fighting tears. “I’m sure you can say it from here when it falls in.”

“It won’t be the same.”

Salem growled. “Why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset.”

“You are whining. You know how dangerous a giant is. This is much safer for everyone.”

“But it would have been epic,” I said, not whining even a little. “Bards would have written songs about me. I would have gotten famous. Do you have any idea how much chicks dig a guy who is hot, rich, famous, and brave enough to be live bait for a giant?”

Jeric finally lost it. He threw one hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Tears were pouring down his cheeks. “I’m sorry for the lost opportunity,” he spluttered, wheezing, unable to control his laughter.

“It’s not funny. Do you have any idea what songs they will sing about me now? It’s going to be nothing but comedy. I can see it already. I’ll be the punchline of a poorly-sung joke.”

“Actually, they will most likely be children’s songs,” Salem said, deadly serious. “The giant will be dumb and you will be the wacky farmer who trapped him. Everyone will join in on the chorus. And the song will be so simple that any child over four will be able to sing it from memory.”

Jeric’s face turned a deeper shade of red as he fought for self-control.

“This isn’t how a giant story is supposed to end,” I said.

“Well, the story is not over,” Salem offered. “Perhaps conditions will change and you will have to go out there like you want.”

I turned back to the shutters, trying to ignore Jeric’s laughter, hoping that Salem was right.

It took the giant five minutes to walk the two miles and climb the tower and it was only in the last minute that Jeric managed to recover. Once the giant reached the top, it went into an obvious rage, tearing apart the warding poles with fury, exactly as Ranic had planned.

Climbing down in such an anger-fuelled rush made it clumsy, and it fell the last fifty feet which only added to its mood. In seconds, it was up and standing, charging towards the warding poles in front of it, crushing them under its feet.

The last time I faced the giant, it had been night and I didn’t have darkvision. All I had seen was a massive, human-shaped silhouette. Now, I could actually see it, and it was bigger, much bigger, more than forty feet tall.

Thick black fur covered everything except for its face, feet, and hands. Think bigfoot except with a human face that is black as midnight. None of the illustrations I had seen did it justice. The creature exuded power. The tallest trolls and ogres behind it didn’t even reach its waist.

To my utter dismay, it stayed ahead of the horde. There was no last-minute change up or unexpected recognition. The giant’s eyes were locked on the village as it raged over the warding poles.

I don’t think it suspected anything at all until it stepped onto the red hazard area above the reservoir and disappeared below.

“You can say your line,” Salem said.

“Meep, Meep, motherfucker.”

It wasn’t the same.

The fact that Jeric was laughing at me and the horde of monsters was already beginning to flee only made it worse.

Light illuminated the two of us as we both received the same series of prompts.

Well done, you have successfully used a pitfall to trap a Primitive Giant and gained a new rank of proficiency with pitfalls. You can now boast that you use a pitfall as well as any Adept.

I realised where this was going and watched as Jeric and I received every rank up to Master.

51

CLEANING UP THE MESS

It was late afternoon when a knock on the parlour door stopped Jeric mid-sentence. “Come in,” he said.

The right door opened and Ranic stepped in, smiling ear to ear, before pushing the door closed behind him. The smile didn’t mean anything. He’d been smiling like that ever since he’d learned his house of scholars had leveled twice due to all the farmer experience we accumulated. Apparently, the farmer experience gained from killing monsters went to the total required to level it the same as any other. It also meant there had been another bump in our overall experience gains and his house of scholars increased in size twice, reaching level three just before Adoya’s did. You could now see the top floor of both buildings above the village wall.

“I was just briefing Arnold on the status of his farm and the experience he gained. Can this wait?”

“No. My neighbour, Beldose, is currently outside yelling at your butler.”

Jeric frowned. “Your neighbour the bank owner?”

“The very same. He’s got three dozen mercenaries with him. It seems the regent informed him of our fraud three days ago and he’s quite upset. The horses he and his mercenaries rode in on look exhausted.”

Fuck.

The timing lined up too perfectly with the day we trapped that giant for it to be a coincidence. It meant the regent was still watching me. Still trying to screw me over. How much did she know? What was her end game? This was her third attempt at causing trouble since we’d left Melgrim. Each time she’d successfully chipped away a few more of our resources. How much was this attempt going to cost me? I shook my head. I had too little information to make a reasonable guess. But it was going to be too much. I couldn’t put off talking to her sister much longer. But we needed to be in a strong position to deal with her. We weren’t there yet, but we would be soon.

I realised I was just borrowing problems from the future and cut off my line of thinking. Right now, I had to deal with the problem in front of me and limit the fallout.

That was going to be difficult. Beldose had every reason to hate and distrust me right now. I’d intentionally lied to his bank. That wouldn’t have been an insurmountable problem in a few weeks, but I hadn’t sold any of the experience and come clean to him yet. Doing so now wouldn’t be anywhere near as impactful. That meant, I’d have to rely on my existing impressions of the man to form a plan. Those impressions weren’t bad. He seemed decent enough. The first thing he’d done when he found out the regent wanted something I had was give me a warning to protect me. So he clearly didn’t like her. Hopefully, mutual dislike and a chance to make a whole lot of money would be enough motivation to pull him back to our side. If it wasn’t, we’d have to change our new plans, again.

I turned to Jeric. “Can you get a chest from the vault?”

Jeric raised an eyebrow at me. “You want to show him a chest?”

“I need to come clean and be honest. It’s my only hope of keeping the loan.”

Jeric’s other eyebrow rose. “Ranic, find Emily and ask her to vouch for your neighbour’s safety within these walls. If he has had any of the mercenaries take an oath that offers secrecy, they may join him. If he hasn’t, they cannot enter.”

Ranic nodded and the two men hurried out of the room.

It had been three days since we captured the giant and collected all the experience from defending the farm. The remaining villagers had all hurried back when I offered them max pay to help with the cleanup. Their presence had boosted the village aura back to full strength, but it wasn’t enough. The giant’s aura was cancelling most of it out. It was why Quilly and Adoya had the villagers going from barn to barn to sift through the rubble for functional trap components while they were locating corpses.

Whenever one of them designated that a barn was salvaged, I’d pay Emily the money she needed to make the village interface immediately rebuild it. Then Brek and his men would start making the changes necessary for us to install Quilly’s salvaged traps. We were all still running on fumes. There weren’t enough hours in the day for all the work we had and we couldn’t slow down.

We’d only bought ourselves a few weeks of respite after culling the monsters numbers so heavily. Salem was already seeing new monsters around the village border. We needed the barns back up and running if Blackwood was going to survive the next few months.

Thankfully, our success had encouraged the families that hadn’t sold their land to give trapping monsters a try. I had more volunteers than the 19 Jeric and I could currently have under us. I needed to quickly find more farmers who had passed through their first and second threshold to increase that number. Having a farm manor would remove the farmhand limit the system placed on me, but waiting for it to be built would take too long. I needed people now.

I looked down the list of 168 live monsters that were currently caged in several barns, along with my new monster pits. They were being fattened on the dead trolls and ogres we were pulling from the barns to increase their levels. Most were wolves and mountain lions, beasts that couldn’t go beyond level 25 and would be at their limit in a few days. Only 23 of them could reach level 50 and those were currently secured in the monster pits. Most of the 23 were those baby komododiles that thankfully grew absolutely enormous. There was also a baby troll, two baby cyclopes, a young ogre that had lost both legs and lived, and two ape babies who could make it to level 75. I didn’t have a problem with killing any of them. I had seen them in action and knew exactly how dangerous they were.

Still, I had a hard decision to make.

We had all done the math. There was too much experience trapped inside the dead monster’s carcasses for the living ones to absorb. We were either going to have to let a ridiculous amount go to waste or feed it to the giant.

We could take it out of the giant when we killed him, but making a giant stronger, even a seemingly trapped giant, was not a good idea.

I’d tried everything I could think of to kill it. Dropping it onto spikes had cost it half its HP, but the barrels of moonshine down there and the Molotov cocktails I had thrown only cost it a few extra percent. Even with the whole pit being on fire, it hadn’t run out of air or burned to death, and the few spears I’d thrown in frustration bounced off.

For now, our only option was to leave it there.

I went through the notes that held Quilly’s estimates for reconstruction and refitting while I waited and then moved on to her notes for expansion. We were in agreement that the number of automated barns had to increase. There had been far more monsters than we could deal with. That couldn’t happen again.

I was grateful that trapping the giant had dissolved the monsters’ alliance. If it hadn’t we might have still lost the village. The surviving horde that reached the reservoir held hundreds of monsters, more than enough to tear everything apart. But what had looked like a retreat after the giant fell in had turned into an all-out war within a few minutes. It had started as the apes versus everything else, but once they were dead, it was a free-for-all. A dozen ogres had come out on top, and then tried to get into the village, but they hadn’t caused more than minor damage before succumbing to Quilly’s traps, leveling her further. Several dozen trolls that had fallen during the free-for-all regenerated enough to limp back to the forest just before dawn. The survivors might migrate away from the region now that the giant wasn’t in charge, but they also might start trying to grow stronger. But that was just another item on a long list of problems.

There was another knock at the door.

“Come in,” I said.

The parlour doors opened.

Emily glided into the room, wearing her noble face, giving the false impression she was unshakable. Ranic followed next, entirely relaxed. Beldose, the bank owner, stormed in behind him with a pair of guards flanking him. He’d lost weight since I had last seen him and his suit was rumpled after travelling from Weldon to Blackwood in only three days.

I smiled. “Hello, Beldose. I wanted to thank you for arranging that lawyer for me. He was a lot of help in a trying time. So thank you. Would you like a glass of something? It’s not a short trip to come out here.”

The vein on Beldose’s forehead grew as he did a double-take, comparing the man he had met in his office to the gorgeous Adonis sitting in front of him. “Lord Emily, please have this man arrested at once. He has defrauded the Bank of Weldon. The regent has confirmed this.”

Emily cleared her throat. “I am all too aware of exactly what Arnold has done, sir. However, he has informed me that none of what he told you constituted a direct lie, only many lies of omission which were purposely designed to cause you to come to the wrong conclusions. Arnold is fully aware of what he has done to your bank, but from a legal standpoint, all fault is actually with you. So if you wish to pursue this matter you will need to go through the courts.”

He went redder.

I sighed. “Beldose, relax. You look like you are going to give yourself a heart attack.” I went to the tray in the corner of the room that held the bottle of brandy, picked everything up, and brought it all back to the table. I poured a large glass and handed it to Ranic.

The old man frowned for half a second and then caught my intent and started drinking away his problems. I poured myself and the bank owner a more reasonable glass as Ranic’s socialite ability began to kick in.

I handed Beldose his drink and sat down. “I understand you are upset.”

“I’m more than upset. How a man like you could ever receive the crown’s mark, I do not know.”

“But I did, and that should tell you something.”

“It tells me you are a greater fraudster than any I have ever heard of.”

An anger that wasn’t my own gripped me in its cold hand, frightening me with its ferocity as it took control of my actions and words. “Sir, I have stood before the king and he has judged me. Is that not good enough for you?”

Beldose sucked in a breath, paused, and then visibly calmed, before speaking more slowly. “I have seen him from afar, you know. Even at a distance, he put many things in perspective for me. Nevertheless, I have a responsibility to my clients. And though it pains me, in this case, I must say no.”

The anger was gone as quickly as it had appeared. The flip was so sudden that I had to take a drink to cover my shock. What the hell was that?

I lowered the glass. “I hear you.”

Jeric walked into the back of the room, put the chest on the ground, and closed the doors.

I tapped my finger on the table. “Beldose, you vouched for your men at the door. Will you do so again?”

He frowned, sensing something amiss. “They have taken an oath to my bank. They cannot harm you physically or verbally unless you constitute a significant threat to the bank or her properties. You currently constitute a threat, however.”

I paused. “If that were to change, would they keep my secrets?”

He nodded.

“Fine, let me be completely open and honest with you. I admit I told you what you wanted to hear to make you come to the wrong conclusions and loan me the money I requested. However, I fully intended to use that money to create a profitable farm that would easily repay the interest on the loan. That is even easier now that I have the crown’s mark and this village boasts a level three house of scholars that specialises in farming.”

Beldose snorted. “Preposterous, your house of scholars is two months old. It couldn’t have leveled so quickly.”

“It has,” Ranic said. “Beldose, do you remember what I told you when the city guard came to my house looking for Arnold? I said that he is an exploitationist and a very good one.”

I nodded to Jeric.

Jeric picked the chest up and placed it beside the bank owner. He flicked the clasps and pulled back the lid. 27 massive green experience crystals sat inside. Beldose’s eyes were instantly glued to them.

I cleared my throat to gain his attention. “There is a paper with their value written on it on the table, but I can see you don’t trust me, so it will be simpler and more believable if you handled the experience crystals yourself.”

Jeric stepped back.

Over the next minute, Beldose pulled out each crystal and placed it on the table. The look in his eyes said he was counting. With each consecutive crystal, his anger lessened. When the last one went down, he was almost peaceful. “If you had all this, why would you need to defraud me?”

I cleared my throat again, this time embarrassed. “Actually, tricking you is how I gained that chest and twelve others. We were trying to save Blackwood.”

“Yes, I heard about the giant. It’s actually what made me so angry when the regent informed me of your fraud. You invested my bank’s money in a village that has no future. Nevertheless, now, I see you were creating this. Might I suggest taking it to auction slowly? If you dump it on the open market, the price will collapse back to base. Even if you ignore my suggestion, it will still take years, perhaps more than a decade, to sell so much.”

“To be honest, I don’t plan to sell more than the chest I’m sending back with you. And I’m happy to trickle feed it into the market as long as you are willing to allow that. What I did to you was wrong, even if at the time it was necessary. If you want to, you may use the contents of that chest to pay back the loan and interest, and we can end our contract and our relationship.”

I had to fight not to hold my breath as I waited for his reply. I’d been completely open and honest with him. I’d owned up to everything I’d done. Now, I just had to hope that he was the type of banker who put business and money first.

He shook his head and then finally smiled, even if only for a second. “And if I didn’t want to end our relationship?”

I almost sighed with relief. “Then your bank would become the sole bank I deal with for the rest of my life.”

Beldose pulled at his moustache. “Before I say anything more, I would like to know what you are planning to do with the rest of the experience.”

“I’m planning to loan it to my new workers, give them a chance at a proper life. Nobleman Jeric and his wife are currently contacting hundreds of southern nobles who have an overflow of young farmers with no levels to their name. As a favour to these nobles, Emily will agree to take them off their hands. With my current capabilities, I can take more than 23,000 farmers and level them to 10. The crown has already agreed to supply our houses of scholars with staff, which means there will be no less than seventy-five professional farming scholars, and twice as many apprentices, capable of teaching these new farmers. At the small price of 100 noble experience for each individual we take, level, and train, Emily will eventually accumulate enough experience to reach her second threshold. The reason the southern nobles will accept this proposal is because this will be considered a change of fate and will eventually earn them more experience than their initial investment.”

Beldose’s nostrils flared and he took a drink of his brandy. The governor in Weldon was only level 35. There were a lot of cities that had a noble at their second threshold. However, there were only a couple of towns that had nobles with such a high level, so most would consider it a joke to suggest a village would have one, but I wasn’t joking, and he could tell.

Ranic chuckled. “Leveling the farmers here will also add enough farming points to Arnold’s farm to make it as productive as a traditional operation.”

“It will,” I said. “I should also probably inform you that Master Scholar Ranic is fully in charge of my farm and its development along with instructing its new workers. Additionally, I have gained the level 50 promotion known as the Advanced Farming Bonus which gives twice the bonus experience as its more common counterpart and I fully intend to purchase the promotion crystals required to upgrade it as soon as possible.”

Beldose took another sip and then held his glass between his hands, resting them on the edge of the table. “Before I tell you what I will want from you to continue our relationship, tell me: what do you want from my bank?”

“I would like to keep our original loan. You may not have heard, though that would surprise me, but I have made myself an enemy of the regent. I am quite certain that no other northern bank will now work with me. I can try the southern banks, but I imagine that it will be challenging to gain their trust after what I have done.”

“I would say that it will be the next thing to impossible even in the south,” Beldose said. “It will be entirely impossible in the north. I’ve placed a black mark next to your name and the regent has backed it.”

“I figured as much.”

Beldose stared at his glass for several seconds. “I’m sure you realise that helping you maintain the loan would ostracise my bank. No one wishes to cross the regent. We would be cut off from all but our most patriotic partners in the north.”

“I do.”

“Here is my proposal then. Before I leave, you and your people will divulge everything you are doing here, along with everything you will do in the future. You will also tell me how you have gained so much experience, but I will wait until an oath binder arrives before requiring you to do so. When I leave, I will take the chest of experience back to Weldon and discreetly auction it on your behalf. If I like what you have planned and you accept changing the interest rate we charge you from 3% to 5%, I will put the money from the sale into your personal account and maintain the first portion of the loan. The conditions for the second instalment and each consecutive one will be another change to the original loan. Before issuing each one, I will be allowed to view your progress and make the decision to veto the instalment. However, before any of that happens, I will require you make an oath to me that you will never intentionally bring harm to my bank again and that my bank will be the sole bank you use in the future. I can no longer trust your word or claimed good intentions, Landlord Arnold.” He turned and glared at Ranic. “You too.”

I thought about that carefully. I’d expected I’d have to make an oath if I wanted to continue to do business with him, but the 5% interest rate he was now demanding because of the regent’s interference would cut into the farm’s already small profits. However, I didn’t have another option. It was either take the deal or lose the loan. And losing the loan would be worse than losing the profits. For our new plan to work, we needed to grow the farm and the village, and Poler had told me months ago that the demand for farmer experience in the kingdom was only ever between 40,000 and 80,000 crowns. Once that amount was met, it would take years for more to be required.

Despite the farmer experience being worth hundreds of thousands of crowns, there was no local demand to turn it into money. And the cost of taking it outside the kingdom was not something I was currently comfortable bearing.

“I agree to your proposal. I have an oath binder I’ve hired in the next village which should speed up the process for me divulging what you want to know.”

“Why the rush?”

“In a couple of weeks, I plan to be heading down south to find my new workers.”

He stared at me, confused. “But the giant, the call to abandon the village, is still in effect.”

I grinned. “Oh, that’s taken care of.”

I picked up the top of the stack of papers and flicked through, looking for the one I had written on. I checked to make sure it was the right one; there were several drafts I didn’t want people to see.

Farmer Arnold has a giant stuck in his well and is looking for ideas on how to kill it. If anyone can give him the method and means, they can keep half of the farmer experience he receives.

I passed it over to him. “Everyone keeps telling me that it sounds too cheesy for a quest, but I like it. It’s very me.”

The End

ARNOLD’S FINAL STATS

Mailing List, Twitter, and Facebook

Look, I’ve been described as a bit of a technological Neanderthal. I didn’t even have a smart phone until last year. So, don’t expect too much from me. I’ll update my progress for the next book using Twitter and Facebook on the first of each month and I will most likely reply if you have a question. Apparently, I need to be a bit of a twat with the mailing list, promoting other authors’ books through it so they will promote mine through theirs, but I will try to keep that down to once a month.

FACEBOOK

This is where you should go if you want to point out typos. It is also where you should go if you want to argue with me about massive plot holes.

TWITTER

This is where you should go if you want to listen to someone in their early 30s complain about having to learn how to use twitter. I spent 30 minutes trying to make a link for this and gave up.

MAILING LIST

This is where you should go if you want to do me a solid favour. I mean I’ll try to only swap mailing lists with writers whose books I like, but I’m going to be honest, if someone out there has a huge mailing list and they want to swap I’ll probably cave and do it. If it’s any consolation, I’ll feel a bit bad about it.

Author Aaron Hodges

They are going to break my LEGS!!!

Aaron and I went to the same high school. We used to play the Yu-Gi-Oh trading card game and handball at lunch. He was the only person I can claim to know who has self-published in any way, so when I needed a bit more information on what that involved I contacted him through facebook and asked if he could give me a hand. Aaron gave me a hand, foot, and elbow, so now there is a link for his fantasy series at the back of my book. Give it a go. It’s on Kindle Unlimited.

Warbringer: Desendants of the Fall, Book 1.

Also by Benjamin Kerei

This would be where I mention all the other awesome books I’ve written in case you were interested in reading anything else by me. But since I don’t have any I’m going to tell you my top 5 favourite litrpg series out of the 200 litrpg books I’ve read in the last 18 months.

Number 1:

Dungeon Crawler Carl, by Matt Dinniman

Number 2:

Life Reset, by Shemer Kuznits

Number 3:

Mayor of Noobtown, by Ryan Rimmel

Number 4:

Threadbare: Stuff and Nonsense, by Andrew Seiple

Number 5:

The Land: Books 1-7 (We do not mention book 8), by Aleron Kong

If you’re looking for like minded nerds, who will talk about gamelit/litrpg books with you because your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, bestfriend, friend, casual acquaintances, or dog will no longer humour you after having already listened to hours of you raving about characters stats, then check out the-

Gamelit Society!!!

or

LITRPG Books!!!